He friendzoned me, do I have any chance?

[Lilla543]

We are very good friends since few years. I fell in love with him and told him about it few months ago, he didn't feel the same and wanted to remain friends. He is often rejected by other girls, he never had a proper girlfriend. I comfort him and he can cry on my shoulder about other girls. Do you think he can fall in love with me one day? Or it's impossible if he friendzoned me? I am not waiting for him, I am dating other guys and maybe I will fall for someone else, but right now I still like him.

[SueShe]

You actually gave the reply to your own question when you state "... I am dating other guys...".

He is aware that you are dating other men and he is probably not the type of person that is interested in share a girl with other guys. He friendzoned you because in his eyes, you may seem too superficial and perhaps a little unreliable when it comes to exclusive feelings.

Now, as to whether he may change his mind in the future, that will depend on you only and whether you are ready to stop dating multiple people simultaneously. I honestly doubt that he will change his mind because, unfortunately, you may have given him an insight on your true character and personality.

That is the way I see it. Sorry if I caused you some issues.

[bamesjond0069]

Agree. I won't date someone who is seeing other people. That's a good chance that's the problem.

[AmeerX]

I think you should talk to him one more time. Tell him you love him always. Take my love and be my lover please. I will be yours faithful. I don't want to be just your friend but your wife and mother to your children. So please give me a chance.

That is sure to help give you a clear answer. And do it in person. And who dates other guys while confessing to there friend. Don't try to keep him as a second option.

And good luck with your life. By the way, I think you should understand that you're just feeling bad about being his friend only. But think about it, none of that matters. I have a friend, who is in a similar situation. He is even married now but he has a lover. He and her both love each other but he knows he can't be together with her unless his wife agrees. So, we as friends tell him to don't even try to go and fuck her. It will ruin his wife for that cheating will be end for them both. Let it remain a friendship. For his wife who doesn't know about it, I just pray she is not being neglected by him and even if she finds out that she talks to his lover she understands and doesn't hurt herself and him and his lover too and accept that emotions are real and he remained faithful by not fornicating with her. Just talking to her isn't bad at least once in a while it shouldn't bother the wife.

[MrHopper]

I had a friend of about 10 years, and like you i asked them out and they said no... after a few months our friendship went back to normal and we didn't talk about it again. Then years later it came up in conversation, i was already in a long term relationship and she pretty much threw her self at me, saying it was one of the biggest regrets in her life to say no to me (she was going through a bad time in her life with bad relationships over and over). I wasn't interested in her any more, i had moved on and although it was really nice to feel she did actually like me back then, regardless of me being in a relationship she just was not my thing.

We all grow as people, we are not always the same people through life, so in that vein yes i guess he might change to like you, but chances are you are more likely to drift apart over the years.

[Lilla543]

Thank you for your opinion. It's not like I want him to regret it after 10 years and be unhappy, really. I though maybe our story can end well one day, if we both are single still. I am dating another guy now, yes, and I like him, but sadly it's not that strong how I feel about my friend. I am not sure If I should stop dating him, but then I hope my feelings might get stronger. And I don't want to wait for my friend to change mind.

[MrHopper]

The longer you stay with some one the more you just become "used" to that person, you lean on that person to support you and be there for you and share stupid jokes and history. If you feel that the guy you are with now is the type of person you see your self with in years to come then stay with him, if not then perhaps have a discussion with him about the relationship, i once did this and we both were like "phew!"

It does sound like you do have very strong feelings for your friend, unrequited loves hurts like a bitch but all you can do is give it time :(

[Lilla543]

Someone suggested I should not talk to my friend anymore because it's manipulative. But we were friends since years, we talk about everything. Is it manipulative/wrong to still be his friend?

[MrHopper]

Not if you are both okay with it, i have heard before that when some one is "friendzoned" the attention tends to focus on that person, but not the other person who thought they had a friend. Not sure i totally agree with that, you can love some one and be friends.

