I always wanted girlfriends. My first one was 14 when I was 16. I wanted exclusive, committed relationships in which we were deeply infatuated and couldn't get enough of each other, as opposed to hook ups or conquests. Yes, I wanted to be in love, but I was still a kid who didn't know what love was. Looking back, I was still self-centered.
Infatuation is the feeling that people associate with love. It's the greatest feeling in the world, but it's not the same as love.
Infatuation is like a blazing bonfire that can spark instantly. Things like crushes, love at first sight, puppy love, and lust are infatuation.
True love is more like a warm fireplace in a cozy home that makes you feel warm, safe, secure and content.
Love is something that develops over time, once you get to know your partner's genuine moods, behaviors, habits, attitudes, values, and sexuality. Love is also based on complete trust. In infatuation, 100% trust hasn't had time to develop.
So, I loved infatuation with a beautiful woman whom I really liked. I not only enjoyed the sex, but also being with them, hanging out, going places and doing things with them as best friends. Not just friends with benefits.
That being said, I had no wish to get married and settle down. I didn't want the responsibility of a family. I didn't even think about finding a life partner to settle down with until I was in my mid-30s. I had been too happy being free to explore the world, gain experience (not just sexually), and enjoy life.
I finally found a perfect match when I was 40. My future wife was 2.5 years younger. We got married two years after we met.
We had both had full lives before we met and were ready to start a new chapter. We had been in relationships but never married. For both of us, marriage was a once in a lifetime thing; a solemn vow; the ultimate commitment.
She taught me the meaning of abiding love. We've been happily married now for 26 years. We have built a great life together and have had so much fun. We are totally committed to keeping our marriage healthy and happy because there is no trading it in for a new model.
So, from my personal point of view, lots of men and women, desperately want to experience love. And it happens all the time. It's built into us. But there are those who rush into it and those who are more cautious about total commitment. Of course, there are also those who don't know what true love is or deny that such a thing exists.
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Of course we do! Despite the stereotype of the skirt chasing thoughtless ogre of a man who only cares about himself, ironically most men are actually decent. If you ask the average guy, they would tell you all they want from their loved one is commitment, honesty, empathy and no drama.. I can honestly tell you as somebody who’s been looking for love for decades and decades, i’ve actually been more saddened by the behavior of the younger generation of women and their attitude towards marriage. 80% of all divorces are being filed by women. I’m sure there’s a lot behind those statistics, but ……
Falling in love is the fun part. Staying in love and choosing love is the hard part. It is a huge commitment. Love is actually a choice. Not just a feeling. When people realize this they may have more success and not jump into things as quickly. Maybe better prepare.
i don't think so from my experience so far they are fucking users
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No, I learned long ago falling in love is a poor analogy. Both people in a relationship work hard to foster love. One falls in love as easily as they fall out of it. It takes no effort. And the analogy misrepresents the hard work and effort it takes to keep love alive.
What I want is something eternal and I know it's unrealistic, by today's standards, so I don't chase it. If it comes fine, if not I'm content as I am, relationship wise.
Hopefully my long winded response was sufficient.I thought that was more of a problem for women because at least disciplined guys like to devote themselves to a mission. I feel like most women just dabble with missions like Goldilocks. If a man makes a woman and his family his mission, he will die fighting to protect them.
Hell yeah that feeling of being with one person who is going to be able to grow and really know that person through an actual long term relationship and learn something new all the time about that person and I do like to pay attention to the way my partner at the time reacts to my touch and words and make sure that she is satisfied she knows she is love with someone who genuinely is in love with her. I mean who doesn't want that
I would be but there is no one who is faithful
In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you could comment on my question.
More than anything else in the world.
I got my dream job and dream career. Enough money to afford a nice condo or house.
What's the point of any of it if I can't share it with someone?
I want something more meaningful in life. Raising kids and a family. Having someone to care about every day. That sounds amazing.
I love love it's one of the most beautiful things in the world and when you can find it and it's real you got to have it when you can experience something beautiful like that it just teaches you so many different things
Yes they do.
I don't know if guys "want" to fall in love more than women, but over the years I've become completely convinced that men fall in love much more easily than women do.
When guys love, they love with their entire soul. Which is why they tolerate so much and stick through the worsts of situations.
Women love with their head. They only love as long as it is convenient for them. Which is why divorce is initiated almost 85% by women, regardless of children or years or anything else.
Most guys do when they’re younger. If they get through their 20’s and are either still single or divorced they tend to re-evaluate their priorities. At least that’s been the common theme in my friend circles.
It is not controlled. But I would access the situation I am in if I ever find myself having fallen in love with someone. And then take actions appropriately.
Yes @malwins, everyone wants to find true love and not be wasting other people's time or breaking hearts.
I've been in love... and I've been in charge. They're not the same thing and I found that for me, it's best to be a good leader.
Yeah, if I ever find a woman who cares as much as I do. Most women from Southern California are too wishy washy or insincere, don't even know what the fuck they want besides looks, money, and bullshit cool guy status.
They would never turn down a perfect match.
I know, I've always heard that that is the last thing guys wanted to happen to them
Yes I want to but everytime I genuinely like someone I’m getting rejected. So yeah I gave up. I’m empty inside. 😭 Now I only want to react my bodily pleasures. Don’t want to put my emotions and feelings in risk.
No, It's not something I'd actually want. The idea sounds nice though.
Yes, but only with an actual good girl that would be compatible for long term.
Yes that would be the perfect scenario for me, especially if it´s mutual.
Sure, but women don't want those kinds of guys. They'd rather ride the cock carrousel.
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