Which is worse: ghosting someone or stringing them along?

Question

Ghosting means to suddenly stop communicating with someone without an explanation.

Stringing someone along means to not have interest in someone but continue to communicate with them and give false hope that a relationship could happen.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Both are equally bad. NOT telling someone why you aren't going to interact with them is as cowardly as letting them hang on and leaving them to do all the contacts and seldom initiating.

This makes the person wonder what's going on and what they did wrong.

Instead, take five minutes to TELL someone, and I mean in person or over the phone. NOT by text and NOT in an email. Both are chickenshit.

I just did this with a woman I needed to break up with because she acted outrageously in public and embarrassed me. And we had had a rocky relationship all along, but I felt sorry for her and wanted to give her a chance. I see myself as tolerant and compassionate.

However, she was very critical towards me over odd instances I ignored because of her upbringing. But, her outburst was the last straw. I complimented her for the good things she brought to me and her kindnesses, but explained I couldn't tolerate such behavior from a grown woman 59 years old!

I felt terribly guilty for awhile afterward, but knew I had done the right thing to protect myself. I had tried to ignore her "How are yous? What's going ons" that she texted me and I simply couldn't.

And the bottom line is I have been ghosted and it feels awful. If you no longer value the friend or friendship for WHATEVER REASON, tell the person in the most succinct manner possible. No giant, long-winded explanations are necessary. You've moved on. You're busy. You have a new circle of friends she or he doesn't fit in with. Or, worst of all, this person has offended you in some serious manner and you know you can't continue the friendship. Accept their apology and say there's no getting past the breakup. It's necessary. Thank them for their friendship and close the book.

If they insist on some extended explanation, stop. Cut it off and end it and you'll end up with CLOSURE. The most important thing you can give to someone and get for yourself.

Vesuvius87 · Accepted Answer

Getting strung along for any thing is worse than someone ghosting out. If they disappear, at least you already know they were never into you. However, if they strung you along with false promise, that's time wasted you'll never get back; time you could've spent it on someone else.

pass_the_celery98 · Accepted Answer

Definetly stringing someone along. Both are extremely immature but with ghosting to me I view it as applying for a job, doing an interview, calling the employer back after a week to do a follow up and you still receive no email and no response is similar to ghosting. In that case, majority of people would say forget it and move on if they don't hear a response back. Stringing someone along is just cold because they are toying with someone's emotions. It's like having a friend who isn't a friend and back stabs you. Stringing someone along is far worse in my opinion.

SmokyOne · Accepted Answer

Getting ghosted would suc k but the lost time from getting strung along is just... irreplaceable

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Honestly? Both are terrible and if you do either, you're a terrible person.
But out of the two, I'd say stringing someone along is WAY worse than ghosting them.

If you ghost someone, you're pretty much saying, "I'm no longer interested in you, leave me alone..." They know where they stand with you immediately by the lack of contact. Hell, even if s/he reappears after x amount of time, I will NO LONGER take them seriously because of the fact they disappeared out of my life.

Whereas if you string them along, you're giving said person false hope and making them think you care for them. They start to develop feelings for you, only for you to pull away or show/tell them differently: THAT kind of crap can traumatize or leave people with major trust issues.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Both are equally bad to do.. Why be immature... Why not do the right thing and just be upfront and honest as to whether you want them in your life or not, and that can be done in a respectful way. Noone wants to be strung along or ghosted, so they shouldn't do it to others either

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Actually, there is a third option: honesty. I recommend it!

BornToDiee · Answer

When ghosting is done, ghosting immediately kills a person's soul, as the hopes of the person on the other side are taken away for a moment. The sudden loss of hope of a hopeful person can take away the life purpose of a hopeless person. But giving hope to someone in vain keeps one's hope alive despite everything. However, the consequences of stringing someone in the end are also very bad. Both are like a form of cheating. In both cases, the other party does not know why his hope was taken from him and why the other person left. But suddenly breaking off communication causes a lot of question marks in one's mind. The personality of a person ghosting, the person in front of him may not be clear, but since the personality of a stringing person will be obvious, there can be ways to protect himself from the stringing person. But protecting from a ghosting person, can be difficult because that person acts like a ghost.

Wavvygurl · Answer

Honestly, they’re both equally as awful. Ghosting can be exceedingly hurtful and leaves the other person wondering what happened. Stringing someone along is just cruel. I prefer honesty. There are many ways to tell someone that it’s just not in the cards. Their feelings will be hurt, but they will have closure and more easily move on. It’s the adult thing to do, and if an adult can’t do that… then they are a lost cause.

