Is it normal to decrease the interest in women seeing they are more interested in our career than the real us?

Question

The more I talk with women, seeing their intentions, the more I repel women in the fear of getting used by them.

With the age, we tend to get into better positions in life in terms of lifestyle and career-wise. When they see we are from a certain position or field of work, they tend to attract to us more than they were back in the early stages of our careers.

I fear these women are just for money and the divorce laws scare me too. So I started to think I'm better off from them recently.

Is it normal to feel this way?

Qdbrown · Accepted Answer

You have merely stumbled on women's nature. No woman is going to tell you consciously how she thinks, but regardless whether the woman is either traditional or modern, a man is judged by women who are seeking a serious relationship on what he brings to the proverbial table. What resources does he have, or you as a woman feel that he can obtain?

Proof is in the pudding. In the scheme of things, a woman values herself, her children and pet a lot more than her mate. Men are suppose to suck it and ensure she has enough provisions in the event you the man die, or if she finds someone better. That's why we have child support and alimony. Survivor benefits to say the least.

As a guy you just have to remember you're a disposable utility. Your investments and 401(k) is to see her through her elderly years. She is going to outlive you by 10-25 years in most cases. Do you know how expensive an assisted living center or nursing home costs? For most, it's around $5-7k a month. Many poorer people have to wait for a Medicaid home to come open and even then, they can take all your retirement pay and real property to help pay for your end days.

That's the real reason you are told you will need a million dollars or more before you retire. In many cases the guy dies near retirement before he can even blow it on toys like a new Corvette, airplane of boat. A witty wife can kill him slowly and legally making sure that diet is very rich, unhealthy and and clogs an artery. It takes about two years. As they say, a retired husband is twice as much husband with half a much pay, and that ain't good.

And I know many will say I am bitter and jaded, nevermind other species that often either negate the male, or flat out eat him like many spiders, so it's just life. It's the price you pay, to push your genes ever forward. Of course for about a third of the population, the cruel joke is that her man she couldn't keep, lays the child, that is passed off to another guys as his own. Happens all the time. No one finds out unless a medical emergency where blood and organs are checked. It's so bad in the UK, their government made it illegal for fathers to do a paternity test on his children unless the mother signs off on the tests first. Men are not suppose to know that.

So good observation. Realize that you have to give something to get something. You're not going to out smart a woman who knows the game far sooner than most guys ever get to know what happens. If you're real lucky she falls truly in love with you and she stands with you for the rest of your life. It's really rare these days, but it has happened. Just be ready and know what you're doing before getting married. A marriage license is a business contract between two people. It also has written laws with how you will be treated imparted by a judge in the family courts if and when your wife decides to remove you from her home.

And if you notice these trans guys becoming women, winning beauty contest? Just remember that many women are not very pretty without the fake-up. The person you want to have sex with is, about as a sexy as a man, but just has boobs and vagina. That's about it. She can make babies. She can make a home if she is not too far gone being a moden woman.

Good luck!

Pegases · Accepted Answer

It's a normal fear. As more women seek to take advantage of unsuspecting men, and we consistently see an abundance of women displaying toxic behavior online here in the west, it makes sense that you'd be fearful of being taken advantage of. But, you can't allow your fear to hold you back. I think your fear comes from not understanding the difference between women worth investing your time and energy in, and women not worth either. So I suggest taking the time to understand female nature. There are a lot of resources out there such as the red pill, that can help you understand women better. Next, become a better man for you. As you grow as a man, you will become more confident in yourself, which is in fact what you'll need to attract the kind of woman that you actually want in your life. Women crave men that are confident in themselves, can protect them, and provide for them, even when they make their own money. You'll do just fine if you focus on those things. Good luck.

quaranta · Accepted Answer

If you ask if it's normal in the West in general I'd say no, here (EU) I never really heard any man getting this concern, and very rarely heard of women selecting partner around the "money" parameter except some eastern European female immigrants and old ladies giving advice. But you probably write from the US that is where in the West this phenomena makes sense to occur the most (because you don't have public services, so the urge to feel safe with enough money is higher), so maybe it could be "normal" in the US context, I don't know.

But, said that, I assume financial stability is a thing for you too. If so, you'd get the best benefit in finding a woman who is financially independent already: she won't select you too much based on your salary if she provides for herself already, she won't leech on you and she will contribute equally in the finances in a hypothetical situation of living together. I think a single mother is most likely "forced" to have a job that grants a decent life to the kids, but it doesn't need to be a single mother to be just ambitious enough to be financially independent, in general. Women with a bachelor's degree or master's degree might be more likely to follow an independent career, probably. They all should be around 30% of women around your age, but there is no need to have that degree to want to be financially independent anyway, I just assume it's more likely.

