When YOU say someone isn't your 'type' do you typically mean their looks more or their personality more often?

Question

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

If we're being honest, both! It really depends on said person.

Let's say hypothetically some guy actually liked me (I know, I made a joke... just go with it!) He has a great personality, we have a lot in common...

But he's out of shape. He hates exercise and is obese. I'm a gymrat.
Unless he's willing to change his lifestyle, which no, I wouldn't ask of anyone, then he's NOT my type. I'd see him as a friend, but that's it.

Inversely, he could be a gymrat, but can't hold a conversation to save his life. Or we don't anything in common... he's just "attractive." Nope, not my type.

In other words, if I'm not feeling it, you're not my type.

melanieeeB · Accepted Answer

Well mostly it's the looks, the vibe and the aura they give out. Not feeling any chemistry at all too, cause mostly I didn't have much of a conversation with someone that I turn down immediately

ManOnFire · Answer

It is more often about personality for me, even if the woman does look great. I struggle to vibe with a woman who just doesn't have that personality I'm looking for in a partner.

JustAnj · Answer

I put both from my overall past rule and also my experience, though I actually do not base this off a type since I do not have a type.

Attraction for me is not body image but draw how much I crave your essences. The "Thiers something about you."

Chemistry is relation like how well we dance together metaphorically.

Personality is values, beliefs, growth and if they align or possibly can be compermised if different to fit and be equally complimentary towards a long life together.

The thing I actually look for is "connection" this is the most important thing of all, this will help me avoid breaking a heart, helps me admire a man for who he is and accept him as we both grow together. Without connection the relationship is not equally balanced.

When I first had relationships I was excited to find my guy the one. This led the idea that maybe it could be any guy so I followed generic rules.

Rules: If you feel attracted, like his personality, have chemistry all three or just one give the guy a chance.

Am I attracted to him... yes but I don't feel the chemistry, not that into his personality... relationship ended in a month. Next am I into his personality yes, also have chemistry... but I'm not attracted to him, ended in 2 weeks.

Then do I have chemistry with him yes, and I am attracted, and love his personality, yes... still, though I loved him I was not in love and did not have that connection the thing I was missing from all relationships.

I kinda fell apart because I hurt some great guys who wanted to be my everything, it sucked so bad.

I decided not to date for years, I felt connections with some guys but they were not good people and also were not interested. I questioned myself a lot. Some of the guys I felt that connection with eventually wanted to try after getting to know me but I felt like my feelings were no longer in their boat so I told them sorry I don't feel like that anymore.

NOTE: This part is more of a story about when I met my husband and the relation to this subject. You don't have to read it since the above sums up most of my opinion. Carrying on. 🤪

As time went by I met a guy who I never thought I'd feel for especially cause he was a guy my friends tend to like. It irrated me that he like me even though secretly I did too.

Second Rule: Friend ship rule: Never date a guy your friend likes.

Well he hung out occasionally with our friends group, each girl I new secretly had a crush on him. He was mysterious, I was annoyed. lol He was also a guy who never minded going out with girls he thought were cute and friendly so the girls would tell me he's likes everyone, a man whore for dates essentially and a bit of a perv.

That instantly made me curious but also felt like we wouldn't match up well plus don't want to get with a guy that just thinks I'm cute that's it.

One of my friends would ask me to ask him out for her... needless to say I was very reluctant... I knew he liked me... that day I found out how much.

It was like a freaking horror scene the friend that wanted to date him had crushes on other guys in the past that asked me out. Now another freaking slap in the face, I tried whispering to the guy and he was all smiles when he turned around and saw it was me. 🥴😩 I ask him if he is single looks at me even more with a wider smile and then See's my friend behind me. Flirts "Depends on who's asking." ... I tell him about my friend and instantly his smile turns to a apologetic face.

"Oh... I am actually going out with this other girl. Hasn't been confirmed (Looking at me for reassurance of unless I was interested) but I think we are gonna be soon."

Let's just say my friend was pissed and saw obviously that another one of her crushes was into me. So after time passed my bestie had told me she was sexting him and that it was funny... I was like really. I asked her if she liked him she told me she just liked the attention. (I now believe she was lying)

Next thing you know a month goes by he hits me up by text. I'm again annoyed, you were sexting my bestie not that long ago you better not play with me boy!

Well he didn't, he actually was really cool, nice, had manners and was sweet.

He told me how he really would like to get to know me.
Next thing you know we hit it off, he asked to see me alone, I didn't want to lead him on but I was also conflicted with feelings. So I went with the intention to tell him no I am not interested.

