Why is it shallow if a woman wants to date fit guys?

[SweetPea95]

But its ok for a man to date hot blonde women with big breasts?

What twilight zone is this?

[OpenClose]

Because girls call guys shallow for this all the time and then try to take the high horse and say they are "above" such things as looks, when they really aren't, or are hiding it behind something else. Such as the same action being perceived as sexy or hostile depending exclusively on what the guy looks like. So when you admit it, it looks more like a case of throwing stones in a glass house, and your arguments about "women having to obsessively deal with their looks while men don't" start to fall through.

I feel like people are unable to see the criticism the other side gets and assume that because they do it anyway, they aren't criticized. Guys assume girls aren't criticized for liking looks. Girls assume guys don't face the same criticism. They both try to justify breaking their own moral code because "the other did it first", and then it's trading blows from there.

I generally advocate for a relatively strict policy of "your reaction shouldn't change if the genders were swapped."

I remember watching a behind the scenes of Captain America, where Hayley Atwell reached out to touch Chris Evans's abs. "It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. I saw him without his shirt and just couldn't help but touch him." You can't tell me this wouldn't have been deemed groping had the genders been flipped. I'm less concerned about which one is right, and more concerned about just applying things without gender as a considering factor.

Especially concerning given the fact that, IIRC, dietary restrictions for actresses are illegal, but for Marvel it was standard contract that men had to work out a couple hours daily and eat only chicken and rice during the production period. In many cases they will dehydrate themselves leading into shoots because water weight hurts the look.

I mean I don't see anything wrong with appreciating someone who put this much effort into their body. Like, Tom Hiddleston and Chris Evans are a couple of my guy crushes. So there's nothing wrong with liking it, and don't let people shame you for it. I sincerely mean that.

The problem is when people are like "what happened to the real men of X time when they were all fit". They weren't. The Greeks and Romans considered men to be the ultimate beauty, and athletes dedicated to their physique were hired as body doubles so that famous figures could their heads sculpted on the body of an athlete. In fact, the "Rubenesque" look that came much later came from men acting as body doubles for women.

Now, if by "fit" you mean more "thin" and less "sculpted", then yeah that's totally different, and I don't think it's unreasonable. People have been primarily thin for 200,000 years of anatomically-modern humans. We've been obese for 40. We haven't been perfect in adapting to being attracted to these new physiques, but it's also only been the norm for 0.02% of our time on earth, and only in rich western and middle-eastern countries.

But that's the thing. A fit hollywood girl is generally just thin. A fit hollywood guy is more of a Marvel Chris.

I guess what I mean to say is that it's reasonable to seek out a Timothee Chalamet, it makes sense to appreciate a Jason Mamoa. But if you're going to expect a Jason Mamoa, that's a much harsher standard than a Jessica Alba. My advice would be to simply hold no higher of a standard than you yourself meet, and you should be good.

[Lliam]

Who says that it's shallow? Everyone is entitled to their preference in romantic partners.

I went through a period of almost five years, beginning in my late 20s, when I gained weight. It had to with a new job and complete change in lifestyle. At that point, I didn't like myself. I didn't pursue girlfriends because I didn't want the kind of girl who would want me. I think it was Groucho Marx who said he wouldn't want to be in a club who would want someone like him as a member.

I finally got myself together again, lost weight, got back in shape, and started dating girls that I thought were attractive. In fact, I wound up virtually living with the best girlfriend I ever had for over a year. She was my physical ideal, as well as being hypersexual and orgasmic, and I liked everything about her. I grew to love her with my heart and soul and she loved me.

We wound up separating for reasons that are complicated but had nothing to do with cheating or anything mean. A lifetime together simply wasn't meant to be. But it was a peak time in my life and I will never forget her.

Two years later, I met my future wife. We've been married now for 25 years.

So don't be ashamed of having standards and preferences. You deserve a partner that you adore.

[Cherry234]

It's totally fine to have a preference. If you like fit guys, then go for fit guys. I like guys that are taller than me and I don't want a guy that's shorter than me, like many women. It's not difficult to find at my height. Is it shallow? Maybe. But so what? Usually the people who call my preference and other people's preferences shallow are hypocrites.

