Why Does my Boyfriend's Mom Hate Me So Much?

[IrasWorld]

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 9 months now and from the very beginning his mother has been extremely rude or just uncivil to me. I’ve tried very hard to be kind to her and not let it bother me, but recently she just took it too far. She approached my boyfriend and I after school and began screaming and cussing me out saying how I had spread rumors that her daughter was a slut (which I had not, I have been nothing but kind to his sister even trying to get her to hang out with us so I could get to know her better). I was shocked to see her acting that way towards me in such a public place. She accused me of talking about her family’s business and saying that her daughter let men fondle her (again all untrue). When I was silent she hatefully asked if I was even able to speak to which I calmly responded that “I would not talk to someone who was just going to be rude to me.” I was so baffled I really had no other words. This made her extremely angry and once I found an excuse to leave I did. Other people were in the parking lot and told her she needed to take the discussion somewhere else. Overall I thought she was extremely inappropriate. Later that night she told my boyfriend he is not allowed to see or even talk to me anymore. I am heartbroken by this. I have tried so very hard to get along with her and the rest of the family. It doesn’t help that she is threatening to send him to live with a family member and take away his phone (which he’s 18 so I don’t really see how she can do that). I’m just devastated this all has happened, but I don’t know what to do. Why does she hate me so much and what should I do?

[HollyK21]

Unless I missed it then no where did I read that your boyfriend stood up for you. If that’s the case then maybe this is for the better. I don’t know exactly what his moms problem is, whether she’s spiteful towards her son and doesn’t like seeing him happy or just doesn’t want him to have a girlfriend right now in general. But whatever the case may be, when she’s disrespecting and cussing you out, it would be nice if your boyfriend stepped in and had your back. If he’s too much of a mama’s boy or just won’t stand up to her now then he never will, and having to silently deal with such a mean woman would not be a future I’d look forward to if I were you.

[IrasWorld]

Honestly that was something I've been very frustrated about. He didn't stand up for me in the moment at all, but apparently did at home. I'm quite upset that he didn't have the courage to stand up to her, especially since she's quite cruel to him as well.

[sage2021]

Maybe she lied about all of that because she is jealous of you and she feels like you are taking her son away from her. Sometimes this happens when a mother has a son. At the age the two of you are, she is learning that her son is not her baby anymore. Are you his first girlfriend she has had to deal with?
Sometimes people are so jealous when they see a couple is happy together and she is jealous because she doesn't have the same thing, so they'll try their hardest to break the two of you up.
To put it mildly, she is losing her son and she obviously isn't taking it very well.
I really hope he us sticking up for you when she pulls her hissy fits at you.

I am appalled that she yelled at you in public. You need to set her straight on that. She needs to know if she has something to say to you, she needs to say it in private.
I hope this helps you!
Stay sweet!
Sage 🌹

[IrasWorld]

He has had multiple girlfriends before me but weren't with any of them this long. I don't understand because she doesn't act like this towards any of her other children's partners.

[loveslongnails]

As Sage said below, the answer is rather simple: she's losing her little boy to another woman, and she can't deal with it. Her precious son's affections belong to you now, and mommy is no longer the focus of ALL his love. She's a jealous c*** who didn't prepare herself for the day when junior was going to grow up and leave, and love someone else.

This is a fairly common occurrence, I'm sad to say. Not that it will make you feel better, but it doesn't really matter that it's "you" on the receiving end of her wrath. It would be anyone in your place, so it's not because there's something wrong with YOU. There's something very wrong with HER.

[AviatorTom]

She's a mother who is afraid of losing her son to you, so she does whatever she can to stop that. There's not much you can do, other than talk to your boyfriend. But he may not be willing to upset his mother, and if that's the case, it's time for you to find another guy. Don't worry, you're young and have plenty of time to find the right guy for you.

[Guy13]

She’s got a gut feeling about you…

[20yearsolder]

He's a mama's boy, she doesn't want to see him with any other girl. You're better off. I'm guessing the whole time he just stood there and watched his mother scream. Never stuck up for you. She'll be doing the same shit when he's 26 years old.

[boggboss]

Clearly someone told her u was doing this for her to react in such a way I don't imagin she did that out of nowhere did u ask your boyfriend why she said that?

[IrasWorld]

Apparently his sister says she overheard me badmouthing her but I don't know why she would say that because I have never badmouthed her and the sister didn't even say anything to me about it, just his mom.

[boggboss]

Well now u know why I agree what she did was wrong but u know why she did it