Do you think ghosting is childish?

Question

& should be reserved for kids? I don't know how on earth grownup adults are ghosting!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Ugh I don't know. I went on a date after not dating over a year. The guy is really nice and that’s what made me go on a date with him to begin with. But I’m taller than him and he’s more Petite than I am. And it just made me feel big. Which I’m not I’m 5’4’’ n 115 lbs. I’m not use to this feeling. So I’ve kinda been slower to respond and trying to show no enthusiasm. I don't know what to do because he doesn’t seem to get it. He is a nice guy but I’m not romantically attracted to him. I just goggled how to let someone know after one date. And all responses say you should say something to I had a good time but I didn’t feel a connection. But I don't know that seems so rude to me. I’ve never done online dating before. In person dating people just use to get it. I’ve never once had for tell a guy straight up I’m not interested they just understood it from the vibe. Why is this so different now. If I texted a guy I only meet once and he didn’t respond I’d clearly know he wasn’t interested. I’m not saying ghosting a person u had a full blown relationship with is okay but after one date? I really have to tell you? Shouldn’t u arrive at that conclusion after it takes me 3 hrs to respond to a good morning text? I don't know am I wrong?

WonderBell99 · Accepted Answer

Ghosting is certainly immature. I’ve been ghosted a lot before and trust me, it sucks big time. I would rather they be honest and talk to me about it and be upfront about their intentions than ghost me. I ONLY ghost perverts and rude people. But even with them, I usually let them know that their behavior is unacceptable and then block them.

I’m not the type of person who’s too childish or scared to let someone know what’s bothering me. At the same time, I’m not rude when I do it either. I usually try to be considerate of others feelings. If they are persistent on not leaving me alone even after I told them so, then I simply just block them. I know that ghosting is going to hurt no matter what.

I think one of the main reasons why people ghost is because if they change their mind about that person, they can give a lame excuse like: “oh I’m sorry, my grandma was sick, so I was taking care of her” even when I clearly knew that they were online posting stories on Instagram every day. It’s incredibly disrespectful and cowardly. I would move on and block the person if they ghost me. It’s not worth it.

globetrotter22 · Accepted Answer

Just a FYI I define ghosting as when you message someone and they intentionally don’t message you back and/or block you (when you did nothing fundamentally wrong).

Some women think ghosting is when a guy just stops initiating contact although the guy would most likely message back if contacted. I do not define that as ghosting. For example i went on a date with a girl a month ago who I lost interest in (she’s an alcoholic). I stopped messaging her but if she messaged me and asked what’s up I would be honest with her. I did not “ghost” her.

Anyway there is some really weird Benjamin button bullshit going on with people nowadays. It’s not just young people doing this either. Grown ass adults over 30 “ghost” and it’s pathetic. It’s been done to me twice in the last 3 years.

Luopio27 · Accepted Answer

I understand that for celebrities and so popular people get hundreds of date requests a day that there is no time to do anything.. I know some people can be so manipulative emotionally that ghosting and hiding is the only way to get them to back off for good.

Nit in the end, rejection, no matter how kindly or awfully it is delivered, its still the truth that hurts, the truth that cannot be touched. Rejection itself hurts like a knife.

Ghosting should still be avoided as much as possible. Never know who knows who, you know!

Account · Answer

If someone decides to ghost me, they do not owe me any explanation, unless we are very very close and even then I wouldn't get mad.
Such things happen, people grow distant for numerous reasons. I have no time to be concerned about that. It is pointless.
I have a huge ego, but I prefer wasting a part of myself on something more beneficial instead on worrying on who ghosted me and why.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

Absolutely. I understand not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings and just wishing it would all go away… But ghosting is immature and the easy way out - For them… Which hurts the other person even more. It’s selfish to be honest.

Moose304 · Answer

Depends on the situation. If the couple can handle the breakup as adults and move on yes ghosting is pathetic. The thing is some can't. It's important to remember most relationships break up because of infidelity. It's important for the betrayed to get OUT of that toxic situation ASAP! If nothing else just for a week or so to catch their breath and decide the future. This can't happen when the cheater goes all psycho on them and blows up their phones and starts showing up on their jobs etc etc. There is three women I have had to "ghost". I blocked them on my phone, on all social media, and in the security office of my residence, their photos are on the board so the guards know to call the police because they have violated protective orders. So, ghosting can be both childish and childlike, but unfortunately can be necessary!

Msputiton · Answer

Well it's more just about fear. They are afraid to deal with any inconvenience so they ghost.

But i also find it surprising how many people lose they minds over it.

I mean someone decides to stop talking to you, they don't really owe anyone an explanation, unless they are in a committed relationship.

It could be the reason they ghosted someone in the first place.
Ya know this sense of entitlement and controlling behavior.

Also the feelings the person getting ghosted could also only be one way.
Like if you are all into someone who really could careless about you.
They really ain't gonna take the time to say goodbye.
I think take it less seriously and just move on.
I actually see lots of people really hold on to this like this was the end of the world

jshm2 · Answer

Don't be silly.

