What do you think of men who gave up the idea of dating or marrying because of past bad relationships?

Question

cth96190 · Accepted Answer

It is not mentally weak to decline to undertake an endeavour in which the entire structure of government is dedicated to arse raping men and assuming the man's guilt, as well as ruining him financially for the rest of his life.
Women, as a collective, have spent the past 60 years vomiting hate and insanity over men through the version of Communist ideology that is called Feminism.
As a result of Feminist lobbying of their political enablers, it has become a hate crime (that carries prison time) for a man to make a normal heterosexual approach to a woman in some jurisdictions. See Britain's anti-catcalling law as possibly the best example. Throughout the Anglosphere, Feminists are lobbying for similar laws to be imposed.
Watch the already collapsing marriage and birth rates fall through the floor, which is the real intent of the Feminists.
In Canada, the legal precedent has been set that a woman who dates a man can seek a property settlement and spousal support, even though they were merely dating and did not cohabit long enough for the woman to become a common-law wife.
I have seen 'good morning' used as the basis of a sexual harassment complaint that resulted in the man being fired, without a second of investigation by the Feminists who run HR departments.
In my case, I had to deal with a sexual harassment complaint because a female walked behind me while I was having a telephone conversation and (she said) "felt harassed" by the three seconds that she overheard.
The inevitable conclusion is that women, as a collective, have become too insane, hateful and legally dangerous to allow them to be around us, or take any role in our lives. #MeToo anyone?
Not every woman will, but any woman can.
Government data shows that a quarter of the adult female population have active prescriptions for psychiatric medications. Ask any man who has attempted to navigate the dating pool and he will tell you that there would be at least as many women who have not been diagnosed, or have lapsed prescriptions.
The first principle of military tactics is to fight only the battles that can be won.
When interacting with women who have been indoctrinated by Feminists and weaponised by legislation, there is no reasonable expectation of a favourable outcome for a man.
The sound course of action for men is to withdraw from the field and refuse to engage.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

It depends on how badly their heart was broken and how much they sacrificed for the relationships they’ve been in.

I’m talking about relationships where a person really gives their SO their everything, only for the relationship to end.

To nurture a deep relationship, it takes vulnerability. Vulnerability is the closest distance between two hearts. To love someone with everything you have, you’ll need to let down your guard and trust them wholeheartedly. This is the only environment which true love can grow. This is how the deepest intimacy can be reached. The other person becomes your weakness and they will have the power to inflict pain upon you more than anyone else in your life. When you trust someone with your whole heart, you’re trusting them with the power to hurt you terribly. If they truly love you, they will never abuse this power and will be grateful that you trust them so much.

Loving someone like that, only for them to break your heart is a really painful.

One can only have their heart broken like that so many times before their heart can’t take anymore.

To truly love someone, it takes risk. Because, if you are in a relationship and you have such thick emotional walls to protect you from pain, that will also prevent you from developing intimacy and closeness.

There are people who have loved with their everything and they don’t want to risk their heart being broken again. They’re not hating the other gender or anything. It’s a personal choice from someone who has just been through so much and their heart can’t take more. I can respect that.

For some this is temporary, for some it’ll be longer. These people don’t want to settle for a mediocre love relationship. They want someone who will love them in extraordinary way just as they will love them back in an extraordinary way.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

I kinda feel bad, but also kinda not.

I feel bad because they're clearly suffering. They're clearly unhappy, lonely, and increasingly unhinged. That just sucks, objectively speaking. And it's very clearly harming their quality of life.

Buuuuut at the same time, they're also - hopefully - fully functional adults. They have their own journies to go through. With time, I'm sure they'll eventually learn that they can love again. Or maybe they'll learn they don't need or want to be in a romantic partnership. Or maybe they'll find joy in some other way.

And, well, at a certain point, if they're sufficiently frustrated at themselves, maybe they'll see how they need to change to be a better partner or spouse. I know it happened with me.

Sometimes learning takes some failures and hard lessons.

