Is it really (/always) women's fault when they have bad experience with some men?

Question

So do women date bad men on purpose like many guys say? So do women like bad guys?

I keep seeing guys on the Internet who say that women like bad guys. So i want to know how many of you think like this
This is NOT MY opinion and so do not make it about me. I just need the poll. So please vote!! I need the poll for another question.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Absolutely not! Men can put on facade to hide who or how they really are in order to manipulate their partners.

Yeah, I'm sure we've all overlooked glaring red flags at one point in our lives for whatever reason... probably lust, desperation, or naivety. However, sometimes we don't know what we're getting until it's too late.
The important thing is to get out or move on when you realize someone isn't right for you instead of trying to "fix" him.

And before anyone says, "Women do too!" Yes, I know... anyone can if we're being candid. But the asker is asking about men at the moment.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Some males blame females for everything.

Of course it's not always females' fault, for choosing bad guys. Sometimes it's lying, dishonest, guys who pretend and manipulate girls because they don't want to be honest about what they really want. And sometimes things just don't work out between two people, and it's no one person's fault, it's just incompatibility.

I voted B. It's sad to see the highest number of male votes right now is for A. They're so biased and bitter.

ManOnFire · Answer

Running back to bad guys again and again does become your fault. And unfortunately women do this more than men. Although initially there are clear clues to what a person is, and if you overlook those things in the hopes of still making something work with them or you think you can "change" the guy, then you are foolishly at fault even more.

coachTanthony · Answer

It's always your fault if you keep doing it over and over.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Some guys are very honest and upfront about their intentions and some will hide it. If a guy tells you he has no plans of ever becoming serious with you or just wanting to use you for a good time, then take that as face value and a warning and leave such men alone. If you don't heed the warning then only you are to blame for the outcome. If he doesn’t and his hiding that from you, then it's not you're fault.

People seem to think everyone should be clairvoyant and know everything that's going to happen before it does, but that's not reality. We're not all knowing and it's impossible to read minds. its like be blamed for not knowing someone was going to rob you on Saturday night while weren't home or having your car stolen at 2am in tge mornibg while sleeping.

I think a lot of men do put the blame on women as scapegoat for their bad actions and honestly that's not fair cause they hate when it's done to them. If they make a poor relationship decision their not blaming themselves, they are blaming the woman.

If a guy gets with a woman who is hurtful and manipulative, is it his fault for not knowing she would turn out that way? If men don't want to be stuck with the wrong woman for the rest of their life, is it his fault for producing a child with her? If it's our fault for not knowing a man's flaws and deceptive ways months or years in the future, then it's their fault for not knowing as well.

RiseofArtemis · Answer

Lets see, if the guys you had been with have a history of crimes and none have a clean slate then yes its your fault.

Women decide who they have a relationship with and men use that chance to have sex with them. Guys who have a negative attention seem to be more attractive to women because they are mentioned more often then the good guys. Women want someone who's known by the people. But sure just go for the serial rapist or murderer, drug dealer because he's all over the news and looks good.

If women end up alone and miserable then its their own fault, they have all the things they need to have a happy life already within their own body. Women can create children and men want children. If women stayed traditional stay at home mothers they wouldn't have to worry about their life. Now you'd think "what if he leaves."

That's where society comes, we raise the children to be loyal and always good to each other and no one is allowed to be raised by a single parent if both are alive.

Lionman95 · Answer

I would say it´s not always the woman´s fault. Reading your description I think it´s easier for a guy to recognise bad behavior in another guy as it is easier for a woman to recognise bad behavior in another woman. Therefore many guys will say it´s a woman´s fault.

I think the reason why so many women have bad experiences with guys while dating is because those guys check off many boxes a woman is looking for in a man. Like bad guys are often good communicators, they are self-confident, have a good physique and are in shape and know what they want.

While on the other hand guys that may be better partners oftentimes lack in one or more of those categories so they get ignored by a woman. But at the same time it´s same with guys that just go after the best looking woman in the room and wonder why they can´t find a partner.

The problem is that some guys that are toxic for a relationship show that off in a subtle way or by how they behave around women but that gets ignored because they have other good qualities. A classical scenario is there is a guy that´s player and had many girls before and there is a woman that thinks he would settle down for her because they are both so compatible...

