Why is society trying to change what is seen as attractive?

[blissinanarchy1]

I’ve noticed something over the past few years. Society is attempting to force people to change values in a relationship. I see a lot of “gaslighting” for having standards.

So here’s my thing. Be gay, I honestly don’t give a fuck. Be flamboyant even.

But why am I looked down upon, called sexist, misogynistic, insecure, etc for having standards?

If a woman slept with A LOT of guys, and I don’t want her, I’m “insecure.”

If she got OnlyFans and I don’t want her, I’m “insecure, jealous.”

If she still talks to people she slept with in the past and I don’t want her, I’m “controlling.”

I’m not sure if these women never experienced a true, abusive and controlling man. Because I have a couple boundaries, which aren’t even really terrible, I’m “controlling.”

See, here’s the thing. Relationships are almost comparable to business, whether it’s right or not.

If what is valued are these traits, such as a lack of being promiscuous, no sex work history, etc, then that is what is going to be looked for. Society making it common, doesn’t make it valued. It makes those qualities even rarer, and even more valued.

So go ahead, sleep around, do sex work. I’m not questioning your morals, I’m not calling you a bad person. There’s a chance you can meet a quality guy. But just know, quality wants quality. If your actions lower your quality, you can’t expect high to lower it’s standards to settle for you.

[inhua]

from what I've seen it's completely one-sided in favor of women but not upheld for men

take the body positivity movement/fat acceptance movement for example, you don't see fat men being promoted (nor should they) but you do see them getting ridiculed and made fun of and you can't say anything remotely negative about fat women.

short men, bald men, disabled men, men with small penises... it's all open season to make fun of them and women will have no issue openly expressing their disgust for these type of men for things outside of their control.

and yes the beauty standards for men are a lot higher than the beauty standards for women. the standards men have for women are really low and they will accept anything which is why when a man has higher standards above the norm, he gets shamed for it, just look at Leonardo DiCaprio.

[NamerOfStars]

It's a consequence of the glorification of victimhood. Society went from "it's better to be a victim than a victimizer" to "it's better to be a victim than to not be a victim". Resources and social status followed, and eventually, it became a seemingly impregnable defense; just claim victimhood, and everyone else is expected to believe and support you. Then it moved on to "just accuse someone of 'oppressing' or 'attacking' you, and they'll be ostracized and socially punished".

It's what happens when chivalry is pursued without question- what did you THINK was going to happen?

[disgustingweebtrash]

If she sleeps with a lot of guys she's insecure

If she got an onlyfans she uses men for money therefore misandrist hater bitch

If she slept with people in the past and still talks to them she's controlling bc she's using options against you in the relationship

It's just taking a characteristic then putting some weird label on it to make you feel better and put them down basically

[RolandCuthbert]

So you feel pressure because you think someone is trying to get you to date women who have had a lot of guys?

:D

[CloudMassacre]

Values change all the time, just look back 30 years at a time going all the way back and the values will change

[Anonymous]

Because when someone knows they don't meet the definition of "attractive", the easiest fix is to change the definition.