I think sometimes people can take a while to learn their lessons, but they'll arrive in the time they put in effort for. For some, that means later in life, for others it means earlier. And for a few, it may mean never. Those are the ones I pity the most.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I've only truly ever met one of these in the wild. He had a contentious break up with his ex after she cheated on him. It's odd because he is actually super nice to me and my other female friends, and is every bit the old school gentleman, pulling out chairs, opening doors, refusing to let us pay for dinner...and knowing this, we've all tried to hook him up with nice women, but he refuses. He's become super worried about being used for his money and doesn't want to be on any dating sites or go on dates, and certainly not get married. He has a son with his ex and basically uses him as a shield to say his life is all about his son and can no be about anything else.

We've had a lot of deep talks with him about this and trying to get out of that mindset but he just puts up a firm road block. And don't ever bring up the ex, oh my gawd, you can literally see the dark cloud forming over him if you do. He's a grown man, we want him to be happy, and at present he currently isn't, but it's his life and he has to live it.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Can’t blame them… someone must have burnt them so bad that their whole idea of love in general is shattered.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I usually get the impression that they are like little boys who can't handle rejection, instead of being grown men who can put it in perspective, learn from the experience, and move forward.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it really depends on what we mean by bad past relationships. There is always a story. Here is mine. And then my take to follow.

My worst bad previous relationship consisted of being together for 7 years. Being engaged, having a child together, the child dying , her cheating and getting pregnant before the dirt even settled over his grave or the head stone was even laid. Followed by loosing most of my “friends”.

I stayed single for 6 years. I wasn’t in a mental state to be dating. I was angry, bitter, hurt, vengeful, etc. I let my grief and what happened to me push me to a dark place. The few times I did try to date I was able to be a decent boyfriend for a bit. Once that new love period wore off though it was back to being a shit person. No one deserves to be with someone who can’t even love them selves let alone anyone else.

So I stayed single.

My thoughts are everyone has a story. If they want to be single let them be. Everyone is fighting a battle inside that we may know nothing about.

trumpets310 · Answer

It's fair for someone of any gender to give up dating because of past experiences. It's not fair for them to badmouth a whole gender for it.
If a woman has to deal with an abusive man, it's quite understandable if she has trouble dating another man because of that, and that's her right. But mentally, she needs to understand that this doesn't make men bad - it's just that unfortunately she had an experience with a bad one. Same with a man dealing with an abusive or otherwise bad woman, or any other gender combo. You can't be bitter and treat a whole gender badly because of your experience with individuals.

Lionman95 · Answer

I sympathize with them and I think they do right thing at least for period of time. The problem for them is that they probably can´t figure out the problem of their last relationship and therefore they prefer staying single. It works with women too because women also become bitter and frustrated with guys if they are cheated with over and over again.
The problem for them could be that they don´t have a backbone that´s strong enough to not let women walk over them meaning they tolerate bad behavior in the hope of being able to save the relationship.
At the end of the day I hope they find a way to become happy again.

Kaamraj · Answer

The vast majorities of divorces are initiated by women and men end up paying alimony and lose half their assets most of the time. So I dont blame men who dont want to get married. Now coming to non-marriage relationships, what I feel personally is that the expectation of women has grown exponentially now that the average man is invisible to the average woman and their appreciation has gone down, so they no longer appreciate the average or even above average man for what he brings to the table. So I think that if a man wishes to stay away from relationships then it's his voice and more power to him.

HighValue · Answer

It makes sense for men in the USA, especially if they are a good man and only want a good woman. There seem to be very few good high quality women here. The majority have awful morals, an unacceptable past, are sexist against men and totally against being fair in a relationship. Too many have a past of drug use and heavy drinking, promiscuity, multiple tattoos ruining their looks, or have kids from past guys.

The better a man is, the more difficult it is to find a woman anywhere near as good for a mate. He pretty much has to stay single or accept trash for a mate here. At least that is mostly what I have seen, but I am in liberal California where many people are immoral garbage.

