Ok men, how would you like to be approached ?

Question

Since the world made you afraid to women.

OpenClose · Accepted Answer

"Since the world made you afraid to women."
Dripping snide aside...

I feel like men would need to experience it more to actually be relatively picky about it. Maybe we would understand bad approaches more if we were approached more.

Most of my approaches happened in college where girls outnumbered guys 3-to-1. One or two were in some awkward ways, like a 40-year-old woman making orgasm sounds at me at school, a girl grabbing my crotch and offering a blowjob at work, or a girl pinning to my bed saying "she's gonna teach a virgin a few tricks". These mostly just bothered me in hindsight. But I think those are pretty easy to steer clear of.

Otherwise, I had a friend stop me once and was like "you're a really cool guy, and I was wondering if you would like to go out some time." I had just gotten over an abusive ex and false allegations thrown against me so I wasn't sure how to respond.

Another girl was like "dammit, I'm done with the subtlety, let's go out already". In her case, I saw the signs but ignored them due to the aforementioned allegations. She ended up being the abusive ex, but I don't correlate how she approached me with how she ended up being. lol.

Was also hit on by several guys. Honestly flattered by it. Even though one friend's approach was "you're the cute kind of guy I'd like to strangle in bed some time. But I realize you're not into guys."

I just appreciate the effort and that they did it. I can easily empathize with the awkwardness and missteps, so I leave quite a bit of slack.

I think the other thing, though, is that while women are clearly turned on by looks, it doesn't seem like actual sexual attraction comes from that alone necessarily. So while a guy can look around a room and see a bunch of girls he'd love to sleep with, and tries to find one with a good personality, it seems like for women, this sort of attraction is hard to tell from a distance.

This used to matter less when people knew each other more, but now we are all strangers. As far as judging a book by its cover, it's like we're a bunch of unread books and people can mostly only window shop. So guys keep the sexual attraction but it's rendered less deep, and women are barely sexually stimulated by those around them. Like even if she wanted to approach, she wouldn't know who to approach because it's like a monotone fog and you can't get through it until after you already know them. Sort of a catch-22. Just spitballing here, but that's the vibe I get from all of it.

I think what would be best is for us to create more ways for people to connect in person in a context that makes sense, like it was in school. Work would be a good candidate if most jobs weren't so gender-tilted, and rendered sterile by professionalism. But some sort of normal social gathering. Church used to be this, for instance.

But then it wouldn't make people rely on cold-approaches, which are extremely unnatural and is why people have to "learn" them. Or it wouldn't advantage those with "peacocking" behavior so much. Like, the loud, obnoxious person might be liked by fewer people, but they stand out enough that everyone is assessing them.

I don't know. We just need turn the pressure on men to do this WAY TF DOWN because that's one of the reasons shit is so bad.

cth96190 · Accepted Answer

Because the nature of my work exposes me to a lot of people, women approach me every week.
After women pass the age of 35, they become less reluctant to make the first move.
At the same time, most men have stopped approaching, because they have learned that it is too dangerous to be in the same room as a woman.

Woman usually engage me in conversation about the immediate environment, as the beginning of a soft interrogation to determine age, marital status, sexual preference, income and asset base.
The least subtle interrogations are conducted at weddings for which my company has been contracted to provide security. The leftover women, divorcees and widows are thirsty.
I am enjoying moments of schadenfreude with one woman at a particular site.
About 18 months ago I asked her on a date, after weeks of talking.
She said ‘no’.
I followed my policy of one approach, then being completely asexual after the female rejects me.
For the following year she avoided me. If she walked past me, a simple ‘good evening’ was met by a death glare.
The needs of other clients kept me from returning to the site for about six months.
I returned in March and have visited it three times since March.
Each time, she has sought me out and engaged in conversation as though the rejection and death glares had not happened.
I am polite, but distant and reserved.
My guess is that the most recent boyfriend has dumped her, so she is trying to revive other options.
That is not going to work, because my policy is one approach only. I cannot afford any sexual harassment allegations by deranged women. Twenty-five per cent of women are on prescription psychiatric medications and at least another 25 per cent should be.
My advice to women would be to make your move, but do not expect the man to be a mind reader. Tell him that you are interested.
Men have been told forcefully for decades that we are filth and that our interest/attention is not welcome.
Approaching a woman can result in an education and/or career ending sexual harassment allegation, a false rape allegation and being cancelled by the pink-haired sisterhood.
Consequently, many ‘good men’ will not make a move, even if the female is doing the pick me dance in front of him.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I KNOW you're not talking to me, because I am definitely NOT afraid of women.