It seems like you didn't take in account this simple option but given up with all the women thinking none of them would be financially independent, neither looking past your wallet. Maybe you have another reason behind, to have this bias, maybe you are scared of something else and needed an excuse to stop dating.

About marriage: again, I think you type from the US where you people seem to marry in a rush after just 1-2 years after the first date, almost instantly associating "dating" with "marriage", which is just pure gamble because you don't even have the time to test long term life together under the same roof after the initial infatuation phase and you can't even really feel the familiarity and testing the trust in your couple enough, before making it permanent.
So all you have to do, is just to not marry a woman too early (and not deciding to have a baby too early), but to live with her for some years first and to collect a long list of proofs you are both very good at communication and relationship skills to handle conflicts, divergences etc, crating a situation that preserves mutual trust (it's clear you don't trust any woman from the start if you are scared of divorce already without even being close to marriage with anyone, so I think creating a situation that favours trust and working on it together is the ideal scenario before any marriage, for you, but I think in general for everybody).

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

And you’d love and marry a 500 lbs unemployed woman also unvilling to do any housework? Why not? She could have a lovely personality and make a very loving and emotionally supportive wife. You aren’t going to use her for her body/beauty, financial contributions or domestic abilities right? You should love her for her.
Yea it’s bullshit. Just as much as it’s bullshit to expect a woman to love and marry any random lazy broke dude. Women are naturally drawn to men of status, confidence, and go getter mentality. A man who actually have the ability to provide and protect. So yeah things like career position, height, confidence etc do come into play. That’s how women naturally are and always have been. If you don’t accept that maybe men is more up your alley. They don’t care about your career, as long as it’s not too good because they’ll feel pressed and insecure if you make more than them or is higher in the hierarchy than them. So they’ll just love you for you body, ability to clean their underwear without bitching and willingness to let them put their penis in you whenever they want no matter how much of a lazy bum or cold asshole they’ve been acting like lately. They will also expect you to pay 50-50 for everything but still expect you to do 100% of the household chores and childrearing. So have fun with that.

Rosexøxø · Answer

I mean… careers kind of define us-

it’s supposed to be what we loved. If it isn’t… then that’s a “you” problem not a “his/her” problem.

mid you didn’t have to work… what would you be occupying your life with?

👏 OCC-U-PAT-ION 👏

lol

Guy13 · Answer

Take charge of your life and circumstance then you will not have this question.

Anonymous · Answer

Your income will determine her lifestyle. It will determine in what area of town you can live in, what sort of house or living arrangement you can afford, what school your kids can go to, if you’ll struggle to pay the bills or not, what vacations or things for fun you can do, if she can go to buy a coffee without feeling like you need that money for other things and so on. Especially if she goes on maternity leave or becomes a stay at home mom, even if it’s just for a year/few years. During that time she won’t make any income and your salary alone will determine your family’s economic standard. Now tell me why she should rather date a poor man or man with a lower salary than a rich man or man with a high salary, if all other things are equal? Because you see it’s not a question of should she date the ”poor but nice” guy or the ”rich but evil” guy, it’s more should she date the ”poor and nice” guy or the ”rich and nice” guy. Obviously the last option would be more beneficial for her and her potential future children. The opposite would just be dumb. Then of course it can happen that a woman by chance just falls in love with a poorer man and then that’s that but when dating and feelings still aren’t in the mix why shouldn’t she go for men with money?

RealMarek · Answer

Many women are not gold diggers. If you suspect you are attracting gold diggers, be careful not to enter the early stages of a relationship with too many “tells” of your wealth. Drive a normal car to the dates, tell your line of work but don’t let on about the level of status in your job. Keep the status symbols and wealth out of sight as much as possible and take the relationship slowly, then see if a woman maintains interest.

1stupidrobot · Answer

This is just growing up and realizing you don't want a fake or trophy wife to validate your success. That quality in itself is very attractive. But here's my question: does a woman have to be at a certain level of success to be attractive to you, or do you only feel repelled by women who are less successful and therefore more likely, ostensibly, to be looking for a handout? Follow your intuition, by the way, this is more than likely your higher self guiding you to a partner who's good for you.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

There's a fineine between someone who wants to use you for your wealth and someone who wants someone with aspirations. When dating someone new, I do like to know what they do and where they want to be. Not to see gmhow well they can take care of me in the future, but to see where his head is when it comes to the future. I want someone who's going to work hard for what he wants, not someone who's just gonna slide by doing the bare minimum the entire time.