At the end of the day you both know the situation, like me and that friend we still remained friends for years later. Maybe talk to him about it and see what he says

[BlueScorpio]

Mmm I think it's best to move on and not wait or try to change someone's mind about you. I tell guys this as well when they've been placed in the friendzone. He sees you as friend/emotional support, the last thing you want is for him to see you as last resort cause he can't get the other women he wants. Now you can stay friends if you want, buts going to be harder getting over him and may hurt when he finally does get a girlfriend. Don't let anyone tell you twice you're not what they want cause it will ruin your self esteem. There are others out there, it just means he's not meant for you and it's okay.

[Cynicaldreamer]

If you like him, then why are you dating other guys? Sorry to come off as rude, but the last time a guy friendzoned me, I wasn't able to just "date" other guys right away- or maybe that's just me.

To answer your question- NO. If you get friendzoned, it means exactly that: he only sees you as a close friend and nothing more. He even told you he wants to remain friends and I don't see that changing. It sucks, because let's face it, no one likes being rejected, but at least you do have other options and guys interested in you.

[coachTanthony]

Many people think if they get friendzoned that somehow that person who did is really attracted to you and wants to be with you. It does not. They aren't into you that way and he wants to remain friends. You can stay as a friend or not hang out anymore. But if you are going to wait around to see if he changes his mind they you are stuck in some crazy mental friendzone that you created not him.

[ChiTown33]

Spot on coach! The truth that people simply don't want to face. People catch feelings generally off of something somebody said or did (to be fair sometimes it is intentional baiting by that person). But they don't nor ever did have interest in you. And people create a connection in thier head that never even existed on the other person's end. And the longer they allow this fantasy to persist in thier mind the harder it is for them when REALITY hits.

[Guy13]

Friendzone is nothing more than sending one to the F -U 🖕 Zone. You are rejected and the equivalent of a Misfit Toy to the other person.

[Avicenna]

Id forget about him as a potential partner if he friendzoned you

[CrazyGirl2]

I honestly think that you better move on. You told him how you feel, and he told you he wasn't interested. So move on, make a clean break, but don’t mention the (you told him you loved him thing) he may see it as an emotionally manipulative ploy. Just end it. Believe me, he has NOT forgotten about what you said, and there is a SLIGHT possibility that he would be willing to try a romantic relationship, to see if it works, if he starts thinking about his life without you in it, but dont hold your breath, he probably won’t, so please don’t do it for that reason, do it because it’s not healthy to tell someone you love them, get rejected, and continue to hang around. I do hope you find happiness soon, but I doubt it will be w/ this guy, but hey… stranger things have happened!

[Lilla543]

You suggest I should end our friendship? I knew him sińce years , we are good friends

[CrazyGirl2]

No that’s up to you, but I know that if a guy I was friends with told me he was in love with me and I definitely did not feel the same way, being around that guy would make me very uncomfortable. It possibly makes him just as uncomfortable? Given that you don’t stand a chance w/him, why keep hurting yourself by being around someone you know does not love you back?
But I wouldn’t just tell someone to end a friendship for no reason. I was just looking out for your mental well being. It cannot feel good being around someone you love knowing that it’s never gonna happen? But you need to do what YOU feel is necessary!

[Screenwriter]

You said you were "in love" with him. That's not "liking" him. If after you tell someone you're in love with them, they say they want to be friends, friends are all you'll be.

It IS impossible for your relationship to be anything other than that. Stop allowing yourself to be used. Let him cry to male friends. You're not his mommy. And you don't want to be THAT kind of friend unless you have NO romantic interest or attraction to him.

You'll never be in love with someone else if, secretly, you're hoping that he'll change towards you. See a counselor and grieve for this lost possibility. When you're OVER him, then is the time for you to start dating with the plan to be open to falling in love with someone who'll reciprocate.

[Mmmariaxc]

🤷🏻‍♀️ I have never been friendzoned, I have friendzoned and it was because we got on really well but he lacked confidence and was negative about himself was the main reason. It seems nice to be able to be friends without complications though. Do you know why he isn’t attracted to you as more? You say he was rejected by other girls so what’s his type? maybe that’s the reason he just sees you as a friend.
So how did you say you fell in love with him? Maybe you just shocked him with it but If I was him I’d feel like you lied about it since you are dating other guys already.

[ManhattanMan1212]

Can I ask you a question?

[Mmmariaxc]

@ManhattanMan1212 what?