They won't admit that they're shallow and like to pretend they aren't. Also, the people who get mad about other people's preferences are bitter and insecure. Date whoever you want to date. If you're not interested in someone, just politely reject that person. You don't owe anyone you're not attracted to an explanation. You have the right to go for what you want.

[Daniela1982]

I take it by your question that you are not an actual female or else women dating hot guys would not be an issue for you. Wanting to date hot guys and actually getting hot guys to date plain girls is the issue a lot of us have, the same as guys finding hot women willing to date them. That's just our lot in life - unless we had $20 million in the bank.

HOW ABOUT A DATE HANDSOME?

[rebeliouse]

@daniela1982
your not plain :( your beautiful

[ManOnFire]

I don't think that's shallow at all. It's only shallow if a woman who is overweight, flabby, or unattractive wants to date a fit man, but wants him to "accept her the way she is." And believe it or not these kinds of women are actually quite common.

[Angie221994]

I’ve seen it more common the other way around. Have you not seen some of the podcasts that men have? They’re bald and jobless and are whining about overweight women and want someone who’s hot yet they have a receding hairline, call themselves alphas, and don’t have jobs.

[Angie221994]

Let me just point out that you’ll never really see a really attractive guy with an average looking woman. But you often see very attractive women with average looking men.

[ManOnFire]

@Angie221994 You do have men like that, but most unattractive men don't think they're able to get attractive women, but women who aren't staying in shape literally believe a man should love and accept her for who and what she is. A lot of these women are on dating sites thinking they can really link up with fit and attractive men. Or hoping they can.

[desidoll]

@ManOnFire I second this. Two of my heavy friends lost their mind when they get rejected by some fit men but they won’t date fat men themselves. One of them seem to match a lot with men who are in a good shape, but none of these men stayed because obviously she is used as a booty call.

[kyleelyn199723]

@desidoll I’ll second this as well. My friends are heavy as well and I have always encouraged them to go to the gym and they will also get upset when fit guys friend zone them

[desidoll]

@kyleelyn199723 The fact that they even questioned why are they not getting attention from good looking men is pissing me off lol. So much of self-entitlement.

[Angie221994]

@ManOnFire unnatractive guys, at least ones that aren’t afraid of rejection, will hit on attractive women and usually end up dating them because a lot of other men might think they’ll be rejected by her anyway so they don’t even try. There’s a Psych professor from Stanford that wrote a book about “Dating Up” and talks about how attractive women aren’t hit on that often.

Anyway. Anyone can have a preference. Not sure if you’ve seen on tik tok a bunch of bald men on podcasts talking badly about women who weigh over 150 lbs (by the way nothing wrong with being 150 since you can be 150 and be thin) but anyway. I think you can have preferences, it just doesn’t mean that you’ll get what you want. You might want a fit person yet you’re not fit and that fit person only wants someone else that’s fit. But I’ve also seen people who are fit that like people who are chubby.

So it’s not completely far out for a woman or man who is overweight to be with someone who is fit.

People are entitled to their preferences. If they’re fat and don’t wanna date other fat people. That’s fine. It just doesn’t mean that they’re entitled to a date with the person that they want because you have to look at the preferences of the other person. And in some cases, the other person might be into them also. In most cases, they won’t be.

[ManOnFire]

@Angie221994 Attractive women aren't hit on that often probably because a lot of them are snobs and treat people - but especially men - as if they're better than them. No man wants a woman who behaves like that, and he doesn't want a woman who is in constant competition with other women over looks either.

I know of men who are not in any position to judge women because of their bodies, and they're just as bad as overweight, unattractive women. However, the difference is that while these men may want better looking, healthy women, they still know their chances at getting them are not very likely. The overweight, unattractive women actually believe they're entitled to having what they want but is out of their league. To the point of trying to guilt the world into accepting their bodies so that men will "not be shallow" and take their overweightness.

I believe in pursuing and being attracted to people accordingly. If I'm fat with a huge belly and I don't look great, why in the world would I think I can or should actually snag a healthy, fit, nice looking person? At the most, I can find such people to be attractive, but I'm in no position to feel like they should want me with poor figure, unless I'm actively working on changing my diet and lifestyle, which these women don't want to do.

