When should you end a situationship?

[Anonymous]

Been in a situationship for 6 months. To start with I was just going with the flow and never wanted to pressure anything into labelling or that. However since the guy has explicitly said a relationship is off the cards my perception has changed. I can’t help but feel like I’m just being temporarily used til he finds someone he actually wants to pursue and it’s causing me a lot of anxiety and insecurity. Given this I feel like I should end things but I am very good friends with the guy and don’t want to risk losing that. Any advice? Should I do what’s best for my mental health or stop deeping it and just accept the relationship for its casual nature?

[Cynicaldreamer]

When you realize you both have different needs in said relationship.

You said yourself he's not going to date you, and the chances of that changing are slim. Yet he's "with" you.

Yeah he's just using you, mostly for companionship and/or sex. You're literally a friend with benefits.
And yeah, there's a chance when the right girl comes along, he's gonna toss you aside... returning if/when he's single again.

You already feel like you're being used right and said situationship isn't going anywhere-

Sounds like you need to end it right now. Explain to him you both want different things and you need to distance yourself from him so you can move on. If he's truly your friend, he will understand and respect that

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Great great answer/advice here 💯!!!

[Xoxocutekitty]

End it now. Just do it over text, say you're reevaluating the situation and you'd rather hold out for something better. It'll get his attention fast and if he's anything like my immature ex, he'll get angry about it. But don't let that stop you. You are better off waiting for a high quality guy (one that wouldn't tolerate any situationships on the side) as it sounds like that would make you happier.

The longer you wait to end it the more you will resent your friend for not 'caring about your feelings' or having the kindness to end it himself.

If he's a true friend he'll give you space and realize that what he's doing isn't 'adding to your life.' A true friend will understand and support you. If he genuinely has feelings for you, make him prove his worth as a boyfriend before giving him the Green light. If he really likes you he won't view it as a test, he will view it as a way to make you happy.

[Floppy2112]

Well, you are a friends with benefits. And that's all your ever going to be to him. He more than likely has others, but you may be the easiest to access for the time being. So you can either keep having meaningless sex or you can end it, either way, I am sure, he does not care.

[OlderAndWiser]

When Is It Time To Break Up? ↗

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I hope you consider the advice of @Cynicaldreamer cuz it's the best advice in my opinion and so true.

[Screenwriter]

Sounds like you want more than what this guy is offering.
If you feel like you're being used, more than like, you are a placeholder. ARE you really good friends? Or is that you feel that you are a good friend to HIM? Really find out what is going on. A friendship is NOT a situation. A friendship is a solid relationship, just not a romantic one. Do you actually HAVE that?
It doesn't sound like it to me. Friendships also aren't CASUAL. They're serious and valuable. It doesn't sound like you have anything that you want and you should cut your losses.

[SphynxUK]

It sounds as if you had a relationship in mind later down the line. That’s ok, but it’s not what he wants.
I feel you’re there for his use rather than anything else.
You aren’t happy though, and your feeling insecure. Thats not how you should feel in this situation.
I feel you should move on.
If you are truly friends, everything will
sort itself out down the line.

[amadimal]

If you caught feelings for him and he can't offer you what you'd like (his motivation isn't important), it's time to detach yourself from the situation.
You clearly said it's causing you anxiety and feelings of low self-worth, so there's no need to prolong it until he says he's done/he finds someone else.
Don't welcome unhappiness in your life with open arms.

[ThePolishKnight37]

Ask him specifically why a relationship is off. It could be he feels you are out of his league and he will lose you anyways. It could be a huge age difference. It could one of his insecurities, find out, the real reason why. I am in a relationship like that and it is me saying she can do better so why waste my time. I am way older than her.

[Anonymous]

You could talk to him, tell him that you want something serious and this casual sort-of relationship is holding you back and you'd like it if he stayed around as a friend (without benefits) because you genuinely like himI don't feel like it's worth waiting for something to happen if he made it clear he doesn't want anything serious :/

[Dchrls78104]

It would be good to end a relationship:
1. If only one of you wants anything more than sex.
2. If every attempt at conversation ends in an argument or an impasse.
3. If misunderstandings between you only become more and more frequent, intense, or noticeable; and harder to settle.
4. If the relationship only brings complications and pain in your life.

[Siren777]

When you want. When your needs are not met. If you worry and the person makes you feel miserable when you think of them. It's time to move on.

[sheikalana]

Girl, it's pretty clear that it's time to end that situantionship before is too late. Even if you're good friends with him you'll need to detach from him for some time and go back to talking to him again when you're ready.

[Runnerc838]

It depends what future you want.
If you're fine being in a friends with benefits situation that's great.
If you want a commitment, love, relationship and kids etc. you may be wasting your time in this situation.

[spartan55]

I mean, what did you expect? You either didn't think it through very well, or you really didn't know.
by the way, the term 'situationship' needs to just go away.

[FilmGuy93]

Honestly... you are being used, that's what a situationship is. It's two people co-using each other for a time. I think you should end it when the situationship stops enhancing your life. I have had to learn this lesson the hard way.

[exitseven]

Is situationship even a word? If it isn't we should make it one.
That being said, he is friends with you and doesn't want to take it further. He is being honest with you and is trying not to hurt you. Enjoy this for what it is.

[whatdoyouwantt]

Well if he said he ain't lookin for serious, I wouldn’t waste my time on that cuz nothing is gonna change

[DizzyDesii]

End it the moment you no longer envision a future together

[RHK36]

Situationship? That's not a thing. That was the red flag to show it was doomed from the start.

[Waldoe]

if you can accept it as casual, then you will not risk other parts of the friendship, but you should do whats right for you

[OddBeMe]

If it’s toxic, ie, you don’t like spending time with him, or vice versa.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

When you have to call it a situationship. What are you, 5?

[jimmy2]

Well if your not going to marry him its time to end it