Gay/lesbians/bi, when did you first feel like you were?

[lightbulb27]

at what stage of life did you feel like you were attracted? I'm fascinated how this works.

Elementary

Jr high

high school

college or after

before elementary

other

[WonderBell99]

I’m neither bi nor lesbian, but I have 4 friends, out of those, 3 are a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Let’s call them: Amy, Belinda, Carys and Dorothy. Amy is straight, Belinda is bisexual, Carys is aroace (asexual) and Dorothy is lesbian. Dorothy came out to me last year and Belinda & Carys came out to me this year.

I asked Belinda when she figured out she was bisexual. She said: “I’ve only ever liked girls but I’m not exposed to guys much. The idea of falling in love with a woman is appealing. I have only ever found (fictional) men objectively hot. I’m leaning towards bi/pan.” She came to terms with it when she was in high school, freshman year.

Carys is aroace. She is not sexually attracted to anyone, regardless of their gender. She said she had always questioned her sexuality, and always thought she was bi, but then figured out that she was asexual when she was a sophomore in high school. Carys is a year older than me. She is 18, going to be 19 soon.

Dorothy always thought she was bisexual. She had always been attracted to women, but not as much towards men. This year, she figured she was a lesbian. She had been questioning her sexuality since middle school. She will be 18 in October.

None of them have come out to their parents yet, because the country I live in is extremely conservative and same sex marriage is not recognized by the law.

[WonderBell99]

by the way these are not their real names. I have changed their names to protect their privacy.

[lightbulb27]

Thank you for sharing your insights.
I honestly find it... mind blowing. 1/5 is straight... assuming you are.
I don't mean to say "something is wrong with your friends", but I will say that... something is wrong in this world. I suspect we've polluted the hormonal and social environment so much people are confused. Doesn't take much to damage a human. Really needs examined, but it may be intentional by govt to control population. Easiest choice they have.
I wish you and your friends well.

[WonderBell99]

No, 2 of us are straight (I’m straight as well). *Amy* and myself and *Belinda* is bisexual, she’s into men too, but she prefers women more.

I beg to differ. I think many people are coming to terms with the fact that they do not need to please their family or parents to be happy.

[WonderBell99]

Ooos, I meant to say: “*Amy* and myself are straight and Belinda is bisexual”

[lightbulb27]

I'd be very curious to see history of humanity around this as well as in various cultures today. Like is this in the amazon tribes, okinawa? Places that have less pollution. I don't know. There was very little of this when I was your age, a little, certainly wasn't accepted or promoted so maybe existed in the shadows. But now it's like "the thing". It's a challenge as I see the teens here faced with questions they don't understand... and easily impressioned.

None of us would be here without a male/female parent... it's the only way to reproduce... caveat test tubs and engineering. It's written about in the Bible, so been around long time, surprised at the prevelence.

[lightbulb27]

another question... and you all get along as friends and doesn't "corrupt" your friendships, so far? That's another factor in social circles.. e. g. like if your "girl" friends start with relationships, does that get odd or is it normal since it's all in the open? This is complexity I did not have to deal with.

[WonderBell99]

Even same sex couples can reproduce though, not through sexual intercourse, but there’s always IVF and surrogacy, so I don’t think loving or marrying someone from the same sex will pose a threat to the existence of humanity. There’s also adoption.

[WonderBell99]

Why would their sexual orientation corrupt our friendship? There’s no reason.. we don’t judge each other by our sexual orientation and we never judge each other based on anything.. we’re all a bunch of goofballs who became friends, a group of 4 (Carys is a year older than us, she’s not a part of our friend group. My friends know of her, but they don’t “know” her.) I never had a problem with her either.

Why would I find it odd? I’d be very happy for them. However, I would ensure that the person they’re dating is a good person who would take care of them.. just like I’d do for Amy (she’s straight). They’d do the same for me.

It’s just like having heterosexual friends. Nothing changes

[lightbulb27]

Right..."engineering" opened up possibilities. High school was hard enough emotionally/socially on me. I can't imagine the challenge many face now. Thank you for sharing!

[WonderBell99]

Well, middle school was terrible for me. Got bullied a lot. I got friends (these 4) in high school. Im sorry that high school was hard on you. Hope college was much better

[lightbulb27]

Curious as I've seen that around my step teen. She brings home "such and such is bi", social pressures... I wonder if I'm bi? Kids be pressured to fit in somewhere. We had to intervene in that. She's impressionable, some kids are. If people are confident in themselves, it helps. Not everyone is, most people are learning at that age and figuring things out... at least I was... and got a lot to learn. Girls talk, backstab, there's no doubt that dating causes social changes or can influence... e. g. girl/guy start dating they distance from friends. ... maybe it's worse with a bunch of straight girls competing for guys. Just seems complex knowing what's what. Social dynamics. I'm out of my pay grade for sure...
If it works well, fantastic, glad for you all. It makes my head spin. I was around a group of 3 gay guys (not long ago) and was all fine, but it was weird too a little. Like whom is whose boyfriend, who likes who, etc.. ugh... I didn't need that, it was work.

