Should an assertive man look for an assertive woman?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

[Anonymous]

All women are generally assertive, it's only when they meet an alpha male that they become submissive.

It's like my ex. She was had just turned 16 and I was 23 we had just broke up. She was kinda not fat but thick and she had those big puppy fat tits girls get in their teens. There used to be this weak nerdy guy that was friends with her but he was totally into her, they had started dating and i was dating this other college chick that i dumped her for. One night at a party after high school prom he made a butthurt comment about my friends and I picking up high school chick so I punched him in the stomach and he feel to the ground crying a buddy of mine pulled put his dick and pissed on his face. My ex came over shouting and screaming and hitting at me so to calm her down I grabbed hold of her, lifted up her dress revealing her little white thong and slapped her on her fat behind and that shut her up, she ran off embarrassed and her pussy new boyfriend followed.

Anyway as I was leaving in truck I saw my ex and her new boyfriend standing outside, my ex was looking so f*ckable in her prom, so I pulled up real quick and demanded she get her fat ass into my truck so we can go fuck. Surprisingly she did, I didn't think she would, she left her boyfriend just standing there in tears. So we drove down to the hotel room her boyfriend had booked for them to finally have sex and I tore that pussy right up, she was wetter than September. Completely pissed at me, she came multiple times still angry and the bed was soaked. We did it two more times middle of the night and morning. I'm not sure what happened with the other guy but she ended up marrying him. I f*cked her a few times when I was back in town when I had nothing else on the go. She's still in good shape though about to hit 30, she has kids and at least one of them must be mine. Still with the same simp, he must know I was fucking her when I was in town

[DaveJord]

Dude I would love to know myself. Because I am an assertive man, forthright, honest, geniue and out going.

Lots of women are intimated by that honestly. Because being open and honest about their feelings seems to scare the shit out of them, and when they meet a guy that does it they don't know how to deal with it.

But in my experience with assertive women, is that they can dish it out, but can't take it. When, they meet that honest, confident and equally assertive quality type guy... they don't appreciate in others as much as they do in themselves.

[LovingJo]

I believe you should both want and expect, what you communicate with one another.
Otherwise, you can hope for the best, but not always get the expectation!!

If you are both flexible in your positions, both sexually AND within your personalities, you will find that you might just be that bit more flexible than you once thought.
It's up to you, how long you leave it until you realise that that is the key.
Communication, is the key to everything!! 💯❤️

[dustybiker]

Fire and oil? It can work. I’ve also seen those relationships burn out in smoldering ruin. I’m not exactly a fan of opposites attract though. Passionate people need moderate people to match the excitement occasionally, but reels them in when needed. in my opinion

[OlderAndWiser]

Being "assertive" is not the same thing as being "dominant." Assertive means that I don't hesitate to ask for what I want; it doesn't mean that I don't also want to please my partner.

[Summeroflove]

I think so. I think that people need to be equally yoked.

On the second hand. Sometimes opposites attract. Maybe a woman who isn’t very assertive needs a man who is and that more complements her and helps her in life as well as helps her become more assertive too.

So really…. It just depends.

[Guy13]

All people, not just women, like assertive men as they present an aire of considerate confidence that is not afraid to accommodate and learn from another as he leads and individual or team.

An assertive man leads likably and jumps at the opportunity to credit another within the Team. Women, whether more submissive Asian or Feminist Western, all are drawn to Givers who build-up others. The assertive male will get all types of women. It’s how it is….

[NathanDavis]

a truly assertive man will find the kind of woman he needs and wants, without a shade of doubt...

and then it will be up to him as an individual and the assertive man he is, to decide for himself, regardless of what others think or say

an assertive man won't be doubting himself or second guessing "should I do this for me or should I not" if he did, then he would not be truly assertive

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I wholeheartedly agree with you.

[MendaciousMarxist]

There are many, many powerful, assertive, successful women out there. HOWEVER Women, especially young women, don't actually like assholes or "bad boys". It’s funny how women are generally expected to shut up and keep quiet. A man will do something and he’s been assertive but if it’s a woman she’s being a bitch. Most men don't even know what they want. Deep down men want women that are strong, assertive and are idealistically powerful. Their emotional side can surface yes, but it should be rare and not easily triggered.

Men and women can't do the same things, so this kind of power couple usually doesn't exist.

[Anonymous]

It depends what you mean by assertive. I'm going to take it to mean a more dominant personality. In general, there is only room for one dominant personality in a romantic relationship. Two dominant personalities will almost always lead to problems.

