Is what I’m experiencing typical from dating apps/meeting people in person or am I just unlucky?

[Anonymous]

27F I will say I’m unlucky, I don’t think dating is this hard for the average person. In fact, most people have it easy as long as they’re attractive. Since I’ve been on dating apps on and off for years, that’s the only way I’ve met people but I just never catch a break. The one time I saw someone short term, it felt like settling because no one else gave me attention & he wasn’t physically attractive to me but treated me okay. I always get pursued by the ones I don’t want, if they’re attractive they’re dicks or there’s no connection OR if they’re good looking but decent personality they’re too short for me.

Sometimes the guys on dating apps message and we speak for a little while, but things fizzle out. Out of no where in some cases, they reach out again and come across as unstable or a total asshole wanting to rub something in my face. Look at last post, is this standard of dating apps or am I unlucky?

TL; DR: Typical with dating apps or just bad luck in love?

Typical

Unlucky

[wtf636]

I would go with option C. That you have unrealistic expectations. Let's face it. Hot women have 0 issues finding men on dating apps. And if they want to date them, the men will date them and marry them. They have thousands of messages just waiting for a reply in their inbox. They can pick and choose from all the men on there.

My guess, is you think you are hotter than you really are. The men that are approaching you and messaging you, trying to actually get to know you and take you out. That is your level. Sure some hot guys might come through just for sex. Because it's easy to sleep with a woman that thinks you're really hot. But unless that's all you want, you need to start opening up your standards a bit.

Maybe those attractive people you want, think they would be settling for YOU.

Most people are dating to find someone to marry, maybe not men in their 20's especially attractive men, but they will eventually be looking for a wife. If all the men you want, don't want you, then there is either something wrong with you that you need to fix, OR you are trying to aim too high and those men will never appreciate you. Sure maybe that guy exists somewhere, but probably not in this country, and he's hard to find.

I have been there. I have spent most of my time up until recently chasing "Hot" women that never really liked me as much as I liked them. I was always chasing, it's exhausting and emotionally damaging. So I changed my focus and found a woman that I was attracted to but wasn't the typical "hot chick" and who really likes me. And it feels so much better than trying to "keep" someone interested in you. I can be myself, and she likes every bit of me. And my attraction for her has grown with that connection. I'm just saying maybe give some of those short guys a chance. Or guys you might not think are the hottest but have a good career, and know how to treat a woman, like you for you.

Be humble and self-reflective, it's much sexier.

[caring__1]

This is common for dating sites. Good looking people tend to have unrealistic expectations, so you're left with the desperate ones or the scammers. Most people don't give a clear picture of who they are, so it's hard to determine compatibility. They talk in vague generalities or they just list their expectations or entitlements. They might post things to impress others, but don't assume these things are part of their on-going lifestyle. Get to know the person and their objectives before meeting in person. Ask about the things that are important to you. Never say "I'm religious... are you?" They'll just give you what they think you want to hear. Instead, ask their thoughts and feelings about religion. If you're looking for something long-term, it's a good idea to ask questions that show you're interested in understanding them rather than expecting something specific. If you want some questions to ask, I can share some.

[Avicenna]

Well, dissatisfaction with dating apps is completely normal. Part of it is that everyone is trying to meet or talking to multiple people and so they don't appreciate an individual- everyone is just a number, and the attraction is superficial (almost no dating profile properly indicates what someone is actually like). Guys with lots of options have little incentive to commit, so I'd make a list with your priorities and must-haves and also a list of "nice-to-haves" that aren't dealbreakers.

I'd suggest trying Bumble if you aren't already using it. I'd also suggest meeting guys IRL instead.

[Phoenix-gb]

At the end of the day, everyone settles at some point, if everyone held out for their perfect partner, no-one would be getting together.

Don't get me wrong, standards and preferences are good things, but they can also stand between you and some great people if you're dismissing them over one missed check box.

[VikingWarLord]

Your azz is gonna have to settle for one of those. or else you're gonna be a cat lady EARLY in life. Might as well go with us hot bad boys with big D, at least we can make your panties wet. You'll get bored with the short average dudes wit small D and end up cheating with a prick like me anyways.

[magiusX26]

not typical or unlucky. hell your actually still on the lucky side of things.