Ladies, do you need a man? Guys, are independent women a turn on/off to you?

[Pinay_ako]

The “I don’t need a man independent woman” kind

Ladies, do you need a man to complete you?
Guys, how do you feel about these women who say they don’t need you?

[ObscuredBeyond]

Many of these girls don't know how badly they do need a man, and make a fool of themselves every time they pretend otherwise. But they're not mature enough to be ready for a husband.

Chloe Roma said it best: They treat men the way they do, not because they want a husband, but because they never got over the father in their lives that was never there. They aren't looking for their husbands, they're still searching for that time with their fathers that they lost, trying to chase down that innocent childhood that life stole from them very prematurely.

What these women can't accept, is that a man can be your dad, or your hubby, but it's a fool's errand to expect him to be both, and he'll resent it.

This psychology isn't without a parallel. If a man finds out that his girlfriend can't at minimum be as patient and understanding a listener as his own mother, he might not trust her with becoming his wife. Men who had healthy relationships with their mothers, will seek out women who extol the same virtues, while seeking to avoid the same pitfalls. Men who had horrible relationships with their own mothers, will seek out the good mother they never had. But if a bitch is all he knows, that's all he'll find.

In my case, I seek out whoever can give me the time of day. If she can't at least be as patient as my mom when I make a discovery and want to elaborate on it, then she's not going to get very far with me.

I lacked consistent, deep, lifelong, intelligent, committed friends most of my childhood. So that's what I seek out in women. Only to find most these days are fairweather at best, and often very shallow.

I seek out great minds, with which to discuss ideas. I'll sometimes settle for average minds, that can discuss things. But most of what I find are the small-minded. And just when I think I've broken the loop, it starts all over again.

So in the end, I'm like Bill Murray, trying not to have a Groundhog Day bad romance anymore.

[anon1903]

Are you neo Freudian? You sound like one.

[Malwins3]

@anon1903 he's right

[anon1903]

Ever heard of Freud? You guys sound like his tribe.

[anon1903]

"Your parents define you. Don't wanna be a screw up? Build a time machine and stop your mom from getting pregnant!" Simple. It's psychological science.

[ObscuredBeyond]

@anon1903 : They don't have to be one's total definition. But they can become part of it, subconsciously, because they're whom you primarily learn from when you're young.

It's not DNA, it's learning. If you never met your mom, but a caretaker that became a surrogate in your mind handled things a certain way when you were young, whether you agree or disagree, you define yourself from what you learned from watching her.

That's not Freud; that's John B. Watson. An extremist, perhaps; but he had a point.

[SakuraBlossoms87]

@ObscuredBeyond - "In my case, I seek out whoever can give me the time of day. If she can't at least be as patient as my mom when I make a discovery and want to elaborate on it, then she's not going to get very far with me."

And then there are men who never ever appericate a good woman no matter what she does or tries to do. Take my boyfriend - facing potential deportation, excessive bills, etc. I've been extremely patient - would YOU stay with your girlfriend is she didn't text you in 2 months - and yet nothing I do is ever good enough. All he focuses on is what I do wrong no matter how minor it is and this was even on the first date we had.

[ObscuredBeyond]

@SakuraBlossoms87 : To distract from his own impending problems. He can't stand feeling like he's the worst, so he needs assurance someone out there is worse than he is. He's not ready for you. You're not even what he needs. What he needs, is professional intervention, as well as financial and legal advice. He's screwed himself, and you can't fix what's broken.

[anon1903]

You could have just said that you should appreciate people for what they do for you but no you've gotta be a creep and compare it to your mom.

[anon1903]

Your way of speaking almost reminded me of when Freud was talking to one of his colleagues and said colleague said they dreamed about animals and carts and Freud had to get weird and say they wanted to fuck their mother lmfao 🤣🤣

[anon1903]

Like I'm not saying that our parents don't our lives and behaviour, I'm really not, they're a huge part of it.

But it's creepy as hell to compare your partner to your parents. It just is.

[anon1903]

PS. I thought watson was better than that but I guess not.

[ObscuredBeyond]

@anon1903 : Read again carefully. I stated that outside of family, I didn't have many stable friends. Everyone at home was also overcommitted. So stability is that unicorn I always chase, but can never catch.

[anon1903]

I sympathize.

[anon1903]

But what's with the other weird association? Dragging your folks everywhere as if that's the most normal think about heterosexual romances.

