How soon do I have to talk sexual with a girl to avoid friend zone?

Question

jailbreak · Accepted Answer

The friendzone happens in my exp when you just talk to a girl like ur buddies. a lot of nice guys do this cuz they are afraid to let women know what they want. So they sit on the side waiting for the woman to come to him, which can happen but sometimes its so delicate most men miss the opportunity. So the nice guy talks to her about different topics and at some point in the future makes a move. By that time, women will have gotten used to u as a buddy and will not feel sexual tension and won't want to ruin what y'all have.

To prevent this understand something. Women love sex just like us, theyre human. They just can't go around claiming that without being looked at negatively. Also, women love bad boys.

Bad boys are not criminals women beaters or cheaters, thats not what they want. Bad boys are men that dont give a shit and goes after what he wants. he's confident, daring, funny, and direct. This tells women he's a go getter, he knows what he wants, but is not a simp who will bow down to her, a man.

In my exp, anytime i was direct with her, for example; getting her number telling her i noticed her, then going out chatting with her but flirting as well, then moving on to sexual convo, i was waaay more successful. However when i was passive i was much less successful.

This is because nice guys want women just like bad guys but theyre not confident and just like we look at womens bodies they look at confidence. So dont give a fuck bro let her know what u like about her and whats up and if she's not with u on it, let it go.
Lastly, be smart about the convo. Dont go in saying hi i wanna fuck. Talk to her, quickly flirt, show some interest but be flirtatious. Then slowly push to sexual as u get to know her. If she's on board u good, if not then say bye. She will either chase u or u will save time. Truth

Diodoro · Accepted Answer

You just need to establish yourself as a sexual being and not her "buddy". That's pretty easy to do without being overly sexual. It helps bring a little explicit. It helps talking about sexual topics but you don't have to.

You can do small things like talking about experiences you've had non sexually with women, stories about exes, girls you were talking to, girls that were into you. Just doing that already establishes you as a guy who has sexual relationships

If a girl mentions a movie that you saw, just saying "oh yea, I took a girl to go see that movie. I loved it" does it. Telling her "actually, you're quite cute" does it.

If you curse every now and then in conversation that shows her you're less conservative or worried about what others think about you.

None of these things mean she'll want to fuck you. But you will be establishing yourself as a guy who has female relations, lending you more towards being not considered a friend.

kerrylouise · Accepted Answer

I prefer it when the guy is upfront and direct. This can be done in a smooth but subtle manner to begin with.
A few flirty comments, maybe subtle touching, like putting your hand around her back or a touch of the hand.
Not in a creepy forceful way, but when there is a opportunity too. Maybe giving her your jacket if its cold out.

If you've been out a few times and she vibes with you, then just go in for a kiss.
Gauge how she reacts to your flirting. If you're being a little cheeky, does she give it you back?
Is she iniating anything? If she is into you, you'll know.

I definitley prefer a guy who appears keen. Who tells me i look hot and plans dates.
Guys that are quiet and too shy, tend to leave me wondering how to proceed.
Where as a guy who is ballsy, and just tells me he wants me, is more my type. I dont have to guess or initiate it, because chances are, he will or has and I'll definitley be up for seeing where things lead.

I like the excitment that comes from someone who is confident an knows what they want and how to get it

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hmm, I see the conundrum. From the female perspective, I've always been turned off if a guy brought up sex too soon. Made me think he was only after one thing. But I never considered the whole friend zone problem. So... my gut says 3 dates to say anything too sexual. Bringing up being attracted to her is okay on the first date (or when you first ask her out), good night kiss is okay on the second date (in my opinion), starting the sexual talk probably okay by 3rd date.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If your interest is LTR and not just a hookup, you should not talk about sex to keep out of the friend zone. You should simply let her know through your actions that you are sexually attracted to her. Passionate kisses, full body hugs, quite whispers in her ear are very effective in letting her know that you want her.

ManOnFire · Answer

You have to incorporate flirting into your dialogue. Not excessively, but be playful regularly. Show that you can be colorful and entertaining. Do this for awhile and then start adding in a few almost serious sexual statements. Nothing explicitly direct, but enough to send a message that she'll get.

Exterminatore · Answer

The bottom line is there is no guideline here. You will learn through experience and probably several bad ones because it seems like you lack intuition regarding this as to when to introduce that subject. All I can say is tread lightly if you’re not sure when or how or even why you should bring it up or not. If she’s interested in you, she will probably stay that way so long as your mouth doesn’t turn her off. If she isn’t interested, you mentioning that subject will only insure she stays that way.

boltfox20 · Answer

The "friend zone" is an unavoidable place. Either they consider you a close friend or they have sexual interest in you. You can't force that kind of attraction. If they are attracted to you, it's never too late. If they aren't attracted to you, there is never a right time.

