How would you feel if you were him? Did I do something wrong?

[AlyCon87]

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and he’s has trust issues due to his past relationship. My ex messaged me a couple days ago saying hi and asking how things are and how things with my boyfriend are and I told him they’re great and I’m really happy. Right after this, I text my boyfriend to let him know my ex had messaged me and that we just had a quick convo. I wanted to tell him so if he saw my exes name on my phone he’d know why and I just thought it was the right thing to let him know. Anyways, I guess I was wrong cause he completely freaked out and got so mad at me. It upsets me because just a couple months ago I found out his ex had messaged him a couple times before and they talked and he never even told me. Did I do something wrong? Would you react the same way he did?

[NamerOfStars]

You didn't do anything wrong in a moral sense, but I can imagine how you might've done it incorrectly in a practical one. Not that I'm saying you DID, just that I can see it coming across that way. Texting is a very limited means of communicating, and I've seen and experienced enough misunderstandings with it to think your message might've been interpreted as you pre-emptively attempting to hide something. It wasn't, but your attempt to avoid a misunderstanding blundered you right into a different misunderstanding (if I had a dollar for every time that's happened to me...).

Depending on your personalities and just how angry he is, you might want to give him a little bit to calm down, but I'd suggest reaching out with a more expansive form of communication and explaining what you were trying to do. It's not the sort of thing you should HAVE to do, but we're all human, and we all have our limits and failings. You'd want someone to do the same for you, after all.

[Oigit]

Situations such as yours are a good example of why I advocate making clean break after a break up. Having contact with a ex after a break up can make it harder to get over them and move on. Also you can find yourself in situations as this. Sure you do have a right to be angry at him for him freaking out. But if both of you made clean breaks the whole mess wouldn't have happened.

[TheLittleInnocent]

Oh hun you did nothing wrong. It wasn't right of him to get mad at you like that.

[Faerum]

You’re in the right, for him to be comfortable not telling you about that yet freak out even when you tell him… I’d be worried about whether or not he’s cheating honestly.

[Anonymous]

Both of you are in the wrong and need to leave the past behind. An ex asking 'how things with my boyfriend are' is a redflag. You responding is a Chinese brigade. Your current boyfriend still talking to his ex is a redflag. Both of you need to either leave the past behind, or just not bother and move on.

[20yearsolder]

You did nothing wrong, if you want to continue to put up with his insecurity, keep dating him but I doubt very much it ever changes