Right now my own body is not in the greatest shape. I'm not fat, but I definitely need some muscle building and toning like when I was 18, and I've been back in the gym over the last month. I am actively trying to change myself and my health, and do not think I deserve a woman with an incredibly sexy healthy figure until mine is decent. That's simply the way I see myself and life period.

[ManOnFire]

@desidoll Ikr? Lmfao.

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 you get your info from tik tok. How many of those bald men are trying to stir the pot for views and followers? It’s literally a known thing where people make up stuff in tik tok for views. This is where your argument falls short

[kyleelyn199723]

On tik tok*

[JSmuve]

@Angie221994 why are ragging on bald guys like baldness in men is inherently unattractive? There are plenty of bald guys who are physically attractive

[Angie221994]

@JSmuve. I never said bald men are unattractive. But it’s an insecurity among men. That’s why the hair growing business is worth 3 billion Dollars. Lol

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 I was using an example. I wasn’t basing my argument on it. I based it off a marriage counselor with a PhD in Phsy from Stanford. So no. My argument stands. Lol.

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 your example of a marriage counselor is literally saying attractive women do not get hit on often is because they tend to be bitchy and snobby and men know that. It has nothing to do with them being attractive, it has to do with the fact that most average men and below are called creeps if they approach those women. Every single person on this earth desires attractive people.

[JSmuve]

@Angie221994 you implied it in your first response

[Angie221994]

@ManOnFire how about we don’t make assumptions on women? You literally made a baseless assumption about how attractive women are snobs lol. Have you met every single attractive women on the earth, gotten to know her personally, and taken a poll to see how many are snobby? I didn’t think so.

I never said you’re entitled to end up dating the person. I said you are ENTITLED to your own PREFERENCES. We CANNOT help what we find attractive.

I work out religiously, and I’m attracted to dad bods. So it’s not impossible. You’re acting like “chubby chasers” aren’t a thing. There’s a whole section dedicated in porn to BBW lol. It wouldn’t be there if no one was watching it. Obviously some men are into bigger women. And some of those men are thin or fit or whatever. You are entitled to what you are attracted to. However, you’re not entitled to shame them for THEIR preferences.

Let’s take you for example. You said you’re not fat or fit or whatever. Let’s say you’re average body wise (just an example). But you’re into fit girls. It’s not impossible for you to get a girl that’s fit. You are within your right to want a girl that’s fit. It just doesn’t mean you’re gonna get a girl that’s fit. All I’m arguing is that you can have whatever preference you want. But if the girl turns around and says she only dates fit guys, then you can’t shame her for it. (Which in other comments, you said similar things about this) people shouldn’t get mad if they don’t meet up to someone’s standards.

[Angie221994]

@JSmuve I was talking in a general way. Personally, I’m not into bald guys. Even if his face was attractive, I couldn’t get past the baldness and I’m not alone in feeling this way. HOWEVER. There are women who are into bald guys. That’s the whole idea about preference.

What I’m talking about is that it’s something that MEN not women find unnattractive entirely. Most men who have gone bald, wish that they hadn’t. Which is why they spend money on products that promise to get their hairline back.

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199623 also don’t understand why you’re arguing with me lol. I agreed with you to a certain point. Your friends can like fit guys. But they can’t turn around and get mad if a guy who’s fit doesn’t like them b/c they’re not fit.

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723. Um no. I never said that. I was quoting what manonfire said. The author of that book didn’t say that attractive women are snobby. Lol. You should work on those reading skills. The author only said attractive women don’t get hit on often.

Manonfire is the one who said that attractive women are snobby and bitchy. I was disagreeing with what he said. Lol.

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 you need to work on your reading skills because I never implied the author said that. I said to your point and the authors point, attractive women do not get hit on often because they are usually snobby to average men, which is the truth. Where am I arguing with you? I just wanted to point out that your point of bald men on tik tok is inaccurate because people use tik tok falsely to gain views. There’s people on there that literally falsify their views on life for attention which is another truth

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 so if men love being bald, why are they contributing to the hair growing business? Where is the 3 billion coming from? Because on the business model for Rogaine, a little over 93% of their customers are men. They have products for females too but their consumers are majority male. But you’re saying that’s false? Based on what?

