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I feel like it truly depends on how it plays out and is discovered.
So in this instance let's say that two women who are friends both found guys that received training from a dating coach or a PUA like Hitch in the movie here. Say they found out and like you say here are mad because you don't know if they are really who they say they are and truly just some developed and silver tongued guys. The question is how consistent were they with their behavior leading up to that discovery?
People can only hide themselves for so long if they are putting on an act. Eventually it falls apart and you see them for who they are. It takes about 90 days to see someone's true personality, the 3 month probation period if you will. Authenticity will be displayed by that point over a surface level persona.
Now if inconsistency was present for a while leading up to that discovery, then yeah, it could be easy to be mad because it feels cheap and a low way to win someone over by misplaced desire and goals.
I referenced dating coaches and talked to a couple of them and what I did was use their lessons on how a good relationship looks like and forms and went to work on myself and talk to women with no desired outcome. I grew more familiar with what I liked and disliked with conversation and dates that I went on and used that to become more confident and it eventually led me to the woman who is now my girlfriend. Going on four months here and she is the best woman I have ever been with. Not just personality wise, but emotionally and physically as well.
We know each other's patterns, personalities, communication styles and overall dreams and goals. Finding someone that you can be vulnerable like that with is great and I wouldn't change it for the world.
Great answer!!
Being a relationship/dating coach myself it comes from where the coach places their own integrity.
There are some who only look to tricks and manipulative practices. Others only work in theory. Then there a few, like myself, who work with the person to show their true selves.
No tricks, no magic potions, no manipulative practices. Most of what is shown are things that people do not even think about. Such as having that inner voice match the outer voice. Having what you say match what the body language is saying.
When these don't match up the person we coach doesn't appear interesting or unsure of themselves to the person they are talking to.
Another common problem we see is attracting the wrong people. Things like dead end relationships, non-committal people, or abusers. So, we help in showing how to change that by demonstrating the characteristics the person wants to show.
Yes, there are bull shit artists out there. By all means be angry if that is what they learned and the person is not authentic. But, if the person is authentic and just needed help in showing that it's not something I could fault them for.
A lot of what we show is not taught by society anymore. Its assumed people will figure it out, eventually. The results are divorce rates at or near 50%, people calling themselves incels, and MGTOW'S.
Like this answer... And thanks for getting it... Because that's the difference. Trying to improve yourself and social skills there's nothing wing with that. But moves, lines, you'd try in any female instead of going off the person in that moment is what would feel less real, more contrived
Yeah, there aren't any secret moves or lines that work. It's about knowing how to present your authentic self in a confident manner and getting to know the other person.
There are a few certain rules to follow. But how and when you apply them is up to you and the circumstances.
I will feel played on. It was all a LIE just to win me? I can never respect that. Just be honest.
What are you lying for? A wolf in a sheep's clothing, huh.
Someone with good and genuine intentions WILL NEVER do any TRICKS.
These manipulations are mostly done by those who are desperate and waiting to bang bang.
Love, LOVE this answer ♥️💯 omg right!! You said it there sister 🙂👍
Manipulated. Condescended. Used.
And what would be the point? If I wasn’t interested in him in the first place then what’s the point in fake it to get some interest for a little while? Manipulations can never last long term so ultimately it’s a waste of both our time.
See, that's how I would see it!!
Opinion
63Opinion
People can get advice from a coach, a book, a friend... in the end if you are getting better with communicating, flirting, etc then that is all that matters.
If it's still naturally you, but if you're doing actions or behaviors that aren't you just to get someone into you, that's where the issue would come in for me, don't be attentive cuz that's what someone told you to do, be attentive because you find me engaging... Don't laugh because someone suggested you should laugh cuz you don't me funny, and if you don't, say that... Don't bring me flowers because you think that's a way to impress me, bring me flowers because it's something you wanted to do to see the smile on my face... You get what I mean... People already try to hard to impress someone instead of just being themselves from the get go, and then when they stop trying to impress and their different then that's where the issues start when you realize not as well suited for each other because they're not really the person they were pretending to be just to land you..
Just the way I see it 🤷🏼♀️
Sometimes by bringing you flowers and seeing the smile on your face teaches them the meaning of actually giving you flowers in the first place. I get what you are saying but sometimes people who have not been socialized a lot need to do things like this to actually become the best authentic version of themselves. A coach can help them experience things that they may not have a clue about although it seems inauthentic at the time.