Another issue situation is that many guys love to brag and promise a woman the world. That´s especially an issue if he gets what he wants and making a promise is enough to get it. Because of that he will never do what he promised if speaking out the promise is enough. A guy promising a lot and not delivering anything of it should be a redflag to a woman but at least in my experience it often seems like a woman falls for that.

genericname85 · Answer

well i like to see it like this. there's always the fooler and the fooled. if people try to fool you, that's them being bad. you can't do anything about that really. but you can work at not being fooled so easily. trust is not a virtue. it is a calculated risk. you can work at figuring out who you can trust and who you can't trust.

so like to answer to your question a bit more directly i think women often have that thing where they intentionally go for a "bad boy" or a guy with obvious problematic behavior where a guy shows massive red flags with the expectation that he will change just for her, which then makes her feel special and which is a romantic idea in her head. that of course never works, cause people generally don't change that much. and if it fails, which it's bound to, then it's her fault in my opinion.

but then there's guys who play the sweetheart (intentionally or unintentionally) just fucking their partner over without giving off any red flags. in these cases, it's not her fault in my opinion.

Aimer07 · Answer

No. It's not about bad boys, First most western boys have lost their touch with their masculine self so obviously will cry and bitch about anything.

Don't go to the most attention seeking man because those are not men. Real men don't care about attention and usually focus on themselves more and have no care about how much attention they get.

it's very hard to answer because bad boy? What does it even mean.

Men are biologically and psychologically designed to survive, protect and provide. I don't believe those qualities are bad especially in the 80s men were always like this who even gave up their lives for wife and children.

But today feminists gave rise to a new type of men. Many men who has been tamed to act in a way that is not masculine because apparently it's toxic or bad? Society won't accept anymore a traditional man who wants a wife to respect him in exchange for providing and protecting them.

Why? Because now women are competing with men. A man works his entire life dreaming one day to have a wife that will have his children and respect his house rules and love him and the man in exchange will give even his life for his wife and children. Now If a woman has money she feels she doesn't need a man or listen to him anymore and does whatever she wants.

Morality has fallen to an incredible level.

How would a man feel anymore his duty to give up his life anymore for his wife and children? When all of it is simply gone. No man wants to die for any of the women today.

The only left are in Eastern Europe who still respect the holiest things in their culture like Jesus/God and are still traditional and has been this way for as long humanity existed. You can advance as a civilization without destroying the natural roles of a man and woman. If you are a believer in God. God would also be sad of what has it become today. Women pretending boys and men forcing to be submissive. It's not natural.

petitedollbabee · Answer

Sometimes, although yes it’s their fault if they keep going back to the same person that’s treating them poorly. My ex-best friend from my childhood got into a relationship with a low life slob and he did nothing but disrespect her, force her to have sex/guilt trip her into doing what he wanted, and he’d get her wasted at parties so that she’s too drunk to care about him pulling her shirt off and showing all his friends her body. It was absolutely heart breaking to see what he was doing to her. She wouldn’t listen to anyone when we’d tell her to LEAVE HIM. She’s still with him now and it’s been 5 years. I don’t talk to her anymore because it hurts too much to witness the abuse.

BeeNee · Answer

There are a lot of patterns in a persons dating history, but I think some women might date the bad boy, just like men can date a bad girl, and realize just how horrible they are, and they grow from these experiences and start to recognize the warning signs moving forward. But then you have the alternative, in that you have ones that continue to follow the bad pattern of dating men or women that hurt them and they never seem to ever learn and they keep going back for more and seem confused why things never seem to work out for them.

HighValue · Answer

Repetitive similar choices IS the person's own fault. One choice that doesn't work out and then they don't choose the same kind of person again is not their fault.

For example, if she chooses a guy she met at a party or bar and ends up getting beaten, that isn't her fault, but if she goes back and chooses another guy from a bar or party and gets beaten by him too, that is partially her fault.

If she tries to have a relationship with someone that has a past of casual sex and ends up getting cheated on that isn't her fault, (though it does show that she is rather dumb making an obvious mistake like that), but if she then chooses another guy with a history of casual sex and gets cheated on again, that is her fault.