I went he didn't ask me out but he did something so intensily hot and mature. He told me how he felt about me and told me that he wanted to just express himself because he couldn't hold back anymore.

I told him that I was flattered and told him thank you for being honest and simply being open with me without asking me out. This intensified my feelings. Respect is huge for me.

After awhile of just being friends and a little flirting, I asked him if I could see him. He took off from his friends Birthday hangout, his friend was super excited for him, we met up and I told him I wanted to try something.

He looked bewildered. Next thing you know I quickly reached for his lips and kissed him intensely without a doubt I knew he was the one. I fell. He was really dizzy after the kiss and was blown we both nearly fell.

He had all of it. I was attracted to him, we had chemistry, I loved his personality, and most importantly there was this unexplainable connection inside us for each other I will never understand or can explain. It was something I never felt before.

With ups and downs and life's crazy turns. We are married 6 years and been together almost 13 years. :)

So yeah lol

Aerolyn · Answer

I've had situation where it was one of the other.

I had a people like me that I found physically attractive be into me, but I would compare my personality and intrests to theirs and just see us never working out if we were to become a thing so I never go down that road with them.

Then in the past I would have someone into me that would be into what I'm into and their personality would seem complimentary to mines, but I know I just flat out don't mind myself physically attractive to them really.

user1516 · Answer

It’s not something to take personally.
But it mostly has to do with the physical attraction and chemistry, if there’s ZERO chemistry between you and a person regardless if they’re attractive to you or not then there could be no sort of an initiation for a potential relationship.

Physically someone could be attractive to you.. right, but even if they’re attractive they’re still not your type, why? Because they probably don’t have something you’re looking for, could be their sense of style, the way they introduce themselves, how they treat others, etc.

Chemistry,
Maybe you thought they were your type but once you actually starting to get to know them you learned that there was no sign of chemistry between you two…you can decide if they’re your type or not.

Topaz1979 · Answer

For me it's attraction, not that I'm saying I'm into men who are only a 10 out of 10 or a 8/9 out of 10, no but I mean attraction I have my own unique taste and I think every woman probably has their own unique taste in men so its that and another thing compatibility if I'm not compatible with a guy then they are not my type, because then there would be no chemistry, no desire, no passion, no mental stimulation that sounds miserable.

DaisyM23 · Answer

it's usually based on looks for me but it depends on how well I know them too, if that makes sense? so if it was a stranger, i would go solely on looks for type, but if i knew someone and their personality then it would be based on both

duttyjamagyal · Answer

I'm sorry but I just got a message from you about the kids and the kids even realize that 😜 was a good 👍 and I was going through the second 🥈 and the only way to go to bed room and the only thing I have to do is it about to the gym and I don't think that will be there to help you out of the house 🏠🏡🏠🏠 and the baby 🐥 and then I guess I'm just getting to be a little girl but I think it's okay 🆗🆗 I guess I would have been there is it but it doesn't have to be it was a good day for me but I think I would have to be in there and I was like 15 and I have to go to the hospital and then go home but I think I can do whatever they want but they were a little girl and she just got back from her baby in her house but she needs to stop 🚏 her and running 💨 💨 💨 and she will come and pick ⛏️ up and down

BlueScorpio · Answer

I think it's mostly looks first then personality. You can't say someone isn't your type cause how would you know without talking to them first? They very well could be but because you're not physically attracted to them, you won't bother to find out.

Amy10223 · Answer

Both. The looks normally carries onto their personality. For example, someone with tatoos all over their body is usually a person who I don't think I'll get along with. I'm a certain "type" and I look for those with my ideals, moral beliefs, and so on.

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

Usually when I say someone is my type, it depends on the context. If I turn him down for a date, it is usually just a looks deal, but there are some gorgeous guys who I’ve said no to because I knew what they were like personality-wise, and I just didn’t like their personality. But if I’m being honest with myself here, it’s usually most often the looks. But I’m still young, my frontal lobe isn’t fully “cooked” yet! (As my mom says.) so I guess I’ll change when I hit 25.

SClassWizzard · Answer

It can be looks-wise, or personality-wise. or both.

Often times with me its always personality-wise.

Cos while your appearance is my type, if I notice your personality is shit, like ghetto-ish or whatever, then I decline by default.

Or, you personality is on par with mine, but appearance-wise not my type, then I probably won't engage either but it depends.

