Do you believe in waiting for marriage?

[Anonymous]

I personally am waiting for marriage and I don't believe in dating casually or "hooking up" with people. To me intimacy is something extremely special, personal and sacred, as well as my body and I could never just share that with any old person, This is just me though!! 😊😊

[Medicalbug]

I'm not that into the concept of marriage and don't believe in the concept of "the one". Soulmates? Yes, but on a mental level. Sex is just an activity for me. I don't see myself any differently because I enjoy it and am completely disconnected from the "virgin/whore" dichotomy. Perhaps because I have a dualistic, working relationship with my body, I see it as more of a tool to explore the world than a direct representation of who I am. My body pees, but I don't feel like a pisser. lol. Obviously, I could use it to do things I morally disapprove of (eg. killing someone), which would reflect badly upon my entirety, but I don't consider casual sex reprehensible. I think it's a very natural human activity and like most things, if I don't let it lead me down a spiral of addiction and other forms of hurtful behavior, I see it as little more than a healthy pastime. I am also not religious, so that is probably key. I am not ingrained with a sexual value system and therefore do not feel a sense of intrinsic, sexually motivated guilt.
One caveat - I try not to use sex to hurt people. I don't like hurting people. That's where the fun stops. Also, I respect you and how you choose to live! Good for you for sticking to your values and beliefs. The world is full of people who will try to tell you to do otherwise. I may be coming from a different place, but I've had enough people tell me I should change to know how annoying it is. I hope you find someone to marry and be very happy with.

[Asker]

Thank you, and I'm glad you're living how you'd like to! and I'm sorry if anyone with my beliefs pushed you to change as well. We're on different "sides" but I think in the end we believe in the same thing! 😊

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

I don’t follow it, but I do believe sex and intimacy is very important and shouldn’t be thrown around to people you don’t know or wouldn’t want to see again.
I only had sex with my long term, committed boyfriend. I don’t do hookups either because I don’t see a point in it. It’s far more pleasurable and meaningful when you do it with someone you love and will spend the rest of your life with.

[DaveJord]

I do not question peoples personal beliefs, values or morals so if you choose to wait until marriage then that is fine with me.

But for me personally, anyone that puts conditions on a relationship prior a relationship getting started... "like saying I will not have sex before marriage"... well to me that is a person being a little selfish and self centered. They are saying from the go, that their personal values and beliefs out weigh mine before they have even considered me as a person. So its some what closed minded to me, and it is sad to me because there are a lot of really great people out there, descent people of high moral standards that would never consider marriage with someone with out having sex first with them. So you are probably letting some of the best people slip by.

[Asker]

Mm I don't necessarily agree, everyone definitely has their own personal values and standards for themselves, I never said mine were higher than those who didn't wait, or that theirs were lower than mine. Besides, it's something very important to me so I would feel awful dating someone who didn't want to wait, because then I'd be forcing them to do something they didn't want to do. And I believe it goes both ways, It's truly something I don't want to do and would be very sad if I was in a relationship with someone who would push me to. This is a bit personal but to give a bit more context to why I feel this way, I've been sexually assaulted multiple times in my life and so it's apart of the reason (not the only reason) why I want to make sure that whoever has access to my body is someone who I have clearly loved and trusted for long enough to marry. There are so many reasons other than this one, and I'm sure people that feel the same way as me have their own underlying reasons, so I think it's best not to judge someone as being selfish based on something like this😊

[DaveJord]

Well again I said what ever your values are that is fine with me... so not judging. But again from the guys perspective, with zero back ground or context on you. They will assume that you either have some type of anxiety about sex, or that you are putting preconditions on the relationship.

So I was not saying you were selfish, but in general it comes off as being selfish with out context. As long as you're honest about it from the start... and I mean really early from the start. Most guys are thinking by the 3rd to 5th date there should be sex, before they get too invested in a relationship. So as long as you are clear and honest about your expectations from the start... then yeah you're not being selfish.

[Asker]

Well I appreciate you clarifying but saying someone comes off as selfish for wanting to wait for marriage is just... odd? to me. Wouldn't It be the same if someone won't date someone who wants to wait? Then they have a precondition as well. I guess everyone is selfish if we go by what you're saying?

