Should I end things with my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My relationship is 4 years long, & the main issue throughout the relationship has been him, not to sound like I’m innocent. But, he’s bad at communicating even though we went to couple’s counseling twice for it (multiple appointments between the 2 therapists). He starts to get better, then fails terribly. He doesn’t respect me and my boundaries much.

Recently, I asked him to mail me items I left behind at his place last I stayed over (he lives a few hours away from me & I needed it soon). He states that he couldn’t find the item where I told him it was at. I asked him to look nearby for it, & he got upset out of nowhere telling me he’d “let me know” when he found it. Hours past, no update, I texted him multiple times & he finally responded saying “I fell asleep.” I got upset & told him to forget it, calling it a night. He didn’t say anything after that besides in the morning that he found it. After, no texts throughout the day. I’m now begging for his attention (I do often) & he disclosed how “tired” he’s been (same excuse) with work & mailed it. Then, proceed to make me feel bad about the whole situation. I tried to talk to him about it tonight but he’s using the same excuse of feeling “not good” again so I let it be. What should I do?

Even the last time I was at his place, it wasn’t the best. He only wanted to be intimate for his satisfaction amongst other things like getting a pet bunny right after me disclosing to him how nauseous I am & prefer him to get the animal by himself. I even requested him to leave the car one day so I could cry in it/get some alone time to process what even was happening. When I got upset with him during that time over something, he didn’t even bother to apologize or talk, just silent and waited for me to accept it so we can move on.

don’t get me wrong though, he’s a good guy most of the time. We enjoy each other’s company & all of that when things go smoothly/we’re on the same page. But I’m not sure if he’s the one for me anymore.

[jorfan3]

It doesn't sound like your relationship is easy, and a good marriage takes work, but feels easy.

It's okay to be picky about your long term partner, and it sounds like you have some chemistry, but that you don't have a good relationship. From what I read, I'd be interested in leaving.

• It doesn't sound like it has potential
• It doesn't sound like you are happy
• It doesn't sound like he's as invested in it as he used to be

The fact that you're asking is also a good indicator you're ready to break up... It's almost like you're just looking for permission.

[SexyRedd1966]

In the first paragraph you said he doesn't respect you or your boundaries... move on

[DemonTime]

End it! That man is playing with your feelings and your time, guys who don't respect their women is usually because they have a side thing acess or find his social media, see if who he follows, if he follows nothing but women 🚩 frankly by 4 years you should already have been proposed to, save yourself and your heart from being broken in this miserable relationship that requires you to cry in a car and requires therapy.

[Guy13]

Sounds like some space would be good for both parties involved but I’m not there….

[Asker]

I did ask for space earlier in the relationship, about a year in, and he said no because that’s equivalent to breaking up. He stood me up for a lunch date that’s why I wanted space then at least. But he did ask for space too a few months because he was unsure about a couple of things I couldn’t control. I gave him the same treatment but now he respects the wanting of space so I guess that’s up for discussion

[Guy13]

What you are saying is that you knew in first 9 months that there were issues worth parting over, brewing.