Oh ok. So do you know every single attractive women on the earth to know that every single one of them is snobby? I did t think so. So maybe, don’t make assumptions about people you don’t know. 🤔

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 what does men being bald have to do with the point I just made? It seems like when people are proving you to be wrong, you keep throwing out info to cover up that you were just proved wrong. And how do I know every sing attractive woman is snobby? I don’t dude, but there’s history to suggest that that typical attractive women come off as snobby. Look at Instagram for example. How many attractive women will DM back every single guy that tries to talk to them?

[kyleelyn199723]

Every single*

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 so they’re snobby because they HAVE to reply to every single guy that messages them? That’s your definition of snobby? Lol. Men aren’t entitled to a reply lol. Her not replying to a message doesn’t make her snobby. Lol. Omg. That’s so stupid 😂

Also. How am I wrong? All I said is that people are entitled to their preferences. You can’t change what you’re attracted to. (Doesn’t mean you’ll get it) but you’re allowed to like what you like. That’s what you’re saying is wrong? 😂😂

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 there’s nothing in history that suggests that ALL attractive women are snobby. Ugly people are snobby too. Lol.

And not replying to every single Dude does not make someone snobby.

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 so why would an average guy try to DM or talk to a woman that won’t answer him back anyways? Talk about entitlement.

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 again, where did I say all attractive women are snobby? Never said that. And where did I say not replying to every single dude makes you snobby? Never said that either

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 Because men who aren’t afraid of rejection just hit on everyone. Lol. They’ll literally say stuff like “I got nothing to lose” and go for someone above their league. That’s not entitlement. Lol. There’s nothing wrong with flirting with someone. As long as you respect their boundaries if they say no or flat out ignore you.

Like are you blind? Have you not seen very attractive women with average looking men? How did you think that happened? Lol. He asked her out and she said yes. That’s not entitlement. Entitlement is when they get rejected and they feel like their owed a date or a chance with that person.

Entitlement is when you expect someone to reply to a message you sent (apparently to you that makes a person snobby tho. Lol. No one owes you a response)

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 you literally said they’re snobby if they don’t reply to every single man that messages them. Are you blind or do you have dementia that you don’t remember what you said?

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 are you stupid? Did you really insinuate people aren’t afraid of rejection? LMAO then why do many men get hostile when they do get rejected? Why are many men afraid to approach women? When did I ever say entitlement wasn’t expecting everyone to reply to you?

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 I never said that LOL I said men tend to not try for above average women because 1. They don’t reply to their dms anyways 2. They can very much be snobby

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 I didn’t say ALL men aren’t afraid of rejection. I said the men that aren’t afraid of rejection. You really can’t read, huh? Sorry that you’re obviously mentally disabled

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 I mean you’re ugly and snobby so what’s your excuse. And you’re mentally retarded to top it off also. Lol

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 you literally said it’s snobby to not reply to every single message you get. Lol. Retard

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 🤣🤣🤣 you don’t even have a pic of yourself to suggest anything about my looks. You are a nut case and what’s even worse about you is you are a retard too. Your entitled self skipped right to insulting me when I proved your point wrong once AGAIN

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 once again, I never said not replying to men you don’t want to talk to is snobby.

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 You sound like Donald trump. Lol. Denying stuff that you obviously said. And yeah you did say that. You said they don’t reply to every single message which makes them snobby.

The only point you proved is that you’re mentally retarded 🥰

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199623 like you’re obviously upset because you’re a trannie and guys don’t want to date trannies lol

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years you retard. Just keep making yourself look more stupid. It’s great when there’s multiple people in the comments witnessing you explode with trigger 🤣🤣🤣🤣 keep going

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 no it’s okay. I don’t like talking to the mentally ill like yourself. Have a good day, trannie. Hopefully your SO doesn’t dump you when he finds out you have a dick lol

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 oh so you’re SO is a retard also. Ok lol

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 you don’t even know my SO and he is also BALD by choice. Are you mad? Keep going 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[JSmuve]

@Angie221994

"What I’m talking about is that it’s something that MEN not women find unnattractive... Personally, I’m not into bald guys. Even if his face was attractive, I couldn’t get past the baldness and I’m not alone in feeling this way. "

Can you not see the blazing contradiction in these two statements that you made? On the one hand you say that women don't find baldness unattractive, men do. BUT then on the other hand you say that you, presumably a woman, find baldness unattractive AND other women do too (presuming you have opinions to back it up). So you're really just talking out of both sides of your mouth.