[yug_a_tsuj]

Which is fair enough, I'd he is not willing to wait for you he is not the one for you. Point of relationship is to have some basic ideas and beliefs similar and compatible, if they ain't it's no one's fault, they just aren't a match.

[Asker]

@yug_a_tsuj Yes! I agree😊

[DaveJord]

Well again you flipped it around on me and I guess you are correct. Absolutely we all want different things out of our relationship. But waiting for sex until marriage is a huge red flag to most guys. I did not say I would not wait on a women if she was the right one... but I would never marry a women without having sex first. Sex is a huge factor in marriage and waiting to find out after marriage that you do not vibe sexually is really too late in the game. But that's just me and like 90% of most other guys.

They post polls all the time on this question and like 80 to 20 saying hell no they would wait... men and women.

[SladeTannon]

No, I don't believe in purity or waiting for marriage. I also wouldn't look for sex with someone I wasn't either committed to, or very close to. I'm not sure how I'd react to an opportunity for quick/casual sex, but I wouldn't be interested enough to seek it out.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I am also waiting for marriage. Anything before marriage like a relationship, a hookup, or anything of that nature does not hold any true meaning.
A relationship would be meaningful if you take the next step, marriage.
That is what I think.

[Asker]

Yes! I completely agree, I'm a bit shocked that guys agree with me, I know everyone are individuals and have their own wants and minds. But I admit I had a tinyyy expectation that majority of the male replies would say the opposite 🤭

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

What people see as men in spotlight are always like what you expected.
I think that people like me and many more sharing similar thought are often overlooked in the above people's shadow.

[KatherineJ]

I waited until I found the guy that I wanted to marry. But no, we didn’t wait until our wedding day. We will be celebrating our 10th Anniversary this year. 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

[Asker]

Awwwwwww🥺, that's so sweet, I'm really happy for you! I think it's the best way, but I definitely won't judge anyone haha

[KatherineJ]

Thank you so much! There were things that we waited on until we were totally committed (engaged) before doing. But when I had the right man, and it was the right time, I chose not to wait. But that’s a decision that each of us has to make for ourselves.

[yug_a_tsuj]

I don't do sex if I am not very committed to a girl, waited for my ex almost a year to be ready, but by then relationship wasn't really working out anyway so now, I am happy my first time wasn't with her

After her waited for 7 years till I met my current girlfriend, and she was my first time

Just before her I dated a girl, who wanted to wait till the marriage, and it wasn't really something that pushed me away, actually she didn't believe me I'd wait for her 😅🥲

[Berethor]

Good choice. :)

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/why_buy_the_cow_when_you_can_get_the_milk_for_free

[Buntyp]

Good luck with that, sweetheart, and be careful about who you trust. There are some out there who specialize in convincingly faking exactly what you're hoping to find.

[boggboss]

No I don't believe in waiting I proboblybwouldnt be willing to marry someone I have nit slept with and lived with for a little while

[Asker]

I agree with the last part for sure, I definitely would like to live with my partner for a bit before marriage as well 😊

[Guy13]

Psalm 139:14 How do you know you are of Value? How do you know that your body has Value? How do you know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made?

[slatyb]

No, because sexual compatibility isn’t magic. I figure any woman who wants to wait until marriage has a low sex drive.

[Bside]

Hahahah marriage is a joke anyway for women. I do what I want when I want no one asked anyone else.

[EmmaMary]

Not a hope in hells chance.

Who the hell buys a new car without test driving it first?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I believe in waiting for marriage but I refuse to do hookups or friends with benefits I am 100 % against the devils work is what It is

[exitseven]

I sort of did at one time but I have changed my mind. You have to try before you buy.

[Cubus]

Studies show that the longer you wait with sex, the more stable your marriage would be (less likely to collapse).

So yeah, I believe.

[bamesjond0069]

You're amazing and some man will be very proud to be your husband. Don't give in to anyone pressuring you otherwise.

[Hellraiser1984]

Yes. I really don't want herpes or any other STDs. Or kids from a previous relationship.

[talka20]

Yes i do most definitely

[rabbitzzz]

So how are you gonna meet your husband exactly?

[Iron_Man]

Yes if the girl wants it Would be nice

[Emanon25]

Yes I do

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes, ma'am; I do! 🙂