How long would you date someone without sex before it becomes an issue?

Question

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I never understood the rush to have sex, especially since I only have sex with a guy if: we're in an exclusive, monogamous relationship, and I'm emotionally connected to him.

Meaning sex isn't going to happen for a few months, if not longer, depending on how well we click, how much time we spend together, and how long until we decide to become exclusive- which usually takes a while in itself. Now for me, that's ran off a lot of guys in the past because they want sex relatively fast... like in a few days if not sooner-

That's fine with me; that weeds out the ones interested in sex more than a meaningful relationship.

So I would say "it just depends." Obviously I'd bring it up and ask if he's ready. Longest I've waited to have sex with a guy was a couple of years.

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

It’d only be an issue if I wanted it and couldn’t bring it about, consensually, for whatever reason.  Usually it wouldn’t be wanted if we were having too much fun, in doing other things.

AviatorTom · Answer

By the 3rd or 4th date, we should at least gave gotten somewhat physical... kissing, holding hands, making out. Intercourse can happen later, when we are both ready but there must be the start of chemistry earlier.

Summeroflove · Answer

Hopefully until marriage. After that ir just depends on the couple

AmyHew1tt · Answer

It really depends. I'm a virgin, and while I'm not interested in waiting until marriage, because I believe having sexual compatibility is important in a life-long commitment, I wouldn't want to have sex unless I'm emotionally connected with him, don't feel pressured, and we are in an exclusive relationship. I doubt, granted I really like him and he really likes me, that I would put it off for more than six months, but I do have some fear around expectations and disappointing him/being disappointed, so it would probably take some time, lots of open communication and understanding.

MrNewton · Answer

Tbh. I might get cancelled here but I really do not see sex as a milestone in a relationship. Like it's not a RPG game where you need to unlock certain achievements to reach a certain level at something. Secondly a huge lot of other factors also influence a relationship like a person's person preference and cultural environment. Also there is no absolute "right way" in a relationship. You can have your opinions and preferences but it's not the absolute way.

Secondly a connection with the person matters for me. Sometimes people take a bit longer to become comfortable. Now will I let go for a really amazing person because we are not having sex at someone's defined time frame?

But it is also important to know about the person you're dating and find out the reason behind this.

Purpleronnie · Answer

There can be no time value out on this , it’s wholly dependent on how often time can be spent together , the persons involved , and most importantly when both feel ready and WANT to. Problems can arise when one person is ready before the other but then it’s about communication without pressure. In my opinion. People all to often jump to the sex part too early. Sex is infinitely better one you have developed a good relationship , together with the passion and desire from attraction this is a dynamite combination

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

Assuming the guy is a virgin and/or waiting for marriage

I can probably last a few months with toys and stuff to satisfy with. Probably up to a year since it's his wish if it makes him happy.

If neither of those things, I couldn't make it a month

elvitto · Answer

I wait until she feels confortable. I would never press a woman into having sex. If she is a virgin I would agree to wait even until marriage.

If she is not a virgin and she doesn't want to have sex, there must be something wrong she will have to communicate so that I can understand and work it together.

Women generally cannot resist to have sex when they feel loved, they love it. If she doesn't want to have sex she would naturally explain why. And I would make a good effort to understand and support her.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Maybe twice... No sex means no interest in my opinion. It's like what I'd like to say to a woman, "I'm not trying to get with you for friendship or especially commitments. I mean let's be serious, I'm a dude... I don't give a fuck about shopping, Starbucks, fashion, and 98% of the bullshit on Netflix."

... and lets be real... I'd rather be fucking that jerking myself off to sleep 2 or 3 times a night. 😂

Looksnicholas · Answer

Depends. Also depends whether it's because she's a virgin or because she's waiting to marriage, religious reason or other health issue maybe even. I suppose I could either wait until marriage, or, maybe my max dates would be somewhere like 4-10 dates somewhere around that. 🥳😋🥳😋 I'm a virgin and not currently dating, for the record folks 🤩👀👀

Oddi_211 · Answer

I don't know about dating because it takes different amount of dates and time. But I have met girls who only have sex in relationships. So I‘d say during dating no problem. After committing to a relationship, I‘d say after 2 months I would wonder why she still doesn‘t want to if I‘m her boyfriend now and we‘ve known each other for even more months

MCheetah · Answer

I wouldn't be "an issue" to me that much, but for the sake of the question, six months. No sex before then, without her "saving herself for marriage" would make me think we aren't really going anywhere and that she doesn't actually like me.

Anonymous · Answer

Let's put it this way.

