My mom hates My boyfriend because we've had many problems as a couple (we're better now) and she's always throwing everything at my face?

[Anonymous]

My mom hates him because we had a lot of problems between us (nothing Bad) and now she's always throwing stuff at my face about it, talking about me to other people, saying that i'm an idiot (i'm 21 already by the way, he's been my only boyfriend) and that we have no future together because he grew up poor. He's on culinary school now and we've been together for 2 and a half years. What should i do? The situation is getting worse now because every week she says that I'm acting a certain way because of him, and everything that I do wrong is because of him. She's always trying to blame everything on my boyfriend and he doesn't even come to my house because she forbidden it. I'm always home and doing stuff around the house for her and I just see my boyfriend on the weekends and she seems to have a problem about it. I do not know what to do and it's making me so depressed. I have even considered to break up and it's so sad.

[SnowedIn]

If you really like this guy, then you have a choice to make. Mom or guy. Based on what you've written, if you like the guy, then it's time to move out. Either in with him or get your own place. Otherwise, you're constantly in the line of fire.

Here's the thing: if you break up with him because of mom -- she'll know. You will validate her believing that she can control your life. Think long and hard before you do that.

[Anonymous]

i was in a similar situation a few times. the last one her mom begrudgingly said thank you extremely reluctantly said thank you after i helped one of her daughters out several times. when you're in situations like that it's a no win situation you're never going to get their approval no matter how hard you try.

[MidnightOwl57]

Your mother shockingly over-protective. In my experience, the only way to fix this is by going on a strict no contact policy with for a long while. You're an adult, you can't live your life for her and she needs to get with the program or get gone. You do not need her permission or blessing to live your life.

[Anemone978]

This is why you don't complain about your boyfriend to your mother because they don't want bad people for their children... so they will hate the person unless your mother see's something change or good about him...

[Asker]

I completely regret trusting her with it, and I told her about it because we've always had a close relationship but since I'm with him things got rotten. I know that we've had problems, different personalities, backgrounds but we got through it and we're in a healthy place now and she doesn't seem to want to acknowledge that. My boyfriend does many things for me, he's on college still and doing good and even if i tell her, she won't believe me and will keep saying that I'm an idiot.

[Anemone978]

Yeah I understand how you feel my mom hates all the guys I like even the ones that are nice to me lol
So I would just recommend not mentioning him at all when you are around her..

[Asker]

I do not mention him but she even gets upset if she sees me answering his messages lol, I do everything she says, I can't even get a job because she wants me to be home all the time, she said to me that If I wanted a job I should get it at home and in my country there is none.

[Anonymous]

You know what they say, mom knows best (not)!

[Asker]

Lol m

[Ms_Facesitter]

What is that nothing bad?

[Iron_Man]

Talk to her

[Asker]

I have, and she keeps denying that she hasn't talked about me, that I'm an idiot, that I have to open my eyes. I have a small business and she keeps throwing on my face that she has helped me and I cannot stop dating my boyfriend for her. I'm an only child and I have always done everything right for her, even gotten a college degree and she keeps making me feel like I have done nothing for my life and that I'm going to be no one if I keep dating my boyfriend.

[Iron_Man]

Why does she not like your boyfriend so much?

[Asker]

Like I said, we had many problems before and I was stupid enough to tell her about it. My boyfriend was on a really bad place mentally back then and he's doing so much better now, she refuses to acknowledge that he's doing better, he's a better person and doing stuff to go on in life. She doesn't like him because she thinks he's the same person he was and I've tried my best to show it to her.

[Iron_Man]

Sounds tough. Try to work through it work it out.