27 and never had a girlfriend. I don’t understand what I could do?

[Anonymous]

I have never been successful with women. I’m 27 and the pressure of leaving my singledom keeps piling up everyday. I have tried dating apps and they don’t lead me anywhere. I have approached women and that too doesn’t lead me anywhere.

Yes, I dress and groom myself. I hit the gym. I have a good career and actively hit the gym (yes, I’ve a macular body). I don’t creep around women. Despite all of that, I am still virgin and haven’t been in a relationship.

I’m just tired of failing and failing and asking people for feedback. None of this has gotten me anywhere. The loneliness is ruining my mental health from inside. I see a lot of people around me who are getting into relationships and some are getting married. I feel extremely embarrassed to even tell people that I’m virgin at the age of 27. I just hate being in this situation, especially when my efforts don’t yield any fruits.

[lightbulb27]

Face reality, accept that... and keep learning. It's a "lightbulb" you have to figure out. Something is going wrong, my guess is it's the way you project yourself, but I can't see you... you are a blue smurf.

I went through all that, gave up for years, messed up, failed long time til I succeeded recently. Observe people who are successful, be a pleasure to be around, take on new endeavors, learn dating skills, learn about women, be inquisitive about them, project confidence not fear, work on your masculine self emotionally. Dating is it's own animal to attract mates and get through the process. OLD is a mess.

[Asker]

Did you even read the description underneath the question? I have asked people for their feedback and tried their ways. None of that worked. I'm just getting tired of figuring it out everytime and getting nowhere.

[lightbulb27]

Yes but you ask about what to do. Best thing anyone can do is own their stuff and take responsibility. What works fir lebron James in bball won’t work for me… so you make decisions and own the results. Take the advice you want. I can only do so much when hidden behind a smurf icon. For me… I took it as a challenge and read. Observed… learned. I can share what I found helpful

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Ya gotta talk to them, a LOT. Stop wondering to yourself the whole time whether or not it will lead to anything. Stop caring and just live in the moment. Stop trying to plan your life with them mentally while you are talking to them. It comes off as desperation and you probably reek of it when you are around them. Talking to women, and eventually flirting is a skill, and no skill is inbred, you have to practice any skill to get even reasonably good at it. You don't just pick up a guitar and play dust in the wind, you gotta learn and practice that shit for hours on hours on hours before you can remotely carry the tune.

[Asker]

I don’t even plan the future I see a potential match. Like I have clearly stated, I don’t creep women out by acting desperate.

[Little_Bumblebee]

I'm gonna ask you, have you been genuinely interested in the women you've spoken with and/or approached?

And maybe consider whether or not you're more in love with the thought of a girlfriend than the actual person.

I know when I finally got my first boyfriend I realized much later that I had been in love with the idea of a boyfriend rather than my actual boyfriend.

[Asker]

Why would I be approaching women interest me?

[Asker]

Why would I be approaching women that* interest me?

[Little_Bumblebee]

Well, now it makes sense then

[PrettyPriya]

Have you tried meeting women in different ways? Like what is your go to thing to do to meet them?

[Asker]

Yes.

[DarkWinterNights]

51% of guys 18-30 are single. Close to 1/3rd in the same bracket are virgins. Your situation isn’t unique. Avoid dating apps. They aren’t designed for normal guys.
Guys are also usually SOL out of school if they don’t have a lot of female friends or larger friends groups.
Honestly get a dog or a cat to keep your company, focus on keeping yourself in good physical and financial shape, focus on your hobbies and look into joining singles groups, church groups or preferably just social groups in general.
Don’t look for a girlfriend, just look for friends and it will eventually come naturally.

[Asker]

I have yet to see that happening. I am in good physical and financial shape.

[OmegaDiver]

Sounds like you tried improving on the "logical side" of your dating skills. Looks, career, even confidence, are logical.

Try improving the "emotional side". You can be at your best in grooming, shape, confidence, skills etc... If she doesn't feel a thing she won't be interested.

I underestimated this aspect for too long.

[noohair]

First, I am not a medical professional. I am just giving my opinion. I don't fish but I will use this analogy. You can't make a fish bite the hook. You have to make the fish want to bite. You might be coming off as needy or desperate. One observation I have seen in women is, they want what they can't have. Put on a positive confident demeanor. And look for the true gems, not just the superficial ones. All the best.

[Asker]

What do you mean look for gems and not superficial ones? Do I look like some needy guy who is coming off as desperate to women? I just clearly stated that I don’t creep women out. I’m here complaining about my lack of success with women. My guy, did you even read what I put in there? I don’t lack confidence for sure and neither I’m too needy.

[cookiecrusher]

2 options man.

Start going to a church, tons of decent single women there.

Or a climbing gym, archery class etc. Somewhere active where women also go. Something that also interests you.

Live your life there, have fun, talk to few people and a woman will appear in your life.

[Asker]

I have done all of that and nothing has happened.

[cookiecrusher]

Doesn't sound like you are telling the truth.

And change locations after a while

[Asker]

I’m telling you the truth.

[Siren777]

Love finds you when you're not looking for it and trying too hard. Enjoy your life and focus on other things and it will come your way.

[Asker]

Yeah like when I’m going to turn 40 you mean?

[Siren777]

It doesn't matter the age.

[Asker]

It probably doesn’t matter to you, but it matters to me. I’m a human and my human body and brains can’t handle problems for prolonged periods.

[FilmGuy93]

Generally speaking, guys in your situation tend to make at least one of the following mistakes:

1. You aren't an interesting and engaging person for women to interact with. You don't "excite" women. You don't make them feel good.
2. The loneliness is showing through in your behavior and women pick up on that.
3. You aren't a good communicator and so you aren't able to pick up on the subtleties of interacting with a woman.

