Are looks important to you when looking for a partner?

Question

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Looks are important to a point to be attracted to someone initially (usually). BUT honestly, overall, they really aren't important to me.

I've learned through experience, that someone's personality can DRASTICALLY affect how attractive I find someone. I've known girls who were 10/10 good-looking who became quite ugly to me once I got a sense of what they were like as people.

I've also had the exact opposite happen. There is one case in particular from a long time ago that stands-out. This new girl started at my work. When we first saw her, (like a couple of assholes) my buddy made some comment to me about how unattractive she was. I agreed.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and I'm sitting at the bar with that same buddy, and he turns to me and says: "Man, I don't know what happened, but that Magda girl is actually pretty fucking awesome". And she was pretty fucking awesome. She had a great personality. She was a lot of fun. She... looked very different to all of us, than she had when we first saw her. My buddy and her had a thing... that ended up going nowhere.

But the point remains. A girl we thought was particularly unattractive CHANGED to become attractive based on personality.

I'll give you one more. There is only one person from my past who could be called anything like "the one who got away." Now that's not even accurate. There was never any 'almost' about us. This girl was in a relationship with the dude she eventually married, the entire 4 years I knew her. This was over a decade ago, but still, she is the person I had the strongest feelings for... but never actually had a relationship with.

So this girl had PERSONALITY. She was just such a fun, funny, kind, interesting... excellent person. I'm smiling from ear-to-ear as I type this, just thinking about her. She was like a ray of sunshine walking around. I feel like all my memories of her involve us both laughing. She was freaking great.

But this girl is plain looking. Not unattractive. But definitely plain looking. Very ordinary. No guys are going to turn their heads when she walks into the room. But I have to take a step back and remind myself that that's the case. That's certainly not how I see her. She's absolutely beautiful to me. Stunning really. But that's only because I associate 'her looks' with her personality. It's impossible for me to see her any other way. But I KNOW I didn't see her for the first time and think she was beautiful. I probably didn't really think anything. Like I said, she was very plain or ordinary looking. But goddamn I wish that girl was single.

So, ultimately, for me, looks aren't all that important. 🙂

tiamatx · Accepted Answer

Yes, but not in conventional way. Looks = you take care of yourself, have healthy diet, maintain a decent level of fitness. Also looks = the way she moves can be incredibly sexy.

Looks alone are nothing without a spark.

Bad personality cancels even the best conventional looks - wouldn't event want an ONS.

WonderBell99 · Accepted Answer

Of course, it is. I cannot imagine dating or falling in love with someone I'm not attracted to. However, I would not say that it is as important or more important than compatibility or personality. Say, for example, I go on a date with a guy called Quinn. He is a 9 in the looks department, BUT on our date, I see him being rude to the waiter. Would I go out with him again? Absolutely not. Why? If he is treating a waiter (who brings him his food) this bad, imagine how he might treat me in the future if this relationship progresses.

Only those who are partially or completely visually impaired TRULY date solely based on personality and not looks. (I'm not trying to be offensive, just to be clear.) And of course, apart from physical appearance and personality, your preferences like tattoos, piercings or smoking/drinking alcohol can be dealbreakers for some. I could go on a date with someone I find attractive to an extent, but if he treats me well and we have a blast and our values match, I will go out with him in a heartbeat, and he will become more attractive in my eyes.

To sum up, looks attract me and personality makes me stay.

Intergalacticpunk · Accepted Answer

Sure, looks are great and usually the first impression we get from someone. However, some gorgeous people are insufferable, and some below-average folks are the sweetest people you'll ever meet. If you're dating someone conventionally attractive, they could turn ugly to you really quickly as you get to know them. Meanwhile, someone who was 'ugly' to you at the beginning could have you lost in their eyes as you get closer. To sum it up, personality is more important to me, but looks are a VERY nice cherry on top.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Yes and no, they go hand and hand with personality. I've had people I knew that were hansom and great looking but as I got to know them they turned ugly. Also had others that I thought were average, nothing special but as I got to know them they started to look really gorgeous to me.

The way I see it, those that marry or get together based on looks, the looks will fade, which means they will eventually split when one or the other thinks their partner isn't attractive anymore.

MrOracle · Answer

Looks are important to everyone to some degree, but some put far more importance on it than others, and people also have different tastes. But no one doesn't care at all.