"Most men who have gone bald, wish that they hadn’t. Which is why they spend money on products that promise to get their hairline back"

Yes, but they wish they hadn't because of women like you who make it a point to say how unattractive bald men are. In fact, in your first response to @ManOnFire the first characteristic of these unattractive men that you describe is that they're bald. Not obesity or poor hygiene, but it's baldness that's the epitome of male unattractiveness, which is patently false.

[kyleelyn199723]

@JSmuve wow you made a valid point that men only seeing being bald as a bad quality because they know many women are unattracted to it. But don’t bothering arguing with her. The moment I kept proving her points to be invalid and contradicting , she started throwing insults at me. Then once I started providing her insults to be false, she kept on going with different insults. She has no clue how to be wrong and the fact that she needs to read a book validating that men don’t go for the most attractive women usually is all I need to know. She read that as a validation point because she isn’t attractive in the slightest most likely

[kyleelyn199723]

Proving her insults to be invalid**

[JSmuve]

@kyleelyn199723 Yes, I unfortunately read the entire exchange. Some women are like that; belittling someone instead of enriching the conversation.

"most average men and below are called creeps if they approach those women"

I appreciated that you pointed this out. Not many women have the awareness to acknowledge this. It truly is unfortunate that we live in a society that says it's a man's job to approach and pursue, but then is called "desperate or creepy" if he tries too hard or with the wrong girl. Such is life though.

[kyleelyn199723]

@JSmuve women do this all the time and what they don’t realize is, long before social media and iPhones, it was a NORM to approach women this way. Then women like her wonder why most attractive women do not get approached. They don’t for a reason. Their beauty has nothing to do with it. It has to do with the fact that most beautiful attractive women think they are superior to society. All you need to do is go on Instagram and look at Instagram models profiles to figure this one out

[kyleelyn199723]

Even when I had an Instagram, I used to act superior to the men I didn’t find attractive and wouldn’t even acknowledge them even when they just comment on my pictures. Having beauty is a superiority game

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723. Awe. I hurt the trannie’s feelings lol

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 no one hurt my feelings hun, but nice you woke from the dead just to perpetuate more insults meanwhile I’m having an adult convo with someone else. I was just enlightening him that you are incapable of having adult conversations

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 nah some of us have a life. Bye retarded trannie

[kyleelyn199723]

@Angie221994 you are so ample to throw insults you literally ignored the one person that actually tagged you to converse with you

[Angie221994]

@kyleelyn199723 yeah it’s impossible to have a convo since you’re mentally retarded

[kyleelyn199723]

@angie221994 I’m retarded , but not one single person that has replied to you has agreed with you and your contradictions. Interesting. I guess we are all retarded to you

[kyleelyn199723]

@angie221994 @JSmuve actually literally tagged you because he wanted to talk to you, but you literally dodged over his comment to insult me. This is how immature and ridiculous you are

[AncientWisdom]

Oh man. This gave me quite a few chuckles. Also quite a few thoughts of derision.
The comments got way off the topic of of the question.
What happened was; is the worst kind of dummy got involved one who thinks they are smart by speaking in double talk, projection and deflection every time she got shown she was wrong.
This is very typical of these kind of combative type females. I think either this is a very narcissistic woman or more likely because of the lack of a profile picture a slothful type that doesn’t like the opinions because they don’t favor the slothful , gluttonous , and greedy types.
People like this think they are the shit because they were born , or they know what they are and go on the defensive like a small child when confronted with bad behavior.
Irregardless @Angie221994 you have completely shown your ass , and given all of gag the spectacle of your stupidity. Which I will hold up as typical female behavior when cornered. I suggest pulling the cotton from your ears and shoving it in your mouth. Also I’d suggest that you grow up and stop behaving as a child in a verbal tantrum. Adults can see through the projection , and deflection you engaged in. The amount of time and energy it took to do this further outlines your immaturity. Do yourself and the rest of a favor and seek professional help.

[Angie221994]

@AncientWisdom I think it’s hilarious for you to think that I would read your comment. I don’t have time for stupidity.

