Why do I find it so annoying when other women are so shallow about who they date?

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman who recently realized how annoying other women are about their “standards” when it comes to choosing a partner. I’m actually frustrated and can empathize completely now with men who complain about women passing them up.
You know what I’m talking about by standards — “he must be over 6 foot, make at least 6 figures or more than me, be handsome and ripped, work out 8 days a week, and have a good family” or whatever the list is. I’m sorry but this is so funny to me. Most women (statistically speaking) don’t even make 6 figures... so why is this a must have for the men they date? The average woman makes like 50-60K I think. Then the height thing about being over 6 feet tall... again average woman is like 5’4 so WHY THE FUCK does your guy have to be over 6 foot when most men will be taller than you anyways? “I’m 5’10” in heels” smh.
I really always considered myself a supporter of women and I really do want people to succeed around me but these standards are fucking outrageous. I don’t see on their list anywhere “treats me with respect” or anything like that. That should always be first... how someone even treats you and makes you feel.
I see women sleep with men who make like 400K and the guy treats them like SHIT but they are grateful that the guy hooked up with them? Ladies where is your respect for yourselves?
I’m starting to get really frustrated with how shallow so many women are, and I’m not even a guy or their target!
Oh, and even if a guy matches all the boxes perfectly to a T she’ll still talk to other men or complain about some attribute that’s not perfect. SMH.
Also most of these women aren’t even that attractive themselves. Honestly the most beautiful women I’ve met don’t even have boyfriends/husbands who meet these standards with height, etc. I find it beyond annoying. And because of these shallow women, who by the way are also players and complain about men, the good men are leaving the dating scene and saying “fuck it!”

[MCheetah]

Thank you for writing this. But I'm afraid women the world over, will now declare you to be an "incel" and tell you some crap.
"If you were more positive, you'd have someone by now, but it's only your sh*tty attitude as the reason you're single, and not us being sh*tty to you as the reason you're single."

I recently learned this is called S. I. G. N. Language: Shaming, Insulting, Guilting, and Never Being Wrong.

>> "I’m actually frustrated and can empathize completely now with men who complain about women passing them up."

I'm 5'11", dark-skinned, and not handsome looking. I'm going to die alone and will never have a woman love me or be a romantic partner because of this. The latter two are somewhat negotiable, but being too short for modern women is the real Kiss of Death. And I never had a loving mother growing up or anything either, so I almost never had a woman who truly loved me or accepted me as I am. And as a man, I'm also told I'm "not supposed to complain about women sh*tting on me left and right for things I was BORN as and that if I do so, it's entirely the fault of my frustrations, and not everything proceeding it." Good thing I don't listen to these cunts anymore. If I'm destined by fate to be alone, at least I'm going to be vocal in how much it sucks sometimes.

>> “He must be over 6 foot, make at least 6 figures or more than me, be handsome and ripped, work out 8 days a week, and have a good family...”

You know what the worst part is? Women try to deny they'd ever want this in a man or that this is common among women, but when you ask them who they're currently dating, it's ALWAYS a f*cking Chad like this. ALWAYS! 100% of the goddamn time! But then they try to go,
"Oh, well, *I* didn't choose to be with him because he's 6'3, has a six-pack of abs, and makes $70K a year! Those are just *coincidental!* I'd still love him if he was 4'8, missing his limbs, and mentally ill! Promise, tee hee!"

So yeah, women say they don't want this in men, but all their boyfriends/husbands end up being this man.

>> "Most women (statistically speaking) don’t even make 6 figures... so why is this a must have for the men they date?"

Because of the Disney Princess Syndrome women have nowadays.
"I'm a woman! You're supposed to wine me and dine me! You're supposed to give me what I want, when I want it! I'm the one who'll make your babies (even though I don't really want kids and wouldn't leave my job if I ended up having kids, to begin with, which is the whole point). A woman makes a house a home and you're supposed to PROVIDE for her! That's your one job, as a man! To make *me* happy!"

This is the modern Western woman, nowadays. A feminist, but at the same time, wants men to spoil her and pay for her dinners, clothes, shoes, and bills, and be her pay-pig financial slave. And so many pathetic men are willing to simp for these women, as well! That's why we have the OnlyFans culture we have. And the average woman makes $32,000 a year, by the way. The average North American *household* makes $64,000 a year. That's two full time working adults living together.

>> WHY THE F*CK does your guy have to be over 6 foot when most men will be taller than you anyways? Because 'I’m 5’10” in heels?'

There are multiple layers to this, but the "short" version is, most women's IDEAL/DREAM man will be a bare minimum of 183 cm, barefoot, at the end of the day with spinal compression. Women ARE willing to be with men below that height, but they don't respect these men. Short men are exploited for their resources; they're not "marriage material." They're "he'll buy me things" material. To women, they're simps. But yeah, their IDEAL guy, though? The one they truly want to marry? Gotta be six foot minimum, or five inches more than her if she's at least 5'7"/170 cm. So for a tall enough woman, six feet isn't even enough for a man.

