Is the internet making us lonely?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It’s faintly absurd. You get, for example, the technology critic and venture capitalist Bill Davidow on The Atlantic’s website writing about tech companies that ‘hijack neuroscience’, comparing them both to tobacco companies and casinos. Having described a social epidemic, he laments that there’s ‘no simple solution to this problem’. Then, suddenly mild, he suggests that users could maybe place their smartphones out of reach, sometimes, in order to focus on the people around them.

Davidow is missing the obvious point. If the situation really is as exploitative as he claims, and you aren’t naïve enough to believe that industries would regulate themselves, then you basically have one option: you regulate them.

‘Regulation’ is a scary word, especially for those of us accustomed to the libertarian mores that have governed the past two decades of internet growth. It’s understandable that we’re hesitant to talk about regulating distraction-inducing technologies. For one thing, we typically think of compulsive behaviour as the fault of machines or individuals, rather than as a designed experience, angled toward strategic ends. For another, we tend to associate regulation with paternalism that limits the choices of users.

In this case, though, it’s possible to imagine regulation that actually expands users’ choices. It doesn’t need to be especially invasive or dramatic, and it would be designed to give users more control over their experiences online.

That task would not be easy. The designer drug market provides a helpful analogy here. Every time governments ban these substances – which include synthetic cannabinoids, often called K2 or Spice – designers simply come out with a new, slightly different version that slips through the strictures of the law. Similarly, with something as slippery as distraction, and as polymorphous as the web, it’s easy to imagine companies finding ways to tweak their designs and find new ways to hook users. Still, regulation can send a message. And it can target some of the most common tools that designers use to draw users into a digital machine zone.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

I think internet and social media fucked up a lot of things in my personal opinion, Mainly because I lived in a time where we didn’t walk around with smart phones and we didn’t really know what things were going on in the world other than what the News shared with us but back then we really didn’t focus on that shit , relationships were valued more because people didn’t have tons of options and weren’t secretly flirting behind each other’s backs etc people You probably would of never heard from again have easy access just to come back into your life , things that never really crossed our minds is now constantly crossing our minds , the best thing I did for myself was to limit myself on social media and not make it a priority , I still use it I just don’t prioritize it , realizing 95 percent of the shit we see on the internet is a bunch on garbage bullshit , Internet is a money making tool it was designed to make money , instead of a salesman showing up on your doorstep trying to convince you to buy some piece of shit vacuum , or pills to help you lose weight , etc. Internet eliminated that so now that they can do it right from their fingertips. If people actually put their phones down and looked around them they would realize that social media and internet is a bunch of bullshit but so many people buy into the shit and allow if to effect their lives , mainly out of boredom , and comparing their own lives to others. It’s a sad world we live in , Marriages don’t make it like they use to because have become very selfish , I can go on and on

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

Yes. People feel more comfortable speaking to strangers or friends online more so than publically. It's because it doesn't require much effort and easier to walk away from someone or conversation they don't deem important enough. Texting has also changed how people communicate drastically these days. Texting was never meant to be a way to have a full conversation with someone, it was suppose to be for when you are in rush or to busy to pick up a phone call so you shoot them a quick message to let them know that you will call them back. Now people no longer want to even pick up the phone and talk or hear another persons voice, they rather you just text them cause their social skills have gotten completely lazy. People claim to feel and be lonely these days but when someone is there physically they run away from them.

BeeNee · Accepted Answer

Loneliness existed long before the internet, television, phones, or electronics came along. Just like I don't believe a movie alone can make someone violent, I don't believe the internet can make you lonely. There are plenty of social aspects of being on the internet that can help connect us to one another, like finding an online group that goes running, or signing up for a dating app that can help you find others. If you make efforts to seek out connections in your life, and you are open to being social, you can get out fo a state of being lonely that has nothing to do with the internet. It's a state of mind that must be altered within you.

ManOnFire · Answer

People who already feel lonely will feel even worse with the Internet I think. Especially people who don't really go out much or do a lot, they don't realize that spending so much time online makes them feel worse.

SoftCliff · Answer

Yes and no.

I believe this boils down to whether you believe social media and technology is the cause of our woes or their solution.

in my opinion, it's just a tool, so it all depends on how you use it. Some people use it to stay in touch with distant friends and relatives, and they enjoy getting a glimpse into their lives when they can’t do that in person. Then there are those who crave attention, and use Likes as a metric of personal validation. For those people, they get addicted to the high of popularity, and become increasingly dependent on it for their self esteem.

Meaningful relationships take a lot of time to build, and require intimate spaces in which to do so. Facebook, Twitter, messaging apps, ... none of them really provide those spaces. They're about small little snippets and instant responses. Whatever the benefits, those aren't deep or meaningful engagements. It doesn't help that many of these spaces are just platforms for one's own narcissism, and narcissism is the culture of the day: self-empowerment, talking about what I want, my mental health conditions, my identity, my struggles, my this, my that, me me me. And thus we have a bunch of people on tiny podiums, shouting at each other into the ether, and nobody actually cares. Which is why despite all the "awareness" of mental health, depression, all the messages about self-love and empowerment, and all the brave battles for the right to one's identity which dominate social media... so many people remain fucking miserable and lonely.

You cannot have real friends if you spend all your time talking about yourself and never open your ear to listening. You cannot have real love until you're willing to be vulnerable. And you cannot be a real, rounded person until you drop the pretence of self-control and accept that who you are is a negotiation between your own desires, objective reality, and other people's perception.

Adam_INTJ · Answer

For the first time in history, it's not boring to stay at home, alone.