Noreason432 · Answer

Both are similar to each other and equally bad in my opinion, because in both cases the person is left wondering with uncertainty and living with false hope of reconciliation or that they might have a chance at a relationship with that person..
At least blocking, although it can sometimes be brutal, sends a clear message : that person doesn't want to be contacted anymore...

Nigjt · Answer

Stringing someone alone is to use someone that deeply cares about you I am to give that person false hope could only end in three ways one is death 2 is the attempt of suicide or harming someone else or Reckless Behavior 3 severe depression not knowing how to get over it.
God Bless

wa1t1ngFuture · Answer

ghosting because I often experience this by male friends they ask me to do something but suddenly disappear and break promise ( I rarely have a girl number)

for the second I have never experienced it so I choose ghosting more painfully.

jshm2 · Answer

Neither

There is no law that says you must give notice and closure before stopping communication.

There is no law that says you must ensure you communicate as the other party wants.

You're being thick by alluding both are equivalent too

TheLoneTerran · Answer

Ghosting is a cowardly act, but at least it is a one and done. Stringing along is a whole 'nother level of asshole, and requires continuous effort by the person stringing along their victim.

razelove · Answer

Neither, using a fake name. Both strategies are weak in that you are still there, and it's not like consequences go away. If you aren't you however, there truly are no consequences.

blondfrog · Answer

Stringing them along. Although someone could talk to you for even a long time and then all of a sudden ghost you. Its not you message someone and they ghost you right away. They could start doing it all of a sudden.

Guy13 · Answer

Stringing them along is much worse as eventually you will destroy long-term hope and trust

missmels · Answer

Stringing them along. Worst thing to me is wasting mine and someone else’s time (and emotion and energy)

Nawlins34 · Answer

Neither are good to be honest. But I value my time.  So if I were single, I much rather be ghosted.

Taylor_C · Answer

I was strung along for nearly 2 years by someone who was very upset a friend of his was strung along by a woman for two years...

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

B is worse, because that is just about the worst form of lie you can tell someone.

Bricealan · Answer

Hey, Sweetie, thanks for defining "Ghosting" for me. Someone else told me but can't remember what they said it was? Thanks!!!

josephinelcajon · Answer

OMG both can be devastating and so wrong to do to anyone!

mamasan · Answer

They're both bad. If people aren't able to be upfront and honest, they have no business being in an adult relationship.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Both are really bad but stringing them along is worse

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Stringing someone is just toying with their emotions

genericname85 · Answer

stringing along, caue that wastes more time. if you're being ghosted and you still try to keep the conversation going, that's your fault xD

loveslongnails · Answer

I presume you're talking about some sort of physical attraction being involved, or the hope of it by one of the parties? Definitely don't string someone along. That's bad form, and it hurts the hopeful.

Blackcupcake · Answer

obviously both are bad, but if I had to choose for myself I'd say stringing someone along...

beebella · Answer

There's more pain that comes with being strung along, in my experience.

Red_Arrow · Answer

If it is a sexual relationship, I am sure they would prefer you to continue stringing them along with sex.

WonderingManII · Answer

I hate both, but I hate stringing someone along the worse.

Andres77 · Answer

Stringing one along just lengthens the doubt and agony.

Better_off_here · Answer

to have to say i am one who has to deal with both of them sadly and i think being strung along is way worst.

kamalravi25 · Answer

Ghosting and stringing both hurts. In the end it affects both the partners. Being honest is the best thing that you should do.

Whatever2929292 · Answer

They are both bad. Just tell someone you aren't into them and move on

bulletbob555 · Answer

Well i really hate the stringing along to no end and especially as of late.

Selene_94 · Answer

Stinging them alone I’ve done both. In High School.

Koalamate · Answer

Getting strung along then getting ghosted hurts more change my mind.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Honestly they are both pretty shitty things to do they're both gonna have consequences.

Slim57 · Answer

Stringing along but that usually goes hand in hand with ghosting

user1516 · Answer

Both are terrible. They’re about the same thing. You get no closure from either.

Crankor · Answer

Or just be upfront with them. Stringing along is worse. Your just wasting their time

Twalli · Answer

If you ghosted someone they never had the ability to form an attachment to you.

IsoUser · Answer

In essence it's the same thing just my humble opinion!

Biancam13 · Answer

Stringing them along is worse.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Definitely stringing them along

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Shit- that's a good question.

emmajoyforever · Answer

Stringing them along

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Ghosting is worse.

Emilyis · Answer

What is GHOSTING!

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Definitely B

SaVaGe22 · Answer

You're 36 still playing this games? Grow up aunt.

Which is worse: ghosting someone or stringing them along?

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