MCheetah · Answer

"Since the world made you afraid to women."

No; feminist cunts like THIS made men afraid to approach women.

But since you asked, all we want is for women to be direct and honest. No bullsh*t, no mind games, no "hard to get," no random and idiotic rules for when to text, how soon, how late, how frequent, etc. And most of all, NO F*CKING ENTITLEMENT!

When men and women go out on a date, it is a chance to see if you have a future together. Either as lovers, or maybe friends if not. It is NOT a chance for women to get free dinners and drinks and drain a man of his wallet because "your time" is so valuable, like you've got anything better to do on a Saturday night but stay home and watch Arcane while in your underwear eating ice cream out of the container with your cat.

So no games, and no thinking you've got a platinum vagina. That's it!

This has been an MCheetah GAG post. Thank you for reading!

Ok men, how would you like to be approached ?

letsbelovin · Answer

Hmmm, I don't think the world has made men afraid of women. I think it's more the fact of what women are being taught about how they should feel towards men, by other women. See the multitude of memes being posted online about such things and you'll know exactly what I'm referring to. That's just one example of unhealthy attitudes.

A lot of women's attitudes these days seems to be focused on making themselves feel better by emasculating men, for whatever reason. Quite often they do it without even realising. All that does is serve to keep them living a life of being single, or being in unhappy relationships. If they want to remain single then all power to them, but if they're just saying it out of spite, they'll never get what they want.

And also with today's political correctness gone mad a woman can make all manner of accusations and be believed.

How do you think men should feel about all that nonsense and irrational rhetoric? It doesn't cause us to fear, it causes us to withdraw or have less respect for women.

As for being approached, don't play any silly games with testing them to see of they'll do this or that only to be disappointed if they fail the test. Subtlety doesn't work either, it just leaves us confused about what it is you really want, or we just don't pick up on it all.

Behaving like one of the boys isn't going to cut it either, all that will happen then is you will be treated like one of the boys. Don't be drunk, it's not much fun trying to get any sense out of someone when they've got a skin full.

The best approach is just to be friendly, ask for their name, say something nice about them. As a male, receiving that sort of thing is a clear indication that we're liked. Be comfortable with small talk, if they like you too a conversation will develop. Be confident in yourself, but not fake, being fake is a thin veil and is often easily seen through. Be your genuine self.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Whats that even mean?

Why would anyone be afraid of all women? And what do you mean how do we want to be approached?

The fuck happened to just making friends...

No one just walks up to a stranger and starts flirting when they don't know shit about you (unless they're crazy, according to most women anyway, because no one can be nice AND interested apparantly)

But fine, if it helps:
Literally any way whatsoever, because it doesn't matter how you approach, it doesn't matter how crude you are, or if you say inappropriate things, it doesn't matter if you bring up sexual topics imediately, or talk our ear off, or act needy or clingy or derpy or nervous, or if you ask us weird questions, or whatever, we just don't care, we aren't going to be offended, and it has ZERO impact on who we pick.

This sort of thing is made into a MUCH bigger problem than it is, and it sounds more like you are just afraid to say hi to men or make friends while doing shared hobbies, because somehow all men are just the worst, and can't possibly be safe to talk to, otherwise why would you need instructions to interact with another human being?
If you just approached however you like, what horrific thing to you think is going to happen? What bs stereotype is it this time?

If so many women were not so paranoid, maybe it would be worth it to say hi, but most of you see healthy interest as creepy, so it's your own fault that we don't bother.