[SakuraBlossoms87]

@ObscuredBeyond - that or merely taking advantage of my love. I have increasingly felt he thinks if he gives me breadcrumbs I would be happy with the situation whereas if I wanted I could find someone else. I have a good caring & compassionate nature and I am not unattractive. But I was raised on European standards and that means to be loyal and try to make things work. But as you said, you can't fix what's broken.

[ObscuredBeyond]

@SakuraBlossoms87 : Not when he did the breaking to himself. He has to accept responsibility for his failures, even if that gets him deported. Trying to shield him will only bring you down.

[ObscuredBeyond]

@anon1903 : I mentioned stability. Mainly, emotional stability. The need for it is rooted in nature. If she's too crazy to be your girlfriend, you don't want her to be the mother of your kids.

But you need good examples to avoid bad ones. The kids in the neighborhood where I grew up were really f*ked up. Probably all the drugs going around. It impedes social learning.

You're the one trying to read Freud into it, but Freud isn't necessary.

[anon1903]

If she's too crazy, break it off with her. You ain't her rehab or whatever. Mother of your children? Now that's heteronormative!

[TruthBringer]

Independence is not the issue. It's arrogance and being obnoxious that are the problem. If your "independence" comes at a cost of being a healthy significant other, then yes it is a turn off.

If you're the "I don't need no man" type of person, then do us all a favor and stay single. Independence is part of being a mature adult. So nothing new. Both my girlfriend and I are independent but we still have come together to enhance each other's lives. We add to each other's lives making life more enjoyable and 'bearable'.

[cryscrys1]

Do you need a men do you need a wife is so tiring already! And in the US it’s such an every day topic. Over talked seems like a joke sometimes. Americans and their fried brain I am done. They have lost sense of reality. So out of touch what’s going on with the world. Go to Tanzania for to Africa for a f sake go to the Balkans to Eastern Europe go see how REAL women and MEN A C T
Don’t just look at Africa and Europe from TV!
Oh but Boston Cream is the best lazy Americans get the fuck out of your comfort zone: Elon Musk and his flying cars be fooling your asses.



Do you need a men do you need a women ! The government wants to create babies in labs from scratch to use their souls as slaves for the modern world !! so LOVE dies FAMILIES die EMPATHY dies HUMANITY dies CULTURES die and HUMANS go out of date.. that’s WHY this war is happening between a female and a male human and removing BABIES GENDER making it a f * NEutRal gEndEr
Are you ThAT ignorant not to even understand what is going on.
Women pay 50 - 50 men do this women do that and this … it’s such a scam I’m scared how dumb humans are. How can human specie be so dumb so dumb mf dumb I’m so done I am about to explode


After reading this sure go back to sleep you f sheep

[itsalyssaagain]

You know what. I’m independent. But do I need a man? Yes I fucking do.

I need to be held by someone every night when I go to bed.

I need someone to physically and emotionally appreciate my body that I work very hard for in the gym ESPECIALLY when I’m wearing something sexy.

I need someone to carry my groceries for me and drive long distances and fucking parallel park for me.

I NEED A MAN AND I AM SO BOTHERED.

Thank you. (My period is due today so that probably explains the outburst).

[Vázquez613]

You have two hands; do it yourself.

[Softlife808]

Lmfaooooo

[itsalyssaagain]

Suck my dick

[Pinay_ako]

I love your brutal honesty! Keep it up!

[itsalyssaagain]

Thanks!! Haha

[MaddyAsks]

Couldn't agree more!

[itsalyssaagain]

Yeah it would be nice sometimes!

[coachTanthony]

Women can do it themselves leave them alone.

[RavVid]

The question goes both ways of cause. We all need somebody else for non-masturbatory sex.

But is that all there is? Is there more to motor vehicle maintenance than topping up the oil? That is a figurative question.

I would suggest there is indeed a lot more than non-masturbatory sex and topping up the oil. The strength of a couple is there are two peoples knowledge and experience combined. That's two the point that male and female brains are structurally different and from an evolutionary viewpoint it makes sense that in a pair bonding species both sides bring different things to the common table.

Dropping back to motor vehicle maintenance a girl I knew, who didn't need a man, took her car to the shop to fix the air conditioning. She knew you take cars to the dealer right? They replaced the compressor three times in a row. I offered to call the dealer and after the third compressor she realized she didn't know thermodynamics. I called went through the symptoms and pointed out that it couldn't be the compressor (that they wanted to change for the fourth time) and politely suggested they could look at the expansion valve. It was of course the expansion valve.

In terms of the 'don't need a man', that phrase is saying I'm arrogant enough to think nobody else can bring anything to the table.

Nobody likes an arrogant person, particularly when they are arrogant in their ignorance.

