Can a guy have too many female friends?

Question

Question in title. I’m dating a guy who seems to have nothing but female friends, which is ok… but also slightly uncomfortable. Thoughts?

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

So this one of those things that people get passionate over. Lots of question on here about guys and girls just being friends, and if that is seriously possible to be friends with the opposite sex without any sexual attraction.

So in my 45 years of walking this planet, I seriously never had any interest in talking to or being "friends" with a chick that I was not sexually attracted to. I mean I have work friends, friends of the family, wives of my guys friends, Facebook friends and so on that are women, but they are not really friend type friends. They are more like friendly acquaintances.

Seriously, if I am trying to get close to women on a friendship level that is because I am interested in her and am trying to back door myself into a relationship. Once the women says she's not interested or that she just wants to be friends I bail out on the whole thing. I am not rude about it or anything but I put the dampers on it once I make my intentions known and she is not interested, because I got no interest in having a relationship with a women I would not have sex with if I had the chance or any women not interest in the possibility having sex with me... if not now or at any point in the future.

So yeah I think its kind of a Red Flag for several reasons... first off if he is a heterosexual male why does have so many friends and so few girlfriends? What is it about this guy that makes so many of women friends not want to date him?

Secondly, when guy has so many women friends that he is not dating and then he finds a women he wants to date... well your a women right? You know how women think sometimes, once they see some other women showing an interest. Well they start to think maybe this guy is actually good boyfriend material. Because inevitably what happens is as he gets more and more into his new girlfriend, he has less and less time for his women friends and the women friends start to think maybe I did have feelings for this guy and now he is slipping away.

Lastly, I don't believe for a second any man with all these women friends that is heterosexual would pass on the opportunity to have sex with any of them if they were willing to to give him a chance. And honestly I never dated or would want to date a women that I was getting serious with that would feel comfortable with me hanging out or maintaining all these other relations with women friends. Seriously, I am almost 90% certain that if he has that many women friends that he would get with at 1 or 2 of them if they gave him a chance, and maybe that is what he is really trying to do.

As a guy I would never feel comfortable with any one of my girlfriends hanging out with other men, friends or not. Because if I was dating her then that is because she is sexy, hot and desirable to me... so why would I think she is not just as sexy, hot and desirable to other men? Last thing I want is some third wheel hanging around vying for her attention, friend or not friend. I feel that takes away from our relationship. If that makes me a jealous or processive type of person, then so be it because I am entitled to want what I want. I am not about playing games or giving some other guy a chance to back door my relationship with a women when we hit a bump in the road and he sees and opportunity to take advantage of a moment of weakness.

I see Red Flags here.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Well I have quite a few just really good female friends but when you start a new relationship the girls that you started with definitely thinks that too many female friends is not good LOL because she doesn't know you all the way yet and she just feels insecure kind of so yes going to make a choice in Bend a little bit here bend a little bit there until she gets to meet your friends and most of the time they don't want to meet your friends they just want to be with you so it is what it is and it all works itself out hopefully

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

That type of guys is usually waiting around for one of the females friends to BREAK UP, BE DEPRESSED, or GET DRUNK, or INVITE HIM OVER.

You know why…? Because he has no GAME otherwise.
😂

If the guy is in a relationship and has multiple female friends, then the same obviously applies and he’s trying to get some booty from his little friends. And CHEAT!
Trust me. No guy is gonna be besties with no female unless he wants the goods. That’s what he has male friends for, or his parents.
he's not gonna FRIEND no female.
Males are very susceptible to becoming sexually attracted.. and they know it.

They ain’t f-king stupid.

___________________

And too add:
If a man breaks up with you. He’s got his little friends that can sit on his lap next. He’s got backup. Or he’s got shoulders to cry on.
Point is.. those girls will take advantage specially if any of them has a thing for him.

NotTacocaT6969 · Accepted Answer

You’re experiencing insecurity.

You need to get it into your mind that he knew these women before he even met you and that if he wanted to date any of them, he would have dated one of them and not you.

Literally all but 2 of my friends are guys.

My ex felt threatened by this and wound up trying to make me stop speaking to my friends.

He is single now.

My current boyfriend is not insecure at all. He and my friends get along like besties.