Some people just need some help and push in the right direction.
I get what you're saying
No. There are a lot of women that NEED dating advice.🤣
Id say MOST MEN need dating advice.
Its not being handled, its being the best version of yourself. Its etiquette. 👍🏾❤
If that's what it really is and body just player moves to get in the door
*not (not body 🤦)
"Players" don't need or use dating coaches.
@KrakenAttackin Well I see no problem for example with "Hitch". Here you have a guy that was trying to show B the proper etiquette to be with a high class woman in public. What you are talking about is "pickup lines" and stuff. That is not a "Dating Coach" that is more of a "Pick Up Coach". There is a huge different between the two.
A dating coach teaches how to set dates with someone, how to maintain a masculine and confident frame, how to best resolve relationship conflicts, expectations and rules for dating with women. There is a lot of information that I have shared that has been controversial on my myTakes but a lot of what I have written gives some eye opening advice on how to build attraction and bring positivity to a relationship. ( I am not a dating coach but I do give advice on GAG). Men need to STOP over texting, buying flowers, coming across as needy, being pushy about locking a girl down, and being afraid to take the lead sexually and make a move.
On the other end there are "Pick Up Artists" or PUA Coaches. These guys I dont really agree with because they do not coach based on relationships. They dont give advice about how to deal with relationship scenarios. PUA Coaches are strictly "Meet and Fuck" or "Hit it and quit it". They teach seduction techniques to manipulate a woman into sex. The problem here is there is not a focus on how interactions build alpha male or alpha female qualities that improve the relationship over time.
Ok, fair enough. Good reply and breakdown.
If they were somebody I did not like I would be angry but if it was somebody I liked, I would feel flattered or honoured that they went through all that trouble to get me.
As a dating coach myself, I've been asked similar questions in interviews and, in fact, had a client ask me yesterday what to say if his girlfriend found out that he had talked to me about some things related to them and that he was getting my advice when he first started dating her.
My answer to him was that if she somehow found out and asked about it to tell her that she meant so much to him that he wanted to make sure he was seeing things clearly and that he wanted a neutral third party to help him think things through.
Especially when someone has had a lot of relationships to fail and they really care about someone and don't want to lose them too, it makes sense. You want to be better in relationships and to improve. Or for those who seek a dating coach for help in the early stages of the relationship - as in shortly after the two meet - similar concerns are at play and someone who looks into these things and has a lot of observational experience can be helpful to at least allow some people to improve the way they might come across since it's difficult to see yourself through the eyes of others.
That being said, it's not information that I suggest my clients volunteer. However, for those who see it as weird or fake, consider how many times you might have gone online to ask about a romantic interest's behavior or how to be more attractive. It's fairly common. Getting a dating coach is just more of a personalized approach to it.
If that is how you feel then by extension you have to feel that way about makeup, heels, figure hugging and accenting clothing, doing up your hair,, push up bra's, going to the gym to keep your figure/stay slim etc. Funny how women feel this way about men learning how to have social interactions that won't freak women out and allow them to communicate better, but when its them actively altering their looks to land a man that is acceptable.
These men are learning social interactions, things that women respond to, no different then women doing the same thing to men. The idea that your going to demand that a man not know how to interact with women and stay single for the rest of his life is really rather twisted when you actually think about it. I mean because he wasn't gifted with social grace he now has to stay single for the rest of his life? Why would any one demand that of anyone? Again, thats like saying that because a woman is fat she doesn't have the right to try to get fit because it will "trick" a man into wanting her because she is hiding the fact that she use to be fat and could become fat again later, its a stupid idea and its not fair to anyone in that situation.
As long as the man is not lying about who he is, their is nothing wrong with learning social skills. Women are always talking shit about men who don't know how to approach men (they are creepy or what have you) but the moment a man sets out to improve his social skills so women don't see him as creepy he is a manipulative asshole? Again, that is a twisted world view.
Before you try to attack someone you should understand what they're saying. If someone gets coaching to enhance themselves or their social skills is one thing. But if their actions aren't coming from sincerity and just a way to get you to be with them that's different... At the end of the day, you have to be yourself...
