Should I end things with this guy?

[myabe123]

Okay so he’s really nice but all we do is make out at his place and stuff. I went out with him and his friends and his friend told me “havi” loves you. But his parents are from India and he straight up told me that his mom wants him to marry an Indian girl and I know he hasn’t told his parents. But like is this really something I should be getting into?

[Gent207-2]

I've seen this story before it goes one of 3 ways

Version A. He breaks with tradition marries the love of his life and you two grow old togeather.

Version B.) He placates between you and his mom by never taking a side and always looking for ways to stay neutral. Ether your marriage falls a part or it never happens.

Version C.) You bring up the deeper issues and realize he's not the one for you and you run. He gets into an arranged marriage carrying fond memories of you. While you move on to an upgrade

[lolita222]

NO stop it now !!! i fucked up the same way my man comes from a muslim family who wanted to find my man an iraqi girl and it’s still the worst mistake i ever made we’ve been in the just “dating” phase for over 4 years now and i know well probably never get married because i’m a white American converted muslim but he still tells me his mom can find him a girl anytime he wants. with religious ethnic families god comes first and then comes family, it’s a losing battle trying to live up to expectations you’ll probably never be able to fully meet...

[darkoflights]

well it is always not how it works about Muslims cuz i know a lot of Muslim friends who are married to foreigners. unfortunately this guy is just taking your time with his excuses

[LegallyBad]

I wouldn't get to into it as he's already told you the route he is intending to take. His said his mum wants him to marry a certain type of girl. Maybe his mum did, maybe she didn't but he's told you what he is about. If things develop further, he might struggle to introduce you to his family as his girlfriend and you have the right to be out in the open.

End it on the basis that friendship is better between you both - don't worry about his friend said as it may be a hook to keep you around.

[OlderAndWiser]

What is your goal in dating? At this point, are you just interested in finding a partner for casual sex, or are you looking for long term commitment?

[myabe123]

Not casual sex

[myabe123]

Plus he’s younger

[OlderAndWiser]

"he straight up told me that his mom wants him to marry an Indian girl and I know he hasn’t told his parents." He is not going to act contrary to his parents' wishes and he won't even tell them about you. It sounds as if there is NO long term relationship in the future with this guy. He knows that and he is simply trying to use you: "all we do is make out at his place and stuff."

[Part2603]

If he was using her, I think he'd have pushed for more than making out.
Don't worry about it. Unless you're about to hit the wall and are certain you want to get married soon...
He never mentioned his mother to you. The fair assumption would be that he just doesn't give a shit what she has to say on the matter.
How does that song go? "It's my life"

[OlderAndWiser]

@Part2603 "He never mentioned his mother to you. The fair assumption would be that he just doesn't give a shit what she has to say on the matter." If he really didn't care, then it was very, very stupid to even mention it to this lady.

[BlueScorpio]

If he's not going to be honest and tell his mother/family about you then there's no point in staying with each other. If he needs to pick one, you or his mother's/family expectations. Please know that in a lot cultrues they will choose family cause they don't want to run the risk of being disowned. So that is a chance both of you will have to take. I think it's conversation that needs to be had by now.

[Paris13]

Indians are Strict and You will never win with this. I Married a Muslim out in Egypt and it was fine with Them all I was a Christian. But with this deal. He will Need to Choose and it is Best NOT to be There for You will only end up Getting Hurt. xx

[Static_In_The_Attic]

The only way to move in life is forward & if you want to move forward I think Havi & you have to have a heart to heart talk & you have to ask a few questions. Havi’s friends says he loves you & the question is does Havi love you or is it just a fling? As for Havi’s mom she wants Havi to marry an Indian girl & the question is what does Havi want?

Are you & Havi boyfriend & girlfriend or are you two friends with benefits?

[TheMajesticKing777]

Hard to tell if not impossible to say where life will take you, I guess you'll just have enough roll the dice with this one and make a choice you think it's best for everyone, if y'all are happy together I don't know why other people's opinions should matter

[TheMajesticKing777]

To**

[Sheyhoney]

If he isn’t going to make the effort to stand up to his parents to say he wants you, I would get out of there ASAP

[CallmeTheKnight]

Those kind of relationships are complicated. If he's not committing because of his parents approval, then it's not worth it.

You should hold off on the making out and sex or whatever you're doing and see where things are going. Don't ask us random internet people. Learn from home to see what's in store for yalls future.

Put your big girl boots on and have that serious discussion

[litty]

When you marry someone, you are also marrying their parents. Many a relationship have ended because of family drama.

If he's very hesitant to take things further or can't decide because of the indian girl marriage thing, you more or less already know how it's going to play out if you stick with him.

[Anonymous]

Ok is it really because of his mom or you’re just trying to find an excuse out of there. Because you mentioned he’s really nice, all you two do is make out. You make it sound as though it’s boring. He’s boring. You’re young, maybe you want a man who lives life a little on the edge, which he isn’t. I mean if he’s into you it’s his life, not his mom’s. A part of feels you’re looking for an excuse to get out of this relationship based on what you said.

[Part2603]

This.

[TroyDT]

Straight up? He's not the guy for you. You want more than casual but that is all you will ever really have with a guy who only wants to make out and has told you his mom wants him to marry someone with characteristics that you were not born with.

[Manab]

I am an Indian and I am giving you an advice. As an western girl do not date Indian men who are mama's boys or highly religious. Not all Indian men are like that and those that are hardly change. Best you should confront him about where you stand and your significance and acceptance to his family.

[NathanDavis]

you're already having doubts and second thoughts so...

it's clearly not meant to be, it does not look promising at all

a healthy and BETTER relationship should not be the one you're struggling to fix or make work...

[Bklynbadboy12]

Well that all depends on you and what your looking for and how much younger that you is he. We have to talk cause your posted so much content about guys treating you badly now its seems like you've found a good guy and your looking for excuses to end it and I think I know why

[FilmGuy93]

Given all the information you've just given us, why the hell would you stay even a second longer in that relationship?

[slatyb]

"All we do is make out at his place and stuff" That doesn't sound like much of a relationship. If he's unwilling to go against his parent's desires, there's no hope for you.

[20yearsolder]

If you're looking for Mr Right, that's not him. You're wasting your time. His family will disown him if he doesn't marry an Indian girl. Chances are if you don't end it he will.

[AviatorTom]

I'm guessing you know the answer to the question. Just remember, there are many different kinds of fish in the sea, and most can be caught with the correct bait.

[coolbreeze]

Short term dating is ok but long term it won't work out if his parents doesn't accept you. Unless he disobeys them and be with you anyway.

[bowenw]

I would ask him sooner than later if he plans to follow his mother's wishes for him to marry and Indian girl, and can he live with the consequences if he doesn't.

[Likes2drive]

Yeah because if you marry him you marry the family and I doubt they will let it go that far, they don’t usually go outside their culture, it’s a big problem unfortunately trying to date outside their group

[bubblegunnn]

If u both love each other why dont go for it.. its him who will married, not his parents tho

[Wraith_Cemetery]

Easier said than done in Arab and Indian cultures. You marry the parents as well, in those kinds of cultures.

[bubblegunnn]

How come?