Insecurity does nothing but cause unnecessary stress and drama.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Depends on the guy... Some guys CAN be just friends with females... And some guys befriend women to get sex.. I knew a guy that had a lot of female friends he claimed were "just friends" but turns out he had sex with almost all of those "just friends" ... So it all depends on how well you know your boyfriend and how much you can trust him🤷🏼‍♀️

Pinay_ako · Answer

If they’re all married with kids and they’re like childhood friends and seem good influence to your man, then I don’t see any problem with it… and if he seems like a good person who’s a magnet for good girls, a bonus for you. Welcome to his fan club

Miristheiss · Answer

Sure.

Part of that depends on the girlfriend's/wife's tolerance for him spending a lot of close, quality time with other young, attractive women.

Each woman will have her own personal boundaries as to how close her man gets with other women, how much time they spend, what types of activities she is ok with and which ones cross the line.

If he has too many women in his life he spends lots off regular time with or he is too close to certain women or does activities she isn't ok with then those 2 people just wouldn't be a good long term fit for a relationship.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

I do not see the problem in it. As I am completely professional with all of my female friends. And they know it too, hence they are a bit more comfortable with me since they know that I have zero chance of developing feelings for any of them. They are not like that with other guys, where they watch out for what they say and need to filter it out.

If you ask me what I would feel for my girlfriend or my wife who has many guy friends, then I would ask her if any of the guys is having or has had crush on her right now or in the past. And if the answer satisfies me then all good! And if not, then I would tell her to break off with him, flat. No if and buts there, as the situation can easily turn into a completely unexpected one just like that.

glennos89 · Answer

Depending on the guys motives ofcourse but if he is a loyal guy then it should be no problem.

I also hang out with a lot of girls because I connect better with females then with males.

It's nothing more then pure friendship for me and when I'm in a relationship...

my girlfriend definitely doesn't have to be scared that I will cheat on her., because I will never cheat in any relationship and hate it.

I'm loyal to partner at all times because honesty is very important to me and I'm not willing to hurt my girlfriend like that, knowing that it would scar her for life.

I don't know what type of guy your boy is, but you can always talk with him about it.
And if that doesn't satisfy you enough, then you could always try to contact 1 of his female friends to ask for a explanation.

But that's your last option ofcourse because it can backfire if luck is not on your side

Moose304 · Answer

Absolutely, a guy in an exclusive relationship can have too many female friends. People sometimes misunderstand cheating. With a few exceptions cheating does not just happen. It is the last chain in a chain of events. Right now one of my neighbors has her daughter with her. About a week ago her husband was caught getting a BJ. This girl was at one time a good friend of his and over time started developing feelings for the man. This is the same for women too. Every single friend multiplies the chances of links being placed in that chain. I man NOT in an exclusive relationship in my opinion can't have enough female friends.

LilyoftheLake · Answer

I don't think so. Unless any of them get toxic, it should be a pretty safe environment - as long as you are number one, that is.

At least for me, confidence is a HUGE turn on in a guy (so long as its tempered with humility or intelligence) and being around girls seems to increase a man's confidence. So I wouldn't mind, but I'd be careful.

razelove · Answer

I mean, as long as you're more attractive than them, and he doesn't have kids with any of them, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. After like... 22... I can't think of a single female friend I spent any significant amount of time with who I didn't sleep with. Then again, I'm poly, and he chose to be with you, not one of them, so choose to trust, and maybe talk about it before getting skittish or jumping to conclusions.

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

Besides agreeing with what @litty says

I would add,
1) he doesn't mind me accompanying them...
obviously doesn't have sleepovers LOL, and

2) He isn't trying trying hide their conversations...

3) they don't want him... doesn't matter if he doesn't want them. Ever heard of a psycho bitch or seen the movie, Love thy neighbor? Envy is dangerous.

Kaneki05 · Answer

I pretty much only have female friends apart from my one bestfriend who is a male.
I dislike males on a whole we just never seem to get along. However women I do hence the more female friends.
This has no difference on the fact I wouldn't cheat. Nor does it change the fact many men who have more male friends still do cheat.

Rei13 · Answer

Honestly depends. A childhood friend is one thing. If it was going to happen it would’ve already happened. For the most part it’s ok to have female friends but if they’re texting a lot (daily and long conversations) or hanging out all of the time not as much. I have quite a few friends that are guys but I don’t typically talk to them as much as my female friends.

