Why do people still believe in the idea of "the one"?

Question

we have all heard it, "waiting for the one", I'm sorry, but anyone in this day and age who still believes that, is just lazy.
7.6 billion people on a planet and you believe that just ONE is meant for you? One thing that tickles me was this lady that had been married five times, and still believed in "the one", she "hadn't met him yet" lol.

"the one" is supposed to fall out of nowhere, make all the right moves, say all the right things, no disagreements, birds singing around your head while you sniff flowers, perfect marriage and the carriage says "happily ever after" while you ride off into the sunset?
You know the reason why they write "happily ever after" on those books? well, 1, the book had to end, and 2, it sounds like a better ending than "and now the real shit begins"

Let me tell you something about the REAL "the one"... look outside your window, at the tv, in your magazine, the person next to you on the bus.. each and EVERY single one if them is "the one"
In marriage, the pastor or priest, says something about "... and 2 shall become 1", now ask yourself, how will two become one? It means each individual 1 that makes up the 2, will have to drop.50 (50%) of themselves. and only those who do this, meet "the one".
These days, many men and women are too busy trying to express how strong and independent they are as a person, that they do the same in their relationship and wonder why it ended. well.. I've just explained why. you can be strong and independent as a person when you are single, but when you are in a relationship, you are on a team, there is no "y-o-u" or "i" in "t-e-a-m".

I think people who believe in the concept of the one are just making excuses for the fact that they are just too damn lazy, greedy and selfish to make allowances for other people. i don't believe in "the one", or soulmate, or any of that nonsense.. but i need to work on my greed and selfishness while looking eh.

Am i right? or partially right? or partially wrong? or totally wrong?

Updates

+1 y

The concept of "the one" back then usually involed "one and done"
this is how i view the concept of "the one" in todays day and age...

im a magician, supposedly great, i pull out a deck of cards and ask the audience to pick a card, i put the card back in the deck... shuffle it... say "presto!" and pull out a card. Wrong card.
next card, No
and next, no
and i keep doing this until the now tired audience says Yes. and i bow, repeat how great a magician i am and exit.

FlutteringFeelings · Accepted Answer

“Waiting on the one” doesn’t necessarily mean to sit around and don’t date. Waiting means to not direct your time and life to people who aren’t there to stay for the long run and commit to you. There aren’t plenty “the one’s” for us because if that was the case GAG wouldn’t be filled with people man/woman who are heartbroken over the person they thought was “the one” but played them for a fool. Most humans move by their ego and pride and the decisions that are made are based upon what we “think” is best for us.

“The one” is the person you come across when you’ve healed yourself internally and you know they’re the one because you’re not choosing this person out of loneliness. When we love ourselves we’ll seek out people who would add value to our lives instead of stripping away the peace from our days.

Love isn’t perfect and that’s the part of it all when two people who are different join together. The meaning of no perfect love doesn’t include cheating and abuse. Whether it’s a platonic relationship or romantic relationship there will always be disagreements because it’s normal to not see eye to eye all the time. There may be billions of people to be with on this earth but that doesn’t mean it’ll work. A women can date 10 men and there is no gain from in if they’re not valuing her. A man can date 10 women and he gains nothing from it because he does not value them.

Temporary pleasure doesn’t guarantee a life of joy just temporary happiness.

Puppystarfish23 · Accepted Answer

I honestly feel like my boyfriend is the one and that we were meant to be. We are prefect for each other and I can't imagine my life with anyone else but him. We've been together nearly two years and yes I'll Amit the honeymoon phase is officially over but it still doesn't change the way we feel for each other. I never get bored of him and we make each other so happy and we are each others best friends. We are always gonna be there for each other and I've never had that kind of love with anyone else more than I do with him. I love him so much, he's the only thing in my life that will never let me down and I hope I'm the same for him. We both want to do good by each other. When we are together it's like we are one.

We may have met on tinder but obviously destiny wanted my friend to push me into getting tinder so I could find the love of my life. If it wasn't for that friend I'd had never met him and lord knows we're I'd be now probably dead or in a toxic , one sided relationship. He saved me from a life of loneliness and isolation. That is how I know he's the one because I can't just stop talking about how much I love him and why.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

When I talk about The One, I do not mean to suggest that there is only one person on this planet with whom I could be happy. The One means the woman with whom I will ultimately find lasting happiness and satisfaction. And there may be many women who could be The One, but I will stop looking when I meet the first of them who comes into my life.

"The two become one" refers to the unity of marriage but your mathematical analysis is misdirected. When the two become one, that means that both become motivated to do what is right for the sanctity and preservation of their marriage and they place the needs of the marriage above their individual needs. It also means that each partner makes the needs of the other as important as their own needs. If a couple is well matched, that should not mean that the needs of either go unfulfilled on any consistent basis. It is simply a matter of what comes first.