I wasn't attacking, but if you consider it that then wouldn't that mean your post was attacking first? I was pointing out the double standards and hypocrisy of the statement, nothing more. As stated, a coach does nothing but tries to get you to understand the psychology of the situation, why certain actions are interpreted certain ways why women act a certain way etc. Their is no manipulation, just understanding communciation, non vocal communication etc. Like I said, what your proposing is that either men know how to do this or they don't and if htey don't they don't get to be with some one and that is twisted. Their is no way around that fact. Again, its not manipulation, its understanding a situation and communication. Unless of course you think that they are taught lines that will some how hijack your mind like hypnosis?
So is this your view on make up and clothing and exercise which women use to make themselves appear completely different then what they are (and filters in pictures etc.) or does it only apply to lonely men who just want to have some one love them? Not every one is gifted with social grace, punishing them for that is pretty screwed up and no excuse is going to alter that fact.
Ok before I delete your whole thread for trying to turn this into a gender thing... My question not this post was about just MEN doing this... Any reference to men was because of the movie I'm sorry it was men in the movie who used a couch, I didn't direct the movie... now stop acting like I'm attacking men... Anyone man or women should present their true self when dating, not just for the other person but for themselves as well. You won't get someone that is the best match for you unless your yourself
*wasn't just about men
I didn't turn it into a gender thing, you did. Women don't use dating coaches generally speaking, that is mostly, almost exclusively men who do that in our society because they are the ones doing the approaching and have to be aware of social ques that women give as to not come off as creepy. So why are you ignoring my points? Why is it that those things which are specifically in existence to decieve men acceptable (hence why your not willing to have them questioned) but a man learning how to speak to women in a way that conveys confidence and allows him to read a situation better so he can know if she is interested or if he is creeping her out bad? You would think that would be of benefit to both men and women. Now your free to delete my post but you will only be proving my point, your upset because this puts power into the hands of men (because again, it is overwhelmingly men who are using this) and out of your hands and that is what upsets you and other women. You want to be the one in control and it scares you that he might be on equal footing with you. Again, this is why you use make up and clothing to increase your worth, he however has to learn how to act a certain way. Its really cruel to demand that he be alone forever because he doesn't know how to properly communicate.
Its like telling some one who had a stutter that they have to continue to stutter the rest of their life because that is their true self even if it makes them have a lower quality of life. I don't see how that is reasonable or fair.
So again, you can delete my comment, but the reason why your angry is because you know that I am right (and you can't rationalize your way out of that realization (cogntive dissonance) and you deleting it will only prove to both of us that I was TOO correct for you to handle. But if pretending like my statements don't exist helps you convince yourself that you don't have a double standard and are not hypocritical (which again, if your not condemning all the things I listed, you are in fact hypocritical), then go for it.
First, I'm not angry... But isn't that the pot calling the kettle? Ask yourself why out of almost 80 replies are you the only one that acted like this was directed at men, when it wasn't? Why did you turn it into a rant about unfairness to men? Why are you accusing me of thoughts or actions I'm not guilty of... So it's not anger, it's I don't care to engage with someone that obviously is biased and assumes more than actually listens or tries to comprehend... So unless you can discuss rationally without trying to put words in my mouth, I'm done here, and so are you ✌🏻✌🏻
Wow. She deleted your comment? Seriously?
@Jamie05rhs no I didn't delete any comment... So maybe you should know what you're talking about before you jump in... But why do you do that?
@hellionthesagereborn She says she didn't delete your comment.
@Jamie05rhs why don't you go back and READ the WHOLE thread... once he started calling me a hypocrite for no reason and turning this into a post to gender bash, I said any more and I would remove the whole thread, that it's STILL here, obviously I didn't... Don't you just hate when people jump into something when they don't have a clue to what they taking about 🙄🙄 but hey, carry on 🤷🏼♀️🤣
I'm not angry, I'm pointing out hypocrisy. We know that this was directed at men because you have NEVER criticised women for wearing makeup or heels or anything else which they use to literally alter their appearence. Second your source for your question is specifically referencing men who get dating coaches, so even that is a male directed. Third, it is overwhelmingly men who get dating coaches because only men are expected to approach women, to figure out how to navigate the social landscape to attracted women.
