Should I leave her alone?

[Anonymous]

Girl [23] found out I liked her through somebody and that I wanted to ask her to talk. Since this moment she avoids eye contact and gets fidgety and nervous when she sees me around that it’s so obvious, she’ll see me and randomly start talking to people around her. Months ago we use to stare at each other a lot. She’ll now look my direction but pass me. was only going to pursue cause we use to lock eyes for 5 secs many times and it definitely got my attention and she grew on me a lot. She seemed very confident and clear as I would have to be the one to look away at times.

I don't know if this matters, but she’s never really dated anybody. She’s the type to look for the “right” guy and hasn’t had any intimate moment/ with anybody so far. I heard she’s only willing to date people she knows already well. She’s a “good” girl from what people say and her family is involved in her life and her mother is very involved. Somebody that knows her said she can be dominant and that she’s looking for a confident men, in a way to dominate the relationship? LOL she might be old fashion. She’s 23 and seems like she might be picky or scared or just doesn’t like me or thought she liked me until now? I’m so confused, and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.

[MoniqueTLC]

You can show your assertiveness by letting her know you'd like to get to know her. If she's looking for a confident guy what better way to show her this by initiating a conversation!

Seems like she might just be nervous, and not sure how to handle the situation. I'd say go for it, you have nothing to lose. If she only dates guys she knows really well, well, guess you both need to get chatting :)

[Asker]

Would you say her being nervous and acting different when I’m around doesn’t always mean that’s a bad thing?

[MoniqueTLC]

Not at all. When we're 'nervous' our bodies release adrenaline and cortisol. This causes the 'flight or fight' response in us which is why some people remove themselves/or avoid a situation and others don't.
Perhaps she has a lack of self-esteem, this might cause her to feel as though she's not good enough which would cause her to 'avoid' you.

[Asker]

Sorry to make this long but these are the last questions.

She found out through a class mate that I was interested and that I wanted to talk to her back months ago. Due to break here in California, she went away for the summer. She mentioned not coming back for a few months due to break, but she also said when she was going to be back which is now. Saw her once and that how she acted.

If she wasn’t interested at all she could of just said it to that person or don’t even mention when they were coming back? Or is it cause some girls don’t like confrontation?

[MoniqueTLC]

If she was 100% closed off and uninterested, she probably would have mentioned it to that person. You are right, some girls don't like confrontation, or feel bad saying no to someone, so it's difficult for me to know exactly what/how she may be thinking.
I do think. for you, from how you've described what she likes, that if you feel comfortable, to ask her out whether it's a coffee or a walk to get to know her.
If she says no, it will suck, but you would have showed assertiveness and confidence, and that what girls like.
Let me know!

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice. I will take this risk, I don't know she might be waiting and if she’s more old fashion she might not make a move. We’ll see I guess lol

[MoniqueTLC]

Let us know how it goes :)

[Asker]

LOL. I just saw her today for the first time since I posted this. I noticed she would stare when I walked by, so were her friends. I’ll walk by and she’ll look back the another friend would look too. No chance to talk cause too many of her friends were around, but next time I’ll go test the waters

[Guy13]

Sounds like she is not interested in pursuing an intimate relationship outside of work.