Men, if you don’t have your “shit together “ will you decline a relationship even if you like the woman?

[Anonymous]

If you eventually want to find love and even are interested in someone but your living situation, finances, career, etc aren’t exactly where you want them…. Will you put a stop to a potential relationship with her? Will this make you unavailable emotionally? Do men care more about these things than to move forward with someone they like?

[Anonymous]

Oh yeah, definitely. I mean I could meet someone absolutely wonderful but not pursue things with them because of where I’m at in life. My life is generally unstable.

Women make men very insecure. Say whatever you want, women evaluate men based off their status—job, finances, house, living situation, car, body etc. Men know when we are losers, we see other people around us doing better than us. Why would we expose ourselves to some woman judging us for where we’re at in life?

Besides. Dating costs money. Women cost money. No, they don’t need you to pay, but it’s expected. Again, more limitations on what you can do and where you can go, and more chance at embarrassment and quiet judgment.

[Asker]

That really sucks. I started falling for this guy who yeah…. He’s trying to get his shit together and he broke things off because he said is going through too much in his life right now.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s pretty common actually. I would say just give him some time, hit him up in maybe a month or three and see if he’d like to catch up over coffee or something. It may be that there is some spark still there and that he is in a better place.

[jestergent]

This is a different way to say it, but it's even more dead on. The preconceived /anticipated judgement is enough to save our dignity and shame, and simply decline offers to date or hang out with 'an' excuse or the real reason, or no reason given at all.

It's too much at the moment how to evaluate it, as a woman it might be simple to accept when a guy declines and don't think hard on it. It can boost your confidence knowing the rejection doesn't always have to do with you.

[jestergent]

Yes this happened to me once. If finances are bad enough you just might not know why he rejected your invitation. I hope she finds out why it couldnt be, one day. Had nothing to do with her.

[DarkWinterNights]

I’ve self sabotaged myself quite a lot for that reason..

[EssenceOfLight]

No. A woman can be great muse and motivator if a guy is down.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to make someone happy when you're struggling to survive.

[josephinelcajon]

I have and some say too long.

[Slim57]

Sometimes, depends how I feel