For myself, I am fine with average looks, but I heavily prioritize an all-natural, feminine look, so no tattoos, extra piercings, crazy hair, wild makeup, etc. A girl who was born a 9, but has tattoos and piercings and shaved hair is a 1 to me. Plenty of other guys would disagree, and that's fine. I would easily take an all-natural 5 over that hypothetical girl.

BlueScorpio · Answer

People can deny and lie about it as much as they want, but yes most people want a partner they are attracted to. Your looks get you the first date but it's your personality, mentality, morals etc. That keeps or loses a person. If you have a crappy personality, chances are you're not getting a second date... unless the person is extremely desperate and only sticking around cause you're hot. But that usually doesn't last long cause it's mostly based off lust/sexual attraction.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Looks are important because physical attraction is an essential part of a relationship. However, what I look for in a woman is not some ultra-high standard of beauty. I can be attracted to girls who are quite average and may not be turning heads when they walk down the street. So, attraction is important, but I;m not necessarily looking for a woman who other guys would call a "trophy."

Guy13 · Answer

Yes looks are a significant part of dating. If they are not attractive in some way, I will never speak to them. And if i do not speak then I do not get to find if they are pretty on the inside. Yes, looks are important.

coachTanthony · Answer

Well yes they rank right up there with humor personality and intelligence. I want the complete package not just a smidgeon.

DaveJord · Answer

Not the most important thing, but it definitely matters for sure.

Avicenna · Answer

It’s not a top priority. .

starfoxxy64 · Answer

I just gotta dumped after 10 years of him cheating and enjoying another person while behind my own father's back before my father loss his fight with stage 4 lung cancer and bladder cancer which my father had The Talk man - man which that so called ex boyfriend as of now. Who has actually went behind my back and even gotten a charged with domestic battery charge and Domestic charger with bodily harm. Against the complete same own female who had thrown in jail in January 2020. Which he even tried saying I was his real reason of why he felt he was bored 🥱 in our own personal relationship which my father talk about stuff which. He claimed they I should of not lied about how I was going to start working out at the gym to losing weight.. which unfortunately I have mental health ; PTSD , Anxiety, Bi-polar type 1 which yes I have to take my medicines. So he was trying it gaslighting me.

To answer this question is :

I look for common interests, i. e Music, Pet friendly person ( pup mother of a 10- month old puppy mix ) , enjoy common sports like ; football ⚽, Basketball 🏀 .

Yet yes looks like genetics 🧬 I usually try to stay with that part also , i. e Blue eyes / Natural redheaded male , Blue Eyes / Blonde

Since I have a natural Red hair with blue eyes.

Datboi65 · Answer

Yes they are. Saying that they are not would be disingenuous. The question isn't whether they are important, rather how important are they? To answer that question, we have to go through a list.

Physical qualifications

Personal characteristics

Values and morals

Physical qualifications: Are what we call your look. Hair color, eye color, face symmetry and even ethnicity can come into play. I'm not very strict with this criteria, I prefer women with darker skin and large eyes.

Personal characteristics "personality": Whether someone is an introvert or an extrovert, what they like doing as a hobby, the music they listen to and so on. This tells you a bit about the person, but not enough. I can get along with a wide variety of people, but what I noticed is that I prefer being around introverts more.

Morals and values: This is by far the most important one. Are you community-oriented or individualistic? Traditional or modern? Religious or not? This is usually where I would put more time and energy focusing on.

I listed everything from an order of importance, from least important to most important. Remember that in order for you to approach the person, you need to be physically attracted to them. What keeps you with them is who they are. Having said all of that, physical attraction is in fact important.

Tranquility_Lady · Answer

Of course every says oh personality blah blah blah 🙄 😒 😑 😐 🙃 but in reality a good looking partner is important and personality for me a partner has to have both good looks and personality that's the reality your partner has to be good looking and have good looks one with out the other causes issue if you pick. only personality but the person isn't that attractive it's hard cause you need some beautiful to kiss and a nice personality to balance everything out I don't give a fuck with anyone comments are size Google says this too hah folks according to Google when looking for a partner they have to have good looks and personality for balance a o good job ambitious strong emotional supporting good texted ✝️ Christian loyal love mes and only me loads in common wants children have to get married before sex and marriage and I find my Panter already he's the one and I love him very much

meetkitty123 · Answer

Attraction of course plays a role when selecting our partners however it isn't the number one thing I look for honestly I need someone with an awesome personality and I want them smart I like things such as classical music poetry I want to be able to talk about books writers I enjoy a good debate and talks about theories. I love it when a guy can talk technical to me or mathematical or scientific.