[Asker]

Do I sound like someone with autism to you for being socially so inept?

[FilmGuy93]

No, not necessarily. Communicating with women requires a level of social awareness that is difficult for most men to learn. That's why most people tend to date 5-ish women before finding the woman they marry. You learn through having those failures.

[Asker]

Well, what can I say? I didn't even have a start. I haven't dated one single woman. I have no relationship and dating experience. I feel like an absolute failure for not being able to even get dates. Yes, just the prospect of getting a date is impossible. I'm just tired of taking advices and following through, which haven't lead me anywhere. I'm already 27 now with 0 dating and relationship experience.

[FilmGuy93]

Well, all you can do is keep your chin up and make sure that you are as good as you can be.

[Asker]

Easier said than done. My psychological health is worsening.

[FilmGuy93]

Oh I know! Believe me. You have to take a moment to let yourself recover before trying to date again.

[Asker]

I have never dated. I have never went on a date. All of my attempts have failed.

[DWornock]

That is because you set your sights too high. Obviously, you don't appeal to beautiful girls because they can do better. You need to look for a big girl that is age 30 and a single mom.

[Asker]

Lmao. Why would I have to date single moms? 😂😂🤦‍♂️ Bad trolling attempt.

[DWornock]

Because, by your own admission, what you are doing is not working. The reason it is not working is because you are not attractive enough to appeal to the girls you want. It is not your fault that you are ugly it is just a fact of life. You have two choices; find a big girl and/or an older single mom or else do without.

[Asker]

You don’t even know what sort of women I have been chasing so far. Bad trolling lmao.

[DWornock]

I know it is not single moms. Regardless, of the type, you are not successful so you should seek a different type (probably less attractive) or else give up.

[Asker]

Mate, you’re really bad at trolling.

[DWornock]

It's obvious what your problem is. Since you are unable to recognize that you have a problem. I can't help you with words.

[JessieBellll]

He thinks he knows everything but he doesn't

[DWornock]

@JessieBellll Not everything. Assuming something doesn't come from nothing, I don't know how it is possible for the universe to exist.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

I feel you dude. 25 here and never had a girlfriend. My first sex was with an escort girl.
My issue is self confidence/esteem and shyness. Is it same with you?

[Asker]

Totally not the same. I have taken rejections from girls in bars and streets. Confidence and esteem isn’t something I lack in. I’m certainly not a shy guy.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Hm maybe you approach them too much like a macho

[Asker]

I don’t do that either.

[Avicenna]

Meeting someone can be totally random. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Be flexible.

[Asker]

I'm flexible. I'm not being hard on myself. My mental health is worsening. I feel like an utter trash everyday, because I still can't fulfill my needs and stuck where I usually am. The last thing I wanna do is be picky. I don't feel that I have options.

[IHateBeingaMan]

thats why i picked my username, due to my lifelong resentment of how guys, men, always have to be the initiators and court women, ask them out first, pursue

[Asker]

I know plenty of guys from all walks of life some of whom happen to be average joes and some tend be below average. Despite all of that, they get girls all the time.

[IHateBeingaMan]

well starts out how they normally do

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[IHateBeingaMan]

guys always being expected to talk to women first and hit them up first

[slatyb]

How many women do you greet by name what you see them?

[rabbitzzz]

Guess its time to quit job and go fishing in remote mountains in Canada.

[Asker]

Good idea! Euthanasia is legal there, too. I might as well try that.

[Anonymous]

This is why hookers exist. Men want women more than money and women want money more than men. It's human nature

[Chthou95]

It's over man. Look into the black pill. This will teach you about how difficult dating can be for men.

[Asker]

Not a fan of unscientific and consumer driven PUA facts.

[Chthou95]

This isn't pua. This is just the truth. I can send links if you want

[Asker]

Mate, MRA and MGTOW consumerist ideas don’t seem to convince me. I can accept alternative explanations for data, but not fabrication of it. This dangerous level of consumerism based around improving for scoring women and gaining their approval is far too nauseating and non-sensical. There’s no blue, red, and black pill. It’s just an idiots deluded worldview who doesn’t understand basic science.

[Chthou95]

Let's agree to disagree there. There's a lot of truth to what are said in these communities but of course no one can convince you otherwise and quite frankly i don't losing any sleep over it. Don't have a girlfriend at 27, there could be a lot of reasons. Figure it out

[Anonymous]

Another reminder of what I can't stand and it'll never change

[Anonymous]

I’m 27 and a virgin too. Just be thankful you’re a guy and still have more than enough time on your hands.

[chilldude33]

you guys are perfect for each other 👀

[Opinion Owner]

Are u a matchmaker?

[Asker]

Oh wow! How very appalling and disgusting of you to be saying such thing! Just because you're a woman and have a biological clock for having kids doesn't make your problems any worser than mine. How am I supposed to be thankful? I'm just a human being like you. I have my psychological and social needs that I'm not able to fullfil. I feel extremely pathetic everyday. You're trying to act like as if you being a woman with similar problems as mine is somehow having it worse. Give me a break and learn a damn thing about empathy.

[Opinion Owner]

Would my offering to sext with you make you feel better?

[Asker]

I’m not even remotely interested in the idea of texting you and let alone sexting. Your blatant sexism is just so appalling and your responses don’t really leave a good impression of you. I’ll do as any sane adult would, “Thanks for the generous offer, but I’ll pass.”

[Opinion Owner]

Aww, just my luck.

[Vegasrunner]

What feedback were you given?

[JamesRandiDebates]

Prostitute. Fix you right up.

[Tiger288]

Screw them