It is not a matter of a turn on or turn off. Men are simply happy to leave arrogant women to solve their car air conditioning woes on their own.

[Kaliix]

who's talking about sex? Since masturbation is better, easier, faster, more practical, I don't see any point in including this aspect in life at all, I don't understand why people think that we have to simplify sex in a relationship, you can still stick to masturbation, at least people are honest with yourself and not pretending that sex is more enjoyable. As for the rest - you can easily handle everything yourself. So answer is simple.

[RavVid]

@Kaliix In terms of the question of 'needing a man' or the inverse of 'needing a girl' sex is implicit as is love and the rest of the deal.

Nonetheless I'm glad machines work for you.

Still I'd rather not see an independent woman independently amputating the tip of her finger trying to independently fix her car. She should of course independently called a manned roadside assist service.

There was quite a good youtube video that you might get a laugh out of. A group of independent women were changing a tire and were surprised when the car fell down.

[Kaliix]

there are things in which we are better/worse, so it's good to have a someone, but I still don't see the need to pretend that sex is important and needed in a relationship with such arguments. People are not honest with themselves. With the rest- right. Without love, no one will need sex.

[RavVid]

@Kaliix I am glad we are going through a few ever decreasing circles. It is true I have been taking it that sex is a self obvious requirement. I don't think 'without love, no one will need sex' is the way we work though I would acknowledge a degree of truth. A man could get a lot of multi-partner sex but desire a girl he can lovingly cuddle in the morning.

I would regardless rate Madame Stael's quip 'The desire of the man is for the woman but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man' is mostly true. Hot sex is however a good substitute for 'true love'.

One of the profound differences between humans all other species - excepting maybe 4 - is estrus is hidden. In other species all the boys know when the girl is ovulating and are not interested otherwise. Human boys are always taking pot luck with human girls as a consequence.

From an evolutionary behavioral outlook this has profound consequences on human society in my view. Your view may vary.

[Pegases]

Independent women are only a turn off when they go out of their way to state that they don't need a man, which is quite often the case. It would be weird if men walked around saying they dont need a woman, but for some reason most independent women dont realize how odd it is for them flaunt their independence, in the same nuaseating way that men with nothing to offer but money, showcase their wallets. Further, it's practically impossible to build anything with a woman that deosnt believe men and women need each other. So I think most men see it as a red flag, because in most cases, it's a safe bet to assume it is.

[anon1903]

That's true. It's as annoying as a nice guy flaunting his niceties. Like, let people decide if you're a nice guy or independent woman... You don't need to flex in their face lmao.

[TalynMere]

Nothing wrong with an independent woman, as long as she's still a person and not trying to really force and enforce the idea that she'll never be with anyone.

Just be yourself, be natural and not forced behavior, and enjoy what you like and don't like.

The only "independent women" I can't stand are the ones who feel it's necessary to keep constantly hitting the point home that they don't need anyone.

Like yeah I get it, you're super strong and beautiful and powerful and amazing and a god and everyone loves you and you'll never do anything wrong and you're perfect, but, all I did was open the door for you because it's an unconscious habit. I don't hate you and don't think you're incapable of opening the door, I just did it because I did it.

[williael]

I applaud you!

[b-river]

Dependency in a relationship is something that should be talked about every time, and it should be balanced. If it works for both sides, that's great! For me, I think people should be okay by themselves before they try and take someone else into their life. Thus, I like women who have their own goals and go after it, extremely attractive when they're busy or need to take vare of something. But, after that, relationships for me should become partnerships, where two people work with one amother as a team. Sure, you may be okay if you broke up, but while you're together you should do what you can together, have someone by your side, with balance of what you can do by yourself. That's just for me though :)

[sheenagwapa]

i live men in fact in my life i give highest priority to romantic love, i do anything foe love but if i do not like your character even if your the wealthiest, most hamdsome man here on earth i don't wanna be eith you. havinh a preference doesn't mean arrogance.


somr men when they are rich and powerful they wpuld think you are abnormal if you don't like them. that something is wronh with you. they choose women like choosinh a product in a grocery store. but romantic relationship is a two-way street the womam choose too


don't accuse me i don't need a man just because i do not like yoy to be my mate

[Little_Bumblebee]

No, I don't NEED a man.
I don't feel incomplete when I'm single.

If I want to date someone, it's because I want them to add to my quality of life and because I like them as a person. They would be the accessory. They should be the bonus, not the requirement for my happiness.