So it's brains over Beauty for me. But regardless there has to be something of the person that I find attractive my current boyfriend I'm crazy about his eyes drop dead gorgeous combination of blue green and gray.

Lliam · Answer

Yes. I wouldn't date someone I didn't find attractive. I want someone I'll be proud to be with and who I think is adorable and sexy. I want to feel honored that she wants to be with me.

But my idea of attractive doesn't match the beauty standards portrayed media. I think cute, normal, girl-next-door types are the most beautiful. I don't believe in the 1-10 rating system.

If I like her looks and we progress to dating, there are many other important factors besides appearance. Grooming, clothing choices, voice, personality, intellect, values, ethics, goals, hopes and dreams, work ethic, common interests, and so on. But initially it's about physical attraction.

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

Yes, absolutely! I wouldn’t say that looks are the MOST important thing about a person, but when we first meet someone, we usually don’t look at them and think “wow, I bet he has a great sense of humor” or “OMG, I bet she’s great at algebra”! Of course looks are important, but the challenge in life is to give people you might not ordinarily date, a chance. I like muscular men, but my last boyfriend was skinny! I said yes to him because he made me laugh without even trying before he asked me out. We were together almost 2yrs! And we would STILL be together had he not chosen to go to a college on the complete opposite side of the continent! So I know that for me, looks are not only not the most important thing, I know that guys who are NOT my “type” are more compatible, and make better boyfriends than the guys who ARE my type!

FireGodGoesSeeknFire · Answer

As a practical matter looks are the only thing matters. Everything else will either

A. project itself onto looks. For example, the experience of a sexy voice is that the woman seems hotter when you look at or think about her.

B. Incorporate itself into "dynamic" Yhere is a give in take that defines relationships with more subtly that I could possibly write or some could analyze verbally.

All the non-loks things can be thrown into that pile and subconscious will sorry it all out.

TheorionMage · Answer

On a visceral level, yes.
HER genes will possibly mingle with your's and determine your (pl) progeny's inheritance in their OWN future mating opportunities.
Nature motivates potential 'parents' to always 'stack the deck' to favor THEIR OWN offspring's best skills to carry their genes forward into the future.

'Glamoury' serves to convince the male to remain infatuated with his choice of companion so as to dedicate HIS efforts & resources to "their" progeny in common and ward off rival suitors. Women who discount this, eventually wind up single parents when her 'Romeo' sows his 'wild oats' to the NEXT gullible 'doe'. :(

Are looks important to you when looking for a partner?

Evie_Rose91608 · Answer

To be honest, I try to tell myself "looks don't matter. It's about what's on the inside and not the outside." But, I definitely find myself looking at someone's looks when looking for a significant other. For example, when I was falling in love with my current boyfriend, James, I found myself liking him for his dirty blonde hair, his dark brown eyes, his body, and his blue braces.

But I also like him for his personality. Personality matters!

Like, a guy/woman (because I'm bisexual) could be the hottest person in the world, but be really mean. In that case, I'd definitely move on to someone else because I want to try my best not to become caught in a "fake love toxic relationship."

So, yeah, looks are important, but also personality. I'd also have to agree with @WonderBell99 when I say, her quote, "Looks attract me and personality make me stay."

lilyanony1 · Answer

They factor in yes. But it isn't the key ingredient to a good relationship...
I go by personality. And the characteristics of a person.
People generally look better when they smile and are confident in themselves.
I think that I have dated a varied look when it comes to men mostly because I've dated outside my racial profile.

I've only dated one exceptionally good looking guy and he basically treated me like he was too good for me.

Labokachulaa · Answer

A majority of people on social media will usually say looks don't matter, but I'm one of the honest people who will tell you that's mainly a lie.

Looks do indeed matter because typically you want to be with someone who is in the same league as you. That's one of the many reasons that first impressions are a big deal, they judge you not only by your personality but also by your appearance.

petitedollbabee · Answer

They play a part, ofcourse you’re going to seek a partner who you’re attracted to physically, but looks fade over time. Personality is the important thing in a partner. An ugly personality can make even the most physically beautiful person ugly. And a great personality can make a physically average person gorgeous.

