I feel like it truly depends on how it plays out and is discovered.
So in this instance let's say that two women who are friends both found guys that received training from a dating coach or a PUA like Hitch in the movie here. Say they found out and like you say here are mad because you don't know if they are really who they say they are and truly just some developed and silver tongued guys. The question is how consistent were they with their behavior leading up to that discovery?
People can only hide themselves for so long if they are putting on an act. Eventually it falls apart and you see them for who they are. It takes about 90 days to see someone's true personality, the 3 month probation period if you will. Authenticity will be displayed by that point over a surface level persona.
Now if inconsistency was present for a while leading up to that discovery, then yeah, it could be easy to be mad because it feels cheap and a low way to win someone over by misplaced desire and goals.
I referenced dating coaches and talked to a couple of them and what I did was use their lessons on how a good relationship looks like and forms and went to work on myself and talk to women with no desired outcome. I grew more familiar with what I liked and disliked with conversation and dates that I went on and used that to become more confident and it eventually led me to the woman who is now my girlfriend. Going on four months here and she is the best woman I have ever been with. Not just personality wise, but emotionally and physically as well.
We know each other's patterns, personalities, communication styles and overall dreams and goals. Finding someone that you can be vulnerable like that with is great and I wouldn't change it for the world.
Being a relationship/dating coach myself it comes from where the coach places their own integrity.
There are some who only look to tricks and manipulative practices. Others only work in theory. Then there a few, like myself, who work with the person to show their true selves.
No tricks, no magic potions, no manipulative practices. Most of what is shown are things that people do not even think about. Such as having that inner voice match the outer voice. Having what you say match what the body language is saying.
When these don't match up the person we coach doesn't appear interesting or unsure of themselves to the person they are talking to.
Another common problem we see is attracting the wrong people. Things like dead end relationships, non-committal people, or abusers. So, we help in showing how to change that by demonstrating the characteristics the person wants to show.
Yes, there are bull shit artists out there. By all means be angry if that is what they learned and the person is not authentic. But, if the person is authentic and just needed help in showing that it's not something I could fault them for.
A lot of what we show is not taught by society anymore. Its assumed people will figure it out, eventually. The results are divorce rates at or near 50%, people calling themselves incels, and MGTOW'S.
I will feel played on. It was all a LIE just to win me? I can never respect that. Just be honest.
What are you lying for? A wolf in a sheep's clothing, huh.
Someone with good and genuine intentions WILL NEVER do any TRICKS.
These manipulations are mostly done by those who are desperate and waiting to bang bang.
Manipulated. Condescended. Used.
And what would be the point? If I wasn’t interested in him in the first place then what’s the point in fake it to get some interest for a little while? Manipulations can never last long term so ultimately it’s a waste of both our time.
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People can get advice from a coach, a book, a friend... in the end if you are getting better with communicating, flirting, etc then that is all that matters.
No. There are a lot of women that NEED dating advice.🤣
Id say MOST MEN need dating advice.
Its not being handled, its being the best version of yourself. Its etiquette. 👍🏾❤
If they were somebody I did not like I would be angry but if it was somebody I liked, I would feel flattered or honoured that they went through all that trouble to get me.
As a dating coach myself, I've been asked similar questions in interviews and, in fact, had a client ask me yesterday what to say if his girlfriend found out that he had talked to me about some things related to them and that he was getting my advice when he first started dating her.
My answer to him was that if she somehow found out and asked about it to tell her that she meant so much to him that he wanted to make sure he was seeing things clearly and that he wanted a neutral third party to help him think things through.
Especially when someone has had a lot of relationships to fail and they really care about someone and don't want to lose them too, it makes sense. You want to be better in relationships and to improve. Or for those who seek a dating coach for help in the early stages of the relationship - as in shortly after the two meet - similar concerns are at play and someone who looks into these things and has a lot of observational experience can be helpful to at least allow some people to improve the way they might come across since it's difficult to see yourself through the eyes of others.
That being said, it's not information that I suggest my clients volunteer. However, for those who see it as weird or fake, consider how many times you might have gone online to ask about a romantic interest's behavior or how to be more attractive. It's fairly common. Getting a dating coach is just more of a personalized approach to it.
If that is how you feel then by extension you have to feel that way about makeup, heels, figure hugging and accenting clothing, doing up your hair,, push up bra's, going to the gym to keep your figure/stay slim etc. Funny how women feel this way about men learning how to have social interactions that won't freak women out and allow them to communicate better, but when its them actively altering their looks to land a man that is acceptable.