Ευδεμονια · Answer

I’ve not been in any relationship so I can’t say I fit in the categories of the question, but I decided to stop dating since I had only bad rejections and every one of them has been like a stab in my back. I took time to recover and every time I felt less motivated and encouraged. Why put all myself in a dating experience only to achieve a rejection and a lot of suffering?
I sincerely prefer being alone than have to change myself or putting a mask because I can’t be accepted for what I am! I struggle in have confidence in myself, I don’t need the help of other people to destroy my work.

So I can say I partially can comprehend why men and women make this choice, it’s for self conservation. Relationships aren’t meant for everyone, and the sentence “there’s your soul mate that is waiting” is only one of the biggest lies.

Wsx2wsx2ws · Answer

I am not sure. I have suffered enough of that to decide to give up. But maybe I already have. I don't do it, so I guess I did.
Its like those creatures wanted to make sure I don't every try and find happiness with another woman so they put their all in to being really discouraging <-- major understatement) Maybe it worked.
I just have to admit I think I gave up.
Contemplating this question is a flash of pain where past buried memories jab me in scared areas. I see that there is a barrier that stops me at one point, and I cannot pass it. I want to but not as much as the fear of doing that horror show all over again. A point comes when I stop thinking its just them, and ask: is it really me. I must believe it is. I think I do.

That is exactly what I am thinking when I contemplate this question.

jshm2 · Answer

They are just pussies, or end up turning into incels and bitter r/niceguys

While it can be a good idea to step back and not fall victim to the rebound. Sometimes you've just got to admit you're not dating or breeding material.

Though met plenty of guys who are not the type you should date. Either they will beat you, or will fuck you up just for kicks.

One of my old gang lieutenants is always in and out of jail for beating his girlfriends and worse. Even sent a couple to the looney bin as he's that scary and demanding.

loveslongnails · Answer

I think it's perfectly fine for them to do whatever they think is in their own best interests. I surely don't think any LESS of men who decide that marriage or a relationship just isn't for them. It doesn't matter if past bad experiences are the root cause, or if they just don't want one.

Marriage isn't for everyone, and either is dating or relationships. If a person tries again and again at it and they fail, there will come a time when they just don't care that much about it. It's NOT the end all of living to everyone.

In addition, a woman doesn't suddenly become a bitter feminist (using your definition), just because she's had a few bad relationships. And every woman who does NOT want a relationship or marriage is NOT a feminist!

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I think they are quitters, but I also get it... some women do it too. Get hurt, cheated on or whatever and they just give up on love.

I know a man right now, who has been married twice and both of them cheated on him, he has given up cause he thinks he is the problem... and since he is the problem, any one in the future is going to cheat on him, even though he has no idea what he is doing to cause the problem.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I understand them. They must have been hurt pretty bad. You never want to go through it again.  I just hope they gave themselves a second chance. Everyone deserves to be loved and happy.

SaidNobodyEver · Answer

Some people just don’t want to be hurt again. Women do it too. Generalize the trauma they have to categorize all people they could put their trust in again but are too afraid too. Personally I didn’t give up because of past relationships. I don’t even think I’ve given up. It’s just tiring trying so hard for someone’s affection and finding no one. 9/10 when I ask friends in a relationship how they met they say “it just happened.” Which leads me to believe if I just lead my life in a way I enjoy I’ll come across someone I enjoy and hopefully they’ll enjoy me.

CloudMassacre · Answer

I think it’s sad and they need mental healthcare in some form. I’m currently seeing a therapist to work through my insecurities from past relationships I’ve had, so I at least partially understand where they come from. The ones that get mad at women are especially sad and probably need the counseling the most, but a lot never will

Anonymous · Answer

Gave up? Or just resigned themselves to reality?
I hold no malice toward anyone. But at this stage of my life I'm happy and I'm established. A woman has to bring something to my life in order for me to change it.
I think a lot of frustrated women project that onto guys. I don't think most guys "give up" so much as they get to a point where they start recognizing that there are those women worth investing in and those that are not. I think where a lot of women make their mistakes is they think guys risk NOTHING for entering into a relationship with them. And I think that eventually becomes those types of females undoing.

