How to revive the -ship after sleeping with the man on the first meet?

[mrsdoha]

[SteveSmith1985]

hmmm... I honestly don't get stumped very often. But... this is a bit of a hard one.

First of all, you might not necessarily need to do anything aside from giving him time to quit holding it against you (to the extent that he does).

I think it very much depends on the guy, as well as what you're hoping to have with him.

If this is someone who you hope to get to know better in hopes of it developing into something significant... then... yea... you may have done yourself a disservice by sleeping with him right away. Again though, it depends on the guy. Some guys wouldn't in any way have any issue at all.

I can speak as someone who you WOULD lose points with if you slept with me on the first meet (insofar as me thinking of you as the kind of girl I would want to maybe pursue something with).

Honestly, the logic behind male (at least my own) thinking here is quite simple:

"This girl doesn't know me from any other guy. At this point, I am nothing special to this girl. I am a guy she liked enough to go out on a date with. If she is willing to have sex with me on a first date... I would assume that she will have sex with ANY and EVERY guy she likes enough to go out on one date with"

That may be unfair. That may be untrue. But... It does make perfect sense.

So, that leaves me thinking "yea... this might not be a girl to try and have something serious with" (again, that may be totally unfair, but it is what it is).

Basically, the way a girl could change my mind about "what kind of girl" she is might be over time. If she actually ISN"T the kind of girl I thought... that will become apparent over time.

See, I just don't know what other solution there is. Usually, "being open and honest" is the way to go. But in this case... TELLING him "I'm not that kind of girl" or "I don't usually have sex on the first date" will be a total waste of breath. Your actions seem to suggest that's not true (although it may very well actually be the truth).

There is also a caveat here. If this guy can SEE that, to you, he is "special" then you've got nothing to worry about. I mean if your first meetup was this magical time where you two hit-it-off in an over-the-top way... and the guy KNOWS that (to you) he's not just like "any other guy you like enough to go out with once"... then you've got no problem.

Honestly though, if you continue seeing each other, you'll be fine in time. 🙂

[mrsdoha]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and detailed response, extremely helpful to put it in perspective for me.

Some personal convo:

I stayed that I’m just the girl who invited him to my bed on the first night.

Before we met I’ve also told him how I haven’t even kissed anyone since my ex boyfriend.

And his response to what I said was, “I am the man who invited himself up”. I find myself very drawn to him, more and more everyday as I replay the very little time we spent together, outside the bedroom.

[SteveSmith1985]

Well it sounds like you're going to be just fine. I would recommend spending some more time with him outside of the bedroom. As long as you guys continue to get to know each other and enjoy each other's company outside of the bedroom (as well). Then you're gonna be just fine. 🙂

[Iron_Man]

Let’s see if that ship has sailed

[Iron_Man]

Thanks for most helpful Award

[Guy13]

Back off and give him space. By five days, he should contact you unless he’s sleeping with another. Sex will likely always be the underpinning of Relationship. As long as that sex is good then all is good.
—There are no Boundaries. So, imposing them post Sex will likely result in….
”Every action has an equal but opposite reaction whether Mass Energy Motion or Emotionality and Physicality…

[mrsdoha]

Hi, I found this extremely helpful and I love your confident insight. I feel like because I was in a long term relationship for so long I had forgotten what it is like to be with someone and have 0 game when it comes down to things.

Do you think there is a chance for a do over for when he contacts again?

[Guy13]

Thanks for kind comments. I don’t know as each situation varies. Will he trust you out and about with the GRLs or whatever? He might think what he experienced is what everyone else gets too🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

[maximumpower]

what "-ship?" the only "-ship" is in your head.
to him its just a one-nighter.
any "-ship" needs to be built. he's already "passed go and collected his $200."
it's an uphill battle for you. good luck with that.

[amelia097]

Strange

[Jltakk]

Whats a -ship?