What are some advantages/benefits of men when it comes to girls?

[nocturnalbaby]

I'm asking this because I've had bad experiences with guys, and guys have disappointed most girls, so I've just lost a lot of hope in them as they don't seem to be very helpful for girls. It's almost illogical that us women are even attracted to men when they don't even have that much to offer apart from being able to give us babies. Most men are only looking for sex, wouldn't really approach or become friends with a girl unless it involves finally getting sex from them at the end, they wouldn't really spend time with a girl just to chat or hang out, they don't do favours for girls unless sex is involved, they're not good at comforting women emotionally, they flirt with nearly every girl & are very likely to cheat on their partners, so I would just like to hear some positive things about men to help me restore my faith and hope in them, as I am after all straight and not a feminist, and would really like to have a boyfriend one day, a decent one hopefully.

so far, all I think of in terms of positive things about men is:

- that they can be physically comforting if they're bigger than us. even if they're not that emotionally caring, a big guy's hugs & warmth can feel comforting & helps us feel protected
- their deep voices can also feel comforting sometimes
- they're more easy going & chill, so they don't pay attention to a lot of little things that annoy us girls, so it can help us stress a little less
- they're also usually a bit funnier & more entertaining than most girls, so sometimes we can let loose & not be so serious with them
- they're stronger than us & can help us with heavy things or dangerous things

that's all I can think of really, anything else you guys can add?

[Anonymous]

What a great approach you have taken here. Start out by stating how horrible and worthless men are and then ask people to give you reasons to believe men deserve you. I won't do that because the fact is you don't deserve a good man, at least not in your current state.

I hope you can turn yourself around because, if you truly want a good boyfriend, you need to be worthy of one, and right now you are not. If you want a good man, you'll need to be a good woman, and based on what you've written here you are not a good woman or a good person.

You said you're not a feminism, but you've made it abundantly clear that you are indeed a modern feminist. You don't have to call yourself one, and I certainly understand why any woman would be ashamed to give yourself that label considering what modern feminism actually is, but you are one whether you like it or not. You are the embodiment of what feminism has become... the hared of all men based on the actions of the bad ones. You are the female equivalent of an incel.

[Anonymous]

This is a dangerous thought process. Especially when some of the positive things about men you listed are either shallow or seems to use them for their size instead of seeing them as people. Also despite you saying that you're not one, this is one of the most feminist posts I've seen, which actually isn't always 100% bad but self awareness is important too

I used to think the same about women claiming they ignore us unless they need to use us for money and mooching favors. In fact, the only people I've seen cheat were women. The thing is you need to know one person's view is very limited and can be completely different in another environment. If you party at concerts and have casual sex you will likely attract the guys who want just that instead of a girlfriend

I recommend just caring about yourself and having a good time. Don't take crap from anyone. Don't worry about meeting men and don't discriminate based on gender, treat people equally at first. Filter out the toxic people and only let in the good and keep it that way. When I participated in more clubs and interesting events, I found out that women aren't just cheating sluts spreading diseases, there are still nice girls out there who save themselves for their boyfriend and don't care about your wallet

[AvaOneLasTime]

Its not so bad that guys want to fuck. To be frank, we want that too!
However, what you described is just... not my case. Guys not wanting female company, girl friends? WHAT? Yes, there are fuckboys, but whaaat...
Altho there are guys who had bad experiences with girls themselves, so they don't want to waste time and efforts into girls, which will lead them to nowhere.

[WhitneySnow]

Guys can be good sounding boards if you need someone to listen

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

So true.

[HighlyVolatile]

I'm speaking in generalities that hardly apply to all men and all women but I think many of us guys are focused more on diagnosing and solving root problems than providing comfort; our analytical side usually beats our nurturing side. That's both a pro and a con. Many of us make poor metaphorical nurses but can be better suited when it comes to playing the role of the metaphorical doctor.

[HighlyVolatile]

With my wife, if she is stressed out and seeking someone to just listen and sympathize with her, I'm not the best (I can listen but I get into problem-solving mode). I think her girlfriends are better suited, although I've become better at that over the years in resisting my problem-solving mindset when it doesn't seem desired. Yet if she wants someone to offer her possible solutions and things to do after listening to her, she can always count on me to do that.

