I am a 20 year old mixed (black/white) woman in a white town. I’ve always been used to being the only person of color next to my family. Since I was a kid I’ve always been the only black girl in my group of friends, there’s no other black people in my town so I haven’t met many. I see myself as a beautiful girl, but I am not the ‘standard’. My friends always get approached when we go out and I don’t usually. Most guys I’m interested in will prefer my friends. I’ve heard people tend to like others that look like themselves or their parents (ex: white guys go for white girls etc.). It’s hard when I feel I’m only attracted to white men and they usually like my friends. Sometimes I feel like my best isn’t enough for people no matter how kind I am to others I’m not the girl that gets guys. It’s hard not to let my confidence be affected whenever I go out with my friends and they are approached but I’m not. I know I have to be proud of how I look and that everyone has their own preference. I feel I am not as hot as my friends cause I have more of a curvy figure (slim thick, I’m a gym girl so I have nice figure but it’s not stick thin) and my skin color is a light brown, I don’t get approached whereas my white friends always have guys going up to them. I hooked up with a guy who’s been into my skinny white friend for years (they had sex before) he ended up treating me like shit while treating her way better even though she doesn’t even like him back. He invited her to Tahoe and told her not to invite me. It hurt me because I was always kind to him. His friend tried to steal my vape after I smoked them out, I get the feeling he wouldn’t have done that to my skinny white friends as he said he finds them more attractive than me. To summarize: I’ve noticed guys I like always going for skinny white girls but they even never gave me a chance. How do I stop letting this bother me? How do I be confident? Are there guys out there that would like a black girl over a white girl?
I feel invisible next to my skinny white friends, how do I be more confident and let go of others opinions of me?