Whether they admit it or not, I think most women are attracted to confident, assertive, capable, dominant men. That is the masculine ideal. But many women seem to feel they deserve a man like that but then expect him to not be dominant in a relationship. That's unrealistic and unfair to the guy.

Both men and women should be self-aware and honest about who they are, and take the above considerations seriously. We should be realistic about what we expect from our partners given who THEY are.

[Datboi65]

THANK YOU. That's exactly what I've been saying.

Men get villifed for saying they want a more agreeable woman, but if both partners are disagreeable and dominant, then they would just fight endlessly.

[HighValue]

No. It will just lead to arguments. There should be one assertive partner and one that is more of a follower in a relationship, at least when it comes to THEIR relationship. Two followers would be bad too and they would lack the ability to stick with decisions, always second guessing themselves.

[Jamie05rhs]

I believe that both partners in a relationship should seek the good of their partner first. If you're both giving and not selfish, things will work out a whole lot more smoothly.

Assertiveness is for times of danger. Like, if our house is being broken into, and I get the gun, and I tell her to hide, I am being assertive in that moment. I am giving her an instruction. And that is the correct thing to do.
(My apologies to the feminists.)

[WonderBell99]

Lol, true feminism has nothing to do with your opinion.

[Jamie05rhs]

@WonderBell99 Are you a feminist? And do you approve of my opinion? Lol

[Jamie05rhs]

See, I'm a feminist myself. And that's why I feel a little guilty for saying what I said. (Even though I think I'm right.)

[WonderBell99]

I sure am, and I’m not going to apologize for it. Besides, everyone seems to confuse radical feminism with true feminism.

And I approve.. except for the feminist part. That was largely unnecessary.

[Jamie05rhs]

@WonderBell99 Okay lol. I'm glad you approve! That actually means a lot. I appreciate it! :)

[WonderBell99]

You don’t really need anyone’s approval to make an opinion. I’ve seen you around and you seem respectful. 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

@WonderBell99 Aww. Okay; thank you! ☺️🤗

[Little_Bumblebee]

There is no 'should'.
It's up to the individuals what they want and need in their life, and who they meet, and who want and need them in their life.

Decide for yourself, and don't let others dictate who you can and cannot be with, that's only up to you and your partner.

[MCheetah]

No. Two assertive people together is a horrible idea, because both of you are going to try to boss around the other. Also, assertive women are almost never feminine, as assertiveness is a very masculine trait.

[LovingLoverReturned]

What do you think of older and wiser's answer?

[MCheetah]

@LovingLoverReturned
I generally don't agree with him on anything regarding women and relationships, this answer included. "Assertive" means "having a forceful personality" and "demanding directly what you want verbally." Which doesn't necessarily make one dominant or required to be (a woman can make demands all day that her breadwinner husband rejects or denies), but is often the case.

[LovingLoverReturned]

I understand

[Datboi65]

Assertive means someone who asserts their view into others. "Having or showing a confident and forceful personality" is the dictionary definition. Therefore, don't you think it goes against all logic to assume that an assertive man will want someone as assertive as they are? It will lead to arguments because both want to have it their way. In reality, one has to submit and if you choose to submit, then you have failed as a man.

[Pegases]

I wouldn't. Assertive women are usually masculine here in the states. While it is certainly possible and quite normal for an Assertive women to be feminine, that is not the norm in America.

[Anonymous]

Probably not. An assertive person is probably assertive because they like being in control and being with another assertive person would often counter that. I imagine it would bother them. An assertive person would probably be more comfortable with a reserved person.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I think so. I've read a lot of "modern women" talk on GAG, but I just see being assertive as knowing what you want and going after it, if you don't agree or something is troubling you, you voice your opinion. Pretty healthy stuff!

[Prof_Don]

Absolutely not. All of my female friends are friends only, because I know that we would clash in a relationship.


I don’t want to fight for the steering wheel of the relationship. I want to lead. Period.

[Phoenix98]

A man should look for whatever kind of woman he likes. But just because a man is assertive doesn't mean that's what he wants in a woman the same can be said in reverse.

[motownplayer2000]

I mean, there can only be one “alpha” in any “tribe” or family. If everyone is a leader and not a follower, nothing gets done. 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚊 𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎.

[jshm2]

Depends what you interpret as "assertive". As it can be narcissistic behaviours, to empowered people

[anon1903]

I'd like a submissive man with fairly high self esteem. I'm pretty assertive and dominant myself. I think we'd just click!

[Looksnicholas]

Yes, provided that I as a subservient man can couple up with a subservient woman ^⁠_⁠^