[HighlyVolatile]

That can be a common source of miscommunication though between men and women. I think when men are stressed out, many of us want to unwind, relax, and talk about something else... or if we talk about it, receive suggested solutions. I think when women are stressed out, many often want someone to just listen, sympathize, and make them feel validated and not alone in facing their problems.

Given these differences, I think frustrations can often arise in relationships. Yet with some mutual understanding of these broad tendencies, I think there's a potentially great harmony to be achieved with some patience and maybe meeting each other halfway.

[Andres77]

There are good men and women, there are evil men and women.
You're more comfortable around women because you understand them better than men.
Men tend to feel more comfortable in casual relationships with other men because we understand each other a little better as well.
Each individual must be judged on their own merits.
You simply can't judge a whole people group based on the few individuals that you know.
There are typical forms of behavior, absolutely. But each individual deserves to be judged on there own merit and that means getting to know them. It takes time and a certain level of vulnerability. That's why everything is hard. We can't just trust each other because so much wickedness has been committed against people.
That being said, if the guy behavior you described above is from personal experience... girl, you need to move!

[Andres77]

It seems like the guys you have to pick from are not what you need.

There are some awesome men out there, just not around where you live, it seems.

[garykingg]

I'm quite a big guy, with a muscular and athletic build, I have been single all my life, I'm 24, I work on managing my businesses and working out. I wish that I could find a woman so that I genuinely can start a relationship with, but alas I don't have a good looking face, and that's like the most basic requirement when it comes to dating. I would love to give a woman comfort and protection, it makes me feel good, and I think about that, but I have made peace with the fact that dating or relationships aren't meant for me.

So yeah, I can see you have been exposed to a portion of guys that just hookup with attractive women, and now you are generalising that all men are like that, but that isn't true, just find a man that seems to be on his purpose, most good men aren't sleeping around, they are isolated, working themselves to the bone, becoming a better version of themselves everyday.

That's a man you should find for yourself

[Adam1978]

Looks like a communication problem from your end. If you want to chat with a guy you need to talk about things they also care about, otherwise you will just bore them. So all your problems bubble down to you not understanding guys and just repeat cliche due to lack of success. Because that is all you get because that's all you provide.

[Twalli]

Never approached a friendship with sex as a goal. I mean I am dating a former friend and we have sex, but I didn't become her friend with that in mind. I will help anyone who I can regardless of gender without expecting anything but a thank you. I don't flirt and find cheating repugnant and cheaters to be the worst. As for comforting, I admit I have trouble with it, but that's been true for everyone my entire life.

[boggboss]

Wait if u was looking for friendship why would guys need to approach women for that lol friendship should be a equal thing so why would u require them to do it for u

[nocturnalbaby]

I'm not looking for friendship haha I'm just looking for positive things about guys for hopes of a good relationship in the future

[boggboss]

Fair enough would need to except men are not a hivemind that act that way as u have it already that u pretty much don't need a man as they can't provide anything so equally u wouldn't need a relationship I get your asking what men can provide but the issue is u already belive they only want sex if thats the opinion u hold nothing can work

[Berethor]

A tall and masculine man can reach a high shelf without a ladder. :)

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HeightAngst

[HighValue]

Your post is full of inaccuracies and purposeful lies.
If you are repeatedly interested in cheaters and promiscuous people then your own actions are the problem. Don't expect different results if you keep going for the same kind of people.

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way about women. They don't seem to care and just want sex Women have the opposite of the things you said about men and the things you said about men are true. But in life guys like me that care meet the ones that don't and girls like you that care meet the guys that don't.

[zagor]

Maybe you need to re-examine what attracted you to the men who you had bad experiences with. The problem likely lies in the type of men you have been seeing. Because obviously not all women are having those issues.

[Sam_The_Savage]

What have girls to offer other than hole?
Boobs? Even my dog have 8 boobs.

[IHateBeingaMan]

women never have to worry about being labeled creepy or weird in social situations or social interactions

[KrakenAttackin]

Well, it seems you have all of the answers and it's time to become a lesbian.

[Anonymous]

I doubt this will ever change, but men always being expected to ask the woman out, make the first move