Gent207 · Answer

I think both sexes that adopt this attitude are hurt and broken people that shouldn't condemn each other because of the bad people in the world. Therapy, proactiveness and if necessary medication cango a long way in becoming whole again.
Proactive - being constant in the pursuit of the better version of yourself by constantly re--examining attitudes and beliefs about others and the world.

Sonorous · Answer

I think that if it's actually a sustainable path for them, then it's good. But if it's not, then they need another alternative. Like maybe don't go to the extreme if it will just make them more bitter. The goal of avoiding relationships should be to make someone's life less stressful.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

I haven’t been hurt. But I have never had a successful long term or happy relationship. Every time I try to get back into the dating market it stresses me out and I just can’t find anyone I’m compatible with. I haven’t given up that it’s possible, but I’m on the fence and each year seems less and less likely. I’m going on 32 and everyone around me is either single, divorced or going through problems. Is a successful relationship even possible these days?

lightbulb27 · Answer

I think they haven't learned from their relationships and so are legit in fear of repeating the pain, making same mistakes... and that's how it works. You have to learn... about yourself, and grow as a person, then grow confidence to succeed. Women go through as well, dating is about learning about yourself mostly. once have right perspective, they want to date, as it brings renewed experiences, joys, hopes, discovery, mutual opportunity.

Seinna · Answer

I think they're hurting themselves the most in the end and the longer they let it affect them, the worse it will be. There are people on this planet who can thrive alone but that's generally not those who were in relationships and got hurt. At the end of the day, everyone else will move on in life and they will stay where they are because no career or hobby can replace a romantic, human relationship and family.

ChooChooHaha · Answer

Feminazi. Same as women. Hopefully they know not all women are the same, the same way not all men are. One day they'll find the right person, and they'll finally understand, some people are amazing.

RavVid · Answer

Well at some point, at some point marish01, you have to critically examine life and ask the vital question...

"What makes me think it is going to be DIFFERENT this time?"

That goes for both guys and girls.

That is a sad attitude you describe. I tend to think it comes from an attitude that it can't be me, it must be somebody else fault. That would make you bitter.

Subarugirl · Answer

I don't really think about them... unless they get in my face and use their failed relationship as an excuse to be sexist asshole or use it as an excuse to be a manipulative womanizer. I really don't care about the consensual adult relationships of other or the lack there of

nisnaia · Answer

They're valid.  I once gave up too for a while there but got back into it because I knew it had to go right some time. I hope the men and women who gave up will give it another chance.

glassdunes · Answer

Listen, Abuse is abuse. I don't like cheating, women seem to not care about my feelings at the end of relationships. I've had one ex be nice, and I had one ex who knew a guy who stole a guitar from my bed room. That means either someone was watching the house, or she let them in. She stole my mothers cell phone, cheated on me because I gained weight, gas light me by telling me I was the one cheating and constantly looking at my phone. So much. Women promise to be nice and then boom men screw up

Chris_8036 · Answer

I think it's important to learn lessons from bad experiences. It doesn't necessarily mean that you shouldn't do it again, just be smarter about it next time.

Berethor · Answer

Hard to blame them, and there is a lot of bad women nowadays.

Juxtapose · Answer

Well dating is really bad even for normal guys so I can't really blame them. I'm autistic and still trying, 33 years old and not much luck yet. If it wasn't for this burning desire in me to have a mate I would have given up a long time ago.

Paul09 · Answer

I've tried and tried and tried. Till I got so fed up of trying. It's a 2 way road! It's so hard to get a date period. And then if I do get a date, have to impress them enough to get more dates. And pay for everything. Dating gets depressing. What's the point. I guess if it naturally happens some how, great!

Anonymous · Answer

They probably saved themselves, dating for men is like being dropped on a planet made of fecal matter and rotten garbage with 1 microscopic diamond hidden somewhere within it and a few fake diamonds.