[Pinay_ako]

Yas 👏

[TheIrishWolf]

I agree 100%. I'm the same: happiness should come from yourself, and not by depending on someone else. You need to be happy before your can merge it with some else. Not as two halves, but two wholes.

But I wouldn't look at it as if they're and addition you can just rid of. You can. But then whos going to protect you, do the heavy lifting, teach your kids to be tough, to be men and then gentlemen.

A woman can only do so much for a child, which is important. Its one of the things us men need from a woman, alongside love and financial contribution.

Ultimately, we need each other to survive and prosper well, but not to have a shelter over our heads. We can do it ourselves, obviously. We need each other.

[Little_Bumblebee]

@TheIrishWolf Protect me from what though?
And I don't want to need to rely on someone. I don't want to put myself in such a vulnerable position where I'm dependent on someone. And I certainly don't want to be a burden either.

(Also, your answer assumes I want kids. I would only be open to the idea if I found the right person to have kids with, a true partner. But I would rather not have kids, than be a single mom or have kids with the wrong person.)

A great man is amazing to be with and adds to your life, I'm sure men feel that with women as well.
But if you're with the wrong person, it can ruin you.

This is just why I see them as an addition, a bonus. Cause I'm better off without the wrong man.

I've been single for a while because I needed to get over an unhealthy relationship. To me, that really showed me that I would rather be single than be with someone that isn't right for me.
Which is why I don't see it as a 'need' in life. But an option, a bonus in my life.

[TheIrishWolf]

"Protect me from what though?": from unhealthy men; to keep you feeling safe and secure.

I admire your independence. It's a trait I like to see in women, and it's very attractive. But don't take this personally: I think your mindset can be divisive, and I wouldn't like to see that happening. You seem like a nice person.

It seems like you don't trust the opposite sex because of your unhealthy relationship in the past. I'm sorry you had to experience that, were not all like that. Most of us are good. If he made you feel like an addition, he can fuck right off!

You have to be willing to risk vulnerability to find someone. Take this from a man. That shits hard for us. Feelings and all that... 😂😀😊😐😑😶👀

Everybody is better off without the wrong person. No argument there. But everybody is better off with love in their life. It just doesn't have to be now, tomorrow, in a week, a month, a year, or two years.

Take time off, work on yourself. In fact, that's what i'm doing now. I don't care for a relationship right now. I want to build my character up and be happy on my own so I have lots to offer for her and our future children, and anyone in my life.

Ask yourself what your 3 most important values are in a relationship. Be realistic. For example, mine are: Loyal, Communicates, Reasonable. Stick to yours and align yourself to them. And don't confuse chemistry with capability. Also, you have to be what you're looking for.

Just remember: we do need each other.

I hope this helps and I wish you all the best. 😊

Keep on buzzing little bee. 🐝

[Little_Bumblebee]

@TheIrishWolf Hey, sorry for the slow reply, but it's difficult to answer such a long message over the phone.

Luckily I do live in a fairly safe country, so it's not that big of a problem or issue to need someone to protect me from the bad men.
And I wouldn't like the thought of someone I cared about getting hurt or getting in a fight because of me (or in general). So I don't have the thought that I need someone to protect me and be a human shield...

It's not that I don't trust men. I don't want it to sound like I hate men.
I'm just not ready to date or to trust someone like that just yet.
But I absolutely know of great men. I've dated great guys and I have some great guy friends as well.
So It's not like I'm saying what I'm saying because I hate men.

And I certainly am taking time off and working on myself. I've been single for over two years, healing and getting over the past. I just haven't been ready to date again, and honestly. I'm also scared to do so. - especially because it seems like the dating scene is in shambles.

Thank you for your correspondence. I really appreciate your replies and how you've been handling this conversation along with your tone, it was a nice breath of fresh air :)

[TheIrishWolf]

You seem like you're on the right track, so.

I'm glad you don't hate men and have relationships with them. Otherwise, that shit can be toxic. You can get extreme feminism (or modern-day feminism, as they call it), thats so divisive. Then you have men and their "red pill" Andrew Tate following misogyny bullshit. 😂

"And I wouldn't like the thought of getting hurt by someone I cared about getting hurt because of me..."

If you're somebody's girlfriend, they're gonna protect you. Embrace his masculinity. It's partly what it means to be a man, if you ask me. And history and nature certainly knows it.

Let the man be a man, as long as he's not being a lunatic. Were idiot monkey brains sometimes. We need women to analyse and explain that to us. No woman has ever started a war. 😂

And no worries for chatting. I had fun.

