I'm slightly insecure in front of my girlfriends guy best friend. what do I do?

[Quisat]

So my girlfriend (19) me (20) have been dating for about a few months (6 months) and I recently asked her to be my girlfriend a few weeks ago.

I met her guy best friend yesterday and he's quite the character. Comedic timing is on point it's scary and has a radio voice. I was very nervous to meet him but when I did I was thoroughly surprised.

I could see why they were best friends. It made sense. Generally all 3 of us like marvel and I love marvel too but they are nerded out over marvel. Which is fine by me lol

He makes a lot of very inappropriate and sexual jokes too. Which really freaked me out but they seem to be used to it. He can get away with going too far on fucked up jokes.

I can be really funny sometimes but I also like to be chill. I'm like a wave on the ocean. But I don't know i know it's not right or fair to compare myself to someone who's been friends for like 5 years. And me who just started dating and is now boyfriend to this person.

I just get kinda insecure about that and me not saying anything to anyone about it is really hard. But if I did I'd feel like a selfish or conceded ass hat.

Any advice?

[coldmarch]

Try spotting the root of the insecurity: are you afraid to lose her and to be her "second" most relevant person, or, are you afraid to be "less valuable" than a guy like him (regardless) in general, and hanging out with them would remind you of that?
If he is the leading character among you, and she is the closest to him, of course you're the "last" one. Maybe you've been in this "last" position in the life and recreating a similar scenario triggers you.
Anyway, about your relationship: given they're best friends from 5 years I assume he isn't her type, or there is something anyway that puts her off. Or the opposite: something about her puts him off. He is charming and does sexual jokes so it's hard to think they didn't have chances before, so I would think it's safe to assume they're not about to flirt anytime soon. Sexual jokes can be innocuous, but if they imply he wants something from her (for example joking about how attractive she is) then in front of you it could be inappropriate anyway, so at some point if he doesn't get it, you could ask your girlfriend to ask him to moderate himself a bit about that because it feels on the edge between "okay" and "provoking", if done in front of you.
About the role you have with them: I think this could be solved by hanging out more with them. Once you'll be more integrated in their stuff, you'll win this guy too, he might appreciate you, trust you personally etc etc. So I think, unless it's unbearable, to just keep hanging out together, until you'll get on par with them.
About feeling "less valuable", well, focus on the fact that your girlfriend chosen you as her "main person", afterall, not him. So you have definitely something better than that guy somehow, at least for her. And as another user said, don't try to be like him, if she didn't date him. You might just take inspiration from some of his charm but don't try to imitate his style, jokes and approaches (jokes especially, it would make you self-declare as the beta of the situation).
In any case I think knowing their friendship better and how this guy is, will give you more data, including slightly negative views about them, or details that dismount a bit the "figure" of this guy, resetting him to normal.
And in general: propose cool experiences to share with your girlfriend, so that your bond will strenghten. There is definitely something they didn't live yet and that you can be the "special one" linked to that type of memory. It might contribute in making you feel less insecure as well, probably.

[Quisat]

Hi 👋 I appreciate the advice. Do you think I could DM you? I have some other questions I think should be addressed

[coldmarch]

Ok sure!

[razelove]

Trust your instincts. I've never actively been friends with a girl for years without sleeping with them, or having them wing for me sleeping with their friends. Well, more recently I can be if they have kids and our kids play together, but it doesn't sound like that's your situation...

Just be up front and ask if there's a reason to feel concerned, I mean, dating for 6 months to just get to dating status would concern me enough. Unless y'all are Mormon or something.

[Soremain]

But don't you think if she wanted to date a comedic genius she'd have chosen him long time ago? So why do you feel you have to be like him? She obviously wanted to date someone like you, not someone like him. And wants to be just friends with someone like him. So don't do the mistake and try to be like him, or you'll end up like him, a friend. Just be like you were before meeting him and try to shed this silly insecurity away.

[Luckycharms12]

Get out of your head cos she best friends with guy.

[boggboss]

Advice on what tho

[Quisat]

How do I stop feeling insecure

[boggboss]

Work out why u feel insecure and challenge that