The fact that your side stepping everything I have pointed out shows that you did intend for this to be directed at men, otherwise your response would have been to state that yes, it is also wrong for women to wear makeup heels etc but I am refering to dating coaches in general. You didn't, you tried to pretend that statement didn't exist, that I was making it gendered when you actually did by default because again, your reference was gendered and the issue is gendered (as I mentioned before). It would be like me brining up makeup being wrong and when you asked why it was gendered I then turn around and accuse you of making it a gendered argument because men (very very very rarely) can wear make up too. Obviously it was gendered from the start, obviously you where not refering to the less then 1% of the female population that might go to a dating coach. Also as I stated, if we compare it to makeup then either we state that its some one trying to present themselves in the best way possible or both are misleading. If you cannot stay consistent on it then that means your biased, that was all I was pointing to. Either it is all wrong or none of it is, but you cannot claim one behavior is good but the same exact behavior is bad depending on who's doing it.
In short, its the inconsistency that I was pointing out. If you say that wearing makeup is intentionally misleading and you feel that going to a dating coach to understand social cues better is also misleading, fine, I disagree but fine. But if your arguing that one is acceptable because its what you do and one is not because its not what you do (and again, this is not negotiable, this is something that is almost entirely male centric and we both know it (you trying to argue otherwise is nothing more then an attempt at rationalizing your cogntive dissonance)), that is irrational and amoral. Consistency is necessary for a coherent world view.
See there you go with your assumptions again... You don't know me, cuz if you did... I always say it's not fair to men when women have the fake nails, the fake hair, the fake boobs, while wanting a real man... See know what you're talking about before you call someone a hypocrite... This was about ANYONE not being genuine... So just stop already 🤷🏼♀️
I never said you didn't say that, I stated you would likely not agree with that as its so common its practically ubiquitous with being a woman. I was merely pointing out that if one is to claim that learning how to talk to people is manipulative (its not) then actively altering your physical appearence in order to attract people is also manipulative so you must be consistent with that view. Never said you went one way or another, I simply suspected you would support makeup because almost all women do.
No you assumed, and no most women are not the same, that's another assumption... But weren't we done here 🤷🏼♀️I certainly am, you're too caught up in assuming to hear what someone is saying, so it's waste of time at this point 🤷🏼♀️
I applaud anyone who does work to improve themselves physically, mentally and emotionally. You do it for your own benefit, but it will obviously make you attractive to higher quality people. I've been there and done that. It's also an ongoing process.
However, if you have no interest in self improvement and choose to remain an ass hole while hiding it behind a facade, you suck. You're a phony. If you learn how to manipulate women just to get in their pants, you are a horrible person. It means that you see them as objects, as prey, and don't care if you hurt them.
Exactly!!
Hummm... I've never thought of that. I probably would feel like I was being "handled" in some way. Like the coach would be telling her what to do next or whatever. I don't think it would bother me TOO much.
Different situation but similar in some ways. I was dating a lady over 15 years ago and I was just DONE with the relationship. She was going to a therapist, and using different tactics to keep the relationship going when it really should have ended. Thankfully I got out of that situation but I felt a bit manipulated.
See yeah I'd feel like was it really their behavior from the heart or behavior they were told would work too land you, it would make me question their sincerity I think
Nope wouldn't care. At least they're serious about it 😊. That's 1000 times better than someone who doesn't look up from thier phone and always complains about being bored but has nothing interesting to contribute themselves or even tries to be interested in anything.
I feel like today if someone puts effirt inti something that's already above average 😂 kinda sad but true. One one hand we have more elite people than ever but also more people who don't even try.
I would just rather it be what they would do instead of something someone told them to do. Otherwise it's it really their try nature or "a front" you're falling for...
*true nature
Honestly I would be flattered that they liked me that much and thought I was that much out of their league that they went and got a dating coach lol. But I mean at the end of the day as long as they aren’t presenting themselves as someone they are not and not lying about who they are, where they work, what their values are, etc. I wouldn’t really care.
👍👍
First, that's a wonderful movie. Second, people try to get dating advice from here all the time. Getting advice isn't wrong. However, if that advice was causing the person I'm dating to be inauthentic, then I would be turned off. I guess it might not be so easy to know if they were being inauthentic though. That's a great question.