Ghosting is adults turning away when they don't want to get any more involved. Childish would be digging the hole deeper and wasting both your times to a situation that is going to lead to one of both of you walking away anyway.

Much better to not waste time, and cut contact there and then.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I think it is, people want to avoid confrontation and that is their way out. I've seen girls ghost boyfriends, it is how they break up with them, guys ghost their entire family. Rather than talk about the problem, they just cut them out of it.

These aren't for major reasons either, some one said some stupid comment and ghost, now the rest are wondering what.

Then after so long, person wants to have contact again but really doesn't know how to reach out after ghosting them.

hahahmm · Answer

Most guys would only ghost you because YOU're a stalker and didn't listen to the other 20 times they begged you to stop stalking OR you're a cheating whore and it's the best way for him to keep himself from doing something you really won't like to you (verbally or otherwise) so he moves on 100%. In these cases you don't deserve anything.

Robertfootball · Answer

Nope. I ghosted a girl that had me in the friendzone for 2 1/2 years and don’t regret it one bit. First year and a half was fine, second year she got to where she started asking me for money and favors all the time. It was like that was the only time she’d text me, when she needed something. It wasn’t like before where she’d text me like normal. That’s probably why I stuck it out as long as I did because things weren’t always that way. So I just got fed up being used and ghosted her.

Medicalbug · Answer

I only ghost people who harass me. I let people know I’m not interested or busy, but I don’t feel obligated to talk to them if they don’t take that seriously and keep contacting me or expecting an answer. Also ghosting to me is a sign of no interest - I just take it as a no and move on.

The_sweet_brat · Answer

Yes and no. It depends on the situation.

If you have already told that person that you are not interested and they keep texting you, then I would say that it's okay to ghost them, or hell, take it a step further and block them.

However if you don't tell them anything and just ghost them that is a bit rude, and it's as simple as saying you're not interested.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Lmao. I know kids that behave better then 30 yr olds… but let’s be honest a minute. If I’m honest and you don’t like my opinion you throw a fucking fit. It’s common on both sides… I’ve been ghosted it’s stupid but so it the effort I have to go through to even find a worthwhile women. Don’t bitch about it just don’t do it because frankly nobody cares what you or others think and humans are just hypocritical fools.

Commander_Red · Answer

Unless it's for safety reasons, yes, it's childish. When did communication become such a scary thing? If you don't like someone or don't have time for a relationship, just tell them. Don't ghost them and make them wonder what went wrong. I can at least respect them afterwards. If you ghost me, I just lose respect for you.

genericname85 · Answer

no, what people do is a result of their previous experiences. i think that considering this "childish" is mostly ignorant. it can certainly stem from a childish inability to take accountability for you actions but it can also stem from negative experience with horrible people, where ignoring them has just proven to be the best solution for the problems they threw at you.

thinking about weirdos and stalkers here.

silkjames · Answer

Ghosting is last resort in some situations some people just don't understand when u have told them your allset and they keep pushing like it's cute or something sometimes that's all a parson can do when our person don't listen just ghost there ass now they know u not playing 😂

Wraith_Cemetery · Answer

Ghosting someone is really childish. The only reasonable time to ghost someone would be if and when you're in physical danger. Otherwise, the grown up thing to do would be to tell the person you no longer want to talk to them and give a reason why.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

I think so yeah, I think people do it cause they don’t want to hurt the person’s feelings though.

Imagine being so crazy for someone and think something will happen between you and them and then they drop a bomb on you… most people would be very emotionally crushed

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

I wouldn't call it childish, but it does show that people don't like to be upfront or clear on where things are headed. The people usually affected by ghosting are:

Those getting too invested too early.

Those that are not picking up on or ignoring the cues/signs

Those that get their hopes up just because they're talking to someone

Those that never learn from past mistakes.

DonkeyDan · Answer

Yes it's completely ridiculous and even kids should learn it's the wrong thing to do. People only do it because they can't face conflict these days. Back before texts and called ID you had to deal with your problems.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

It is extremely childish , I mean are these people still stuck in highschool. We're adults not teens. I rather have someone be straight forward and honest rather then live me wondering what the hell is going on.

ThoseCognacEyes · Answer

Depends on who you ask, some people deem it justifiable as an easy escape when they don’t want to confront someone as a mean of preserving their energy and all that bullshit. I personally think it’s childish af and shows cowardice.

LinaDaGoddess · Answer

Yes because as an adult you should be comfortable enough to communicate how you feel… ghosting is VERY toxic and it’s very unhealthy.. it’s the same as being physically abused.. that’s how our brain takes it.

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

Sometimes it is a necessary evil. I have told people straight up that I'm not interested or that I'm married and they keep asking and pursuing anyway. When the friendly approach and the direct approach fail, I'm not above ghosting someone.

