Guy hasn’t taken me out on a proper date in two weeks: concerning?

Question

I went to his house to watch movies , he brought dinner this week but he hasn’t taken me out on a date since the 19th. Concerning?

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

It really depends. I usually do not take a woman out on a serious first date. I go with a walk in the park or cup of coffee and if that goes well, then I take her out on a serious date the second time. Usually, I do ask her over to my place until the third or fourth date.

So, if I was you, I would be concerned, seems like this guy might be more interested in the sexual aspects and not so much in you... but there could be finical concerns or other things going on.

My advice is that you need to have a conversation with this guy and figure out what's going on. Usually recommend that women do not go to a guy's place until the 3rd to 5th date, and usually not unless you are ready or willing to have a sexual relationship with me.

With that said, with my current relationship... my girlfriend asked to spend time with me at my place after the first date. But she made it clear that does not mean she wants to have sex with me right away, but she did want to spend time with me in a more intimate environment. That she is extremely attracted to me sexually, but not ready to have sex yet. So, we were like almost a 10 to 12 dates in... like 6 weeks before having sex. When she finally said she was ready to stay over for the night... it was amazing and well worth the wait. But we were both investing heavily on an emotional level leading up to an amazing weekend together.

So, to me you seem to be more about what you are sensing is a lack of emotional investment, and not so much about the types of dates... which honestly is valid to me, and you should be concerned. Trust your instincts.

BullShark · Accepted Answer

It all depends what your idea of a "proper date" is. If you mean he hasn't taken you out to some expensive fancy restaurant, then you should probably rephrase that question to something like "Guy hasn't taken me out on an expensive date in two weeks" or something.

But yeah all things aside, for my girl and I, our idea of a perfect date is watching a movie on Netflix at either one of our homes, ordering in and cuddling in bed. That may not sound like much, but for us, that's still perfect and we'd choose that over some over the top expensive restaurant where you gotta spend half of your salary on the entree alone and all they'd give you is half a boiled egg with some oregano sprinkled on top, with some fancy French name to boot.

If it bothers you so much, you could try talking to him yourself, but bear in mind, it's the thought of spending time together that really counts, not how much you spend or where you go. Maybe he's having a hard time at his job and is hard on cash, or maybe he can't get the time to plan something exciting.

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

Concerning? No we just had the holidays, maybe he just cannot afford to take you out right now? Besides, it’s only been two weeks, it’s not like he hasn’t taken you out for six months. Don’t expect him to always take you out, why not take HIM out somewhere? Your money will work in restaurants just as well as his does. I mean if you really care about him, maybe treat him to a date? After all, we wanted equality sweetheart, maybe he’s just treating you equally and allowing you to spend some of your money on him?

DarkCarousel · Accepted Answer

Maybe he shows love/affection in a different way thank you’re seeking. You want a proper date but he brought you dinner— he may see that as taking care of you and feels good about that.
If you want a “proper” date, you should let him know that you’d like to go out somewhere. You could even plan something for both of you to do. It takes two people to make the relationship special.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Perhaps he spent most of his money on Christmas gifts and needs time to re-establish his normal cash flow. You didn't tell us anything about how long you have been dating, whether it is an exclusive relationship, and his financal resources. Those are all considerations in responding to this question.

Guy13 · Answer

Defintely concerning. New Years? No weekend plans mentioned either?

Summeroflove · Answer

I guess not. If you want something you’re the one who needs to ask. He can’t read your mind if you’re not happy then break it off.

Avicenna · Answer

Yes, but you can ask him out as well

blueonblack22 · Answer

So in other words he’s not a “real man” if he doesn’t constantly plan the whole experience, spend money on you with all the glitz and glamour after just 2 weeks? Entitled much? Seems you care more about the rush of going on a date more than you even care about him.

You know there were a couple of women I’ve dated long term in the past where I often suggested going out on a date but they sometimes responded “you know I’m fine just hanging out, making dinner and watching a movie”. THAT actually made me like and respect them more because unlike women like you because they just appreciated just having me around.

No wonder you are anon. A part of you knows you are being selfish but you are hoping someone on here will tell you “oh I’m special so it’s okay”. Well I am going to tell you what you need to hear vs. what you want to hear. If you are type that is bitching about not being on date in two weeks then I really hope this guy dumps you.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Don't be too concerned.  I don't think he's neglecting you.  He probably likes to stay "cozy" in the comforts of his place or your's.  Or, he could be on a tight budget.  Why don't  you take him out?

SnowedIn · Answer

Not concerning. Especially given the time of year. Perhaps he didn't want to spend the money since it's Christmas. Also, he may consider being at the house a much more intimate date. If it bothers you, you need to talk to him about it. You need to let him no how you feel. Also, there is no one definition on a "proper" date -- you probably need to come to agreement on that too.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Sorry there is just not enough information here to give my opinion on. There are are just so many factors or variables to consider as to why he hasn’t or wouldn’t and I have no idea what your perception is of a “ proper “ date or why that’s even a requirement

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

I’m sorry to hear the guy hasn’t taken you out on a proper date in two weeks, here have a meatball.

Pudsmucker · Answer

Maybe he's having a dry spell? Maybe he's got stuff to work on?
Maybe he's waiting for you to make the next move? Maybe you should give him a call. With today's society give him a call and ask him out for a date maybe to the movie or go someplace for coffee. Go to a museum.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

What is a proper date to you? People can get seasonal depression, stressed out, have an autoimmune disorder that is acting up, been over loading with work, maybe been very busy and just wants to stay home, maybe doesn't realize you want to go out etc. He could be waiting for you to take the initiative when it comes to planning a date without him asking you to. Why don't you plan a date or is that too much for you to do?

