How to win your heart after being rejected multiple times?

[Daddysgirl77333]

I don't know how to explain my "friendship" very well. A couple of times he said that we were in a relationship. But he would rarely initiate contact outside of work, never asked me on a date etc. But in his defense, when he first asked for my phone number, I kindly declined. The reason that I declined was because I was married. Then when my divorce was almost finalized, I told him that I had feelings for him. He rejected me. (In a not nice way) But we continued our "friendship"/flirting. This went on for a few years. I have to admit that I was ignorant. I felt that if he was "in love" like he said, he would ask me out, but that never happened. I moved on. I quit my job. Found out that he was devastated and felt abandoned by me. I was so confused. Now, he wants no contact. I need all the help I can get!

[SueShe]

Either you or him have to make the first step and forget the pride that prevents you to do it.

He seems to be on the shy side because his behavior leads me to believe that he fears yet another negative move from you. If you really care for this guy, then you will initiate the next contact and say things the way they are, without embellish things.

If he was devastated, then he is mostly at fault for not initiating a new contact prior to you leaving. He was hoping you would reach out but you were either too proud to do it or you were afraid of rejection.

If you want this relation to be successful, then you have to jump over your own shadow because it does not seem that he will do it. Just explain in your own words how you felt and how you feel now. Good luck.

[SueShe]

Thanks for the MHO

[Daddysgirl77333]

Of course : )

[TheAnon1]

Seems like a weird situation. I personally would just move on. If you’ve shown him that you’re now interested and he’s shown he’s not, there’s not more you can (or should) do. Sounds like he still may be bitter about the initial rejection as well. I’d advise to just keep recovering from the past situation until someone healthily shows mutual interest.

[Daddysgirl77333]

I completely agree that he may be bitter, it breaks my heart.

[ImNoOne111]

If it was me. There is no way around me. Im very very strong with my no's so if you hear a no from me, it surely won't change unless the situation changes

[Daddysgirl77333]

Your response reminds me of his heart. I know that he has built a wall around it, to protect it. I truly never meant to hurt him. He asked for no contact before, but then (after awhile) started pursuing me again. That was when we still worked together. How would you suggest I go about changing the situation? What things could a woman say/do to genuinely change your heart back to her?

[ImNoOne111]

I'm sorry but if he is this much like me. There is not a lot of options (because of how the situation is). You told us that the friendship/flirting went on for years! Which is a lot of time. If he was the flirting guy, he was probably hurt a lot in those years. Which to be honest, doesn't make much sense because he rejected you after your divorce. If he truly loves you (the true love is a love you can't move on from, once you are in, you are in forever), then his hurt might be stopping his feelings, which means you need to do a lot to repair that broken thing. If he wasn't, he is probably going to remember it as "bad times" as you surely will move on from a love which isn't the true love after years. I recommend you to analyze what things has hurt him and how deeply he is hurt but I have to say this fact that he might be too hurt to fix. Its hard to accept it because I have been through a similar situation. But if Im going to answer that question without analyzing the situation, what she would need to do is to fix the situation. By that I mean she would have to find why did I exactly reject her. If I rejected her because she has for example, abused my trust. She needs to earn it back. If because of her lifestyle, she needs to fix that. Im like that if I am compatible with someone, and I spend a long time around them, engaging in their life, there is actually a chance I might develop feelings! Or if not, I probably would after the dating and stuff. Its all about logic to me, really

[ImNoOne111]

I just hope he is less like me. Just talk to him. Ask him the why, reach the core of the issue and see if you can fix it.

[ImNoOne111]

I seriously want to help because I was like you before but there is no formula to win someone's heart. You can try as much as you think you should but there is a high risk it won't work

[Daddysgirl77333]

Thank you so much, I can't articulate how much you have helped me! I believe that you two are extremely similar! After talking to a male friend and yourself, I'm going to continue working on myself so that when he initiates contact, (after he lets go of his pride) I will be able to let my pride and stubbornness go and respond warmly instead of rejecting him.

[ImNoOne111]

I wish you the best!

[Daddysgirl77333]

Thank you, I appreciate you!

[boggboss]

Sounds like he was playing games u can't get a guy that dont want to get got if he is asking for bi contact your pretty much fucked there

[Daddysgirl77333]

I don't believe that he was playing games with me. He actually got down on one knee after a year of knowing me. But, I was still married.

[boggboss]

I'm saying after he got rejected

[Daddysgirl77333]

I get what you're saying. I know this will sound horrible, but there was multiple rejections before and after that. I was ignorant and didn't know how much I truly loved him. Needed to heal from my past marriage.

[SolitarySolace]

Can’t. Good thing is women don’t try.

[Daddysgirl77333]

I have. He's just an different than any other man than I've ever known. Kind of ironic, that's what has made me more attracted to him.

[SolitarySolace]

Doubt that's gonna go anywhere though. Doesn't sound like he's interested. You can't force him to be interested just because you are.

[Daddysgirl77333]

I'm not trying to force him, I just want him to understand that it truly was unintentional. He's hurt, but.. I hope and pray that things will turn out differently.

[Iron_Man]

Take it easy for a while find yourself