[MCheetah]

>> "I really always considered myself a supporter of women and I really do want people to succeed around me but these standards are outrageous. I don’t see on their list anywhere 'treats me with respect' or anything like that. That should always be first."

Plenty of men know you do NOT need to treat a woman with any respect. Like, at all. Whatsoever. The Jerk Theory, as it's called. Or, "women love bad boys." Here's the thing, though. Most guys WANT to be good to women; WANT to treat women with respect, love, and care. Especially if she's the mother to his kids. But to women, it's all100% counter-intuitive. The nicer you treat a woman, the more she sees you as a simp, takes you for granted, and thinks of you as "clingy and desperate." You either HAVE to be a Chad and/or treat a woman like complete sh*t in order for her to be with you. And many women are too stupid to see how much their guy sh*ts on them; they find it "cute" or endearing because she's already enamored with him, by then. I never in my life was willing to treat a woman badly just for her to respect me. And I'm too short/ugly to ever qualify as a "Chad," as I said. So that means I'm dying alone! 🤷‍♂️

[MCheetah]

>> "I see women sleep with men who make like 400K and the guy treats them like SH*T but they are grateful that the guy hooked up with them? Ladies where is your respect for yourselves? I’m starting to get really frustrated with how shallow so many women are, and I’m not even a guy or their target!"

Ah, so you've seen clips of The Tinder Swindler, too? Treat a woman with respect and care, and she'll see you as a beta, clingy, and pathetic. Literally con them out of six figures and they'll still cry for you and think of you as "a good and misunderstood man." And yes, WAY MORE women are like this than women will ever admit. I'd day it's a small majority of all women who are like this, if I had to guess. Like 55%, bare minimum. Like I said though, I'd rather keep my dignity and respect, than to marry someone I had to verbally and physically abuse just to get her to like me. And yet, no one will ever sympathize with a man.

>> "Oh, and even if a guy matches all the boxes perfectly to a T she’ll still talk to other men or complain about some attribute that’s not perfect."

Yup. You can quite literally never be good enough for modern women. Look at Jeff Bezos' divorce. Guy is the richest dude on the planet. His wife: "Why don't you make more money?"

[MCheetah]

>> "Also most of these women aren’t even that attractive themselves."

The Lizzo Complex. They can be as fat, ugly, and horrendous in personality as possible, and you as a man, I'd just supposed to put up with it, or be called "a misogynist" and get Canceled if you don't. And women wonder why MGTOW is a f*cking thing or why Incels exist.



>> " I find it beyond annoying. And because of these shallow women, who by the way are also players and complain about men, the good men are leaving the dating scene and saying 'f*ck it'!"

(*raises hand*) Guilty as f*cking charged! Five years ago, any man or woman would've described me as the most gentlemanly of men out there. But you're 100% right. There's only so much a guy can be sh*t on because he's too short or too ugly for modern women. Like, I so had enough. I was on the path of becoming an Incel myself. But I didn't want to be that. I decided I had to walk away from modern dating and try to better myself as a person, before these modern women pulled me into the abyss of despair I was heading towards. My whole life, all I ever wanted was a woman who'd love me unconditionally and to build a loving family with her. I didn't give up that dream until I was 30. The Red Pill is a bitter one for any man to swallow.

[MCheetah]

But seriously, OP, P. M me. (Send me a Private Message.)
I'd like to discuss this manner more with you.
I think you're the same woman who said she had Victoria's Secret model measurements and was a redhead and had that selfie with the black stockings and white tee.

It's so refreshing to see another woman state these things we're all thinking. (Assuming you ARE a woman and not a catfish.) I'd really like to discuss this further, though. Because you hit the nail on the head with all of it!

So send me a message.

[caring__1]

I agree their standards are shallow, but they are their standards. We all have preferences. No one likes to be judged for their preferences. View it like you view a dinner out with friends. Chances are, everyone won't order the same menu items as you, yet you probably won't be annoyed by them ordering something different. We understand this may be their loss, but it is their preference. As long as they aren't pushing their preferences onto you, just let it go in one ear and out the other. They're not going to change as a result of you getting annoyed.

[Asker]

It’s just that even if they’re dating someone with those checkboxes they’re still unhappy. I don't know, unhappy people just stress me out. Because then you pick up on their energy in turn.

[caring__1]

Limit your contact with these types of people and gravitate toward those who have positive energy. Find better settings to meet people. Don't keep returning to the same places and expect things to be different.

[Cherry234]

Everyone is shallow to some extent. People are always going to have preferences even if some of them are unrealistic. Even though it bothers you, you can't really do anything about it. Sorry. They are limiting themselves if their standards are too high and unrealistic, but they're not hurting anyone. I'm 5'5 and I just want a guy to be taller than me or at least the same height. I don't have that 6 ft height requirement.

[SecretsofKB]

I don't think this is as common as you are making it out to be. And it is something that is found in men also.

I agree, being shallow isn't the best trait for anyone though.