And now worries about the late reply, shit took me ges to reply last time and now. But I was dedicated. 😂 😂 😂

🐝

[Orion76]

I never really thought about it, but I’ll tell you an experience I had with a woman that’s independent I guess.


I made sure I took care of everything where she wouldn't ever have to worry about a job or a bill or whatever, I guess she felt dependent and lazy and lost motivation her words and eventually we went separate ways it was my way of showing love but what she needed is someone who would keep her motivated and would not feel like a safety net so can’t slack. I thought it’s good when someone have your back. But apparently it’s not always the case.

[Orion76]

I never discouraged anyone from work or learn any self improvement and would have accepted an offer to help if necessary.

[777GgG]

Sorry this image has nothing to do with needing a man. I've meet men who have no knowledge whatsoever about cars, the blasphemy. So this could easily be two men, or a woman watching a man.

On top of that what's wrong with not knowing how to do something and asking for help? Whether it's changing your oil or any other task?

I do think we all need someone for companionship, conversation, etc.

[Pinay_ako]

It’s a meme. Relax

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

I do not need a man. A man would be a bonus, an asset to my life but without one I can be just as happy and fulfilled, it’s like wether or not you have a best friend, having one to experience life with is great but I do not need one I have other things / people that make me happy

[Pinay_ako]

I like this answer very much.

[JSmuve]

Women who have life skills that she can bring to enrich my life are desirable. No guy wants to be in a relationship with a woman who has the life skills of a 14 yo.

However, women who don't know how to make me feel wanted are an utter turn off.

It's never been about "independence". It's always been about knowing men's emotional needs and being emotionally competent to address them. Self-proclaimed "independent women" who "don't need men" are generally completely oblivious to men's emotional needs in a relationship. Which is probably why they're single.

[midnightmoon05]

I need and I want therefore I have.
I am very independent. I have lived without a man in my life as an adult and as a single mom. I can take care of my kids and have a good career and is financially comfortable even with no child support or alimony.
I now have a second husband who I share my life with … it’s always healthier and better balance to love and be love.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Good. I don't like to be bothered anyways. LOL

Anyways, I find a woman who can hold her own attractive as an adult should.

Now, if she comes off as those women that "I don't need a man" in terms of being arrogant and doesn't care about love then I find it a turn off.

[Brittanyroseee]

Love comes and goes

[Softlife808]

Lol 🤣

[Brittanyroseee]

😂😂😂😂😂

[Brittanyroseee]

Im just brutally honest

[lightbulb27]

I don't need but I want and have. I'm fortunate and thankful.

I lived alone long time and filled the void by keeping busy and with unproductive relationships.

Independent isn't a turn off, but we all have to get to the question of... what is my value to this other person and feel valued. That's important and it's ok for that to evolve as it did with me.

[Potteplante]

I don't need a man to complete me- I can take care of myself & I'm perfectly content with my life alone. If I need an expertise I do not posses, I'll pay for a service of someone who does.

However I think I'd like a partner in my life again at some point. If it is a man again - I don't know but if it is - then it isn't because I need him, but it will be because I want him.

[Signinggirl123]

I pay most of my own bills. I take care of my apartment. I have a job. I do my own chores. I do things that make me happy. No I don't need a partner. I am getting more content with being without a partner for the rest of my life. And if that is going to make me live a better life than being someone who not right for me than I can embrace that.

[ShellyB]

If "need" means would I collapse and die wo a man in my life, no I don't think that would happen, at least not any sooner than it will anyway from old age. And I would rather be single than be in a bad relationship.

If "need" means am I a lot happier, feel more secure etc w the RIGHT man in my life, the answer is yes. JMO!

[Faith18letsgo]

I’m bi with a preference for women. I don’t need a man or woman to complete me I enjoy being in relationships but feel perfectly whole single too.

As for if independent women are a turn on: ABSOLUTELY! They’re so wonderful and strong and I don’t worry about them as much. They also tend to be less clingy which I like. Although it makes me sad when they’re not affectionate.

[Sour-rose]

the pic is so stupid xD

But no, i don't need a man. I'm doing well by just living by myself. No mofo calling me at 3 in the morning, asking for "some booty" and just come on over for a while. truly feels good to not have that happening.

[TheUniqueOne96]

It's a turn off, based off of what I associate with it, like when I've heard some women say it, it seems like they're just angry at men as if they're trying to compete with them or just be bitchy to them - basically a way of trashing men and being a victim, acting as if women have no rights and they're suddenly free from the oppression they never experienced.

A relationship shouldn't be a need, but a want, obviously for those who want it.

I'm not traditional either.