Community organizatio s have been on the decline since the advent of the internet.

Add to that the fact that algorithms feed us content that is unique to each person, and we become insulated from online communities. And each other's interests. YouTube doesn't help you understand the people around you with new stuff. It feeds you more highlights from the 76ers because that's what you watch most. You probably don't even know what music people in your neighborhood likes.

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

Not at all, the internet is meant to help us talk to people we wouldn't otherwise met. No one in the comments here would have other been able to communicate to eachother if G@G didn't exist. 👫

there's multiplayer games so we can play globally if we want to.📹

there's forums and videos so we can rant to people who care to listen. There's blogs, pinterest, tumblr, Twitter for the same reason. 💬

There's dating apps too.💝

It just depends how we use it.

NathanDavis · Answer

not in my case... internet made it much more easy to reach and to be in "contact" with all those I am close with

but I am sure that yes, it could make it easier to isolate for those who want to go that path an isolate further

Lionman95 · Answer

I think it depends what you need of other people because if you just wanna get to hear other people´s lifestories and wanna have people to talk to you and keep you entertained it´s not a problem.

But if you have emotional problems and you crave physical touch it surely makes one lonely especially if you don´t know them offline. Because though one has contact with online like GaG the contact is not very deep if there are no offline meetings.

I think the internet therefore creates a paradox that leads to the illusion that you are not alone as long as you have but it´s not healthy contact and you loose the moment on your connection gets lost.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe certain ASPECTS of it. Things like Facebook gives us a distorted view of people's lives. I think that can make people lonely and depressed that are not in a very healthy state of mind to begin with. Beyond that I don't think the internet makes us lonely so much as it feeds into our social weaknesses. It gets us off the hook for having to push some of ourselves a bit and meeting face to face.

As it pertains to relationships with the opposite gender. I don't think women realize or appreciate the amount of options they command now. Women have so much variety now they don't HAVE to rely on a man for ANYTHING. In this aspect I think men have to accept thier new roles. Because it's not changing anytime soon.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I think so, but as its always been around or me. That and texting, I will say people do weird stuff. Like I had a boyfriend that would say things were fine in person but soon as we were apart he'd be like, we need to talk about this or that.

He couldn't just talk in person, he was afraid of confrontation but he had no issue doing it online or via text for hours on end.

globetrotter22 · Answer

I think it’s definitely impacted healthy social interaction and communication. For a long time (50s to mid 90s) you had to actually talk to people over the phone for all different purposes professional to romantic. Now we can do 90%+ interaction with ever hearing someone’s voice. Just texts, emails and other quick faceless messages.

This was nice at first because you can get right to the point without all the pleasantries and extended conversations. It’s more convenient. But still are people any less busier nowadays?

Anyway the internet used to be an escape from reality. Now we try to leave the internet for reality. That’s lonely.

lilyanony1 · Answer

Yes I spend more time online then with real people only to find I'm regularly insulted disrespected or trolled...
It makes me tired but I keep going because I live in hope there are some decent people left out there, to connect with.

SlightlyEccentric · Answer

"Give a man a mask, and he will reveal his true self."

That quote is how I perceive the internet. A place where you say things you most likely wouldn't say in public. A place where you can, for better or worse, say what you really think. And I think it's because of that, that ultimately makes people feel lonely because we come to realize the true nature of many people makes one depressed and sad that this is the world we live in.

wheresmrcunnunglis · Answer

No, I am so happy for the internet as it has allowed me access to groups of people who DO share the same interest as me. Resulting in me feeling less pressured to give into a dogma mentality just to survive and find my people, tribe, or community.

menina · Answer

I think it depends for how long you use it and what for. Internet can be useful for some things but it also has its downside. I believe you can use it in moderation and still have a "offline" life.

osingran · Answer

I am nearing my 30s, so I think it's fair to say that I had my own share of pre-internet and post-internet time. What I know for certain is that I never was a very people person. I was very closed and alone in school, a little bit better in the university, but not much. I tried my best to socialize but it always was incredibly energy consuming for me, as if I have to physically force myself to stay in touch with the people. Internet is easier in that regard. I can socialize whenever I want and it was incredibly self-fulfilling experience to chat with people I would've never ever met in my life. So, if not for the internet, I probably would've been incredibly alone and depressed. Pretty much like I was in my early 20s.

MTC29 · Answer

In some cases, yes, but for the most part it has made keeping in touch with friends and family so easy that it is as though we've never left. I fled California for Florida, but I' in near constant contact with my sister, niece and nephew. My 80-year-old mom? well, she insists on a phone call!

Ill_made_Knight · Answer

There are less and less reasons to go out and be among the other actual people every day it seems,
Typing at someone doesn't have the same impact and leaves more doubts about intent and mood than interacting with a smiling flesh and blood face in person...
Fairly worrisome I think

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it is. I don't care about likes or attention online. Social media is toxic, GAG is incredibly toxic. Eventually I will leave this site. I really can't stand the extremist feminist views of certain females on here or people's anti-religion/anti-God hate speech on here. There are guys on here who don't know how to act like men either. I only sign in on GAG because I have met some cool girls.

dustybiker · Answer

No. The opposite. As long as you go in with the right outlook, and respect, you can gather good people, pretty much anywhere.

AsaKyo · Answer

I'm gonna say no only because the Internet has helped me meet a lot of cool people throughout the years that I would have never met otherwise

Oliviaarkansas · Answer

i think it CAN. esp during covid. easy to say no i can't go etc. you have to remind ur self that people r important and u need that in life

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