Greedier · Answer

I don't really have a type lol, but I know what's not. So, I'll choose the 'both' option regardless.

Jenny-Marie · Answer

I think that personality and looks all come in to it. In a work situation it is possible to get friendly purely on personality, looks are less important. In a social situation, it could be looks that initially attract attention. On other occasions it could easily be a combination, so for me there is no absolute answer.

shesrad · Answer

if your personality is horrible just you cannot help that you could be some joe shmo with a 6 pack it your personality is sh*t then there's nothing left to talk about, for me personality is everything

Blackcosmo · Answer

I think the personality more. I have met people who are really nice but I just don't "click" with them. It's hard to even be friends.

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

I mean their personality way more often, that's what I focus on more. I rather be with a ugly person than with a jerk lol.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

It could be personality too. Either way. Right now I'm a dating a guy who's very good looking, like verrrry good looking, but I feel no attraction because his personality is not my type (he doesn't have one lol).

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Answer

Well I don't have like one set type physically. I have certain things I like about people. But if I say someone is not my type its usually based off personality.

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

Usually it's the looks but it can be a personality as well. I prefer a little more "old school" type of a guy. My friend calls them 90s fuckbois. I don't know why :D

Vanidal · Answer

Translate to this for me: "You're not the kind of person I'm excited to spend my life with."

Biancam13 · Answer

Looks and just general attraction are my "type". Personality comes only after I am attracted to them initially.

menina · Answer

When I say something like that, I usually mean their looks. There are certain types of guys that I'm not attracted to it.

IveGotNoName · Answer

Both, but mostly personality. If they're not my "type" looks wise, and they're my type personality wise, I would be open to it, however, the other way around I would not.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

When I say it I think of the looks. But of course when the personality doesn't match well with mine, of course that Type of guy isn't going to be my type either. So in reality it's both.

Red-Blaze · Answer

Its completely on there personallity Looks are a pick up line, and it will fade, its the personality that really matters in the end

FilmGuy93 · Answer

It's honestly a personality thing for me. I can find women of almost any variety appealing, but she's gotta have the right personality.

goaded · Answer

Both, but often inferring their personality from the way they look. It's academic at this point in my life, though.

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

Looks, mostly. Some women are so insufferable that it doesn't matter what they look like, but when I say someone isn't my type, I mean I wouldn't fuck them with your dick. Romantic intentions are referred to differently.

Guardian45 · Answer

Typically, a woman's appearance, like her eyes, a smile or her body, will get my attention, but to HOLD my attention and "pull me to her", that comes from her PERSONALITY, especially her intelligence and humor!

faithgrace4u · Answer

okay so if someones not my type i don't date there personaility or i friend zoned you

SeriouslyFunny00 · Answer

Similar to attraction vs. chemistry, it's actually both.

Fireguy17 · Answer

personality. Looks change and fade over time, it happens, but a person's personality pretty much stays the same.

Ninania · Answer

Both. Physical and emotional attraction are two separate things. Neither can stand alone.

fonduegirl · Answer

Not really. A lot of people that are attractive, I later found had trashy personalities.

YollyM · Answer

For me it's both or the latter, actually it depends on the person in question.

snackthatsmilesback · Answer

Usually their appearance. If its personality then I say we wouldn't get along or something.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Actually it's more often about their personality

SAMI_DABBAB · Answer

İ honestly use it just to avoid calling someone trouble or toxic

Pinay_ako · Answer

Overall them…

AndrésC64 · Answer

It could be both. But usually, when I say "my type", I'm talking about looks.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Probably both. Maybe. I guess it just depends on the person

Zolly99999 · Answer

It could be both depending on the person or either or

Sillyboi98 · Answer

There is a specific look and personality I got for

Cherry234 · Answer

I usually mean that person's looks.

purplepoppy · Answer

It could be either or both

Jltakk · Answer

I think deep down, people mean the physical attraction factors when they say this.

Marshymallow · Answer

Both appearance and personality.

PeteBy · Answer

Both. Personality more than looks though.

RavVid · Answer

It could be their character also.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I usually mean their personality more

LilyByte · Answer

Usually both

Staximus · Answer

I'm more picky about a woman's personality

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

Their looks

Dinklex3 · Answer

Both.

whistlingwh0res · Answer

Looks only

chocomilk99 · Answer

Both

MysticDevice · Answer

Personality mostly

richgentlem4n · Answer

both.

When YOU say someone isn't your 'type' do you typically mean their looks more or their personality more often?

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