Hulk30 · Answer

to set the record straight this really ain't got shit to do with bein afraid of women it's really bein afraid of alotta women havin too much power 1 and abusin it 2 and not to shit on women but the funny thing about alotta modern women today is even when they cry to burger queen their way through every thing and get their way they're still not satisfied unfortunately we as men by most women are expected to be superheros and do every damn thing and the truth is most men dont wanna be approach but at least wanna be motivated by you women if there's actually a sexual interest there for us to approach here's some women's fitness self protection and datin coachin channel's on youtube to help all the women approach men correctly passion 4 profession tara stiles pop sugar fitness yoga with adriene tone it up body rock xhit daily fitness blender be fit sarah fit bikini model fitness crossfit zuzka light rebekah borucki-bex life jessica smith tv blogilates sciencebasedsixpack. com thomas delauer thehealthsite. com beauty iq amber martin vicky justiz get fit by ivana massy arias daisy keech kenicherie janaye penn tiffanie ray annabelle hayes renee mowatt abigail ekweghi mandy rose jane kate fitness the bk booty fitness roberta's gym hana milly bright side sonja lauren womens workout channel every day bright nicolettaxo ways and how cindy flores lumowell maryam hampton glamrs rebecca-louise the ummah fight camp brick city combative 52 blocks shark karate catch wrestling alliance fight tips uscca hello ladies with rom wills mr. locario women's channel locario speaks return of the mack lessons the elite way izm radio alexyss k. tylor auntie angel

Reaper1985 · Answer

wouldn't mind being approached now and then but I'd rather take the lead.

if you wondering why some guys might be afraid to approach girls. thank the modern feminist movement and/or metoo movements. guys don't like to be accused of wrong doing just for saying hello or trying to flirt with a girl. also some girls will turn down a guy rather harshly after it took a lot for him to approach her. which causes him to be more held back each time it happens. until he finally gives up on trying to approach a girl at all.

JSmuve · Answer

How? Just come up to me and say "hi", give me a compliment, and tell me why you've come to approach me, and then ask some questions about me. I'm sure it's not all that different from how women want to be approached.

I've had women come up to me and just stand there looking at me in silence waiting for me to do everything and it was kinda awkward.

However, it isn't just the "how" that's important but also the "where" and "when". The "how" doesn't matter if you don't have the opportunity to do it. And I think this is where guys get "afraid" of approaching women. Guys are constantly told not to bother a woman here or there, or not to approach when she's doing this or that. And heaven forbid you accidentally give her unwanted attention. So all the "hows" won't help you if guys don't want to you to approach them anywhere at anytime.

HighlyVolatile · Answer

Maybe with a skip and a hop. Like skipping and just twirling around and asking me how I'm doing. Just a bunch of women skipping all over the place. Like Lord of the Dance:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/CEjclME_BM4

They can skip and kick and twirl and stuff and then I come in... Lord of... the Dance!

https://www.youtube.com/embed/GKHt3y2-pdI

Hanrej · Answer

I don't think men like to be approached. I admit it would be a nice change to feel wanted instead of going for somone I want but even with this change society hasn't changed. Women are still favored in relationships, marriages absolutely destroys men not to mention what a divorce does.
If women would start to approach men it would just serve to reaffirm the notion that relationships favor women. Men don't want relationships and are activly avoiding putting themselves in such a situation and then suddenly women decide to approach instead. Tell me that doesn't signal "I want to use you".

Slartybartfast · Answer

What if a guy isn't interested in dating but just wants an ego boost and the joy of crushing someone's self esteem with an unnecessarily harsh and public rejection for amusement?

What if they just want the power want to ruin a women with a word, destroy their reputation, get them kicked out of college, lose a job etc without any proof?

Adenn · Answer

If a women was interested in me, I would prefer her to just come up and start talking to me. I am of the age where I won't approach a woman because I would just be the "creepy old guy".

I also don't pick up on subtle clues or flirting, I just figure you are being nice. So if you are interested in me, please tell me.

CompletelyHetero · Answer

We wouldn't, girls have proven theirself to be huge bitches that are so judgmental and so easy to get rejected by, it's a very logical and rational fear to be scared of them,
It's like a bear approaching you... Yeah there's a 10% chance that bear won't attack, but there's that 90% chance it will attack, we jus see danger coming our way and run.

Maybe when you girls go away for a few years, work on your attitudes and learn how to be friendly and nice people, then come back and try to approach, maybe we won't be afraid of y'all anymore

razelove · Answer

Move fast, like way too fast. First thing you should say is something batshit insane like "I want your babies". I approach women regularly and find most of them don't want a relationship, but ONS, or NSA. You say something like that I'll likely be more cautious with you, but more likely to take you seriously, and not assume my role for the night is to be a stunt cock.