Lucky for me, I found that microscopic diamond so unfortunately for other guys, there is only rotten garbage, fecal matter and fake diamonds left, so it's best to give up

petitedollbabee · Answer

Trauma is valid. If they’ve given up on those things due to bad experiences in the past, then I can’t blame them. If you want those things and he doesn’t, then you should move on and not waste time trying to change him.

Man-O-Metal · Answer

I think those people are letting new opportunities go to waste. Yes sometimes life can suck and you will have the misfortune of going through tough break ups or just tough relationships. But that's no reason to give up.

TallAnon · Answer

I think many people have a moment in their lives where they think extreme thoughts like that, but generally they fade away in a few years.

sheikalana · Answer

They're eventually going to change their mind once they find the one.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Unfortunately I understand where they are coming from.

Anonymous · Answer

I am like that one. I had abusive parents, who physically and emotionally tortured me for years and restricted me to talk to girls. After I left I met a girl in masters who took advantage of me saying she liked me. I am still a virgin and women hate guys like me. I have never seen love in my life. I have given up on women and spend my time studying/working and doing voulenteer work.

Anonymous · Answer

Nobody is forced to date or marry. If they believe their lives are more fulfilling without a partner, I don't see the problem. Most do not want to live their lives that way.

exitseven · Answer

I can understand it. I had a string of bad relationships and I was going to give up dating for a while maybe forever. Ironically I met my future wife the very next day.

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

I don't think that is being very rational. Both done by men and by women. But we have to respect people's decisions.

hoqhuuep · Answer

Won't judge them, dunno what they went though. But I think it's sad to give up. I hope they aren't lying to themselves.

AdithyaR · Answer

Thsts literally me. I've come to accept that there's no way anyone would find me attractive. So I've given up on trying. I'd say it's more peaceful once you give up.

Emerson28 · Answer

That's a good question. And yes such men do exist. The is a certain limit to what we as humans could tolerate so such men believe they weren't destined for relationships and marriage due to painful past and they give in to Celibacy.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

I don't feel it's a good reason to stop dating entirely but I do get it

Baylist · Answer

Goes to both genders. They've been through a lot so they don't want to get hurt or they are not into relationships anymore

Adronicus · Answer

That they missed their best chance when they were younger. Nobody taught me anything, learned later about females & pair bonding

Hanrej · Answer

Well... They're smart enough to learn. If relationships havn't worked out before it's highly unlikley they will in the future... Unless you change what you're looking for.

SeekingVirginWife · Answer

this happens if you have sex with non-virgins. better be smart

annabananna · Answer

I really don’t care. I think they are mentally weak but they have a right to do what they want

motownplayer2000 · Answer

I did at one point, then found a wonderful woman that pursued me.. we had an amazing time together.

Anonymous · Answer

your last update is exactly why men give up on women. Feminist absolutely poison the entire environment

maximumpower · Answer

i'd say they were smarter than most. marriage is a sham.

Anonymous · Answer

Men or women, is so sad someone's hurt enough to give up on love.

Anonymous · Answer

it happens but eventually they decide to get back into the game if they want to be in one

McKellar · Answer

Or women just don't give other men a chance all because they are not their type.

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

I don’t think I am and it’s not even my relationship that caused me to think this way

Nigjt · Answer

That it's really came to a very very sad world. God Bless

fred_durst · Answer

it is better that way rather they force themselves , only to not even trust his girlfriend

Anonymous · Answer

I have - its waste of time and lots of stress.
Single life is the best life - body thirst can be satisfied through dating apps this days.
So many of us prefer this then to be with someone who makes your life a living hell :)

Anonymous · Answer

Seems like an over-reaaction, but not really my problem so I'm good.

What do you think of men who gave up the idea of dating or marrying because of past bad relationships?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Why do you think that men gave up on dating, at least how a loads of people say?

What do you think of men who gave up the idea of dating or marrying because of past bad relationships?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Why do you think that men gave up on dating, at least how a loads of people say?

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