I'd say it's perfectly normal to not be attracted to gold diggers

KathrynTaylor · Answer

I knew a guy like that. I loved him for who he was; and he accused me through mutual friends of being a gold digger. I was so offended that by the time he started to have a change of heart, it was too late. The thing about these guys is if they fear attracting gold diggers, they should either date other rich women or they should stop bragging about their wealth and only mention it when in a committed relationship, when you can be sure they love you for you. In this case, we’d been friends for years.

AmyHew1tt · Answer

Depends on how much of this fear you're basing on what you find on the internet.

What the average woman wants is a boyfriend/potential husband with ambitions and aspirations. Many, if they plan on having children, will reasonably take a man's income into account. It doesn't mean she's using him for his money, it means she's choosing a partner who she can have a stable family with. It is often that one person in a marriage will make more money than another person, but that does not mean they aren't actually in the relationship out of love for each other.

Women who only want men for their money are gold diggers, and they are not one in every three. They are out there, but you don't need to abandon the thought of women in fear of them.

Red-Blaze · Answer

Nowmal most likely
But it sounds a little parnoid fear
In the end what you got to offer? have you worked on your self to make your self a deep man that has a good delth to explore and get to know? are you doing more in life then your job?
If you fear it so much set a change of agreement on marrige
Its a contract and it can be set
Lets say put in there that if the divorice comes and its not mutral the money go to chraity or something
Change it so the fear dont have to be there, but there is a punishment for both sides to cheat on it

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes, beware of such women. They just see you as a meal ticket to live their best life off you and usually you get ish in return from them because they never liked you and loved you for you but rather what you posses or could offer them.

I read years ago in local newspaper in my hometown when the deep recession happened in 2008 and the man lost his career and his money started to suffer and lost his house because he could no longer make the payments, his wife turned her back on him and filed for divorce because if I remember correctly "it was too much stress on her".

RingOfFire · Answer

I think its normal to be concerned about this when you are financially successful. But it isn't necessarily so mercenary. Men and women have differences in what attracts them. It's part of nature. Women are naturally attracted to men who exhibit behaviors of being good providers. It doesn't necessarily mean that a woman is a gold digger or only out for your money. Just as you may be attracted to certain traits in women that are part of your natural inclinations, so women have these things too.

stoicity · Answer

What's the problem? You are questioning the very intinctive nature of women. Back from the days of cave when women need to secure a safe and better lifestyle they used to seek for the strongest men to provide protect and thrive. There's nothing wrong for women now in 21st century to do the same, the real game is you keep up with your career and passion. Afterall, there's nothing stopping you to expect the same amount of quality of life from the women it's a 2 way street and wherever there's freedom there's a responsibility. Expecting women to march along and pump the same amount of effort is the right way to empower them making them self sufficient and together you protect provide and thrive.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Hard YES! I pretend to be broke and a nobody around women I'm interested in. If they don't just want me for my looks, I want nothing to do with them... even if they're hot.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm willing to bet you share information with women, like what you do for a living and in what industry, to pique their interest. If you're suspicious of the women you date, it's your fault for using your professional success as a tool to attract them.

KnewHOUSE · Answer

Only when you have been though something like this before , there are gold diggers out there. You sound like you been around this subject before don't become a wo womanizer because of your past experiences, just keep that part from them unless that's how you got married.

Anonymous · Answer

don't know what kind of women you're dating, but i focus on my own career. obviously i already have a significant other, but these career paths have never bothered us. we are in the same industry, so maybe that's what makes it different. i still make more than him, but now that he's closer to my pay it evens out fairly.

if you're only attracting women after your money, then start looking at women the same level as you, career wise.

Figurine89 · Answer

It's hard to tell sometimes if a girl is after us, or our money. A good way to tell, is to pretend that you've lost all your money, and to see if they still stick around. If they do, tell them that you were only testing them, to see if they were with YOU or for your money

Dinklex3 · Answer

It's definitely normal to lose interest in someone who shows no interest in getting to know you as a person.

Darklydarkened · Answer

Aren't you overreacting? Your career is the definition of what sort of life they'll have with you. What do you expect? Them just being into you? %90 of people aren't that interesting anyway.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

No, just avoid the gold diggers, they aren't marriage material anyway.

Is it normal to decrease the interest in women seeing they are more interested in our career than the real us?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is it normal to decrease the interest in women seeing they are more interested in our career than the real us?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.