Why is there so much backlash to deciding to have a baby as a single woman?

[Haha456]

but there is completely no backlash for a man to ditch his kids or deny being a father to a child?

[L12xX]

Is there truly that much of a backlash for a single woman to have a baby? Having a baby is a lot of responsibility and is a full time job in itself. Single parents find it really hard ever with shared custody. As a single mom, you would have to make enough money to support you and your child, and also get a nanny to help you while you're at work. Then you'd have to pay for any activities/hobbies they have or social outings or trips etc. When you get home from work you would be tired but have to care for your child, take them to socialize with other kids, the park, network with other parents so they can make friends easier, take them to their hobbies (karate, swimming etc), help guide them through life and somehow have time to sleep and care for yourself as well. And do groceries and keep the home clean. I mean it sounds like a very hard life. You might feel like you're missing out on raising your child because your always over worked. If you make enough money, maybe you can have a stay in nanny to help you with the child more and house chores etc. But again, it would be hard for you to really be there for your child and raise them. You'd be signing yourself up for a pretty tough life. And what if your child is sick and you have to leave work? No one else can go be there for them (unless you have a nanny) so you need to miss out on making money to support you guys. So it's a hard life. So I believe that's why so many people might be concerned about it. Wondering how you would manage it without burning out. It's a lot to ask of just one person. It's best to have a partner and share responsibilities.

[Haha456]

Being a single mom is only impossible if you don't make enough money. Its very doable if you make enough money. I myself was raised by both parents who worked 9-5 jobs Monday to Friday. How is that so different from a single mom working 9-5 Monday to Friday?

[Haha456]

I never had a nanny either.

[L12xX]

Hi, I'm not at all saying it isn't possible. The question was asking why there is a backlash on deciding to have a baby as a single mom. I personally wasn't aware of this. I started out by asking is there really was a backlash about it. Then, I shared my opinion on why some people might have reservations about it. They might worry it would be too much work or that the mom wouldn't have enough time to be with the child. And as I mentioned above, it's a lot easier if you make a lot of money. I never shared my opinion on the matter, I simply answered her question. And to answer yours on how it would be any different with a partner, its pretty simple. You share responsibilities and income so it's half the work for each. Juts like anything in life, the more people to share responsibilities, the less work for each.

[Haha456]

I honestly think its easier being a rich single mom than to be two broke parents struggling trying to raise a child. I was raised by broke parents who could barely put healthy food on the table or send me to college. If a single mom could adequately put food on the table for me and had the money to send me to a decent college, I would have been way better off.

Its just that people stereotype and look down on single moms way too much. You all just assume that all kids of single mothers are disadvantaged.

Its the lack of financial resources that is the true disadvantage, not single moms.

[L12xX]

I don’t know why you continue to include me in “you all just” etc. I wasn’t sharing my opinion I’m just answering the question why some people might have reservations or be concerned. Statistically speaking, combined income families are usually better off financially. A single parent (man or woman) raising a child alone would have a lot more responsibility and have to work harder. It would be tough. There is an exception where mom or dad makes a lot of money but the average person isn’t that loaded (make or female). The question was generalized so I answered generally, why some people might feel concerned for the person. It’s a lot of work for one person. I agree it’s absolutely possible. And if comparing 2 below middle class salary parents to 1 upper class person of course the one who is more financially well off will have an easier time raising the child. That is true.

[Haha456]

i don't think its a lot of work for one person. As financially well off single moms can send their kids to camp for 2 months during the summer. this was something my parents could never dream of being able to afford.

[Haha456]

Single motherhood is only hard for poor women, not financially well off women

[L12xX]

You aren’t being very realistic and it doesn’t seem like you’re reading what I’m writing. It just depends what kind of life you want to live.

[L12xX]

I just realized you’re the question asked. I’m wondering why you asked the question if you didn’t want to hear peoples opinions. My answer was respectful and without bias. I just answered why some people might feel that way about single moms deciding to have a baby. Raising a child is a lot of work to do alone not only for a women but also for a man. You can’t pretend it’s easy. Ask any parent. I’m not sure why you are being so defensive. It’s hard even if you have money. Cause you also need to be there for your child and be present. It’s okay to admit it’s lors if work. Unless you plan on never seeing your child I’d have an inheritance where you don’t need to work full time or at all. I’m sure many parents would want to know your secret if you somehow uncovered something else.

[L12xX]

*or have an inheritance

[Haha456]

Its not a lot of work if you have the money. I can hire a baby sitter or a nanny. or send my child to summer camp for 2 months where they don't even have to come home. And trust me, summer camp is something that most 2 parent families struggle to afford.

you just refuse to acknowledge that being a single mom does not need to be hard. because you have this inherent "looking down" on single moms. as if we are all broke, struggling, don't have decent careers. Some of us are very successful , highly educated women.

[Haha456]

instead of pandering to your own biases. why don't you take a look at my perspective with reason and logic?

[L12xX]

Okay I’m going to stop responding now. If you go back and re read my message you will see you are misinterpreting everything I said. You aren’t listening to what I’m saying. And you’re projecting your own judgments on me. I’m a young woman myself and I’m not against single moms. I was answering her question about why SOME people might be concerned for single moms. And honestly if you pay to send your kids away to be taken care of all the time they will grow up sad missing their mom. No parents around most of the time raised by other people. So why are you trying to have kids if you don’t want to see them grow up and spend good quality time with them? Raise them? Love them? Money can’t buy love. So you know what, given that you plan on others raising them I don’t see why you would want kids I’m the first place? It seems odd to me. But if I met a single mom, still I wouldn’t be looking down in her personally. Who am I to judge? Everyone’s circumstances are different. It’s easy to take stuff online too personally. But you don’t need to. I’m not attacking you in any way and I’m not against you. I was just answering your initial question. Putting myself in others shoes to do it. Don’t ask questions if you’re just looking to attack people who answer them.

