Do I have a right to be annoyed and how can I help my nerves?

[skyeee01]

So my boyfriend has a close friend and she is an ex. I have met her before and she comes across as lovely but i can't get over how close they are

I have never doubted his feelings for me and he is a very supportive boyfriend but they talk 24/7 and she calls him all the time. She has recently broken up with her boyfriend and she now won't not talk to mine. She has all of a sudden become 2nd in his best friends list and she wasn't on it the other week. He puts down our face time calls sometimes to pick hers up because she is normally "crying". I have spoken to him and told him it makes me uncomfortable and i find it a bit weird. I do not want to ruin their friendship as i know deep down he just sees her as a friend and he has said to me if it come to it he would block her if it made me feel happy, i think that would just make me feel horribly guilty for ruining their friendship. The first time i met her she wouldn't stop telling me how much she loved him and how nice he is this n that, it was all a bit weird but she was so nice i kind of didn't think anything of it, i now feel i was being very naive.
Anyways we went out in our friend group on Friday and out she pops from somewhere, all night she kept coming up to him and talking to him, grabbing his hand saying how cold she was blah blah blah just making an excuse to come talk to "us" when she ignored everyone but him. Later on I saw her in the toilets and she said "omg " boyfriends name" could stay around mine tonight, oh wait both of you obviously, i'll go ask him" She runs out the bathroom to the bar and i obvs chase after her with my best friend so i can sit next to him- so while i'm sat next time him she says, we should go out sometime, oh ugh all of us obviously when she noticed how i was probably staring at her, she then done the same thing when inviting him around. She is talking to him and then suddenly includes me, probably because i'm sat there and he is just staring at me looking a bit uncomfy. pt 1/2

Updates

+1 y

We both agreed it was an uncomfy situation but he doesn't see her wrong doing and says she's always like that and like it with everyone like it's supposed to make me feel better? He did say he would talk to her less to make me feel less anxious about the situation and i really appreciate that but i just feel when i'm not there he probably is chatting to her, but is that just my brain overthinking?

Updates

+1 y

? I trust my boyfriend and i know he would never go back there but i don't know how to calm my overthinking and anxiety about the whole situation cause its really getting to me. I Don't want to bring it up again to my boyfriend because i know he is doing what he can to make me feel okay about it and i don't want to ruin their friendship. I just feel very confused and anxious about the whole thing... Will i get used to their relationship, should i accept it or what?

[Fayeleo]

You do not have to put up with this.
It is uncomfortable and disrespectful for any new girlfriend of your boyfriend.
Tell him that and he is left to either 1 maintain their friendship that close, or 2. make it clear to her that while they can still be friends but the interactions need to be limited as YOU are his girlfriend now and he needs to prioritize your feelings.

[skyeee01]

he has said to me he would happily cut ties with her if it meant it made me happy or even say to her to stop being how she is with him but i feel super guilty about it. I can guarantee next time we are out she will be again, so either if they don't stop texting i will say something. If they have stopped texting but she acts like that again in person i have a valid reason to ask her to stop or ask him to ask her to stop? Is this reasonable?

[Fayeleo]

The key is within your boyfriend. You cannot control what she does, and most likely she does not care how you feel, but your boyfriend should care. Do not make it a battle between you and her. Just simply tell your boyfriend this bothers you, and he needs to decide what he does about the situation.

[awkward_author]

She's still interested in him, and the fact that he seems to be prioritizing her over you is a red flag. Not verbally, of course, but his behavior suggests otherwise.

[skyeee01]

i can't say he reacts badly in any way and Friday night he handled very well, but he just doesn't see that she is interested in him like apparently the rest of us!!

[awkward_author]

As long as you trust that he won't do anything, it should be fine.

[Anonymous]

Yes you do and he's an idiot for even having her in his life.

[2021biguy]

Yes that isn't right, you should be annoyed.