[kyleelyn199723]

@angie221994 why aren’t you willing to read his? I didn’t even tag you in mine and you were willing to read mine 🤷🏻‍♀️

[kyleelyn199723]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 she blocked me. What a dumb broad

[AncientWisdom]

Oh dear. My my my. @Kyleelyn199723 . Oh she read it. She just couldn’t say anything intelligent. Tell me are you surprised. I’m certainly not. Also make no mistake I don’t argue with these types of women. That serves their purpose. She isn’t trying to learn anything. She isn’t trying to gain knowledge at all. She is so caught up in her delusions she can’t hear or see anything that is in disagreement with her. I simply made a statement that I stand behind. Any argument it invites I will meet with silence for arguing with a fool only proves that you are one as well.

[kyleelyn199723]

@AncientWisdom very wise stance and very true. I did argue with her, because I knew exactly what kind of person she was and I knew she was going to eventually name call me and I am not sure why I find it so entertaining when people get so wrapped up in wanting to be correct, that they start to throw jabs.

[AncientWisdom]

@Kyleelyn The easy answer to that is it’s fun. You have to admit sending a foolish person packing is very cool.
I read the entire conversation twice. I then entered my opinion.
I have put 200 years into my 55 I have lived and I packed it full of experiences. I traveled this world. I’ve seen and studied humans all of my life. I have worked the most dangerous jobs on earth. I take care of my body , and I exercise my mind in the continued pursuit of knowledge.
I am a student of the human soul.
I once did not speak or interact with humans at all for two years and 6 days. I lived in solitude so that I might become familiar with this man I am and the soul within.
That being said people have become much like children to me in this modern day. It’s unfortunate that so many have no idea of their potential. Indeed most haven’t a clue of what we truly are as beings.
I try to spread knowledge to the receptive. Trying to spread knowledge to a closed mind is an act of utter futility , and eventually remorse for another human that is lost.

[AncientWisdom]

@Kyleelyn199723 sorry I forgot the numbers.

[MCheetah]

This seems like something you made up. Because how many "fat acceptance" and "big is beautiful" and "body positivity" movements are there for loser insecure women? (I myself even like big women, but I hate that they try to shame men who aren't into them, and it comes off pathetic when they do.)

Women whine when men say they want a woman with big boobs and a fat ass, but then also say they won't date short men and a guy under six feet is a dealbreaker. Seems like women are the more shallow ones. You know, cause actual science backs it up? (The TL;DR is, "cause pregnancy.")

[TheSpaceGnome]

I never understood the concept of "unattainable beauty standards". What standards? Beauty has no standards.

People like different things, and people shouldn't try to attain beauty by altering their bodies or cramming makeup all over their face (as if we won't see the real them after it washes off).

It's not a goal, she either is attractive to me naturally, or she isn't. But I keep hearing women say men give them this "unattainable goal", as if we expect them to transform like some polymorphing wizard instead of just rejecting them and looking elsewhere for what we want.

[KlinkyCoder]

I hate living in this insane world. I wish this was the 1960s or 1980s and I was the same age in life I am now.

[TruthBringer]

Who told you it's shallow? It's not shallow at all. You are very well in your right to have that preference ONLY IF you you live up to that standard yourself. Imagine (for the sake of argument) that a fat guy would refuse to date anyone who is remotely overweight, but wants that very fit girl with a big squat booty while he sits all with a controller in his hands. Now that would be deemed unacceptable, wouldn't it? Same thing goes for women. If you have standards for men you cannot live up to, then you are indeed shallow and unjustified in it. But if you yourself are in good shape and take your health and fitness seriously, who says you aren't allowed to have that? I myself am very fit and I refuse to date girls who are not. Hence why you see me with a girl who is very much in shape.