So long I am not having sex I see no reason to commit or being faithful.

And "waiting until marriage" is out of the question. My libido is too high and I don't intend to neglect my needs. I am already in the habit to make no noise even when orgasming like crazy from the times when I wanked as a teenager and had little to no privacy.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe a month or two otherwise you’re just friends after that and it’s not going anywhere but it depends how many dates you have had and how old you are, if you’re in your 30s or more why are you waiting so long for something that shouldn’t be a big deal to have anymore? Guys are still going to want that sooner or later to know if it’s going anywhere

DizzyDesii · Answer

Somewhere between 6 months to a year. I don't know if i can hold out past a year like before

Emilyis · Answer

I was a virgin on my wedding night, I had never even given a bj before. I was 21 on my wedding night.

Juxtapose · Answer

She would have a month on average. Frankly I am not interested in prudes who are only going to get more frigid with age and then become glorified roommates.. yuck!

OddBeMe · Answer

Sex is incidental to romantic feelings. I’d hope I’d see if my date/partner had no romantic feelings for me. Or if she harbored some insane religious belief like no sex before marriage, that’d be an ender.

TrillXHippy · Answer

It wouldn’t be an issue cause 1) Never in my life have I ever woke up 1 day and ever thought how I just want to have sex today just to lose my virginity 2) Never had sex before and I’m glad so I can really careless

ArrowheadSW · Answer

If it is romantic dating with lots of kissing, etc, I think I'd expect sex within 2 months.

Anonymous · Answer

It would be far easier for a woman to impress me if it was simply sex that I'm after. I don't even factor sex in until I receive complete submission. Sex should be her reward.. grown man *ish

Anonymous · Answer

A month. I tell guys when they say "we've dated over a month and haven't had sex". I respond "congratulations, if you've been dating over a month she's having sex, it just isn't with you". 😆😆😆

Anonymous · Answer

At my age I'm dating to marry, and I have no respect for a woman who is willing to have sex early in a relationship. It tells me she has low morals and doesn't respect herself or her future husband.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Not exactly sure but a few months seems reasonable provided there is progress with regards to the bases.

Anonymous · Answer

It would never become an issue because I wouldn't date them exclusively until we're having regular sex. So I'd be fine still dating her and the lack of sex from HER wouldn't be an issue for me.

IveGotNoName · Answer

Well, it certainly would be concerning if they didn't want it after we get married xD

ArtemisSilver · Answer

Depends on if I'm enjoying her company in a broader sense or feel like I'm just wasting my time.

Wicked_Witch · Answer

I’m not sure. Whenever we are both ready is whenever we are both ready.

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

A couple of days like 2 or 3  women are super Ann and uninteresting let’s stop pretending sex isn’t the only reason we speak to them

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Virgin? A year. Not a virgin? Like second time I met her I'll be like let's do it or else I'm moving on.

Anonymous · Answer

2–3 dates. By that time, you should know if that person is sex worthy or not.

Anonymous · Answer

I've dated a woman for five months before we had sex.

BJP21 · Answer

It really depends how you both feel and both should communicate.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Unknown. The girl usually wants sex before I do.

DiegoO · Answer

I don't take into account the time, I take into account the trust and effort.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

I’d say If it’s been almost a year and we haven’t had sex then it’s an issue

Twalli · Answer

I will wait for 2 years for sex. I won't wait longer than that.

Anonymous · Answer

The relationship doesn't become serious until we have sex. But beyond that, I'm in no real rush.

Anonymous · Answer

Truthfully 3 dates, if after that I see nothing happening I’m assuming she is not interested. In reality of online dating, a lot of people are hooking up on first dates so I’m skeptical after 3 dates.

Anonymous · Answer

I’m a virgin and would prefer to wait until marriage. I think it’s important to communicate.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i can live without sex

exitseven · Answer

a few months. Maybe 3 months.

VIVANT · Answer

No issue

Anonymous · Answer

Until he married me.

Iron_Man · Answer

I’ll wait for marriage

moonpie89 · Answer

Months.. I don't care when

Preeti161101 · Answer

We get three years

Sabretooth · Answer

Until marriage.

TheAfrikan · Answer

You t can even be a year I guess.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

About six minutes

Scotty2hottie36969 · Answer

2 weeks tops this is the 21st century

slatyb · Answer

About two months.

Anonymous · Answer

A month.

ZenJen444 · Answer

Until I'm married

Recurrence · Answer

Several months

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

A month or two

connectingisgreat · Answer

Until marriage.

How long would you date someone without sex before it becomes an issue?

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