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes it's necessary for the sake of someone's safety.  for example a toxic partner or parent, who gets violent at the smallest thing is best ghosted before you get hurt.

Wester1967 · Answer

No. Expecting people not to ghost and instead have long conversations about why they don't like you and how it will be totally impossible to work things out seems like what? Adulthood?

Sarah3214 · Answer

Depends on the how / when?

On some chat apps you can get up to 50 responses on a post. It's not worth the effort to explain to all the creeps why they're creepy, it's better to just ignore them.

In cases of dealing with stalkers / narcissists / toxic people I think it's alright too.

ally018 · Answer

I agree, I think ghosting is immature but sometimes people don’t know how to be honest about their feelings.

jess05 · Answer

Sometimes. If the person you ghosted, is acting like a child, staking you, being mean, or disrespectful. Than just walking away from the situation, is the most mature thing you can do.

Mangospacho · Answer

It doesn’t always work. If you’re not important enough, they might not even notice. Like the time I ghosted @t-8900 for two whole days and he didn’t even notice.

Hypnos0929 · Answer

Unless the person is a legit creep or something along those lines (allowing for vagueness because some people have different definitions of creep) then yeah I think it's kinda childish to ghost

loves2learn · Answer

Nobody should be ghosting. It is rude and immature.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

Yeah, it's pathetic. 'Nobody owes anyone an explanation', yeah well no one owes anyone an apology for insulting you either.

mark000h · Answer

It's absolutely childish and cruel. Nobody should treat someone that way. The least someone can do is tell you it's over to your face.

DiegoO · Answer

Depends. With abbusive persons, is not. With someone (ex, or not) who really cares about you (despite of), I view it as a form of disrespect. You don't do that to someone you respect, or reallt care for.

Jintendo18 · Answer

I had a neighbor who supposedly and suddenly ghosted his marriage about 20 years ago on a whim. The wife still lives there with her new husband and family. Whether or not it’s childish is irrelevant as people don’t seem to care.

Waldoe · Answer

It's very SAD... I guess the person doing the ghosting in unable to work through issues (small or large) that come up in every relationship... so they will be alone and leaving a "Ghost Trail" behind them...

Wiredone · Answer

It's not only childish but disrespectful and cowardly. If you're not interested in the person just tell them straight out. Be honest with them instead of leaving them hanging. I can't stand when someone ghosts people.

slatyb · Answer

Sometimes it’s appropriate. I wouldn’t to anyone I had actually met. But neither would I waste time texting someone I hadn’t met.

NathanDavis · Answer

I think we grown ups should own our shitty wrongdoing and stop putting that on kids behavior... lol

LivForFun · Answer

Kind of but at the same time it's the easiest way to let someone know you don't want to talk to them.

dragoblack · Answer

Depends on the circumstance. If it's because of some rude asshole, it's not. If it's because of the conversation being slightly awkward and no effort is put into change the subject, then yes

andy530 · Answer

Generally yes I do. I find it very juvenile and annoying. That being said I think there are some exceptions when it is the only thing a person can do to disengage and enforce strong protective relational boundaries

Bdsmaster · Answer

No ghosting is scary, keep the kids away from it.
Just kidding.
On a serious note ghosting isn't the right way to end things if someone has a problem they should clear it out rather than vanishing out of sight.

jahaims · Answer

Most of modern dating is childish. People following fake dating rules that are counterproductive

sheikalana · Answer

It is definitely childish but sometimes is the easiest way.

Andres77 · Answer

Laziness? Conflict avoidance? I'll agree with childish

bestfriend69 · Answer

Unless you wanna end things? No. If you don't wanna end things but are ghosting because you're not in mood to talk? That's fucked up.

JohnK123 · Answer

I think it is. Girls tell us to grow balls or whatever. How about you grow some tis

standardguy · Answer

Yes its childish and terrible. Why can't an adult just say: 'Well, it does not work between us because xyz and so we better don't date again.'?

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

No , just means they're not interested and time for you to move on

DemonicBxtch · Answer

I've been ghosting and it hurts. Like could you just not tell me you didn't wanna be friends anymore?

Better_off_here · Answer

it is so childish, and a sad waste of time. be an adult and tell someone what is going on if you do not want them talk to them.

Anonymous · Answer

We don't like it, but it happens. It seems many find it easier to ignore someone than to communicate disinterest with them.

cookiecrusher · Answer

Yes, very.  Childish and immature for women. Weak ass move for men.

CuriousGirlx95 · Answer

I think if you don’t like someone just tell them. Don’t leave them guessing.

Shiningtempest · Answer

@nazgol I see ghosting as cowardly & underhanded approach to showing disinterest or breaking up.

will34 · Answer

Mostly little kids ghost people to goof around and stuff online like Xbox live and other apps

Anonymous · Answer

i ghosted someone because i thought they were being toxic.. so I don't know if its a good thing or not..

sage2021 · Answer

Yes, but even older people do it.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Yep.

Do you think ghosting is childish?

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