Men: is he interested or is he trying to avoid taking me on a date?

[kylee2437]

So I’ve been seeing this guy. We have hung out twice both at late times because I was at work late the first time and the second time he went to a funeral that ended with hanging out late. This evening we were supposed to go on a date but when I asked him if we were still going, he claimed he forgot he had his cousins first birthday. Fair enough. It’s now 10:22 pm and we still aren’t hanging out. I told him pretty much that we should schedule for another day because it’s late, I have work at 9:30 and our hang outs sometimes we are out until 5 am. I just don’t want him to get comfortable with only making arrangements for night time. Valid excuse for him bailing or not?

[Screenwriter]

If he was truly interested, your date would be first priority. The fact that he only does this at night almost seems like he's trying to get lucky with you.

Cousin's first birthday? Please! This isn't a cousin he hangs out with! Lamest excuse I've EVER heard. And "I FORGOT." Also pathetic. If he forgot, it's not important.

Cut this dude loose and look elsewhere. He's just filling his time with you. Not planning to be with you on reasonable dates during normal hours. Something's off and you don't have time to figure out what it is.

[mermaidcancermoon]

he's not ready to date or he's not all that into you but too sensitive to say so.

Either way. I dont ask, I give men 2-3 weeks from exchanging numbers to take me on a date or I block/delete them. Having that as a standard helps so you don't linger on time wasters.

Id focus on other men, ignore him dont respond to his messages..

[kylee2437]

We are going to a concert in 2 weeks that’s what is holding me back from moving on

[HighValue]

It could be a valid reason IF he had brought it up and told you and rescheduled. By him saying nothing until after you asked him if you were still getting together it seems like he isn't putting much importance or thought into things or considering you. If you had said nothing would he have even told you or would you have just been waiting around all night waiting for a call?

[Sparkie460]

You should try setting up a place to go out on a date when you're both available. If he bails then you should rethink about your relationship with him. It is possible that he forgot about the birthday party until the last minute. Give him the benefit of the doubt this time.

[Whatever2929292]

As long as he told you ahead of time... Some things happen out of our control. If he does it all the time then ask him the question.

[bowenw]

If he was interested he would show up as promised. A good guy won't leave you wondering what's happening.

[kylee2437]

I agree that’s why I need to put boundaries up of you didn’t promise what was promised so he can make up for it another day lol

[bowenw]

Yeah. If he keeps standing you up you need to seriously think about your relationship with him.

[Alex8736]

What does he do for work? Days? Nights? How long have you known him? Did you already sleep together? These are just legitimate questions about his schedule. Does he have a good buzz going when you see him?

[exitseven]

It could be legit. If he does it again it becomes a problem

[kylee2437]

Yeah I agree. Feel like I have to give him the benefit of the doubt because last week when we hung out I didn’t get out until 10:30 so like it’s along the same lines I just don’t like that he planned something for us and I waited all night basically. Last week he already knew I was working until late

[exitseven]

goodluck with hthis.

[kylee2437]

Yeah I think after the concert we go to in two weeks, he’s going to get cut off lol

[exitseven]

damn, I am glad I am not dating anymore.

[kylee2437]

Lmao I wish I wasn’t going on dates with people either 😭 too much mind games, very little communication

[exitseven]

@kylee2437 okay- when I was 25 I had string of bad relationships. I got so sick of all the games and the deceit that I was going to give up on dating maybe for ever. I went to a concert with a girl and I decided I was sick of it all. I went away for a few days. Ironically that is when I met my future wife.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Well if it's the first time then let it slide, make plans for another time

[JSmuve]

It doesn't sound like he's too keen on "dating" but more "hanging out".

[kylee2437]

It’s just weird because he’s the one that insinuated on taking me out today lol

[JSmuve]

Actions trump words. People can say whatever they want because it doesn't cost anything.

[kylee2437]

Very true! I need to stop listening to words

[WhiteBoyChill]

If it becomes a more regular pattern then he definitely wouldn’t be interested however this is just one incident after all

[kylee2437]

My issue is, if I allow it today I just don’t want it to become a consistent thing

[WhiteBoyChill]

Then just communicate with him that you don’t want it becoming a regular thing.

I’m sure he’ll understand, and if not, and he starts taking advantage, just not the right guy for you

[Wise4myage]

Not valid, Id rather hang out with you all night than some Cousins birth day, lol.

[VV3ZZY]

totally he's interested