I guess honesty is better even if it's brutal right?

[Anonymous]

I just got ditched by a date last week. We were dating for 2 months but not official and he decided to bring the ice and admitted why he didn't even ask me to be his girlfriend:

He told me I would be ok as a girlfriend but nothing more and so he doesn't want to waste my time nor promise anything. Since I'm already not the one, he said it's better we go our separate ways. Even though he was ok with my low count (I've only had one past boyfriend) and being family oriented, he counted 3 things against me that disqualifies me as a life partner in the future.

- Not being a woman of faith. He found it weird that I'm all into commitment but have no type of believe of something higher no traditional values. He thought that was contradicting.

- Refusing to let a father discipline his child. He tried to explain me the difference between abuse and hitting in anger vs swatting with the hands to get the attention of a child when everything else isn't working.

- I come off as too strong sometimes and need to tune it down and maybe compromise sometimes.

This is the only time I've ever got a man that was straight forward. Yes I wasn't what he was looking for. I must say he sounded like a great guy and I had no problems with him but he wasn't ok with me. Honestly is always better right? Even if it's brutal honesty.

[Anonymous]

As soon as you mentioned 'Atheist' I totally understood why he did what he did. I used to have no belief as well but the thing is, not having belief adds absolutely nothing to your life, but it may take it away. Having belief takes nothing away and often adds much more. When I had no belief compared to now having belief everything is so different. Think about it. You not having belief has meant you've potentially missed out on a life partner, kids, love, companionship and much more. It could even be argued that Satan is now smiling...

And don't forget, I spent most of my life having no belief...

[TrustOfWorthington]

huh, sounds like a very responsible guy. Well yes agreed, hoesty is the best, even if it hurts. maybe it woukd turn out wirse if he wasn't honest.

[Asker]

Indeed. I think men that keep dating girls they knew from the start that they'll never marry but they sugarcoat things by keeping them as gfs with false promises are the worse.

[SphynxUK]

He was honest. Fair play. Some people would prefer sugar coated stuff. His reasons aren’t ‘bad’ ones in so far as he didn’t put you down at all. Your just not what he’s looking for. It might be eye opening, or a bit hard to swallow. Either way, he wasn’t right for you, so look forward.

[Asker]

Indeed. It would be cool if more people were like that. It makes the process of moving on and finding someone compatible easier.

[LazerBean]

He sounds like a good guy, I don't know why it it took him 2 months to figure all that out though. But yeah honesty is typically good, particularly if it's something you honestly believe will potentially help the other person at some point.

[Asker]

Yes I'm glad he was straight forward about it and didn't keep me as a girlfriend forever like some men do. The bad news is he was the type of guy that was dating to commit and form a family. That's why he let me go.
Now it's going to be harder finding a guy that commits and accepts me for being atheist and being against spanking kids. Those are two things I just can't change about me.

[LazerBean]

That's the only worthwhile reason to date, in my opinion. And men like that do tend to be a lot more straightforward and waste less time.

[Guy13]

Brutal for fun. Not good whether honest or not.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes, honesty is always the best. I think it's great that you guys found out that you aren't compatible now before it went any further. That's not a bad thing; don't worry. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. Dating is an exploration process.

[Asker]

yes that's definitely better than getting string along. People that string along others (where they knew it'll never lead further) are the worst.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah

[Makeushiver]

You are putting your self-esteem in someone else's hands. Doing that takes the possibility of happiness out of your control and places it in someone else's. That's a pretty good way to ensure unhappiness. It seems like honesty should always be the best policy but truth can have a variety of spins. Some are intended to hurt. Be careful

[Phoenix98]

Honestly is better because it leaves little to no doubt as to why. It makes everything clear to you.

and because he was honest with you early on neither of you wasted precious time being in a relationship that was never gonna work out.

[Ticklishone]

Yes it is!! This jerk messaged me, supposedly 46 years old, wanting me to rp! And because I said that was childish, I want the real deal, I got told off and then blocked! Now that is a troll and a sissy!

[Kaneki05]

That guy sounds like a dick so I would say you dodged a bullet. Your morals seem much better than his.

[LiamJHayden]

"Not being a woman of faith." He should have stopped there. Different world views. It was unnecessary for him to say more.

[PatriceONeal]

Yes but the truth is often a harsh one and most people don't want to ruffle feathers, fuck feathers. Help your friends.

[Akam93]

Yes it is. It's hard for me to honest at times with people.

[alcorriher]

yes. i can say that from experience

[Kelly6]

Totally agree

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes always honesty.