Should I dress or a prn star since men only seem to want to sleep with me?

[Anonymous]

I have really low self esteem and honestly I don’t think I’ll ever fully accept myself until I get work done. I’m trying to lose 40 lbs by 2 months

men only seem to want to use me. They always seem to play me and find someone better than me. I’m so jealous of the girls they actually love.

I’ve never been the girl guys actually love.

I really like the prn star look

[Anonymous]

The reason you're finding these men is because they're picking up on your self esteem level and using it to exploit you for sex. The way you're thinking now is exactly the way they want you to think, and will only reinforce this pattern of finding terrible men.

My advice is to seek the root of your low confidence and work on that a bit. Guys won't go near what they can't manipulate if they're looking for a quick lay. I've been one of these guys years ago. Trust me.

[Asker]

But that’s the thing… I don’t act like it.. I stay to myself and focus on my dreams. I don’t flirt or pay attention to them

The gradually show interest for awhile and I give in slowly… just to find out it was all a lie. They are with someone else

[Opinion Owner]

A person's self esteem can often be sussed out after just a few conversations. You look for the way they carry themselves, the self-deprecation or low eye contact, nerves, maybe they put themselves down a lot, they defer to your judgment, etc etc. I know you don't go around hoeing yourself around to these guys, but a manipulator can still take your vibe and use it if he's crafty and evil enough.

Not saying this is necessarily always the case, even if you're happy you'll still find the occasional jerk. But you deserve better than a man who just sees you as a hot piece of meat. You truly do.

[Asker]

Yeah. I know with one guy I was putting myself down a lot. I would say things “if I were light skin kesha with the big booty you would respond” or “ you still want your ex” (he never mentions her) “am I not good enough?” …. I think he did have empathy/pity.. he told me to stop being so down on myself.

We were actually going to sleep together but he ended up saying he was “busy” a lot in which he was bc of his job but it started to feel like excuses.

He actually admitted that he didn’t want to anymore bc he felt like I was vulnerable. We ended up getting into an argument over text. I said something quite evil I will admit… but he ended up saying that “I can play victim to whatever I conjure up and that I’m lonely angry and insecure”

But at the end of the day he still wasn’t trying to “love” me through it… yes.. he was empathetic enough but he still just wanted sex..

He said he didn’t want to sleep with me bc he didn’t want me in my feelings if a relationship didn’t happen.

[Anonymous]

You don't need therapy, you need God. If people want to use me, I want nothing to do with them and neither should you. Prayer is what you need, not surgery. You can also use subliminal audio to shape your subconscious into one that is more positive and with higher self esteem.

[Asker]

God doesn’t care that much for me. My Jezebel spirit is bad

[Opinion Owner]

God loves all of us and this is coming from someone that never used to believe. You can repent and teach others to avoid the same mistakes. Sometimes what we go through becomes a blessing for others because we can save them.

Think about why you are here. You aren't here to succumb to any of that, you are here to remember who you are and to rise.

[Anonymous]

Consider therapy if you haven’t already. This is a super toxic way of thinking.

[Asker]

How so?

I’ve been to many. I know it’s not healthy but I think it will make me happy.

[Opinion Owner]

Dressing like a porn star and giving in to those men who only want you for sex is healthy to you? This is what I mean by toxic. Dating a guy should be at the bottom of your priority list. Get your mental health in order, find a therapist that you can stick with, and start doing the work to build yourself up because this is not it.

[Asker]

So, me changing my look was for me. I’ve always wanted work done since I was 17.

I just wanted to tease men for money and fun (digital) I wasn’t going to be intimate with them.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m referring to you suggesting that you dress like a pornstar for men, not your wanting plastic surgery. As far as teasing men, exploiting yourself for money just sounds bleak and unnecessary. Already your self esteem is low, and you keep having these negative experiences with men, so why do something that would only make you feel more used? I think you should be focusing on your betterment, so that you can create a higher standard as to what you want for yourself from men. Only shitty guys will be enticed by a woman dressed like a pornstar who talks down on herself every chance she gets. That’s all bad.

[Asker]

Maybe…, all I can do is try. I don’t feel anything anyway.

[Opinion Owner]

You could always work towards feeling something.

[Asker]

Like? Lol don’t treat me like I’m a nobody or treat me like I have nothing going for myself. I have a degree, I have dreams, passions, interest.

This is something you will never understand.

[Opinion Owner]

“This is something you’ll never understand”

Well that’s a broad, rude, and unwarranted assumption. Why wouldn’t I understand having a degree, dreams, passions and interests? Especially since I’m not the one suggesting I dress up as a pornstar for men? I’m responding to what you say, and I don’t need to make you feel any more or less than you already do to yourself. I never even suggested you have nothing going for yourself, all I said was that you could always work towards feeling something, in response to you saying you feel nothing. Make it make sense.

[Asker]

No, you wouldn’t understand the situation I’m talking about.

[Opinion Owner]

It would’ve been nice if you’d specified that rather than following up your accomplishments and positive traits with saying I wouldn’t understand, so I can’t even say my response was out of context. Anyway, I hope you decide to focus more on yourself this year, and I say that kindly. Your views on men and what it takes to attract them are marred by bad experiences, but I think that if you take time to work on self love and resetting your standards, then at some point you’ll be in a healthier position to date. But not right now.

[TrustOfWorthington]

If they are using you ghey won't fall in love anyways. People eho do that shit have can't date the girls they want so they try to exploit others who feel ecen worse already.
This is not because of you. Take your time, set your standards high and don't give in even when times are hatd and desperate. I for example kinda am attracted to that myself which I am ashamed of. But at leadt I don't act on it as I already found out that eithout the emotional connection my doenstairs is jzst dead.

[Qdbrown]

If you act like a 304, dress like a 304. It makes it easier on us guys.

[AngryCarl2]

If you want to enable the kind of behaviour you're complaining about, yes. Alternately get therapy for your self-esteem issues and if it makes you feel better about yourself lose some weight.

[PatriceONeal]

If a woman is 30 years old and still can't find a man. It says more about her than the men in the dating market. You could simply choose different men.

[Sparkie460]

They are picking up on your low self esteem and they prey on it. Make them wait to get you in bed. Make a work for it.

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Sure, then you can just move on to being a hooker, which is illegal, of course

[Lookitsmadmax1994]

As a guy I don't like the pornstar look.

[Asker]

Big boobs, high cheek bone and lip fillers?

[Lookitsmadmax1994]

Dm me.

I like big boobs but not lip fillers and high cheek bones. I like natural women.

[Anonymous]

No, try to have some self respect.

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆

[Asker]

What’s funny