Is ghosting more common now than 10+ years ago?

[Anonymous]

I define ghosting is intentionally not responding to someone who you had romantic engagement with earlier (from simple conversation all the way to a in person dating and sex)

People at the bare minimum of age 25 (more like 30) should be able to answer this better. They can remember times ago

My theory is digitization has made all of this much worse. People can ghost because they can quickly fall back on social media to get their sugar high attention needs met. 20+ years ago that wasn’t a possibility. 10+ years ago things starting sadly shifting.

Ghosting is more common now than I can recall

It’s about the same.

Ghosting is less common now than 10+ years ago.

[Anonymous]

It's probably because with online dating people have a lot more options, and are talking to a lot more people. The more people ghost, the more people start talking to loads of people and playing more of a numbers game also.

Online dating apps weren't as popular in the past, they were seen by many as something only losers use, and many people were embarrassed to admit to using them. Now it's just normal, you're more of a weirdo today if you're not on every social media site/dating app.

[Asker]

Funny I greatly limited my social media use in the last 2 years. I only post once every couple months. I completely shut down my old FB account.

I would of thought this was “real independent man” way to handle things. Yet I feel weird about it.

[CloudMassacre]

It’s more common now because more people exist and more people use texting to communicate

[Asker]

And digital technology can let me indulge in cowardice and self destruction.

This started as a female thing and now I hear of more guys doing this to women.

Why try putting your effort into someone when you have this risk? It’s driving men and women further apart.

[Asker]

*let them lol

[Anonymous]

It wasn't really happening before because we didn't have technology. We would meet people within social circles like through mutual friends, college, school, work, hobbies, etc. etc. so we were bound to see them again eventually. But breaking up over phone (like home phone haha) was common though.

[Lynn7dsd]

yeah, especially with technology, it makes people feel more anonymous, and feel like this is acceptable behavior (its not though) did you know its often men and women with dark triad personalities that ghost people? Meaning narcissists and psychopaths- its disrespectful but happens to everyone

[77five]

Yes its more common because people have more options, choices and apps to choose from. I've never spoken to a guy that wasn't already talking to at least 10 other girls at the same time. They always acted shocked when I said they were the only one I was talking to. Even more shocked when I say I dont get many messaged or interest from men.

[josephinelcajon]

And a sign of our ever growing more and more disrespectful society

[IveGotNoName]

People probably go on a lot more dates with people they don't really know nowadays, which of course leads to more ghosting.

[Asker]

I see your point but this isn’t always for first date scenarios. About 5 years ago my ex ghosted me after dating for 9 months after a minor argument. She blocked me on all social media and blocked my number.

We are on the rocks a bit and I knew things weren’t going to last forever. I was far from perfect but I didn’t do anything fundamentally wrong (cheating, abuse, etc)

But she handled it the most disrespectful and cowardly selfish way possible. I think society encourages this “follow your heart even if you’re a pos” crap more.

[IveGotNoName]

I don't know it also depends on the country tbh

[ZXCwWRQWz]

You run into more people now who need to be ghosted.

[msc545]

Ghosting is a dominant strategy to resolve many conflicts and communicate rejection.

[Asker]

“Strategy”?

[msc545]

Yes - it is a way to deliver, passively, a specific message. It is always premeditated and deliberate.

[Asker]

And it’s cowardly. However modern digital technology has enabled more and more of this.

I have only deliberately ghosted one girl I briefly dated in my entire life. I had a very good reason to do it. But in retrospect I could of given her 30 seconds of my time to respond to her text messages. Tell her where I stood. Every other women I rejected I gave them a brief explanation and wished them luck.

But if you count the times women have ghosted me (ranging from a first date to 9 f*cking months of dating) I’ve been ghosted at least 10 f*cking times in my life.

However this was rare 15 to 20 years ago. Girls might of given me bitchy or wishy washing excuses but they didn’t ghost like they do now.

And now f*cking guys are doing this to women. Just complete dysfunction all the way around.

[nickaboy]

Thank social media