Thanks and you got it exactly, there's a difference between advice and "moves"just to ensure someone.. Be authentic be real be you... Better chance of having that real connection with the real person, their true self
Nope, I'd just feel like they needed a little help in the dating world, God knows I need a dating coach myself
But in the movie it was really him being himself she fell for, all the "dating advice" failed. That's the point... Be yourself not what you think someone wants you to be, cuz then it's not "real"
Being yourself is often quite challenging for people. I often help people do that but at the same time, everyone can learn how to better express themselves or put their best foot forward. For example, one of my clients, at my request, sent a picture of how he was dressed to go out. (This is a common thing I do for my clients). He was in nasty looking jeans that did not fit him at all, he had noticeable dandruff flakes on the shoulders of his shirt, and his tennis shoes looked like old yard shoes. That’s how he was prepared to go out to try to find a date on a Friday night. After we chatted for a bit he admitted that he didn’t really think it mattered but was open to what I had to say. We got him in a store and in some pants that fit that were somewhat dressier but not overdone, got him to use some dandruff shampoo, and he purchased some new shoes that weren’t tennis shoes (loafers in this case). We added a few other elements like a watch and nicer belt. One week later, he’s ready to go out. He started getting phone numbers and getting second and third dates and beyond. It’s tough for guys since all the pressure is on them to approach, start the conversation, make the first move, ask out, and a lot of women expect more than that as well while the woman sits there and feels the joy of being shown interest in (no offense ladies). My point is that a lot of guys need some help from someone who can help point them in the right direction and to put their best foot forward. I think women are served as well since I know you like when a man is well put together. I also help women but that’s usually more during the relationship or after a breakup. Bottom line, I respectfully disagree with the notion that all one has to do is “be yourself.” After thousands of cases I’d say that most people would benefit from an experienced opinion to fine tune some things. It’s no more manipulation than asking someone’s opinion on an outfit or restaurant selection.
@MyExBackCoach now it's my turn to respectfully disagree. People shouldn't HAVE to change the way they dress or look to be with someone, because if that's not how they like to dress, and only dress that way till they land the girl and then go back to their regular style/ways that'll cause friction cuz she'll be expecting date guy but they wasn't who he really was. that wouldn't work for me for a guy to laugh at my jokes cuz that's what he was coached to do 🤷🏼♀️ And the whole thing with coaching someone is then you're presuming all women are looking for the same things in a man and they're not. And even in the movie, that sparked this question, the guy got the woman to fall in love with him NOT following the advice of the date coach, but by being himself... Coaching people in how to improve themselves for self improvement is one thing, but as a way to get a relationship to me is different. You can buy all the fancy clothes but that isn't what they're going to fall in love with.
Brainsbeforebeauty, thanks for your opinion. Let's keep in mind that Hitch was a movie. It wasn't a documentary or biography. It was a film script. Make believe.
Most of the people I coach make long term improvements and I have never told anyone to laugh at someone's jokes just for the sake of doing it. In fact, I usually tell people that if they feel like laughing, laugh, if they don't, be polite and smile. Nobody likes a fake. I don't coach people to be fake. I help people to improve and be the best version of themselves and that is what is most attractive.
The guy in question appreciated the direction and dresses more like he respects himself, has his dandruff under control and many other positive things. He also has a girlfriend. Improving oneself is not something that is fake or a show. We can all find areas to improve in.
And though it's popular to say that everyone is looking for something different, that's a bit of a cliche'. After 20 years and thousands of clients and cases to observe I can tell you that there are certain standards that most people expect and that works to help get past the "stranger stage" to where two people can share facts and feelings of their life and get to know each other and where both want to move forward. Attraction has 3 areas - physical, intellectual, and emotional. To deny that is to deny our very nature. There have been legitimate scientific research projects on these things and I have thousands of cases to observe.
@MyExBackCoach yes I do get it's just a movie... I also see the replies on this post from real people, and most of the females replies are that it would feel like they were being played...🤷🏼♀️ And maybe because there's already so many men that will say whatever they think they have to without being coached to do so... A dating/relationship coach should know that any relationship built on falseness instead of the real deal won't last long term...
3B there's a good reason guys say whatever they think she wants to hear. Because if they didn't they'd be dead in the water with ANY woman before they began. I don't think there's anything with getting some coaching ( in a sense this site is partly that) my problem is most dating advice sites are just charlatans preying on some poor fellows desperation.
@ChiTown33 so are dating coaches except they doing it for money
Nah, I’d probably feel complemented! I mean if someone went to THAT much effort... But then again, I might feel that it was the “coach” that I fell for, since it was HIS words, ideas, and dating choices that I fell for!