These men are learning social interactions, things that women respond to, no different then women doing the same thing to men. The idea that your going to demand that a man not know how to interact with women and stay single for the rest of his life is really rather twisted when you actually think about it. I mean because he wasn't gifted with social grace he now has to stay single for the rest of his life? Why would any one demand that of anyone? Again, thats like saying that because a woman is fat she doesn't have the right to try to get fit because it will "trick" a man into wanting her because she is hiding the fact that she use to be fat and could become fat again later, its a stupid idea and its not fair to anyone in that situation.
As long as the man is not lying about who he is, their is nothing wrong with learning social skills. Women are always talking shit about men who don't know how to approach men (they are creepy or what have you) but the moment a man sets out to improve his social skills so women don't see him as creepy he is a manipulative asshole? Again, that is a twisted world view.
I applaud anyone who does work to improve themselves physically, mentally and emotionally. You do it for your own benefit, but it will obviously make you attractive to higher quality people. I've been there and done that. It's also an ongoing process.
However, if you have no interest in self improvement and choose to remain an ass hole while hiding it behind a facade, you suck. You're a phony. If you learn how to manipulate women just to get in their pants, you are a horrible person. It means that you see them as objects, as prey, and don't care if you hurt them.
Hummm... I've never thought of that. I probably would feel like I was being "handled" in some way. Like the coach would be telling her what to do next or whatever. I don't think it would bother me TOO much.
Different situation but similar in some ways. I was dating a lady over 15 years ago and I was just DONE with the relationship. She was going to a therapist, and using different tactics to keep the relationship going when it really should have ended. Thankfully I got out of that situation but I felt a bit manipulated.
Nope wouldn't care. At least they're serious about it 😊. That's 1000 times better than someone who doesn't look up from thier phone and always complains about being bored but has nothing interesting to contribute themselves or even tries to be interested in anything.
I feel like today if someone puts effirt inti something that's already above average 😂 kinda sad but true. One one hand we have more elite people than ever but also more people who don't even try.
Honestly I would be flattered that they liked me that much and thought I was that much out of their league that they went and got a dating coach lol. But I mean at the end of the day as long as they aren’t presenting themselves as someone they are not and not lying about who they are, where they work, what their values are, etc. I wouldn’t really care.
First, that's a wonderful movie. Second, people try to get dating advice from here all the time. Getting advice isn't wrong. However, if that advice was causing the person I'm dating to be inauthentic, then I would be turned off. I guess it might not be so easy to know if they were being inauthentic though. That's a great question.
Nope, I'd just feel like they needed a little help in the dating world, God knows I need a dating coach myself
Nah, I’d probably feel complemented! I mean if someone went to THAT much effort... But then again, I might feel that it was the “coach” that I fell for, since it was HIS words, ideas, and dating choices that I fell for!
I like what this mandy hale said 🙂
Miss brains muffins is busy watching movies and creating scenarios where she see's herself in the movie 😂😂
Than she will appear here asking the people for reviews about a movie she watched, i'll call the paramount studios cause they need to pay miss brains a fortune for making so much commercials about their movies 😁
I can see how it would by manipulative, but no one person is going to remember everything that another would say or do. If I went to a coach I'd expect them to ask what's my goals and hobbies etc and make a profile that's a few words changed that matches me kinda like what happens when you get you cv checked or go to mock interviews if the guy was on the phone to the coach the whole time then yh that's too much but personalised approach, dress etc would be no different than anything else
Real world dating coaches are not the same as hitch. They don't teach you how to land a girl. They teach you how to be your best self, and then project that best self, in order to become more attractive.
Or at least, that's how the good ones do it.
I don't see a dating coach as any different than a therapist. Except that the dating coach is just more specific.
I'd honestly feel offended.
If I guy is taking advice on how to win ME over
from another guy who's giving advice based on
what works with OTHER WOMEN and not ME,
then that just shows this guy is too narrow-minded for me.
No. I would not. She may need extra help. He may need extra help. It would be better if they had tried on their own. Since they felt they needed help I believe it's ok. It all depends on their motif. Peoples are more likeable and lovable when they are genuine and not trained recently.
At least they spend their time, money and effort to woo you.
Imagined you fell for some douche who didn't even tried. He was like "wanna bang?" and you hopped into his car because he looked good?
It's like training for an interview or a job or whatever you need to do. You train, you try and you might fail but you try your best. What's important is that you put effort and training into it. There is no shame in asking for help or hiring someone to train you so you can get better.
I think it would make me laugh at first and then consider who they truly are. I wouldn’t stop dating them if I liked them, but I would want them to date me using their own brain on how to make a relationship work. If they need constant guidance then it’s not going to work out.
Unless she did something to hurt me, screw me over, or manipulate me in a way to my detriment, then no I wouldn't feel bad or handled.
Because all coaching would do is show her how to best carry herself. She still has to play the part and do the work. Besides a girl with coaching has just as much a shot as a girl without in terms of getting into a relationship. Assuming certain traits are met
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