Nsync · Answer

Looks are not important at all. As time has gone on, I realised how difficult it is to find a person that is beautiful on the inside. Someone that genuinely cares for people (not just for me but for all people). Someone that makes me feel good and can inspire and motivate me to be the best I can be.

I challenge you, these are rare and difficult qualities to find. It may be found inside a person that does not look attractive on the outside but I will cherish these qualities so much. I invest a lot into my relationships and will be genuine and give back equally or more. I want a soulmate, not a lookmate,

inhua · Answer

looks have always been important to everyone regardless of how politically incorrect it is to say so. personality and everything else is a distant second because you can't know these things without getting to know the person except when people see someone they don't like looking at, they won't get to know that person.

Username28 · Answer

Yeah. Generally I’m attracted to guys with beards however their personality and humor does also play a big role. I’ve never been opposed to dating someone without beard but I’d being lying if I said I wouldn’t need them to be a little “extra” for me to notice them in a romantic way.

TenderFantasy · Answer

Yeah. That's how I stayed with someone a bit too long or kept coming back (on and off) with them! It didn't help that the sex was awesome. 😔 But at the end of the day, an asshole will be an asshole. A narcissist will be a narcissist! Sad but true.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I will be upfront and say yes. I know it is shallow, but if I am not physically attracted to them it won't work in the long run. I am in shape and active, I would want a woman that looks similar to me or at least takes care of herself well with the personality coming in with it.

marshmallowcream · Answer

Yes , because without the looks I won’t be interested in getting to know the person in the first place. Plus I’ve been in that situation before where I tried to date someone I wasn’t attracted to, and it’s just doesn’t work , no matter what you can’t look past the physical attraction

MCheetah · Answer

Not that important, but they do matter. I'd say it's 70-30, with personality mattering the most. With that said, I just don't want a woman who's masculine, has poor hygiene, is really old, or super-ugly (like this.)

As long as she's feminine, curvy, and ideally tall (5'10"+), I'm happy.

tenor55 · Answer

All I know is, in 1971, this absolutely gorgeous girl walked into choir. I was smitten and we have been making beautiful music together ever since! So, yes, looks were important!

Now, that is from the perspective of a guy. I look at some couples and wonder what she sees in him. I like to say that all men marry above themselves…myself included!

DaisyM23 · Answer

Yeah, I think looks is obviously the first thing you see when you look at someone and think about getting to know them, that initial attraction is usually there I think. And then you get to know them and see if you match in terms of values/goals/personalities - some people let things pass whilst others don't

Sour-rose · Answer

Not really? You can look like the trashiest mofo with one eye, scar on your face and half of your hair (if any) is a different color that you didn't do yourself. But if you act like you got common sense to come smelling nice and with a good soul, seems you and i might be able to do sumthin'

dynamicyandere · Answer

Looks will always be outclassed by things like chemistry and vibe, but they still matter to an extent.

Like clothing, right? If you want to look attractive, being well-dressed will undoubtedly help. But, you don’t have to go crazy with having the best wardrobe—just don’t dress like a slob and you’ll be just fine.

Because at the end of the day, looks may CATCH attention, but it’s personality that KEEPS attention.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i had crush before who isn't good lookinh but i telligent and gentleman and love his voice when he calls me " sheena.. sheena.." he is also not rich he is a scholar.. my ex i find him good lookinh but he isn't my crush so it depends. but in general yeah the looks is important to me.

mstbooblover · Answer

For a first contact, there's nothing else than the look, which makes it somehow important. The mysterious side of this "look" may still be of very different kind, not particularly superficial beauty for instance. More important for me is that something difficult to describe must emanate that catches my attention.

Blackmoonsns · Answer

Yes that's what makes me approach her but she doesn't have any kind of compatible personality hobbies or I find her extremely rude all the time or she has a masculine energy those are turn offs. Big turn off for me is when I chase a woman and she doesn't chase me back. I don't do one side of relationships.

frognzl · Answer

Everyone’s different but for me yeah absolutely.
It’s love at first sight, that initial attraction, that one woman that chokes you up inside that you adore more then anything in the word.
The girl you see at the gym but terrified of asking on a date because you can’t stop admiring her.
Sorry to all you woke “it’s what’s on the inside that counts most” people but looks come first yes. 💯

Anonymous · Answer

At first, yes... but that emotional connection is everything and can actually make you more physically attracted to a person with time. But what you might think women find attractive isn't always the same. If someone is stereotypically ugly but has a nice smile, kind eyes, I would probably be attracted. Weight, height, hair or no hair, are not features that play into attractiveness for me.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, BUT, looks go up and down as I get to know a person. If I get to know an objectively beautiful woman and I don’t like her personality, values, etc. I start noticing the imperfections. We all have them, and when you don’t like someone, they outshine other parts.