That is where the phrase, "screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me" comes from. If someone repeatedly makes the same mistake, it IS their fault, because they should have learned from experience.

Understand?

DenizLikesTennis · Answer

I'd agree with coachTanthony. It is your own responsibility as nobody is telling you to date this or that guy. You can do whatever you feel like. Life is yours. Don't seek for validation. the thing is... when you date those like Repeatedly... then you shall NEVER EVER generalize and label every man as "all are the same".

I am saying this because your mental health can be negatively affected.

By the way... it has got to do with one's own personality, issues, insecurities, preferences and especially their Self-Esteem. There aren't many of them

glennos89 · Answer

In general it's very obvious to see and understand from a guys perspective that a lot of woman are attracted for the badboy type of guys.

The reason for this is because of 2 reasons...

1: Woman like dominant guys but dominance comes with a big ego personality often

2: Woman want to help, care and love pretty much everyone that is in need of help but they often forget during that process to think avout themselves. Most woman have a big heart and are the exact opposit of the ego centric man in terms of personality.

Ofcourse there are also woman that don't fit these criteria but I would say that 70-80% of woman don't understand how selfish men can be sometimes because they have so much compassion that most men aren't able to comprehent

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Not always, but usually it is the woman's fault; yes. The problem is that women will blatantly walk into this stuff. If you have every warning sign in the world, including (but not limited to) the men expressly telling you what's up, and you CONTINUE to date them hoping that they'll change; what do you even want people to say?

You knew what would happen.

I'm certainly not a posterchild for great romantic choices, but I recognize that when a scorpion tells me that she'll sting me; it's not her fault if I choose not to believe her.

LazerBean · Answer

Always? No. Most of the time? Absolutely. When you associate with low quality people, why would you expect anything other than low quality treatment?

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

It's her fault for staying in a bad relationship but not for 'finding out' he lied, cheated, is abusive etc.

They say you should be with someone for a year so you CAN see all their colors. I think we've all dated someone super normal, and then they faced some difficulty and shit totally hit the fan.

Missgingles · Answer

I've had a female friend who went back to her ex cause he just came out of prison. And that was enough for me to not be her friend anymore..

Sometimes it's 100% the womans fault. But its on them. If someone wanna date a rapist dont be crying when you get raped and pissed on either:) it goes both ways. These type of women will sleep with someone elses boyfriend and then cry when he cheats on her too.🤣..

Anonymous · Answer

I put other, but in truth yes. Yes it is her fault. But not for the reasons you may think.

If I was to describe my history with women I'd say, "a lot of great and powerful lessons learnt and I thank God for each and every one of them. Each lesson has adorned me, I take ownership of the mistakes that were made, whether from my own hands or from my poor choices in women due to the kid and helpful nature of my heart "

The reason I truly vote yes to this question, is because of how far too many women I speak to, frame their history with men. They victimise themselves and blame the other... As though it doesn't take two too tango...

It is THAT EXACT mindset that is to blame and I suspect, the root of the myriad of failed relationships and bitter demeanor that really is destroying then Spiritually.

Some people are still searching for this truth here ~Bob Marley

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

I think these types of questions infantasizes women... Granted, women stop maturing the moment they begin receiving attention from men (appx 12/13), but this doesn't give them an out from their choices. Women choose who to deal with, and while they may be drawn to shows of strength/ dominance they truly have to be masters of deluding themselves to justify getting hurt again and again.

Fa1con · Answer

Some people (male or female) get what they deserve when they chase after people with obvious red flags (male or female). Other times people hide their flaws well or develop new vices later in life. Never blame yourself for the behavior of others though. You can only control how you respond to them.

Anonymous · Answer

There's a problem of these type of questions.

Everytime everyone assumes that men are either good and bad and women are only good. So they have to choose between a good/bad guy and have to face the consequences of their choice.

A large section of women are bad as those bad men. Women aren't victims of men. Many women will not date a good guy cause they are boring or not attactive by their standards. That's how it works. Attractive people gets picked up even though they are bad cause, biology...

Is it really (/always) women's fault when they have bad experience with some men?

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