I left my girlfriend two years ago. Got in contact recently?

[Anonymous]

I broke up with my girlfriend two years ago as I wanted to focus on my studies. She was very emotional then, begging but I explained to her that it is in the best interest for both of us. Now, that I'm about to graduate, I contacted her. We spoke on call for an hour & half, she said on call she misses me, is single and then blocks me in the morning on whatsapp. I called her, she blocked that as well. I begged her on emails and stuff. She unblocked after two weeks on WhatsApp, we spoke and again on call. she had a hot and cold behaviour. The next morning I said something that I can't just be a back up option and you can't have the best of both worlds. She got angry with that message and blocked again saying she does not want to hear from me again. What has happened here?

[SueShe]

What is happening is that you could not leave her alone and that you had to re-open a wound that you deliberately caused when, under fallacious reasons, you broke up with her.

Now, you remembered her and thought "how about I contact her and see if I can turn the knife around in the wound and see how she reacts".

Why could you not leave her to go ahead in life without you? Was it necessary to behave the way you did knowing how much you hurt her before? Are you honestly hoping that everything will be fine and that you can resume where you dumped her? Wake up and realize that people have feelings and are not just toys to play with mainly if feelings are involved.

If you have the slightest dignity, you cut all the contact with her and let her live her life without toxicity.

[Asker]

Okay I feel like I need to give a bit more context. So Two years ago she had first initiated the break up which I respectfully accepted. No contact from me in a month and then she found out I was leaving the country permanently. That is when she came running back, begging to make it work. I just couldn't look past that. I left the country, and now that i'm about to graduate I got in touch with her.

So yes a bit of context which I should have given earlier as it seems people are judging here.

[SueShe]

Yes, your update changes the context a little.

However, I still think that you should go your separate ways because if it did not work the first time, it is not likely going to work this time. You have no guarantee that the same thing will not happen again.

[Asker]

On call, I mentioned I'll be in the country in 5 months. She said she's single, i'm the only guy she's been in a relationship & she further said if she hasn't been in a relationship in 2 years, why would she be in relationship in coming 5 months. That kind of suggests that she wants to wait for me & a slight hint that she might be interested.

Furthermore, I asked her on call that in this two year gap, the guys you met, do you find them attractive or like them? She said they are like brothers 😂

[Asker]

So now having read all this, what do you think is happening here?

[SueShe]

In my opinion, she looks as if she is desperate and has not found anyone that would accept her in those months. You seem to be the best substitute for her and her lack of alternatives.

[Asker]

Okay so how should I go about this if I want her back? I don't want to come off as needy but rather as high value.

[Anonymous]

You caused this behavior by being inconsistent with her. She probably feels she can't trust you. When she was begging for you back, you wanted nothing to do with it but now that the tables have turned, you have a problem with it. I don't blame her.

[Asker]

Okay I feel like I need to give a bit more context. So Two years ago she had first initiated the break up which I respectfully accepted. No contact from me in a month and then she found out I was leaving the country permanently. That is when she came running back, begging to make it work. I just couldn't look past that. I left the country, and now that i'm about to graduate I got in touch with her.

So yes a bit of context which I should have given earlier as it seems people are judging here.

[Staximus]

What happened is you fucked up, smart guy. You broke up with her for a bullshit reason 2 years ago, half the guys in college have girlfriends. You showed her she wasn't important enough to want around anymore, just a distraction. Now you are the one contacting her again after you dumped her, so you are the one treating her like a backup option, dipshit. How the fuck is she supposed to feel about all that? Welcome to real life pal. Time to get your head out of your ass and start thinking about the way other people feel if you ever want to have any real relationships or friends for that matter.

[boggboss]

Clearly she is not over u ending it enjoys when she talks to you but if not remembers what u done and can't stand it

[Anonymous]

She had second thoughts and move on.