2 mo

My office wants to arrange monthly bar nights. My boyfriend doesn't want me to go to bars. How do I approach this?

Anonymous

I (26) have been with my boyfriend (28) for a year and a half. He recently told me "no more bars". I didn't think too much of it as we're both introverts and don't do a lot of super social outings. Our days out consist of kayaking and fishing, walking around a town/mall, skiing/snowboarding, dinner and an arcade, etc. I've been to a bar once since dating him for karaoke – with him there. At the time, I asked about "work outings" as I know even in small towns, coworkers go out for drinks every once in a while. He was even against that, and said maybe I could go if he came along, but I know he wouldn't want to. He said he wouldn't even consider going to work outings at all, but he doesn't like his job one bit.

I started a new job on a film this month in a big city about an hour away from him. The office space hosts several projects and networking is a huge part of the filmmaking industry. Tonight, an officemate working on a different project told me he was arranging for the whole office to get drinks once a month. The idea is that we work in the same field on similar projects, and we share a space, so it would be a good idea to mingle once in a while.

Going once a month to meet professionals in my field (my dream field, by the way) would be awesome as I would get advice and learn things about the industry I would otherwise not know about. I would not overdo it, and probably would drink virgin cocktails so I could safely get home. However, regardless of the occasion, he doesn't want me to go to bars at all. He was even fishy about me going with him or friends. I feel like there is something I am missing when it comes to this. Does anyone have any idea how to approach this? How do I bring this up and sort out his fears/worries when it comes to me and bars? Any idea on why he wants me to never enter a bar again, including work outings?

My office wants to arrange monthly bar nights. My boyfriend doesn't want me to go to bars. How do I approach this?
15 Opinion