[Asker]

Interesting. I guess I could only speak off of what I’ve heard from other women. I thought men weren’t that picky, or at least claim they’re not.

[ACR130]

🤣 A man's list is only 3 things
1.) She better not be a bitch
2.) She better know how to cook
3.) She better be atractive

[MCheetah]

@SecretsofKB
And here's the women, to try to deny any fault or blame on something most men know to be pretty damn factual. "Yeah, women are like this, but what about men! Men are the ones who REALLY suck!" I know you already said before you're gay, but it still was within your nature to try to deny and deflect what she said, wasn't it?

[Phoenix-gb]

Thank you for saying this, hopefully this trend will reverse at some point as it's really fuelling the spike in men's mental health issues right now. And as you say, those who would treat them with respect and think the world of them are either adopting the bad habits of those who do get chosen, or just checking out entirely, which is bad for those women who are more open to the average guy.

[Kaamraj]

It is what it is, the main contributor to this phenomenon has been social media which as really globalized the sexual marketplace and inflated women's perception of their own sexual mean value (SMV). So I tell men to return the energy that they get from women. Apart form the height part which is genetic, everything else is in a man's control; work hard and make more money, work out and get a good body, and when you do reach that 10% threshold, treat women just like they had been treating you.

[mark000h]

Thank you for writing this. I don't really have anything to add on what @Phoenix-gb or @MCheetah already said.

[Anonymous]

Young on both sides are shallow. It's not just one side. They'll wise up and settle down when they get older and they realize there's things more important than money, good looks, and a big dick.

[Asker]

I don’t have any luck either. I am really skinny and tall and people tell me I’m pretty all the time, I cook, nanny, am kind, and have apparently what men would want, yet I’m perpetually single LOL

[Opinion Owner]

I don't have answers. I just observe and report.

Too skinny? Too tall? Apparently you DON'T have what men want. I'll tell you this much, stay offline. You'll rarely meet a quality guy there.

[Asker]

I’m 5’9” and 120 pounds and have modeled, have long red hair. Men stare at me at the gym and are usually over 6 feet tall but no one makes a move really. And I’ve done online dating and had some dates but not a long term relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

Not sure what to tell you. I personally don't care for redheads, never have. I don't care for women my height or more, as I'm 5'9" too. I actually prefer under 5'2".

That said, it doesn't mean you aren't pretty or attractive. I'm sure you are. You're just not MY cup of tea, and maybe not someone else's either.

Keep at it hunny. You'll find someone, someday. You sound like a decent woman with lots of compassion and abilities to care for someone. Those are good things. Don't get mad, go sour, or speculate that is you... it's not. You've a lot of good qualities that most don't recognize. That's not your fault.

Quit looking. I tried the online thing for 12 years and absolutely nothing except, fakes, scammers and shallow twits. Not ONE answer to ANY nice, polite, "hi I'm... care to chat?", message I ever sent... in 12 years. I found the one I'm with now by getting offline and out in the world, running a cash register in a convenience store. I wasn't even looking. I'd pretty much resigned myself to the trash heap, but looky there, I'm in a relationship and I couldn't be happier. She's now the manager.

You'd be surprised what you'll find when not looking. The harder you try, the worse it gets because you expect. Don't expect anything from anyone, and the funniest things happen. Ease up on yourself. Relax. Maybe your putting out a desperate vibe? Maybe you seem needy? Look in the mirror and do a genuine self assessment.

Good luck

[tzdc21]

Seeing women like you realize the reality gives me hope.

[Anonymous]

Women while they are young get way more attention than men, constant ego boost makes them like that way you described. Plus women are historically hypergamous. That's why you can always see young men and older women are struggling to get partners.

[Asker]

Well I’m young and attractive but don’t get a lot of attention. Then again I don’t use social media much.

[driven159]

both sexes are that way because it's all about look at me see what I have

[Asker]

@driven159 I don’t think I have any value to men then. Because otherwise I wouldn’t have a hard time finding someone.

[driven159]

no, you won't have value to those kinds of men, but you will have a better man that doesn't have those values they have a deeper value system

[Asker]

Okay who has value to those men?

[Asker]

@driven159 Okay who has value to those men?

[driven159]

there is someone for you it just has not come yet but it will it comes when you least expect it when you think it won't happen it falls right in your lap trust me on that

[driven159]

a woman that is wise smart loving honest not fake classy a good lessener a helper more beautiful inside then out

[driven159]

a real man wants that not the fake ones

[Asker]

Hot guys stare at me but barely anyone makes a move. A lot of these negative thoughts could be in my head I don't know. But I’m around affluent men a lot with where I live/go daily.

[driven159]

and a man that knows every woman is sexy and beautiful in some way and that's the truth

[driven159]

you sound like just a average hard-working man is your type of good husband and father

[driven159]

if I was young, I would be looking for a woman like you down to earth a soulmate

[In_Trance]

I don't know why you pay it ant attention

[Asker]

I didn’t until one of my girl friends started talking about her boyfriend and how she’s talking to other men too even though he’s perfect.