Wowie101 · Accepted Answer

I’m so sorry that whatever this was that scored you happend. I think you’re confusing the pursuing of the one as an actual hard concept. The one is more of a path a choice of belief... many of us search for this very few find it. But when that happens it really is a beautiful thing. When I was a teenager I was camping and there was this elderly couple. They’ve been married for 45 years and every night they went for a walk hand-in-hand and kissed. They were the happiest most content people I’ve ever seen. This concept of the one does exist maybe not for everybody but for some... for everybody else I think it’s a quest. I feel you’re cheating yourself out of a great experience. But that’s your choice

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I don’t believe an ideal person exists who can solve all your problems or anybody else’s but I don’t blame people for believing in the one because if you don’t take your marriage seriously, or regard it as an absolute, you won’t be faithful when things get hard.

zed-789 · Answer

Sorry but u sound pretty hurt my guy. Or that I’ve come across a lot of delusional people. Throughout my whole life growing up I’ve always heard of finding “the one” but I’ve never been shown or told that it would be some magic guy that solved all my problems. Maybe it’s because the adults I grew up around were honest with me. who knows. But the environment I’ve grown up in and have managed to continue to find myself being apart of have always spoke of the one but in realistic terms. So for me, finding the the one just means finding a guy that has a similarly agreeable background as myself, shares the same morals and religion, has the ability to look at the big picture instead of only focusing on short term goals and has a deep understand of compromise and commitment. Spending the rest of ur life with someone is hard work. It’s the choice to continue to care about only one person even when u don’t love them the same as before. people think it’s only about being loyal but it’s so much more that that. Finding the one and getting married means u made the choice to re-get to know ur partner and who they have become for the rest of ur life over and over because people r always growing and always changing. How my grandpa puts it, “I never really stopped dating and getting to know a woman. I just choose to dated different versions of ur grandma throughout the different stages of life instead of different women“

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

You are overthinking this waaaaay too much.

"The one" doesn't mean only one person on earth is a good match (it's probably more like several hundred thousand compatible people per person).

It means that this is "the one" that worked out, so you stuck with them exclusively.

"The one" is the person you marry, the person who loves you and only you, the person who stays with you and only you for your whole existence, who you relate to entirely, never fight with, get along great with. Thats all that means.

Lots of people could fill that role, but each are likely to be hard to find because of how many other people there are who won't be compatible with you.

Splatzonelover1 · Answer

It toke about after 9 ex boyfriend to find a new guy that is respectful and nothing likes my last ex boyfriend was toxic. The guy that I am taking I met on Facebook. I also tried disabled dating site and didn't get me anywhere.. I was browsing I Facebook and saw a guy that apected my friend request then starting talking then and did take about online safety and online dating and talk about a park and game and he would prefer a long term instead of fling and I also ask him do you have a girlfriend and he said no. He would prefer to date a girl with a. learning disabilities. It hasn't nothing with married. I only be in serious relationship 9 times and my 10 guy. Wasn't interested in sex and I was more interested in a long term relationship. I am virgin.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

With 7.6 Billion people in the world, there are so many "the ones". I think it's stupid for people not to test the waters & search, learn & grow to find someone that meets all their wants & needs. I had to sleep with at least 5 guys to learn what I REALLY liked in bed & date 3 guys to learn what I wanted in a life partner.

It's a stupid idea if you ask me.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Its not so much of “the one” but the one who you feel is just right for you. So i’ll say “the right one.” I’m looking for someone damn near on the same page of everything im into. I dont ever expect to meet Mr 100% but i’ve met many 80%... i just need Mr 95% 🤣 you made some good points tho

Alyssa11 · Answer

Sometimes you don’t find ‘the one’ because you’re stuck on somebody who is no good for you. Everyone has their person but you can’t meet them if you invest your time into somebody else. ‘The one’ is going to bring out the best in you, not the worst. If someone gives you bad feelings they’re not your person - don’t debate it.

exitseven · Answer

People just don't want to put in the work to really get to know somebody. After they have sex they already get back on their phones looking for somebody new. Then they are depressed because their relationships just don't seem to work out.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

" "the one" is supposed to fall out of nowhere, make all the right moves, say all the right things, no disagreements, birds singing around your head while you sniff flowers, perfect marriage and the carriage says "happily ever after" while you ride off into the sunset?"

Well, if that is what "the one" means, then no; I don't believe in that at all.

JosyJosy · Answer

Yayaaa, don't take it literally, they mean a person who they fall for and want to spend the rest of their lives with. Of course there are going to be many people who can pull that off.

putthefootdown · Answer

Thanks to the internet and social media, it's gradually fading, and thank goodness for that. I realised it about a year or two ago. It's such a weight off the shoulders. Knowing it's all hogwash all along.

LZPanzer · Answer

I'm pretty sure my "the one" died of covid half a world away in china.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Because its very possible. I have found the one. Been together since we were 12.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

You meet a couple ones in your life but not everyone you date is the one either

little_rose · Answer

you are absolutely correct in my opinion and I think the same too tbh

Anonymous · Answer

Who knows I certainly don't  I believe in the idea of the none given I have an expectation towards being single forever

smellfarts · Answer

Omg here we go. Let’s open a debate gag phone line. You set it up

apple_jack · Answer

I guess cause it is a comforting concept for a lot of people.

JamieLoves · Answer

They’re Fools and have bought into the myth. It’s a nice Fairytale 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️ ... It keeps people hopeful...

Anonymous · Answer

It's a romantic idea and people want to feel that they are special.

Why do people still believe in the idea of "the one"?

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