Guy lied about his age. Should I cut things off or continue dating him?

[Anonymous]

I met this man online and we've been chatting for a few weeks. On our third date, after a discussion about age, he admitted to being 6 years older than his dating profile stated. For reference, I'm 26 and his profile said he was 26 as well. Turns out he is actually 32. He said he lied because he wasn't taking tinder seriously and he looks the part the anyway. I was shocked because he does indeed look younger than 33.. We had a great connection, kissed, held hands, talked for a while and I enjoyed the date, but now I'm a bit unsure about how to proceed. Apparently he was never married or had kids even though he owned a house with his girlfriend of 8 years prior to the relationship ending.. I also don't buy his reasoning about why it ended: "things just kinda fizzled out over time." What are your thoughts? Should I cut things off or proceed, but with caution?

[DaveJord]

Honestly, it's a judgement call... once upon a time I found things like this very unsettling, but after being through the ups and downs of online dating... I mean if you believe you have a strong connection with the guy then you should proceed with caution, that would be my advice.

I buy the excuse of not taking Tinder seriously, but then again what was his mindset as far as being on tinder, is he taking it seriously now as in taking you seriously? Thats the question you need to ask and get an answer to.

When I first started online, I was not sure how seriously I was willing to take it. Over time my perspective changed, and I have met and dated some very amazing women that I took very seriously. But a lot of women on dating sites, are a hot mess or complete joke... so you have to take that with a grain of salt.

When it comes to previous relationships, that's a tricky area to get into with a new romantic interest. I have had lots of women want to know about my pervious relationships. As you get into the questions and answers you start to see the anxiety build in them, and its unsettling. Because there is no way for them to really understand the situation and circumstance because every relationship is different, and women tend to let it get into their head and make assumptions or connect dots that may or may not be there.

I for one never ask about a women's previous relationships and judge her on her actions and interactions within the current relationship. I try to treat them all based upon their individual merits and actions with me. Because honestly there is no way of knowing what lead up to or cause the failures of their past. People live and learn and improve or get worse over time... but I strive to judge them for who they are to me, how they treat me, and respond to me in the here and now.

So, he lived with a woman for 8 years and they split, I was married for 22 years and divorced... does that make me undatable because you don't or can't even comprehend how difficult that situation at the time might have been for me. But now you want all the details and there is no good way for me to frame it all for you, without getting into things that I honestly don't want to talk about and that I have moved on from and don't want to affect my current possibilities and future with the person I am with now.

I have sat through and listened to women tell me their entire dating past, even when I did not ask for it. But she felt it was something I needed to know, or I should want to know. I honestly didn't care... but then when asked and I talk about my past, she responds like you did... as if there is something there for her to be concerned or worried about. And that's unfair to me, because I am not looking to repeat those mistakes or have that type of relationship again... and I have learned from those mistakes and will not participate in that pattern of behaviors or accept it from anyone else within my future relationships.

So in the end this all could speak more to your own insecurities then his... but you have to trust and verify and move forward with some degree of caution, while giving the guy a fair chance. But if you feel the connection is not there then jump ship now.

So, I recommend that you sit down and really discuss this issue with him and make your concerns known and see where it leads.

[Lionman95]

I think it depends on how much you trust and how much the age difference is an issue to you because I also remember that when I did online dating women lied about their age so it´s not that abnormal. Do you feel comfortable messaging with him or does it bother you that he wasn´t true from the start?

[Asker]

It bothers me that he wasn't honest from the get go. I've never lied about my age before and I think it's stupid to lie about something as simple as that

[Lionman95]

If that´s so. It sounds like you´re not keen on trying to repair it so I would cut it off.

[Catarine]

Trust is like glass, once it's broken it will never be the same when you put it together. If a relationship starts with a lie I believe he will always be dishonest.

[Anonymous]

The long and the short of it is that he lied, it wasn't a mistake so it doesn't matter what his reasoning is his intention was to decieve.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Yeah, the fact that he lied is a huge red flag.