[ManhattanMan1212]

Could you love a great man if he only had a average size penis?

[Mmmariaxc]

@ManhattanMan1212 🤦🏻‍♀️

[ManhattanMan1212]

What does that mean?

[Mmmariaxc]

@ManhattanMan1212 I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ Are you serious, everyone knows you need a 12 in dick to be good in bed lol
I’m joking I’m sure you have no problem with an average size.

[ManhattanMan1212]

Have you had great sec with a average dick?

[Mmmariaxc]

@ManhattanMan1212 the best

[lightbulb27]

If he goes back to his childhood and resolves whatever issues are drawing him to the other women, maybe that frees him up to be attracted to you and see your fine qualities. It needs to be romantic, and his "love" is something else... whatever these other women are projecting. He obviously needs to do that as he has issues in his upbringing if he's failing and ending in tears with you.

The friendzone is a safe place.

you on the other hand have to ask why you are drawn to him. I suspect you are sensitive and caring. what is this love?

[meetkitty123]

Honestly your friend is never going to see you as anything but your friend and you're better off just getting over it and moving on you need to get this notion out of your head he isn't going to love you as you want him to.

You would have to drastically change and that's not right he sees you as he has always seen you and that would be difficult to get this concept out of his head that you're anything but his friend I think it would take an absolute makeover and serious power and act of seduction on your part I'm not sure if it's worth it the effort

You shouldn't have to sexy yourself up to get his attention.

Anyways the man knows how you feel he clearly doesn't feel that way for you you need to seek someone else.

[Nik1hil]

He is a fucking dumbass..

If a girl can move past long term friend zone to accept you as her mate, then she has done something that only a minute fraction of good women can do, toxic women cannot do that, he has a diamond in his pocket and playing with glass shards on his table!..

Don't wait, move on, he will understand it later in life, much later, when it's too late, your life is short, live for yourself first!..

[Chazmatazz269]

Some, but not enough to dwell on it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Do your own thing until he reaches out to you. As a real friend, he must. Chances are his feelings will change between now and then. Just prepare yourself for the worst, and hope for the best. Otherwise, move on and forget him entirely. I recommend the latter.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Maybe if you commit to him alone. You are dating others after all. I commit to dating just one person at a time. I don't say that dating multiple people is wrong, but it might send the wrong message to the guy you want.

I would also spend more time with him and flirt a bit here and there. Give him a preview if what he can expect from dating you.

[Lis-the-librarian]

Maybe you dating other guys is what made him not view you as a good partner.

Maybe you are not fit and getting healthy and strong will get his attention.

The way you described him and his inability to get a girl came of low key bitchy, maybe its the vibe he gets from you.

What do you think is the reason why he doesn't view you that way? What would you need to improve?

[Fromdusktilldawn]

hm as a guy, when having a female friend, at one moment or another the thought of sex with her or a relationship happens and is I guess inevitable. I think the only thing making a guy stay friend only is if he just doesn't see her as a personality match or isn't sexually atracted to her

[Shinzu]

Anything can happen, but you shouldn't think about it. You shouldn't be thinking about things that may or may not happen in the future, you have no control over that, he currently has no interest and that's what matters. Go out and meet other guys, I'm sure many interesting men like him will be interested in you

[KaiidiraX]

I wouldn't wait for him. If it happens it happens but you may miss a chance for someone who can make you happy waiting on some guy who may never be into you. Men are usually pretty obvious when they really want you.

[Anonymous]

Highly unlikely that this will ever work. The only reason dudes friendzone a girl is if he's not sexually attracted to her or if his sexual attraction isn't as powerful as he likes. Your best bet for changing that is to get in shape so that you have the hottest body possible given your genetics.

[sheikalana]

I'd say keep your expectations low. He was clear and told you he doesn't feel the same way and wants to remain friends. If it's meant to be it's eventually going to happen but don't expect to be more than friends.

[DaisyM23]

I mean sure there's potential but then everyone has potential like that. But it sounds like you're respecting that the only sees you as a friend, move on - if something happens, it'll happen

[John_Doesnt]

If a man friendzones you then it's likely you are not his type and never will be. You can't convince men with your "personality". Men care more about visuals and types. If you're not his type then move on and find another man.