Give women a little more credit. They see the world in three dimensions, just like us. They don't have special settings that get triggered in the right situation any more than you do. Just be patient and keep looking. You'll find a lover, in time.

CharlesScene · Answer

No one girl is the same but Id say the best thing to do, is implant that you want to date her before getting to know her.

I normally do when I approach a girl is spark a conversation with her, rather by compliment or just asking a question about her interest. Keep the conversation kind of short, with 2 goals in mind, make her smile and or laugh, and grab a quick study of what she is like. And as the conversation is hitting its peak, say that you need to go do something and ask if she would like to continue this conversation over lunch sometime. If she says yes, then ask for her number so you two can plan the date.

You'll get plenty of rejections, but in this format, you can skip a ton of stuff when trying to avoid the friendzone or rejection later down the line.

Another huge bonus in this, you already secured a date and you haven't even gotten her number yet

slatyb · Answer

That's not how it works. You meet someone, have a bit of conversation. If she's interested enough to continue the conversation you ask her to coffee or lunch or whatever. If that goes well you plan a more serious date -- dinner, maybe some entertainment, or whatever you both enjoy. She'll let you know when she wants to be kissed or more.

I started dating at about your age after a divorce. I met almost all my dates online. I never had to ask for a kiss or anything else. My dates made it plain from their body language when they wanted some intimacy. Of course there were many one and done. That didn't bother me, I had no expectations. I saw one woman for a year, we broke up, I was with another for five years, that fell apart as our children became teens, then a couple years after that I met my wife.

DaveJord · Answer

As soon as you know you don't just want to be friends. If you wait too long you might fall into the friend zone trap.

The sooner the better. If she says she just wants to be friends, you got to break contact with her... if you keep seeing her as friends then there's no escaping the trap and you feel tormented.

Break it off and she might come around, and she might not... but at least you aren't torturing yourself.

Lynx122 · Answer

You have to leave it up to her pretty much. Just be yourself and if she likes you then you can move forwards but if she doesn't like you there's nothing you can do to change that. There are things you work on to increase your chances but you will never have a real influence.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

The thing is, it’s not a thing you do.

every person is different, you don’t go ‘oh chatted 5 mins then go ‘nice tits’’

if you can flirt, be nice, show respect, be interesting, funny etc, you don’t really need to talk sex as such.

bodiesands · Answer

Erm... it's not mathematics.
Seeing it in this mechanical way implies you're pretty clueless about signals - both positive and negative - which should be a red flag for whoever you hang around.
To quote HP - "If you need to ask you'll never know."

DizzyDesii · Answer

Its not so much of when to talk dirty but more so of when to be flirty. If you feel a mutual vibe coming from her, flirt and tease her to show your interest. If she brushes it off then politely crawl into the friendzone or walk away

NathanDavis · Answer

something tells me you won't even make it to the friendzone...

kenz000 · Answer

It’s about the vibes. If you feel the connection with each other then there shouldn’t be a problem trying to initiate it. Of course go slow so she can have a chance to speak up if needed.

melanieeeB · Answer

Uhm just be little flirty from the get go and talk to her about that you're interested in her.

fonduegirl · Answer

I always initiate such things. Not all girls are shy and submissive, js. The vibe needs to be just right.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Make intentions known, ask for sexy time, if the answer is negative... just move on. It's better to get it over with.

dolemite89 · Answer

i’d make innuendos but only when the situation calls for it, honestly just don’t be too friendly or give them too much attention and u should avoid the friendzone

HughDogg · Answer

Observe when she is making a joke that's sort of sexual and then push it slightly further. Don't rush it or you'll come across as weird

cookiecrusher · Answer

First second. Doesn't have to be sexual. Start with a compliment, be assertive, brave/confident, and most importantly don't give a fuck.

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

Do it right away, but only allude to such thing. Don’t be obvious.

888theGreat · Answer

You should let her know you want kids with her pretty early

Anonymous · Answer

Probably some sexual flirting if she seems open about things after awhile

exitseven · Answer

There is no such thing as the friend zone.

In_Trance · Answer

You're in your 30s...

MJtheCoach · Answer

I never talk about sex. I just let out happen.

coveyg2 · Answer

No limit when you feel comfortable

Recurrence · Answer

When they start it

Anonymous · Answer

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How soon do I have to talk sexual with a girl to avoid friend zone?

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How soon do I have to talk sexual with a girl to avoid friend zone?

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Is it okay that I don't want to have anything to do with a girl once she friend zoned me?

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