"I'm not handsome enough for you" "I'm not your type" "I don't deserve you" ?

[miadee]

If a guy says after sex "I'm not your type" "I'm not handsome enough for you" "I don't deserve you"

Polite way to reject or insecurity?

[Effably]

Insecurity and foolishness really. Guilt maybe? It is a weird moment to drop that one, but sex does tend to make us guys a little odd for a short while. What with the whole hormone shifts, muddled mind right into state of clarity and all.

I have used the same one when younger and insecure. Never after sex though. I stopped after someone did it to me once and I had to explain to the gal that if she sincerely believes I am so very amazing then she should also trust me to make up my own mind like any big boy would. And if I say I want her, I want her. Not up to her to decide if I think she's cooler than a cucumber or not.

And well, that is more or less my advice to you. Make it clear you heard him but that he doesn't get to decide how much he means to you. If you say it is good, it is good.

[miadee]

It feels like I got rejected and being used.

[Effably]

You can always shoot him a message about when to hang out next time. If he weasels out despite you expressing he is good enough then yes, that is rejection.

But you know, for all we know he might just be embarassed about his performance or something.

[miadee]

That night we snuggled and went to sleep together cause he also wanted morning sex. As soon as he fell asleep, I left his apartment. He texted when he woke up "Where'd you go? Baby?" I walked away in silence cause I felt like I got used/kindly rejected/played.

[Effably]

That is good. So you have his number. Just tell him how you felt. Let him explain it. It might be scary but at least you will know.

[miadee]

Why it van be quilt?

[Effably]

If there has been a level of dishonesty or alike it would be easier to move the reason into something else instead. Say he lied about being the world's best nose. He isn't. Him not being good enough (because he is a crappy liar) is an honest way of ending things without admitting anything.

Guilt is a possibility. Insecurity most likely.

[miadee]

I see. But that night he called me and wanted to hang out. Maybe to use me for last time. He also said "probably you had better sex than this, I know I'm not the best"
When I told him being insecure, he said "No I'm not insecure" He might being just sarcastic jerk. He has maybe "It's not you, it's me" kinda attitude... I really don't get it.

[Effably]

I mean if the dude is practically apologizing for being bad in bed... is he? Like was it very quick? Did you also get to finish?

If you have a guy who basically told you he is insecure then insecurity should be the go-to reason. If you like him you can always tell him you two can practice until its the best you'll ever have.

[miadee]

He lost erection. But he wanted to keep fucking all night.

[Effably]

Well there you go. Actually, barring medical conditions and aging and such, not maintaining an erection is basically an in-your-head thing.

First few times I was with a girl I was so nervous I never got more than a semi. It was in other words a physical manifestation of my insecurities.

Again. He mostly seems insecure to me. You have some reasons as to why he might be. Usually the obvious answer is the right answer. Not always, but it is where I'd start.

[miadee]

Thank you so much for your help. I was thinking he doesn't feel the chemistry between us, that's why he keeps losing his erection, and makes " I don't deserve you" talk, just to kindly break up with me. I am insecure too.

[Leonharted]

After sex? I'd say imposter syndrome. Easy way to tell is to say that you're a better judge of what you like than him.

[miadee]

It feels like I got rejected.

[Leonharted]

If he didn't find you attractive, then he wouldn't have had sex with you.

[miadee]

He might used me?

[Leonharted]

I stand by what I said. If he found you ugly, he wouldn't have had sex with you.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Rejection, though it's pretty stupid to fuck a person and then reject them after, so when they say they aren't good enough, they aren't wrong...

[miadee]

He also wanted morning sex after said those things. I felt being used.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Thats because you were.

[miadee]

He told me I'm super hot and he's into me but I'm not sure if he was just tryna being convincing.

[TheSpaceGnome]

That pretty much means nothing.

Porn has hot women, lots of them, and I love none of them.

[Yourfriend2021]

I don't think it's rejection, he might feel insecure.

[TheBootyChest]

Insecurity for sure. Needing some reassurance.