Conversely, I’ve known many women that might not turn a man’s eye, but when I get to know them they’re wonderful and I find them more physically attractive.

Just goes to show that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

brezzybaby · Answer

I mean kind of but not really cause I mean im not always looking at someone for how good they look I am looking at them for the way they are with me. And that kind of thing. But one minute you have it all (that significant other) there and then the next thing you know bang boom , gone with out a trace.

DrBanana · Answer

I’d say looks are important but not the be all end all.

Lots of people have different tastes so what you thing is sexy might not even do it for another person.

But in my opinion long term personality should also play a large role to make sure you two are compatible with each other.

Amarasimmons7 · Answer

Yes and no. If someone is hella attractive but has a terrible personality, and isn't nice, I would definetly decline the offer to date them. But, if someone is "Ugly" and really nice, funny, and kind, then I would go out with them. I've done it before, and they were really good people. A good learning experience.

Oddi_211 · Answer

Yes. A lot. I need to be impressed by her looks and find her very attractive. However it‘s just the initial requirement. There are many pretty and beautiful girls. Most of them are not for me. So personality is more important. But she needs to be fine af for me as well

Alex8736 · Answer

i look at things for the long run. For the short term looks can work to an advantage but in the long term there is always someone better looking. an example would be the porn industry where in the Short term your on cloud 9 but in the long term is we as humans are not getting any younger and can't turn back time so we are replaceable by a newer updated model. where in order to be happy you have to look at the cons along with the pros

Weapon77 · Answer

Yes. Obviously, I need a good girl with sunstance to her more than anything, and I don't need physical perfection since I am far from that myself. But looks are important too. Can't have someone outright ugly or overweight

Messianic_Monk · Answer

It's something that gets factored in, of course. But a personality can definitely make someone look better 👍 a pretty person with an ugly personality can make them look ugly. It shows on your face

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Of course. Appearance is THE primary attraction in nearly 100% of cases, save people whose faculties are impaired. It’s evolutionary biology and anyone who denies this simple fact is ignorant or lying.

t_time · Answer

Let's Face it. You can't date someone your not attracted to... I'm not being shallow it's the truth.. beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

Well I’m a man so I have to be attracted to you. It’s not the most important but attraction is the point. Certainly a beautiful woman can still have an unattractive personality and character and that can make them ugly

redpanda_ · Answer

They aren't as important to me anymore. They used to be really important but I learnt (quite early on in my dating life) that just because someone looks good, doesn't mean they act good or will treat you well.

Stoner710 · Answer

Yes but that’s 1 thing that’s important  values are equally as important as looks same with religion. im a conservatives agnostic so I don’t date liberals and I don’t date religious people.

alice55 · Answer

Yes but i dont need him to look like a model just need to find him attractive personally for me average is ok

mandyfire98 · Answer

Looks do play a part obviously but it's not as big of a part as people make it out to be. Plus looks are subjective.

virtue2332 · Answer

Its importance fades much more quickly than their looks would. if anything, it grabs attention but its a small piece of a complex pie when it comes to the longevity of the relationship.

TheVigilantOne · Answer

I always go for looks, I know some people can be amazing but ugly but I couldn’t be with someone I didn’t find attractive, finding an attractive person with a good personality and sense of humour is nearly impossible these days.

DubiousIntentions · Answer

Not at all. Some of the most down-to-earth people are plain lookers.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

The world is all fucked up. Fuck this shit, I'm out.

menina · Answer

Yes they are. But of course if someone is good looking and has a crappy personality, then I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with them.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know, how do you separate their looks from the rest of them? A person isn't made up of just the way they look or just their personality but a combination of both. It's impossible to separate them so these type of questions are pointless in my opinion.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

Less important for looking for a partner in committed relationship. Character far more important. However, if they insecure and have self image issues, forget it..

SnowedIn · Answer

It's not a deciding factor or a deal breaker but it's part of the entire package.

Darine123 · Answer

Looks used to be a thing I was looking for in a guy cuz it’s attracted to me but now looks isn’t that important to me but it’s the way he treats me and how nice he is

Are looks important to you when looking for a partner?

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