😂😂 seriously that the point, you're not feeling for the "person" you falling for the "act'
Brains, were the laughing emojis meant to show that you agreed with me, or that you were laughing at my opinion?
But then again, I might feel that it was the “coach” that I fell for, that's what made me laugh, and my reply showed I agreed with you
Ok, my bad. For some reason I thought it was vague... I have no idea why, it seems clear to me now! Maybe I was just over tired at that time?
It's all good 🙂
No. I would not. She may need extra help. He may need extra help. It would be better if they had tried on their own. Since they felt they needed help I believe it's ok. It all depends on their motif. Peoples are more likeable and lovable when they are genuine and not trained recently.
"Peoples are more likeable and lovable when they are genuine and not trained recently."
But that's exactly my point... It's the feeling like they were taught it trained to behave that way instead of it being their natural selves. How can you know, love the real person if they're doing what someone told them to to get you to like them? That's how people wind up with people they're not really suited for in my opinion
I would be not sure about who is suited for whomever? I would want them to be trained by good coach rather then some so called friend who do not have his her life together. How smart it is to get financial advice from person who lives on street?
I like what this mandy hale said 🙂
Miss brains muffins is busy watching movies and creating scenarios where she see's herself in the movie 😂😂
Than she will appear here asking the people for reviews about a movie she watched, i'll call the paramount studios cause they need to pay miss brains a fortune for making so much commercials about their movies 😁
I don't see myself in the movies... But don't watching movies ever make you ponder anything? And there is people that user dating coaches, or "moves" to get someone interested instead of just being themselves.. Shouldn't worry about being seen as attractive to many, should just want to be seen that way by one... Quality over quantity... Otherwise that's just wanting to be a player 🤷🏼♀️
Don't hate the player, hate the game! 😜
And now:
Ladiiiiiiiiiieess & gentlemen, please welcome the one and only, the queen and the creator of all naughty games! Miiiiissssss braaaaaiinnsss MUFFINS...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f9dSuwo0D7g
Yeah, well I don't play games with people's hearts or minds or lives like other people do 🤷🏼♀️
I know miss brains muffins, you don't need to tell me these things about you cause i know you well...
Let the naughty boad game begins or i'll bite your spongy forehead 😬
I can see how it would by manipulative, but no one person is going to remember everything that another would say or do. If I went to a coach I'd expect them to ask what's my goals and hobbies etc and make a profile that's a few words changed that matches me kinda like what happens when you get you cv checked or go to mock interviews if the guy was on the phone to the coach the whole time then yh that's too much but personalised approach, dress etc would be no different than anything else
Real world dating coaches are not the same as hitch. They don't teach you how to land a girl. They teach you how to be your best self, and then project that best self, in order to become more attractive.
Or at least, that's how the good ones do it.
I don't see a dating coach as any different than a therapist. Except that the dating coach is just more specific.
👍👍👍
I'd honestly feel offended.
If I guy is taking advice on how to win ME over
from another guy who's giving advice based on
what works with OTHER WOMEN and not ME,
then that just shows this guy is too narrow-minded for me.
EXACTLY!!!
That's an excellent point.
At least they spend their time, money and effort to woo you.
Imagined you fell for some douche who didn't even tried. He was like "wanna bang?" and you hopped into his car because he looked good?
It's like training for an interview or a job or whatever you need to do. You train, you try and you might fail but you try your best. What's important is that you put effort and training into it. There is no shame in asking for help or hiring someone to train you so you can get better.
I think it would make me laugh at first and then consider who they truly are. I wouldn’t stop dating them if I liked them, but I would want them to date me using their own brain on how to make a relationship work. If they need constant guidance then it’s not going to work out.
Unless she did something to hurt me, screw me over, or manipulate me in a way to my detriment, then no I wouldn't feel bad or handled.
Because all coaching would do is show her how to best carry herself. She still has to play the part and do the work. Besides a girl with coaching has just as much a shot as a girl without in terms of getting into a relationship. Assuming certain traits are met
That would feel as if they presented themselves as someone they’re not just to get me fall for them. That’s even worse than guys acting nice just to sleep with you. Ew.