Imagine if you're under 5'5 and you refuse to day anyone who is under 6'0 regardless if they are still taller than you, then yes you are shallow. But wanting a fit dude when you yourself are in shape is not shallow at all. It's just those who are lazy who would complain about this

[PenguinGuy]

Yeah cause guys totally don't get called shallow for wanting to date thin girls (which is easier to be than being muscular as a guy by the way, I don't know why but women seem to think guys are just born with muscles and it's not a fucking slog for us to get them). It's either all shallow or it's not - stop shifting goalposts for either gender. "But it's okay for a man to date a blonde woman with big breasts" you are both strawmanning and being a hypocrite here. This is essentially what you've said - "It's not shallow to only want hot guys cause guys date hot women and say it's okay and that's bad" - despite the fact that EVERYONE says it's shallow - LIKE YOU JUST DID. Anyway, it's clear you have a lot of internalized latent sexism so I'll keep it simple. YES it's shallow to date fit guys. YES it's shallow to date hot girls with big boobs. NO, people don't say it's not shallow for guys to date them (as you literally just did). NO it's not okay to say one is shallow and imply the other isn't purely along gender lines (as you are trying to do).

[AncientWisdom]

It’s not shallow.
In my opinion people who get lazy and let themselves go are not worth my time.
As human beings in this day and age it’s much better to take care of yourself body and mind and don’t worry about the haters. That’s who calls people names for preferences, because they are mad they don’t fall into your preferences.
It’s ridiculous. Stupidity , sloth , overeating , neurosis’s of all kinds infest the modern world. I prefer to date FIT women as well. I go to the gym every single day except Sunday sometimes. Its a commitment to yourself. In my experience those who love them selves in a healthy way ROCK.
I am 55 years old and I’m told I look like I’m in my late 30s
No Ma’am it’s not shallow it’s called preference and there is nothing wrong with it.
Every human being that is able should be fit. All this depression and anxiety and other things people have would dissipate , and we could all realize our potential. Wouldn’t they be great.

[Datboi65]

I don't think it's shallow. Matter of fact, I would go further to say that they should ONLY go after fit guys, so it can be a source of motivation for others to work out. However, women do this all the time. The problem is when you have a type, and then you don't meet THEIR standards. Imagine a 6'2 guy who has a lean physique with great asthetics and a decent amount of muscle mass that you are into, but then he rejects you because you're 15 pounds overweight. Now, I don't know you. I don't know your build, that was just an example. Women would rather come up with terms like "fatphobia" rather than do the work that needs to be done to be in shape. I don't give a damn about Blondes, I actually think they are overrated. I think all phenotypes are attractive, as long as you put in some damn work. Simple as that.

[kyleelyn199723]

Because many women that are into fit men aren’t even fit themselves. I date someone that is personally fit as I am fit myself and there’s no way any unfit person would be able to keep up with our lifestyles

[SweetPea95]

I agree. I may be attracted but I myself will be hitting the gym before I can date these guys.

[kyleelyn199723]

@sweetpea95 well at least fit guys are your motivation to better yourself, but also do it for yourself! There’s so much benefits to being fit and healthy! I wish you the best!

[AlperEngin93]

Yeah being fit gives you a lot of confidence and makes you feel good about yourself. I appreciate girls trying to be fit because someone sexy like you is every man's desire :D

[Finchie40]

Only shallow to insecure jealous people , everyone has their own preferences and what they like and are into , if I can’t get hard for a girl I am not going to fuck her , I hate to sound shallow but that’s just how it goes , if I like a girl and she thinks I am ugly and didn’t like me that’s fine, shit happens move on to the next We can’t force someone to like us it takes 2 to tango , I see beautiful girls a lot that I would love to fuck but only if they find me beautiful as well and we have great connection and chemistry , that’s all that matters , just be cause someone looks beautiful on the outside it doesn’t mean they are beautiful in the inside

[Kathryn19087]

Personally I cannot date a guy who isn’t fit or at least into hitting the gym as much as possible. BUT I apply this standard to myself as well. I myself am a very active girl. So I just naturally will be more attracted to someone who’s into fitness. I used to be overweight and now I’m very thin, so I had to incorporate a lot of discipline and motivation into my schedule. For me it’s a must in order for us to be compatible. I don’t think it’s shallow as long as you yourself are also doing the things you want in a potential partner.

[InYourHead]

You can fuck who you want when you want for whatever reason you want. If you want fat guys, then fuck fat guys, if you want fit guys then fuck fit guys, if you want your boyfriend to pick guys for you to fuck so he can watch then do that. There's no shame or shallowness in any of that.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if I'd call them shallow. If finding a fit/muscular man is their #1 priority then they're shallow, but just really liking the idea of being with a fit/muscular guy isn't terrible. I'll be honest, my boyfriend's muscles were a huge reason that initially attracted me to him and I still absolutely love them. If that was all he had I absolutely wouldn't date him. But that doesn't mean I don't love that he has them! Maybe it's a little shallow, but I don't think me loving his muscles is bad or wrong

[TonyV]

Well you see the biggest difference is, from my experience guys will date anything from a 4 and up, women will seem to think they deserve only 8 and up.
Being blonde with big, possible fake boobs dosent compare to fit guy with abs.