[Haha456]

[And honestly if you pay to send your kids away to be taken care of all the time they will grow up sad missing their mom. No parents around most of the time raised by other people. ]

there are plenty of kids begging their parents send them to summer camp but their married parents can't even afford it. Kids have a life to live and enjoy, they don't constantly look around for their parents every second of the day. Summer camp is a luxury that most married couples can't even afford.

And you love to claim that single moms always have it harder (you made such a huge deal of it that you repeated it probably 10 times throughout this thread.

But that there is proof that single moms don't always have it hard. So now you are looking for another reason to SHIT on single mothers.

Your bias against single moms really reeks.

[Haha456]

And you know what? most married parents would love to have 2 months without the kids bugging them all summer. Its not that they don't want something like this, its because they simply can't afford it.

[Haha456]

Married parents hire babysitters all the time- for date nights, vacations, busy work schedules.

you don't hate on married parents for needing babysitters, you only hate on single moms who need babysitters.

[pupluv45]

Its all due to patriarchy. men get away with a ton of things women can't

[Anonymous]

There’s a lot of backlash to men leaving their kids. As to why there’s backlash toward a woman who wants to have a child as a single parent, well statistically those kids are more likely to grow up w issues. A lot of them are likely to end up in prison, especially if she’s raising a son by herself. Women can’t raise a boy the way a man can. She can try sure as far as loving him, providing for him, but as far as what he should know about being a man. No. So she’s going to raise him according to what her idea of a man is. Which is more than likely going to be a boy who is emasculated, probably let’s women run over him, etc. Statistically when compared to single mothers vs single fathers, the kids tend to do better being raised by the single father.

[AimeeKyle]

Men should be bagged on for not supporting their kid (in every way, not just sharing financially). Two parents are almost always better than one.

[misogynistic_pig]

The fault is from the woman, because she chose who she was pregnant.

[Haha456]

sometimes a woman can never tell if a man will ditch.

[Haha456]

sometimes, the man abandon his kids when the kids are as old as 9.

[In_Trance]

The backlash is a control tactic used by cathlosism
Secondly, men are held 100% accountable by the state

[Yanifah]

Not just Catholicism. Many faiths disapprove.

[Haha456]

@Yanifah

its really not uncommon for dads to walk off regardless of whichever culture it is.

[Yanifah]

I don't disagree with you. My response applies to the first sentence of this comment.

[Haha456]

@Yanifah

but i think single moms get wayy more backlash than dads who walk off. every time i meet someone in real life, they tell me their dad walked off and never came back. they don't even make a huge fuss over it or hate their dads for it. they just accept it like its normal.

but when someone decides to have a baby on her own, everyone jumps on her to harass her.

[Yanifah]

I don't disagree with you, so I'm not sure what you want me to say.

[Anonymous]

That isn't true. Deadbeat dads get plenty of backlash.

[Haha456]

but i think single moms get wayy more backlash than dads who walk off. every time i meet someone in real life, they tell me their dad walked off and never came back. they don't even make a huge fuss over it or hate their dads for it. they just accept it like its normal.

but when someone decides to have a baby on her own, everyone jumps on her to harass her.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm just responding to "there is completely no backlash when dads leave their kids" because that just isn't true.

You could make the argument that those men deserve the backlash, and single mothers do not... I wouldn't disagree. As long as she isn't unfairly keeping their kids away from their father, I don't agree with the backlash they receive.

[Haha456]

why do you think courts always give custody to mothers instead of fathers?
because mothers make better parents. you don't see mothers abandoning their kids at the rate fathers do.

[Haha456]

[I'm just responding to "there is completely no backlash when dads leave their kids" because that just isn't true.]

because reality is, there is no backlash. people just accept it like an acceptable part of society. 95% of the harassment is on single moms.

[Opinion Owner]

"Because mothers make better parents" then why do most children who grow up in fatherless households grow up to be criminals? The reality is BOTH parents are important, especially same-sex parents. Children do better when raised by a mother AND a father.

Anyways, back to what we were talking about (the only thing I was talking about), nobody thinks highly of men who abandon their kids. They are called "deadbeat dads" and are not considered real men.

I am not interested in arguing over who gets MORE backlash, but deadbeat dads do receive a fair amount of backlash. Enough backlash where saying they receive "completely no backlash" is a ridiculous claim. You are literally bashing those men right now.

[Haha456]

when was the last time a dad got backlash for spending too much time at work and never being home for the kids? NEVER.

[Opinion Owner]

Again... Not interested in debating who gets more backlash.

[Haha456]

because you already know deadbeat dads don't get nearly as much backlash as single moms

[Opinion Owner]

You can't stay on topic so I'm muting the Q. Argue with someone else.

[Haha456]

haha i can tell you're a sexist son of a bitch

[Opinion Owner]

And read my original reply again, but slower this time. I wasn't talking about the amount of backlash they receive, I was only responding to " men receive completely no backlash"

Have a good night.

[Opinion Owner]

Reading comprehension skills: 0

[Haha456]

you: LIE TO PROTECT / DEFEND MEN AT ALL COSTS. MEN ARE ALWAYS THE VICTIMS!

[Haha456]

i'm not stupid , ok? I can see through you like glass

[LazerBean]

There's a ton of backlash for men who do that. They're literally called deadbeat dads.

[Haha456]

there isn't backlash.

[Haha456]

PLENTY of men walk off nowadays, scott free.

[LazerBean]

Just because you choose to be blind to something does not make it true ♥️

[Haha456]

just because you choose to be in denial , it doesn't make your ignorant perspective true.