Red-Blaze · Answer

Talking to him or suggesting a place to go may be a good idea to find out
I dont think its too worry some, as its not sounds like his avoiding you, and may just not have an idea you want to go or where to go

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

Yes, but the question is what have you been doing if not "proper dates"? Have you been having sex? If you let him smash you for practically nothing, why he should he suddenly start paying for it now? Most people cancel their trial subscriptions before the actual paying period starts. You are a trial subscription of your own making.

hismave · Answer

I haven't exactly been on a proper date in a while really but that doesn't actually cause me to overly worry. I believe when my boyfriend is financially stable he'll spoil me. You don't need to worry too much. He may not be financially stable right now but as soon as he is he'll take u out
That's just one aspect to it though.

Illaskalotof · Answer

Very concerning like its new year... he should do something , but there's a chance he is busy with work

MrNameless · Answer

Uhh.. Is he the one always initiating the plans? Maybe he's waiting for you to reciprocate if you haven't already? Why don't you ask for another date and see where it goes from there.

sheikalana · Answer

Me and my ex didn't go on a proper date until a few weeks after meeting each other. On our "first date" I went to his house to meet him. We were together for one year after that.

Sorrento-Sun · Answer

Maybe he can't afford it. Or maybe he is weighing up your personality first before he spends money on you

surebruh · Answer

What is your definition of a proper date? Have you considered mentioning it to him regarding the stuff you would like to do?

LemiaOfThunder · Answer

You are ware that we just had Christmas and New Year, dates aren't that important unless he doesn't celebrate with family. If your that worried he losing interest get down on one knee and put a ring on it.

BJP21 · Answer

Not really, Id just ask him what's up. Id communicate what your date expectations are. To him a date could mean taking you to Chuckee Cheese or McDonald's. Im not saying this to be funny either.

AimeeKyle · Answer

Not concerning, it is the holiday season. It is already busy and somewhat stressful. Relax and enjoy the time together. (It’s not like he doesn’t want to spend time with you or is avoiding you).

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

People don't need to go on "proper dates" at all tbh, so no, not concerning. Just hang out and do fun stuff together.

Coyote12 · Answer

I've been crushing on a girl right now and since early November I'vee taken her out 4 times. There was 2 weeks where I didn't because I felt like a bother and I was planning all but one.

Keishio · Answer

Given its just been Christmas and new year he's probably strapped for cash right now until pay day. If he's spending time with you then that's what counts. On the other hand you could pay for you both to go out

VIVANT · Answer

Did you initiate going out and he refused, or you just both did nothing?

Reece12345 · Answer

I think that if he hangs out with you a lot then that's the real test for interest in you.

Taylor_C · Answer

Pretty clear this guy is only looking for something casual.

PinkMichae · Answer

Does your definition of a proper date include spending money on you?

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Is there a chance he's broke from the festivities? You can also take him out or find a cheap option that's not in the house.

artsy_dragon · Answer

I haven't been out either ny boyfriend since September. Calm down lol

BellaB8466 · Answer

not every week is a proper date sis. you can hang out at home sometimes too.

MementoMori_ · Answer

Yeah, I would be concerned. It's more like a friends with benefits thing.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

Haha, sounds like he's just had other stuff to do. Just wait until you're in your 30s. Going out properly will be a rare treat indeed

Shedzij567 · Answer

Maybe he doesn't have money, You can take him out.

Purpul · Answer

[So? Is he your boyfriend, or of anything serious?]

Anonymous · Answer

I have been married for over 3 years and my husband still takes me out on dates two nights a week. Your guy is slacking.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe he's tired of always being the one to always take the initiative. Is there a reason you haven't asked him out?

Lookingforthetruth · Answer

Went to his house to watch a movie = netflix and chill=have sex Why would chad pay for dates when you are giving him free pussy?

TheFlak38 · Answer

translation: entitled woman is afraid that her daily dose of attention drugs, as well as free meals and drinks have been reduced.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Yes. Your demanding attitude! Perhaps he can't take you out because his wallet's already been sucked dry!

rienna888 · Answer

Maybe he’s a homebody, suggest going on dates

alcorriher · Answer

he could be financially struggling. but I don't know.

TallAnon · Answer

Holidays, was probably busy with family and thought you weren't close enough to involve in family stuff.

Figurine89 · Answer

What is a "date" to you then? I always thought that guys and girls could just sit at home as friends and watch movies and be bought dinner, lmao

Fryday_Knight · Answer

Why is it concerning? Isn't the fact he loves spending time with you good enough?

Anonymous · Answer

Need more info, do you have sex while there? Is he broke? Maybe he is waiting on you for suggestions or doesn’t know you are not liking the situation of staying in every time

Jamie05rhs · Answer

What's the current nature of your relationship? And what's the history of your relationship?

Anonymous · Answer

Do you think of yourself as an object like a car that needs regular maintainence via financial means? If so, that would be the concerning part :)

MrGSpotHer · Answer

What guy is it if it's your elderly nebiour I'd say leave him alone?

Guanfei · Answer

Take your fingers out of your ass and take him on a date.

peedy · Answer

I haven't been out on a date for over 20 years what are you worried about

krin_m · Answer

Not really. There could be multiple reasons for that.

wtfhunt · Answer

Whas the rush these are times we live in now! If likes you enough it will happen!

spartan55 · Answer

No context, too little info.

Zavarakatranemia · Answer

Does he go out with his friends but not with you?

Guccixlouis · Answer

Have you considered he might not be able to afford a proper date maybe? Times are tough rn

Anonymous · Answer

What about you? What was the last time you took him out on a proper date?

BrightBubblyKat · Answer

Ask him. Does he want a relationship?

20yearsolder · Answer

It's not concerning to me

Guy hasn’t taken me out on a proper date in two weeks: concerning?

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