See that's how I would see it as well
hmm well in my case im a awkward guy, can't dance for shit usually and all in all not a smooth fella😂
so if i go to a "dating coach" who teaches me few dance moves that are easy and make me look better on the dance floor, teaches me proper etiquette and how to act in a fancier restaurant how to best bring my positives on the first date what kind of clothes look best on me etc how is that wrong?
basically no I would not mind (if she is pretending to be something she is not, then that is not good)
Not at all. In fact, I've been in several situations where a group of girls worked to get me together with one of their friends. They totally manipulated the situation to make it happen, but what did it harm? I got to enjoy the social interaction and being the center of attention, which is great when it's positive.
I think dating coaches or PUA are trash. They don’t help yoh with long lasting relationships, only hookups. Of you want something long lasting gontkk on a marriage counselor- they every help couple who aren’t married but are together long term.
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I am so sorry about the misspelled words. I think I need a new phone. Just making the time to get one.
Don't be sorry, I do it all the time myself lol I even sent penis butter instead of peanut butter once 🤦🤦 so you good 🤣
I wouldn't feel anything, I wouldn't care, lots of people utilize it in some capacity whether it's dating coaches, websites like this or just articles they find online.
Not everyone is born with that kind of confidence or social skills necessary sometimes they need a little help. There is nothing wrong with that.
Absolutely. Connection with someone isn't supposed to be a calculated system, it makes the target into a number on a spreadsheet. And then cue the trust issues with people using you, no way.
See, now that's how I'd see it.. So far me and you the only ones that see it that way..
That makes me like 10x more afraid of dating lol... I don't understand the perk behind picking up someone you think is attractive by.. well basically manipulating them into liking you back... It directly turns that person into an object or prey, instead of a person you just genuinely enjoy time with
See EXACTLY!! And I so hear you, dating has become a game... Finding someone has become like ordering take out at a fast food place... Relationships have become a revolving door, first hint of trouble, egg trade em in for a new model or, next... And then you add in the hook up, friends with benefits culture, and yeah... No thanks... Why have stayed single since my hubby passed 7 years ago
Absolutely, it's mental how many people I find just in my DMs using the same things all the time to try and get me interested, let alone the disgusting pictures of things built up for miles. Everyone seems to think they can access anything they want, any person they want, as if they're entitled to someone just because they want them. I've seen it happen to so many of my best mates and they've all come back to me saying it didn't work out.. At this point there isn't any need to wonder why.
And I'm sorry for your partner passing, it makes sense why you'd want to stay away from dating after experiencing that
The first few years it was cuz I wasn't/wouldn't a been ready... Now it's cuz of how F'd up people are these days
I can understand that, takes time to heal
But yeah people are really fucked up more than ever... Plus anything anyone ever wants anymore is sex and that's just not it XD
Right again!!! I mean sex is good and important to be sexually compatible, but they can't be ALL there is, it had to be about more than just that
Exactly, there really has to be more people who think like this or I don't know how we're going to remain sane XD
Well... I never said I was sane 🤪🤪🤪
https://youtu.be/zAlNrtcPCLw
That is legitimately what I had in mind when writing 21st Century Liability XD
I would be impressed by their rational approach to mate selection.
During my 20s and 30s I read a lot of books about psychology and communication. They helped, because I had been really bad with women.
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I won't feel handled but i would feel as if he was being fake just to get to me. I mean go check out relationship memes. That's the real truth
Lol right
Not something I would care about a lot of learning how to date is seen as taboo if I fell for her then past that we would be good
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I’d rather she just be herself, no matter how “clumsy” she might be, but it would also show she really was putting effort into it and really wanted it.
Yeah but then wouldn't what she does feel contrived, not real? I don't want someone to do something because that's what someone told them would work, I want them to do it because that's how they were feeling or how I made them feel
I guess 🤷🏼♀️
I'd find it hilarious and unnecessary. It really doesn't take much to empress me. Just be nice that's more than most people can handle these days.
Right! And sad but true
Yes, the whole point of dating is to learn about the real person not to see how well he's been trained
Right! Well said
I got no problem with people needing help and encouragement to find a partner. I think it’s natural, and if people are stupid enough to fall for Jedi mind tricks, we’ll thats their fault. So dudes just need to respect women more that’s all.
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I might be a bit annoyed but I wouldn't let it bother me for that long, and wouldn't change the relationship, as long as she agreed to start being herself.