Blonde and big boibs is fairly average, the girl you described even tho she looks good could just be a 5 or 6

[SweetPea95]

Ratings are really dumb my man. You're not a teenager..

[Angie221994]

Not really. You often see very attractive women with average looking dudes. Rarely is it the other way around.

[TonyV]

Yeah I've seen it both ways but I see it more often where the guy is the attractive one with an average or below woman.

[MJtheCoach]

Because it’s called different biology men in the human species are designed to look beautiful that’s why girls have push-up bras make up hair extensions eyeliner‘s make up that makes them more attractive and etc.


men have to look hot naturally without any boost because we have nothing and second of all you seem to be extremely overweight.


For men to have a nice body they need to work on every muscle individually for a girl to have a nice body she needs a flat stomach and a big ass where she could get by right diet and just cardio and small deadlifts.


Girls date guys for other reasons not because of their looks in even though they might say they do.


Seem like you’re an idiot you haven’t figured it out yet.

[MJtheCoach]

Men aren’t designed to look beautiful**

[Paul09]

Women are naturally beautiful. But get brainwashed into thinking they need make up. Which a lot of the times it makes them look funny.

[SweetPea95]

Um..

[Sirenboobzilla]

As a blonde with biggies, I feel attacked 😆

To answer your question: from my perspective, we tend to be super picky but don't like it when they're picky about us. Like, your preference is fit men and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, let's say you start talking to a fit guy and he doesn't like your body type, how do you feel?

[MrBadd]

The people who call you shallow because of your preferences are only mad because they don’t fit them. A fit guy will be glad you only go for fit guys because that’s him, a fat guy will be mad because he’s disqualified. But really everyone prefers a fit attractive man/woman, even if they pretend otherwise.

[SweetPea95]

Depends on me. I'd gladly go with a cute plus size guy

[rebeliouse]

probably its the same reason about the double standards in society that a guy can be promiscuous and its seen as badge or honor yet when a woman is promiscuous she is see (wrongly in my eyes) by society as a slut etc.

society has been manipulating people for years its about time everyone got educated got some common sense thought for themselves and actually figured things out them selves and not follow some bulshit society norms generated by the few in power to control people like religion does.

[ItsyBitsySpider]

Regardless of anyone's shape, size, weight, looks most people have preferences and that is okay.

There is a big difference to just not being attracted to someone Vs going out of your way to make them feel bad because your not attracted to someone.

If you're overweight, you're allowed to find fit people attractive, if that's your type and vise versa.

Just don't be a dick about it if you don't find someone attractive.

[Avicenna]

This is actually a subset of hypergamy. People in general prefer more physically attractive partners, regardless of their own fitness level. But it's up to you to decide what your dealbreakers are, no one else's opinion matters on that. So many people are overweight these days that not everyone can have a fit partner anway.

[JasM0]

We all are entitled to our preferences. Are they double standards? Yes. If they are the only reason why you’re with someone, is it shallow? Yes. Should there be consequences for poor choices? Absolutely.

Should we focus on the choices that others make? Absolutely not.

Cheers

[Anonymous]

That’s what I want to know. SOME Guys (around my age and where I live) will have this whole build a girl list like “big boobs, big ass, skinny, short, blue eyes” etc and they’ll get mad af if I say one thing I want from a guy, even if it’s a personality trait. “I want a loyal guy” “HOW DARE YOU” It’s so dumb. People can have preferences for sure, and you can wanna date whoever, it’s only shallow if it’s a whole list of physical things that you can’t even offer. Like I’ll never “only date” a rich guy with an 8 pack, a big dick, 6 foot 5, etc and no one else, because that’s just unrealistic for me. Not saying people should settle, just be realistic and at least don’t be rude to people who aren’t your preference. I prefer brunettes but I don’t go around talking shit about blondes.