NathanDavis · Answer

doesn't really matter to me how you do it... I am still going to appreciate it

different girls, at different points of my life have done it in different ways... in whichever way you feel comfortable and confident to do so, then just go for it
wait, don't just approach and grab my crotch, I didn't like when some girls did that, that's just too weird...

wa1t1ngFuture · Answer

point out some of the things that make me like women (example: often asking how are you, often chatting and responding quickly, taking i out for walks, saying I'm interested in you, and many other things that can make me believe that the woman likes me)...

Whatever2929292 · Answer

Well I don't think it matters. Who approaches. If you don't make a move then expect the guy you like to either make a move on someone else or someone else to make a move on him.

That is many times what ends up happening and the same to guys who wait and wait and wait either to know for sure if she likes him or for her to approach. Many times she moves on at some point.

Well... Same way for you.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Men are naturally excited when a woman triggers their "hero" instinct. Seldom does a random approach by a woman seem attractive to a man. But a woman asking for his help, seeking his knowledge or consulting his experience with something... This will work wonders.

t-8900 · Answer

I engage in conversation, just be nice enough and show manners and courtesy. I'll make the move if you're inviting. But only if during our talk you can gain a level of my respect, which isn't given out freely by the way. My girl, she's awesome. That's why I asked her out. Dont put on a front, be genuine, don't try to impress me, just impress me.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Sure! Sounds nice to me!
It's not the women we're afraid of, it's the insane false accusations you might make if we DO approach you! Remember, this is PC world, now! A guy can't even LOOK AT a girl without fear of sexual harassment charges!! Y'all might as WELL be wearing habits or burkas, if you don't want us to even look at you!!

SimpleGuy95 · Answer

Try to make it casual. For me it actually doesn´t that you fell in love with me, I rather need to know that you have a genuine interest me. Because the moment I know you like me and I like you to that gives me enough self-confidence to take iniative and take over.
For me the biggest issue in approaching women is actually making the first move and figur out if she likes me.

Ekvark · Answer

Afraid of women? I'm just giving everybody space no matter who it is. people are very touchy and you'll never really know what a strangers gonna do or how they'll react. So just make conversation: make light of the situation, compliments, tagging along, I don't know you'd have to read the room and act accordingly.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Approach me with the intention of getting to know me, rather than making me your boyfriend or someone sleep with.
One time, this young lady gave me a rose and followed it with a compliment. We had a whole conversation with me then I eventually gave her my number

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Off to a good start accusing us of being cowards just because we achieved the equality women fought for.

Moving past that, you could start with actually acknowledging our existence and maybe paying a compliment or exchanging a smile.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Lol afraid? ... okay when I get approached they simply say hi and start a conversation about anything while keeping strong eye contact and that smirky smile... It's more appealing than shy girls who make you wanna practice telepathy to know if they're interested or not lol...

20yearsolder · Answer

I'm not afraid of anything. Go after what you want and if a guy gets butt hurt then that's his problem

ImNoOne111 · Answer

Just do it. If its a friendship you want to escalate into a relationship, just say it. Plain and easy, "we have been friends for a couple of months, I wanted to escalate things, what would you say?". Its direct, confident and plain. I would probably be shocked, flattered for how considerately the message is written and glad

Anonymous · Answer

I would get so nervous
Super nervous

I would not want them to ask me to go somewhere because I would get so nervous and even if I wanted to go I’d probably say I don’t know probably not or something.

So for me to be approached is just want “hi”

bulletbob555 · Answer

In a different day women were more vocal in initiating contact romance etc it was considered women's lib sexual revolution. I found it was probably like a woman would like to be approached. I didn't always say yes. If a man approaches you and is creepy or just asked wrong

EmbraceThePain · Answer

A smile and perhaps some ice breaker or compliment to open up a small conversation that clearly indicates you’re interested in me and would like to hangout or go out.

Anonymous · Answer

So because no guy wants to approach you you think they're afraid of you? Maybe instead of blaming men you should work on giving a guy a reason to approach you... just a thought. But since bitterness is working so well for you just go ahead and stick with that.😄

OldWorldOrder · Answer

Women serve no vital function in my life. They being more costs than benefits into my life, and more risks than rewards. So why exactly would I want one to approach me?

2log10x · Answer

I would like to be approached in a friendly casual way, not flirty, just like "Hey what's that you're doing?". Then the ball is with me to take the lead if I'm into them.

msc545 · Answer

I would like to NOT be approached so I don't have to bother telling someone to go away. I have no desire to become a victim of false accusations.