Its no different from how Steve Harvey did Think Like a Man for women. I wouldn't be offended. Its just tips given to each sex that may or may not work.
I feel like things like that aren't to be looked up at though, I mean, the whole thing about it is generalising an entire gender so much that it turns it into a game, rather than an organic connection. Y'know?
@strawberrylipstick notice in Hitch and Think Like a Man, the tips made them all act nervous but when they saw what was/wasn't working, it made them act as themselves more. It worked out for the most part. Its like how i like corny men. If you tell me a joke to TRY to be corny, it can be a turnoff but the effort makes me like them cause at least i kmow they TRIED to make me Laugh. Then after that they usually become more of themselves and stops being a TRY HARD
i would simply laugh... Q - Q that would be HELARIOUS... no one gotta work that hard to get me... as long as she have the right traits like @joygirl
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@LEADFOOTboi Hehe 🤗
@Brainsbeforebeauty It is not what you think. 😭
Wow nice question! It never crossed my mind... but now i think about it... i would feel tricked... haha
Right
To enhance your skill i think it a must sorry to say but women r minpulitive they need that kind of skill to be in control , & if a guy go to a trainer to get u thats means he care about u a lot & if u did respond to those tactics u wouldt even notice him but at the end the secret should not be uncoverd it hurt but its true.
If I couldn't notice that my date was stumbling through our dinner like a poor actor continually checking the script to remember their lines, then I deserve to be hoodwinked by them.
I didn't know a dating coach was a real thing. Seems sad that people need that kind of help.
I agree
Nah, but i also think they don't know shit tbh.
Most of them be generalizing the opposite gender and teach you that u have 2 be a certain way to land someone of the opposite sex.
It should be flattering, but probably would not feel that way when you found out.
Well no, cuz it would feel like it was contrived, not real
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I would be amazed if the advice of a "love coach" is working. I see this kind of coach earlier as dream sellers, so if it really worked I would be surprised lol
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“Land” me? Like a trophy fish? I’d think it damn funny that they would go to such extremes.
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I trust my senses enough to see the person for who she is. If she happened to suck at dating y i can understand if she wanted some guidance with that. I mean i don't think I can be fooled into liking someone terrible. So i don't see the problem.
Nope, I'd be a little flattered. Like who needs to hire a dating coach to ask out the world's ugliest guy?
I'm sure you're not the world's ugliest guy
My succession rate with females says otherwise and so does the amount of people in my entire life who have called me ugly.
Maybe you're just around the wrong people
Yea and that is part of the reason I am alone in life.
It wound not be the persons true character. All based on lies and honesty is my number 1 priority. She would be sent packing.
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No I see it like most everybody gets some dating advise here and there. They should be flattered as I would be. I never seen the movie you're talking about though
Not at all, I'd be flattered they went to so much effort,,,
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Well, you ladies can be assured that I do NOT use a dating coach!
(But that's probably obvious.)
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Lol.
If the person actually learnt something from the coach and implements it when we’re dating then I’d be cool with it.
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Yes, I would. It would feel like there was some level of manipulation in all interactions that lead to dating.
See, that's how I would feel as well, it would feel fake and not real... And that's how people wind up with people they're not real a good match for, cuz they fell for the fake, not the real
Doesn't matter. If she impressed me, I'm happy. And it ain't hard. NO, NO, NO, I DO NOT WANT HER MONEY!
If not or she plays games (mind games, dating games), I'll terminate everything.
I don't see any issue here. There is no one way to meet somebody and if it's a good somebody, who cares how they got there so long as they are there? Sounds like wins all around to me.
If it works then 🤷🏾♂️ I’d be cool if a girl did that to me
Nope. So long as it’s the right person. Does anything else matter really?
Why is this a problem?
I wouldn't be bothered by it at all.
I think I would be flattered that they thought I was worth it.
Same.
Everyone has a persona they adapt at the beginning of the dating stage. Regardless of whether they built it around a "coach" or not. So, no.
If they could break my defenses, they deserve a Nobel.
👍👍👍I just don't get online relationships where year in and still haven't met in person but think they're in love...🤷🏼♀️
Oops I thought this was different post of mine lololol scratch other reply...
To the correct reply, I would just prefer someone be themselves, even if they mess up or are shy at first, cuz at least it would feel more real, less contrived
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