[lightbulb27]

so you are straight right? Bullying bad news emotionally. I wish they taught kids more about emotional development.
Thank you, HS was awful, couldn't wait to get out... but that was my problem not other people. College was fantastic for me! Heads down and very successful!.. not a since date, but didn't care too much. it's what you make it.

[WonderBell99]

Yep. I am

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Ok, so... It's weird for me.

I "came out" to myself and my important people when I was 27.

But with reflection I was attracted to women from elementary school. I was just raised Roman Catholic by a homophobic family, so I thought (in an attempt to protect myself) that everyone must feel the same as I did. Women are pretty and nice, and of course you'd be attracted to that.

After my first long term relationship, I caught myself looking at more and more women in porn and realized "omg I'm bi".

Now I'm trying to explore my sexuality a little more and am only looking to date women. It's strange, but it feels really good. I'm finally in a stage in my life where I'm truly safe to be who I am.

[SecretsofKB]

Lesbian here! So I think I knew for sure when I was in middle school. I never thought about it much until then.

I didn't come out until I was in high school though.

[humanearth]

I love women, but will fuck any gender. I was between the age of 25 and 30. I was so drunk back in them days. It was hard to catch me sober.

Well of those many parties, I ended up passing out and two guys were doing sexual acts to me. When I was passed out cold.

I started to wake and one of the held me down. While the other finished himself off.

When done, they just left. I still so drunk that I couldn't even stand up. To go after them or anything. I just laid their and fell back to sleep.

The party was over and it was morning, everyone was sleeping. I woke up the next morning, thinking I just had a sick twisted sex dream. But I couldn't explain why I was almost totally naked.

I don't remember much of that day. Till my friends started telling me stories about that night.

Let's just say, I must have been secretly bisexual my whole life and didn't know it.

All I felt was shame, embarrassment and guilty.

It took my wife to notice that I was bisexual and she got me to feel normal about my sexual desires.

Still will take a woman over a man, but have no issue having sexual fun with a man.

I hope that explains what I'm trying to say.

To my GAG friends that read this. Of fucking well, the cats out of the bag now.

[lightbulb27]

Thats called rape and sounds more like trauma controlling your thoughts but don’t know the feelings you had before that. That be normal for many. Heard similar story from a female. It’s easier to just accept what the sub conscious program now says rather than reform it. You said shame… which isn’t love. Does that make sense?

[humanearth]

I don't know, what its called. But yeah, it is called rape. But in the same breath, from what I did remembered. I did enjoyed parts of it.

[Smashingdoozy]

I had a little crush on my next door neighbor. One time we were like 5 or 6, and we were playing "mommy's and daddy's" I was the daddy. We lined some chairs up and I pretended to drive my lovely wife and daughter to school and work. When I dropped my wife off at work I went to give her a pretend air peck on the cheek but I accidentally kissed her cheek for real. Oh the tingles and the butterflies.

I didn't realize then. I was always obsessed with boys because I was "supposed to be". Wasn't till about age 13 where I realized I actually like girls too. Was about the time where I was drunkenly making out with a friend on a couch, it all started to click into place.

[Anonymous]

It's the same for basically every step parent. Your not the biological parent and you didn't choose to adopt the child to become its legal guardian so the law is clear.
Birth certificates should only have the biological parents on it anyway.
I think this woman is experiencing what a lot of step fathers and fathers come to think of it go through as a lot of women can be absolutely ruthless and without mercy when it comes to the end of relationship. Many women will take control of the child, and do their best to remove the father or step father from the child's life as much as possible so they can move on, hurt the father and make it easy for her to slot in another step father in their place.
I am surprised at this though. Probably comes down to alimony, splitting assests and child support.

[Anonymous]

Been dropping obvious hints about it since I was 11, yet still my parents never figured it out until I just told them when I was 14 or 15. 14 is when I first started getting crushes, on almost exclusively ladies. 15 is when I started feeling any physical attraction at all, almost exclusively towards ladies. Therefore, I concluded, I'm almost exclusively into ladies.

[FunkyMonkee]

I've always felt like a lesbian!

[prosaic1]

There's a woman inside of me. But, I wouldn't know it because I'm a Butch lesbian.

[FunkyMonkee]

@prosaic1 Exactly! And, how would I know? I always felt safer on a girl's bike, for instance! Does it make sense to YOU that the one with the balls gets the one with the bar?

[lightbulb27]

@FunkyMonkee :) It's there to teach us a lesson I guess...

[FunkyMonkee]

Awfully painful lesson, whatever it is!