Olexania · Answer

Well, guys can have a lot of female friends as much as they want to. But, for me, I don't think I would ever want to date a guy who have too many female friends. It's a huge turn-off for me. Like you, it wouldn't only make me slightly uncomfortable but it would make me feel extremely uncomfortable. If these so-called female friends of a guy are just "acquaintance" type of friends like from school or work, then it's somewhat fine. It's up to you. If you still feel uncomfortable after getting to know some of the female friends that the guy you are dating have, then you should consider your feelings.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

If he’s taking them seriously, absolutely. Women will get in a man’s head and ruin him. If they’re just hanging out and chillin’, no problem. I have lots of female friends but when they’re like, “Let me see your dating profile, blah blah blah,” or “I can help you find someone, yaddah yaddah yaddah.”, i’m like, “Nope!”. They get two strikes before i tell them to eff right off. Ell oh ell!

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Nah.

Some people just get along better with certain genders. Honestly one of the most upstanding men I know grew up with all sisters and has always had more comfortable friendships with women.

Are you worried he might cheat or something?

Bob92220 · Answer

It depends on how you define "friends."
Some people define it as a significant-other, someone you always call, someone you can rely on, someone you can share with, etc. If that the case then I think a person is lucky if he/she has one or two friends. Because that's all the time and energy that person has.

litty · Answer

It depends on the friends. What kind of company does he keep? Are they coworkers, High school or college associates, women he friended online?

And what does he do with them? Does he go to bars and get drunk? Do they go to the beach together?

Lastly, how much time does he spend with you in comparison to all the women? That will tell you a lot.

exitseven · Answer

I used to have many female friends. It just ended up like that. I used to see them a lot, two in particular. My wife was extremely jealous and it was a big source of friction in our marriage. I sort of let these friendships lapse and have not seen any of these people in many years.

MikeInHawaii · Answer

I had lots of female friends in college. I now call them “girlfriends without benefits.” They’d call me when the needed help moving or had car problems (ran them out of gas). They’d also cry on my shoulder or bitch to me about what towering ass holes their boyfriends were, ask why they couldn’t be more like me, then go have sex with the guys they were bitching or crying about.

Anonymous · Answer

Honest opinion as always... That's weird. Its virtually unheard of for a guy to have nothing but female friends unless he is essentially a ladies magnet.

Whilst this shouldn't be an immediate concern; knowing how some women can be over certain guys, it could lead to competition or problems if they have any feelings towards him.

If you have some concerns, try to perform public displays of affection in their view to demonstrate he's yours.

Lycanthropic · Answer

In my opinion, the only good reason to have a lot of female friends is so you have access to their social network — which means the guy has more opportunities to meet new women.

I have a few female friends, but none that I would hang out with unless I wanted to fuck them, which I don't. I have male friends and I hangout with them. Females are for dating and fucking.

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

Seams like a red flag to me and I don’t have any friends lol.
If you’re extrovert enough to have friends but none that are the same sex probably some issues with creating healthy relationship. Or insecure around other men.
I’d just pay attention see where thing go I could be wrong

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Of course a guy can have too many female friends. It's the same idea as when a woman only hangs out with men because she "hates drama."

If people of your own gender don't generally want you around, there's ALWAYS a reason for it.

red324 · Answer

Personally I don't think girls and guys can be friends. Someone always wants something. I'm questioning the neighbor right now who's gay, but somehow the next door neighbor is always hanging out at on his patio with him. I'm thinking to myself why doesn't she hang out with her husband? I guess he works all time. I don't know I don't talk to my neighbors typically.

IsoUser · Answer

My guess is that they are female co-workers, I don't honestly know for sure Obviously. The man you married or in a relationship with comes home to you every night correct? With or without dinner by candlelight? Sometimes Chinese or Italian always with candles. I honestly cannot explain relationship between co-workers but I am assuming just friends because I don't even know where he works Lol

RolandCuthbert · Answer

No. . . that's the thing that incels don't get.

They don't know how to use the friendzone to their advantage by getting a whole lot of woman friends.

Any guy desired by women, is going to have a lot of friends who are women.

laurieluvsit · Answer

Yes, he can when he is in a committed relationship.

If he still wants to have a lot of 'other girls' around him while he is dating you, then he is not 'committed'.

Tell him to knock it off or go find someone who will make you exclusive.

Silver158 · Answer

Nah, you get guys that get on better with women than guys. Just like you get those who only get on with other guys. The same goes for women. But you'll always find those people who think that they're trying to fuck every one of them because that's what they would do. It's fine, don;t worry about it unless one of his friends is an asshole to you for no reason, that's when you know that one is only in it to get with him.