Anonymous · Answer

We just prefer not having to jump through hoops for a woman, when we aren't even sure it we actually like her yet. I always get pink downvotes for saying this, but there isn't a single woman in this world who is worth chasing.

I don't want women to approach me. I just want them to stop playing mind games, be brutally honest and direct (disregard my feelings. I'll get over it), stop playing hard to get, and stop with the entitlement.

Anonymous · Answer

Women can approach in any way they want. Men are not as shallow about the dynamics of being approached.
We just want to know you are not going to ruin our fucking life.

Note: It was not the world that made us afraid to approach women... it was WOMEN and their false accusations, entitlement, shit tests, false victim narratives, shaming, expectations, etc.

mstbooblover · Answer

My dream would be ladies being more explicit. That would avoid a lot of misunderstandings. This is perfectly possible while remaining polite. Same for men of course: no reason to be rude...

Jabberjaw · Answer

Lmao. Sitting next to me, making eye contact, smiling, then saying "hi" has worked pretty well for the girls who tried it

andreasderjuengere · Answer

You will approach me naked - so that I know you are un-armed. Next, you prostrate where I can see you - and wait for instructions :D And: Bring beers.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Straight forward. Her first step to approach me would tell me how she would approach me later on if she wanted something.

Waldoe · Answer

Just say "hi" and flutter your eye-lashes and I am yours...

Anonymous · Answer

"made you afraid of women" ? Please explain that lol. Basically how you would want to be I guess. Just be direct, no "hints" or beating around the bush. "Would you like to go grab a coffee sometime?".

ChasingtheWind · Answer

Very interesting question. If the girl make the first move，she can just ask and talk，then make some hints that she likes his look，voice，style，or something else. Then he will know it.

Anonymous · Answer

The world did not make us afraid of women. What we are afraid of is having our lives ruined because one woman lied about events that will make it impossible to go back to what we once had. One false accusation and our lives our over because “believe all women”.

DaveToo · Answer

I've always considered the lady being naked to be a wonderful way to be approached. Aside from that, just a wink and a smile work fine.

IsoUser · Answer

Are you freaking kidding me, personally I'd like to be honest thrown down and taken advantage of and forced to orgasm twice inside her. Leaving me in a euphoric state Lol

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Just smile and say "hello." As long as you aren't being socially inappropriate, it should be fine.

genericname85 · Answer

i'm not afraid of women. if she wants to approach me, i prefer her just to be straight up about her intentions, not beating around the bush too much.

Anonymous · Answer

Smile and eye contact. Do that enough and I will be forced to come talk to you. But if I'm shy. Maybe touch my shoulder and say. "Hey are you okay" I wish a girl would do that for me. I'm not okay.. I need you.

shadowarrior99 · Answer

"Hi there, my name is blah. What's your name and what brings you here?" Keep it simple, I don't care

OddBeMe · Answer

I would love it. So hard breaking into a convo at a bar or party. I network at functions and have to make rounds to groups of business dudes and it's frustrating as hell.

Anonymous · Answer

From the front, slowly, with a smile. Little eye contact and a curious expression. and this pick up line. HI. OMG I am in love already.

achilljoeythor · Answer

With honestly, grace, respect and a positive vibes. I don't mind if you're emotional as long as you're willing to communicate openly and honestly with me. I don't mind if you're VERY affectionate & sexual towards me. I have a high sex drive.

glennos89 · Answer

yes it would be nice if woman also take some initiative every once in a while

TheFlak38 · Answer

If you approach me without my consent I'm calling the police on you. That simple.

Crankor · Answer

"hey, I think your pretty neat. Wanna hang out?" something like that.

humanearth · Answer

Walk up to me and start talking. Hello is always good for starters.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

That depends, are you setting me up for a robbery or organ harvesting?

anton_dee · Answer

Eye contact, smile, walk over with a simple question, initiate conversation... I will take the cue n go on from there

Valso · Answer

LOL, I'm not afraid of women! There's a difference between "afraid of women" and "given up on women".

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

"Hello. I am a biological female. My vagina would like a penis in it. Would you please give me the D?

Ok men, how would you like to be approached ?

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Ok men, how would you like to be approached ?

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