What to do when the guy says he wants to take things slow and get to know better while he is also acting close?

[Anonymous]

I'm 24 years old and the guy is 27. I've been dating this guy for 1.5 months. Before me, he had a 4-year-old relationship that ended 5 months ago. When we met he told me he completely got over his ex and wants to get to know me, and I started dating him. We both felt this instant connection like butterflies that excitement, we even had sex which was amazing again and he for the first time told me he likes me and all these love words. Yesterday when we were again so close, I just wanted to say things back. I told him that I loved being around him, that he excites me and I am getting attached to him. He told me that I was going way too fast. I was like shocked. I'm like 'we always spend time together, can't keep our hands from each other, I thought what I felt was mutual.'. he told me he definitely likes me but wants to spend more time with me and get to know me better and it is early to get attached. I don't know I feel kinda heartbroken and don't know what I'm supposed to do. He acts as if nothing happened and keeps texting again with these love words.

[GingerGuy]

I had a response typed out, but realized @siren777 said it better than I could. If I was in your place I'd feel the same way (as anyone would).

The first question that came to my mind reading this was his past relationship. 4yrs ended 5 months ago... is he really over her/it like he thinks he is? And maybe this is proof he's not? Depending on that relationship. How good it was? Why did it end? Who ended it? etc. I'd want to know all about that because he may very well not be fully over that and as "ready" as he thinks he is to move on? Every person and relationship is different, but I had only an 8 month relationship with a woman (and not even a true relationship), and it took me years to get over. I'm not sure I'm even completely over it yet and it's been 5 years. She's left permanent trust issues I think there for me. I know I can't bring that into potential new relationships, it's not fair to the other person, but they are there for me. My baggage for sure. So maybe he's not as ready to move on as he thinks he is?

[Asker]

I couldnt agree more. I asked about his ex relationship. he told me they were living together and in love. but after living together i guess they were fighting all the time. he told me during this time his feelings decayed and decided to broke up with her and left the house.
i hope that is not the case like not getting over her. don't know what to do... he is acting normal again

[Siren777]

He is a sweet talker. It's hard to say if he will be honest with you as his actions are contradictory. It seems like physical relationships / sexual chemistry... Take a step back and see how it goes if you want to take things slow with him but remember that if you can't control your emotions for him then its best to leave as he can just tell you that he wanted to take things slow, you're moving to fast (however he could use your body? Talk about double standards) he will only break your heart and leave you and say but I told you I wanted to take things slow while using sweet talk (which can be lies, who knows?) Lots of people get their heart broken and come out of long term relationships but even if he wanted to take things slow he wouldn't want to lead you on so fast with his words. Don't trust words, love... People can lie.

[Asker]

Thank you for the comment. I literally don't know how to take things slow while he is also having sex with me at the same time. This is def contradictory. I just wanted to speak from my heart but he says he wants to get to know me better. Like when he said that all that perfect 1.5 months shattered directly

[Sam_The_Savage]

You're just a use n throw girl for him...
Wow.