IJhonnyI · Answer

In my opinion if your in a relationship your only "friend" should be your girlfriend and for women your only "friend" should be your boyfriend and family that's the only exception ofc

Guy13 · Answer

YESsssss. It is not good for serious commitment. It's like the Doctor saying, "No more Jelly Bellies" but yet you surround your off-time/friend-time with the "jelly bellies"

Anonymous · Answer

A guy with too many female friends is either a low test male that might as well be a woman or an alpha male with above average test whose "female friends" are past lovers that all secretly want him.

We all know that most "friendship" with women is often one sided and the woman using the man for his services.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Guys and girls cannot be close, intimate friends. He may have acquaintances, but if any of these women are very close to him, you can bet he's slamming them or he is gay.

Ironic_Method · Answer

I have way more female friends than men, but I hang out with the men more regularly. No one has an issue with it. My female friends are really good to me and I highly encourage everyone to have some.

Greergr · Answer

I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't want the guy to be weird around my guy friends, so I'm not around his abundance of female friends.

fonduegirl · Answer

Depends. Like if he met them on a trip or something, they probably once have hooked up. But if they're from college time, that's fine, cuz many people make those.

SoftCliff · Answer

I wonder why he can't get along with men. I mean it's ok having a female friend, but having no guy friends at all raises a red flag

Sixgunsound · Answer

I’d honestly rather have more female friends, but being raised by a single mother set me up to function better in that environment.

Massageman · Answer

Not really. No one can have too many friends of either sex.  It's just a matter of whether they will be "best friends" or "acquintance-type friends".

pass_the_celery98 · Answer

I mean a few female friends from work or school or from his past is okay, but a lot…. unless a dude is gay seems kinda sus. It might be nothing but I don’t know.

Changiis07 · Answer

That would make me feel uncomfortable because guys and girls can't be friends

Anonymous · Answer

Is he gay? Friends that he fucked before or got head from? Maybe they like him which could be bad for you. Something wrong there if a man does t really have male friends. Maybe ex’s of his.

Anonymous · Answer

80/20 rule!

Top 20% guys do have so many female friends.

Whereas bottom 80 % men barely have any female interaction other than their mother, sister or aunt.

Because most women are only interested in top 20% men who're rich and has the best genes.

Harsh but true! If you still want to be in denial it's your life your choice! But this is a fact which you can verify it by yourself.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

They are just friends really, gender does Not really come in to it.

boredgal · Answer

honestly I'd also be uncomfortable, especially with the closeness and all.

H8INCHES · Answer

Yes, he can when he is in a committed relationship.

If he still wants to have a lot of 'other girls' around him while he is dating you, then he is not 'committed'.

Tell him to knock it off or go find someone who will make you exclusive.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I think one can be too many if you're in a relationship with someone that doesn't want you to have any but ask for me I don't think so I have a lot of female friends I don't think anything's wrong with that

loveslongnails · Answer

Sounds like your own personal problem. I have very few guy friends, and my S. O. doesn't care one bit.

peedy · Answer

I actually have very few friends I know a lot of people but they're not friends more like acquaintances for me to call someobe a friend they have to meet a very high standard and last the test of time

qusai_jo · Answer

in general he can deal with men? he knows men?  about your question for me i prefer to be friend with girls specially when i was live alone they are more caring helpfull and so on ,,

BuLLdogLover03 · Answer

Nope I kinda of like when a guy has a lot of female friends

Kabluie · Answer

I have mostly female friends, can never have too many friends.

momo__b · Answer

Yes. I was talking to a guy awhile ago and the majority of his “friends” are women he’s had sexual relations with. He keeps them as a back up which is disrespectful to them and makes him look like a low life

Jamie05rhs · Answer

They either complain that we don't have female friends, or they complain that we have too many. We can't win! Lol

Anthony20108 · Answer

I mean i have all female friends mostly because i get along better with woman and I don't think that's and issue, but just make sure he doesn't overstep any boundaries.

cis-bihet-allo · Answer

Yeah and a study proved it turns women off when a guy has too many female friends

hostboy__fastestlaps · Answer

No, platonic friendships are a hoax just like Santa Claus

Loser94 · Answer

Yes because at some point it gonna seem like he's either gay or trying to assemble himself a large harem

Zolly99999 · Answer

Yes I seen nothing wrong. I have lots of female friends I have no desire to be with sexually or romantically

Anonymous · Answer

Nah, I'd say as long as he's never had sexual relations with any of them.

baserunner611 · Answer

Yes, sometimes it is hard to keep males friends. Some need be husband and wife etc

Pudsmucker · Answer

I prefer female company over male. I believe you must have male camaraderie to balance things out.

Can a guy have too many female friends?

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